TTC after recurrent miscarriage

[LisaSimpsonsbff]

Hi, just wondering if anyone else was in a similar place to me and wanted to chat about it? I'm 30, TTC my first and have had three miscarriages, all early (two natural MCs at five weeks, then a MMC where a scan at 6+5 revealed development had again stopped at 5 weeks). I've had RMC tests and am just waiting on the results of that but hoping to be able to TTC again from my next period, which should come any day now. I've found throughout the whole thing (have been TTC just over a year now) that it's really helped me to chat with people in similar positions, so if anyone wants to be TTC buddies please let me know!

@thecatspaws I could be totally wrong here, but I thought yellow tinged is okay? I know mine didn't work out this time round, but that was to do with a completely different issue that wouldn't have had any symptoms, and I had yellow tinged throughout. I know this isn't helpful though as once you're in this mindset everything is terrifying and a possible symptom it's happening again. Sending love, and hope everything is okay for you x

@Bertie midwife was truly mortified she looked like she was going to cry, and I got a phone call of apology from the hospital. She thought that instead of ten days postnatal after TFMR I was just ready for a standard ten day postnatal check.

Hope everyone is doing okay today, I had a big cry after I went to bed last night, not sure what triggered it off, but I'm feeling a bit better for it this morning.

Rum I don’t even know what’s okay and what isn’t. I bled more with my healthy pregnancy than with any other but that was at 6 and 11 weeks. My last loss started with pale brown blood and I’m worried this is the start. I’m supposed to be on my period either today or tomorrow so I’m extra jumpy as last time it was a chemical

@thecatspaws it's so stressful. The only reason I have that in my mind as being okay is I panicked when I had it last time, after the MMC, and text my midwife about it - I just checked my phone and the text is still there - she said "Don't worry, yellowish mucus is a sign of early pregnancy, completely normal."

So if it's yellowy rather than brown, fingers, toes and eyes crossed that it's just an early symptom. So hard not to worry though, I know.

Thank you. It’s horrible, after one miscarriage is bad enough but after more than one it is very hard. I do tend to get early symptoms, I can tell before the test so hopefully it’s just another one. I do remember something similar in one of my other pregnancies but I don’t know how normal they were

Oh cats that sounds hard, it's tricky when you've had more than one miscarriage cause you don't know which symptoms are normal pregnancy and which ones are because it went wrong. I had lots of pulling type twinges with the most recent miscarriage but I'm sure I had those with my ok pregnancy too but then maybe I'm misremembering another one that didn't end well. You just don't know. Yellowish definitely doesn't sound bad In itself though like the others said.

Hi @whyhastherumgone
I am glad you have found your way to this board as well. We are still waiting for our pm results too before we plan what we are gonna do. I am terrified that they find something and equally terrified that they don't. It is basically just a massive ball of worry at the moment.
So I am 9.5 weeks postpartum and no sign of my period yet, mine was a pretty traumatic birth (had a manual removal of placenta and postpartum hemorrhage) so I am trying not to freak out too much. GP wasn't concerned so am hoping that all the trauma has just made it a bit late to come back.
Cats not sure if this is helpful but in my last pregnancy I had loads of discharge.
Some of the nice things we are doing in memory of Eilidh are we are going to buy a charity Christmas present for a child in need (one of those charities that get what the child wants from Santa or whatever) and get a bird table (maybe with her name on) and today we got loads of frames for her wee pictures. We are going to leave our tree until next weekend. Couldn't face it this weekend.

Miami Your plans sound perfect. Big hugs.

Sorry things went as crappily as you’d expected foxtrot. I want to smack her on the nose for you. What a cow.

I’m super crampy today. 11dpo. Did Pilates at lunchtime and going again shortly, I’m a glutton for punishment. So might be unscheduled exercise! Af due Thursday.

I really hate testing these days. The thought of another fucking shiny white bfn is just too much to bear. I’m meant to, under orders from the doc to test as early as possible so if it ever happens again I can get on the drugs I have stashed at the back of my wardrobe! But it’s so depressing knowing there probably won’t be anything there.

I have my usual mahoosive painful boobs and some pretty constant very low down cramping but I’ve had the same symptoms in 3 pregnancies and countless nothing cycles.

My sadness and disappointment at it all feel quite close to the surface this week. It’s probably stopping any hopeful twattishness this time.

Wish you hadn’t asked?

Miami those are such lovely ways to remember Eilidh.

Welcome to all the new people. I'm so sorry for all of your losses. And rum sorry you had that experience with the midwife. I imagine that was the last thing you needed.

Anne pilates sounds like a good plan for this week. It seems to me that pre-menstrual symptoms being pretty much the same as early pregnancy symptoms is a major design fault.

Not much to report here other than I'm presuming I'm about days into the TWW and it already feels like it has been going on forever.

It’s a mind boggling design flaw keepon!

Double Pilates was good but I’m shattered and fear I’m going to wake up hobbled.

Hope the rest of your 2ww goes quickly! I’m so bloody bored of ttc. What I’d give to open the door tomorrow morning and find a stork leaving us a squidgy baby for Christmas.

Massive temp drop today and more cramping so af on the way. Boozy Christmas for me! And for the first time all year DH hasn’t done his sad face and said “I was really hopeful this month”, so that’s something.

Hope you’re all okay.

I'm so sorry both about the temp drop and about you generally feeling low, anne. You do so well at keeping positive so much of the time, but it's ok to have really sad patches, both about your losses and about your fears for the future. Big, big hugs.

I am sorry Anne. This sucks.
We may have a consultant appt next Tuesday about what happened to Eilidh, I am suddenly losing my mind about this.
Am having a definite fml day today.
Poor DH just keeps saying how long 9 months actually is.........

He’s right miami, three quarters of a bloody year.

Good you’ve got an appointment in a week. I hope it’s useful.

Af here with a vengeance and Pilates has ruined me. I feel old! So curled up in my pjs, thinking lustfully about takeaway curry, a rare treat, and cosy day wfh tomorrow.

Thank you lisa, you’re lovely. Hunkering down. Not too many emotions of any sort today. Work is really busy and so many plans between now and Christmas so going to keep my mind full of distractions! You doing okay?

Sorry AF has arrived Anne. Bring on the booze, stinky cheese, pate and general Christmas frolics.

Miami I'm glad there has been some progress towards getting your appointment. I can only imagine how hard it will be but I do hope it will give you some answers.

My friend who is an embryologist let me know about these guidelines that have just come out. I haven't looked through them properly myself yet but thought they may be of interest to some of you ladies.

www.eshre.eu/Guidelines-and-Legal/Guidelines/Recurrent-pregnancy-loss.aspx

Thanks keepon - I just had a skim read of that and it's really interesting, but pretty depressing as it essentially concludes that there are no effective treatments for women with unexplained recurrent loss.

Thank you so much for sharing this keepon. Makes me very grateful for the care we've received, which seems to be adhere to the recommendations here. I haven't read it all yet but the stuff about language is so so important, as we were discussing here the other day, and it really does make a difference to how you feel as the patient.

Care-wise, I've been especially grateful for how DH has been spoken to and included throughout. His loss too, his questions and concerns - about the losses and me. It must be even harder if the partner feels they're being completely sidelined and it's all about the woman.

Some interesting bits about supplements and various treatment options. I take vitamin D, not for any particular reason and I feel no different on it, but it seems to be a good idea.

Too much exercise in men is an interesting risk factor, but they also don't suggest sperm analysis as part of recurrent pregnancy loss investigation.

I shall read on, let's hope more clinics and health care professionals start to adopt better language and approaches and fewer people have to go through what's brought us here.

Ah, I'll finish it Lisa. I'm feeling a bit emotional today so just the nice suggested wording is enough to get me going this morning

And I'm disproportionately happy to already be taking vitamin D, even if won't do anything. Not my most rational self today. Bloody hormones.

I actually went on a mega reading scientific papers on miscarriage binge yesterday, which is one of my worst habits - I have full access to everything because I work for a university and your password isn't discipline specific, but I'm a historian so I'm really, really not qualified to interpret them! It is really interesting though - and what surprised me, as a humanities person with the sort of huge cultural reverence we all kind of have for scientists is a) that there is so, so much we don't know and b) some of the papers have really obvious methodological holes. I guess I know that some absolute crap gets through peer review (eg some of my work!) in my discipline, but I had this idea it would all be better in science! I read a paper on miscarriage and nausea yesterday (my current obsession as I feel only the mildest and most occasional queasiness) that found a super strong association, but nowhere pointed out the obvious cause/effect problem that since their average gestation at MC was 7 weeks, a lot of those women didn't reach the point where you'd expect nausea, where obviously all the ongoing pregnancies did. Also, it found that 20% of women felt nauseous at gestational week 2, which it identified as conception, but then never commented further on it, as if it was unremarkable that a fifth of their sample felt sick before they were actually pregnant!

Sorry for the mega-long post/ranting on about my obsessions and probably entirely incorrect readings of things I know nothing about