TTC after recurrent miscarriage

[LisaSimpsonsbff]

Hi, just wondering if anyone else was in a similar place to me and wanted to chat about it? I'm 30, TTC my first and have had three miscarriages, all early (two natural MCs at five weeks, then a MMC where a scan at 6+5 revealed development had again stopped at 5 weeks). I've had RMC tests and am just waiting on the results of that but hoping to be able to TTC again from my next period, which should come any day now. I've found throughout the whole thing (have been TTC just over a year now) that it's really helped me to chat with people in similar positions, so if anyone wants to be TTC buddies please let me know!

I hope they get you in soon. And that it's good news x

I'm alright thanks! Got a day of hopefully doing nothing ahead

Thanks. To be honest I'm a mess today - I've got this feeling it's gone, just like I always get (and, thinking about it, which I didn't have on Friday, which I guess is why I tested again). I know there's no way to know until the tests but I just feel so despairing. I've spent the day crying on and off, and I don't know how I'm going to make it through work tomorrow.

Take tomorrow off. You don't need to be worrying about putting a front on when all this is going on.

Do whatever feels best to get through today and spend tomorrow getting hold of the doctor and either going to have your bloods done or resting up and looking after yourself at home. There are times when distraction and keeping busy is good and others when hiding out drinking tea in your pjs is better.

Crying when you're on this rollercoaster of emotions and possibilities is inevitable. You've been so strong and it's got to come out

I always suggest mindless action films. I got into Jason Statham shouting shooting stuff during my mmc when I couldn't focus on anything more subtle with feelings and dialogue. And lots of hugs with DH.

I'm just a lurker, but thinking of you Lisa. Would your GP not run hcg tests for you him / herself? They are allowed to. Xxx

Unfortunately Monday is the day I do some part-time teaching at another university, and - of course! - I have a meeting with the head of department to talk about me applying for a permanent job there. So unless I really can't cope I think I have to try and make it in. The good thing is teaching is always so full-on that there's no time to dwell.

Thanks so much schnitzel. I think having it done at the GP will end up taking longer because I'd need the nurse appointment and then they take 24 hours to get results, whereas I know (because they did blood tests when I was having the last miscarriage) that the hospital is a first-come-first-served at the phlebotomy department and then results within a couple of hours. When I rang EPU they definitely seemed to think it was better that my GP referred me there. But will have to see what GP actually says tomorrow.

Lisa I'm not surprised that your head is all over the place right now. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed for you and I hope you can get some clarity over what is going on the next few days.

Anne and Miami I'm with you on the baby thank you cards. Straight in the bin in our house!

So weird! I have heard that FMU is sometimes a bit too much urine-to-hormone so maybe that was it?? But who knows. I do hope you get answers Lisa, and I feel positive for you, so try not to dwell on what might go wrong. Of course we don't mind BFPs here anyway - I do think this is quite a different kind of infertility thread, and we are probably less sensitive to BFPs, as a group, than people struggling in other ways.

Oh wow Lisa what a confusing few days. I'm really hoping that it all turns out OK. The waiting in the early days feels so long and worrying. I tried to tell myself there was nothing I could do to change outcome by worrying, so kept busy and ignored thinking about it too much - hard to do though. Hope you get bloods done soon to remove some of the limbo.

I think as this thread is in conception and we're all trying to make and keep babies, BFPs are exactly what we're after and they make me feel positive, happy, and hopeful.

I hope you've spoken to the doc Lisa and have a plan, also that work goes quickly and easily for you today. Keep us posted.

Thanks, anne - I really appreciate the support. GP spoke to EPU and said it was best that the GP's surgery do bloods, so booked in for tomorrow at 8.20 and then 9.30 on Thursday. EPU have booked me a scan, which actually really upset me (I know this is me being unreasonable!) because my immediate thought was 'but I'm never going to make it to seven weeks, so you've just given me a thing to have to awkwardly cancel and a day to feel a bit extra sad about when it rolls around'...

(I didn't ask for a scan, to be clear, I just wanted the bloods done. That would obviously be [even more] barking mad, to ask for it and then resent it!)

Lisa - glad they are doing bloods this week for you. Really hoping it is good news for you. Each pregnancy is different and you are on the projestrone and asprin this time. So hopefully it won't be a repeat of before and you will get to the scan in 7 weeks with everything looking great.

Completely randomly the hospital sent me a letter today saying that they're referring me to the St Mary's miscarriage clinic (letter sent before I told them about this pregnancy). Pretty certain this is because I complained, which is pretty bad really. But gives a new bit of hope if this one doesn't work out - at least there might be another shot at finding out what's wrong.

Really glad you're getting some bloods done Lisa. Will you be able to get the results of the first set today? And I really hope you don't have to make use of that St Mary's appointment.

Oh I'm so sorry foxtrot - and definitely offload away! Do you know when AF is due? Are you sure that a BFN now definitely means you're out? In any case, you're allowed to feel sad and disheartened. I'm sorry that you had a crappy weekend, too - it's horrible when a number of things at once combine to upset you. And although we all know that other people having babies doesn't mean anything for our own chances, it would take a saint not to be bothered by it sometimes!

Had first set of bloods this morning before work. They don't seem to be planning to give me the results of this one, just the two together on Friday - which I guess makes sense, as unless the first test shows I'm not pregnant at all any more (which I assume they will tell me!), I guess there's not much I can get from the number without knowing if it's going up, and at what rate?

You might get your results from Thursday that day Lisa, fx it's super soon either way and the news you're hoping for.

I knew from my hcg test at 4 weeks it wasn't great, I was having very clear bfps but my first hcg result was 60, which they didn't say they were particularly worried about, but I know now meant it never really got off the ground. If it had doubled with the second one all would have been okay, but it didn't so I knew it was going to miscarry.

Crossing everything and saying a little prayer you have wonderful news. Thinking of you!

I totally get what you're saying about the scan, but one day at a time for now. Bloods are one phase, scan will hopefully be another.

So gutting foxtrot, I'm really sorry I've been in exactly the same boat and due to the losses I did allow myself to be slightly smug about how easily I was conceiving - I don't feel too bad about it looking back as I had sod all to be smug about and was in a horrible place and trying to find anything positive! But it was something positive to hold on to
and it did help for a while, though it's now been 10 months and I'm as worried about conceiving as staying pregnant.

It's okay to be disappointed, angry, frustrated, whatever you're feeling. Have a rant

Yes sorry Foxtrot to welcome you to the seemingly "can't even get pregnant anymore" club

I can feel AF coming on so not very likely I'll be getting a BFP this month.

Hi all, I've been taking bit of a break from thinking about TTC (or trying to!) but following along. Sorry there's not better news going on for everyone, but fingers crossed for you on Thursday Lisa, that's a total rollercoaster you've been on in the last week. And sorry to hear about the BFN foxtrot

I've been quite enjoying my time off! But now AF is due next week and I'm back to scheduling sex in case we miss the next fertile window (we both work away a lot so requires serious diary coordination). And annoyingly my last cycle was much shorter than usual, so I may well end up pg over christmas anyway, despite trying to avoid.

That said, I'm the same as you Anne and Foxtrot, conceived super easily last 3 times, but it's not happening now. It makes me cringe to think how smug I was at the start. I thought I was so perfect getting pg straight after 15 years on the pill. So naive!!

On the wine already tonight after a day of pregnant chat at work, never gets any easier

Four of us on the bench! Sorry Scary.

We have been looking at a potential new apartment to rent. Tentatively hopeful because it looks so perfect. At least it gives me something else to focus on and then maybe I can convince myself fate was just letting us find that nice place to move to before we get pg!

It can't just be me who does things like that can it? I am not religious or spiritual but just feeling like things have fitted into a plan does really help. Actually with DH breaking his foot this summer I can look back and say that would have been an actual nightmare to deal with while pregnant and with a newborn, on maternity leave etc.

My mum is a great believer in everything happens for a reason. I think I'm more that you can force things to make sense in sequence if you look hard enough. But that's okay.

Mind you DH and DS have been experiencing some strange phantom sounds at night almost as though somebody is visiting so who knows, perhaps someone who loves us really is looking out for us and wants to help us get sorted before our time.

May I de-lurk and join in? I've had 4 mc but also 3 living children. No reason for the mc. AF due at some point in the next few days (took progesterone to bring it on - my last D&C was in September). Hoping to TTC this next cycle. I have read a bit and the TTC after loss thread definitely isn't for me.

Lisa - I know we've bumped into each other a few times around the boards. Rooting for you.

Apologies for the lack of other personals, will do my best to read back and make sure I know everyone's stories properly.

Welcome Schnitzel. I hope you feel at home here soon enough.

Sorry about the BFN fox.

Lisa, keeping my fingers crossed for a nice doubled HCG on Thursday.

I'm due to take my last oestrogen tablet tonight woohoo! We're off to Seville for a few days on Monday so I'm hoping to get any kind of bleed at the way before then and then TTC officially restarts! Also will be glad to see the back of the condoms which have been required since the op.