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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

TTC after pregnancy loss: We're nervous, we're hopeful, we're checking all the charts and taking all the vits!

999 replies

BertieBotts · 15/08/2017 23:09

Welcome back all and welcome new posters.

Flowers Brew Cake

OP posts:
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14
Flatwhite31 · 09/09/2017 14:24

Thanks @coastalchick. My nephew (nearly 3 and a half) lives in China, so I only see him once a year. We Skype, but it's not the same obviously. I was so looking forward to seeing his reaction to his little cousin next summer, but now there will be no cousin Sad.
My niece lives nearby, but she's only 1 and a half and is adorable, but in a way seeing her just makes me wish I was pregnant even more.
I am very very grateful for DH, like you said. We are getting takeaway tonight, but I'm still off alcohol as it just reminds me that I'm not pregnant.
If you're getting BFN you should be pretty much clear of HCG. I'd keep doing the OPKs over the next few days if I were you. I think because I made it to the 12 week scan, my body is taking a little longer to get rid of everything.

midgetjen · 09/09/2017 14:26

I tried using a clearblue digital ovulation test last month but found it a nightmare and got 8 days of high but never an ovulation confirmation (obv must have done as had pregnancy I have now lost)
Has anyone else had better luck with them and it's just me? Or should I be trying temp or something else instead?
Would also be interested to know what vitamins and supplements would be recommended. I've had a lot of conflicting advice!

coastalchick · 09/09/2017 15:28

so our "friends" cancelled on us tonight. FFS. They know we've been through hell and just wanted a night of normality. Why do people say "we're here for you" if they don't mean it?!

Annoyed at the world right now

weasledee · 09/09/2017 15:31

I used a clear blue digital a few years ago when trying for our second baby. It recorded that I never ovulated (got highs but no smiley face) according to the machine, however my son is now 4 so clearly I did! Smile

KerryLeanne84 · 09/09/2017 15:39

Mrsroarke - I'm in the same boat at you with ltttc- been trying for 2 years before mmc at 11 weeks too. You're giving me some hope that I'll have at least one child eventually! X

midgetjen · 09/09/2017 15:48

@coastalchick sorry to hear about your friends. Hope that you manage to do something nice tonight without them. I've found that my friends that haven't been through it are a bit clueless and just don't know what to say (think they are worried about saying the wrong thing). But flaky friends is the worst when you need them. I've been there so you have my sympathy Flowers
@weasledee - glad it's not just me! I don't think I can justify the cost for the lack of conclusive result with it

UnicornsandRainbows1 · 09/09/2017 17:44

Right so if I exit a group chat because I don't want to see your newborn, and deactivate facebook because it's all really hard with everyone's likes and posts of kids, don't put a picture up in another group chat. I get it's supposed to be funny and it's been a month but ffs bigger off.

Every time I think maybe today will be okay some tiny thing will trigger me off again Angry

So it's been nearly two months and maybe I should be better or nearly over it but it's like people just fucking forget

UnicornsandRainbows1 · 09/09/2017 17:45

bugger not bigger

JenCFA · 09/09/2017 18:12

Hi everyone, hope you're all having as good a weekend as possible in the circs.

@flat I don't have children yet, and for me, after three miscarriages, that is the thing I struggle with most - that we may never have children. Or at least that I will never be able to carry a baby of my own. What I constantly remind myself is that even though I'm now in the 1 per cent of people who have recurrent miscarriages, like quite a few others here, the odds are still very much in our favour that we will have a baby. I obviously hope this won't apply to you, but even three in a row can be down to pure bad luck. It doesn't have to mean there's anything 'wrong' or that you can't carry a baby. Likewise, even if there is something they can diagnose, there's still every chance you will have a baby. I don't know if this is helpful to you or not.

After losing this third baby, I've been lower than I've ever felt. But every day does get a little easier. You will be able to try again v soon (even if it doesn't feel like it right now) and with each milestone you'll feel a bit better - the first time you don't need to wear a pad, when you finally get that bfn, when you ovulate etc. It's such a hard time in these early days, so hang in there and be gentle on yourself. Treat yourself to little things where you can. And it's fine and normal not to feel like doing much. Try to celebrate every little achievement as a victory - even if it's just taking a shower and putting on make-up (just me?).

Better days - and your baby - are coming. And I say that last bit to all of you lovely ladies here. x

yellowfrontdoor · 09/09/2017 18:14

Off to face SIL at this bloody party.

DH & MIL think it will help to meet up first. Honestly Hmm

Wish me luck. Will catch up with thread later. Hope everyone's ok Flowers

JenCFA · 09/09/2017 18:16

Oh @unicorns that sucks. I don't understand why people don't understand how much stuff like that hurts. Even people who do genuinely care - my mil has been lovely throughout all our mcs, but every now and again does something like send us unsolicited pix of family members' newborns, presents she's bought for babies etc. Could you message the person in private and just say, as nicely as you possibly can, I can't handle this right now? Or would they not take that well?

Ekphrasis · 09/09/2017 18:18

But every day does get a little easier Jen, so true and also yes to taking each step as a victory. That's how I've coped.

Flatwhite31 · 09/09/2017 18:20

What a lovely post @JenCFA. I'm ok with getting up and showering etc, as I have to for work and I hate being unwashed! What I'm struggling with is going out. I'm ok if I'm with DH, but not on my own. We were supposed to be going out tonight, but I can't face it (it was supposed to be a pregnancy announcement evening for us). I also think I'm coming down with something. My legs feel so so achy, like I've been doing intense exercise (which I haven't). Sigh.

@UnicornsandRainbows1 I totally get how you're feeling. My latest anger is about being completely abandoned after MC. I actually complained online about just getting a text from the midwife!

JenCFA · 09/09/2017 18:22

Good luck @yellow - wishing you lots of strength and WineWineWine

KerryLeanne84 · 09/09/2017 19:10

Good luck yellow 💛

Lovely advice Jen ❤️

Unicorn - I know what you mean! People think that if you seem okay and are functioning you're over it!

UnicornsandRainbows1 · 09/09/2017 19:14

I'm not even sure why I blew up, it's just a picture. If I get told that others get on with their lives or that I can't begrudge someone for their happiness one more time though. I'm fully aware, don't make me feel more guilty than I already do for being a shitty human being.

@JenCFA I'm not sure tbh. They know I wasn't great. I don't want to and shouldn't be craping all over their happy occasion. Part of me feels like it shouldn't even need mentioning. I feel like it just takes a bit of common sense and consideration but there we go, maybe that's just me

UnicornsandRainbows1 · 09/09/2017 19:24

@JenCFA @Flatwhite Jen is right, the first time you don't have to wear a pad anymore does wonders! And the first time you just start spotting or no longer getting red blood. The first time you don't bleed and think I can now have a bath and wash all the crap I feel away.

beanhunter · 09/09/2017 22:15

Feel crappy today. Think my period has arrived for the first time since erpc and was at my nieces birthday party. My dad knew about the mc and how ill I was with the pregnancy. So he says today that I must be pleased with my weight loss (um no actually. I'd rather be pregnant) and also when I had some crisps - I see you're making up for lost time with your eating. He's not known for his tact but it made me feel like absolute crap.
Also as another lttc it's "nice" to see others in the same boat (not nice, wish none of us were here iyswim).

KerryLeanne84 · 09/09/2017 23:37

😘 Hugs bean - dad's are rather good at putting their foot in it aren't they. I would have had the same reaction as you

Flatwhite31 · 10/09/2017 12:38

I think my bleeding has finally stopped. I thought I'd feel happy, but I just feel sad. We stupidly went to my favourite place for breakfast today as I thought it'd cheer me up. However, I saw 3 pregnant women in the space of 2 mins, then I remembered the last time we went to this place was to celebrate the pregnancy with my family who were all visiting. Little did I know I was carrying a dead baby Sad. Going to speak to my GP tomorrow about feeling like this, as I just can't snap out of it. Going out seems to make me even worse!

TheGrumpySquirrel · 10/09/2017 13:58

Sorry you are feeling down flatwhite. It will get easier. And trying again helps a bit.
Well I say that but I got another bfn this morning so looks like I'll be heading into cycle 5 post MC shortly, which is quite depressing, especially given we DTD every day for 2 weeks straight, so I thought we would have a better chance this month.

Flatwhite31 · 10/09/2017 15:42

I am SO confused! So this morning I did a Clearblue digital OPK - negative. Then, on the way home in the car I thought I was starting to bleed again, but it was clear and it looked a little like EWCM (sorry TMI). Did a cheapie OPK when I got back which looked positive, then a digital which is now positive with a static smiley! I don't understand! Is it the HCG maybe? If so, I don't get how it can go from positive to negative in one day?!

Flatwhite31 · 10/09/2017 15:52

Sorry that should say negative to positive at the end of my previous post.

KerryLeanne84 · 10/09/2017 16:12

So sorry Grumpy ❤️

Flatwhite - I've had tons of ewcm the past couple of days too. I don't think we should get our hopes up too much as apparently hormones are haywire after mc and people can get a lot of ewcm and not ovulate... who knows! I had really strong ovulation pain yesterday which is apparently also common after mc

MogScratch · 10/09/2017 17:55

Flatwhite I have had Opks go from negative to positive in a day. Have you done a pregnancy test to check it is negative?