TTC after pregnancy loss: We're nervous, we're hopeful, we're checking all the charts and taking all the vits!

[BertieBotts]

Welcome back all and welcome new posters.

I'm going to wade in here, because I've been trying to think back (it seems like forever ago!). But I think I might have gotten darker blood when I was passing clots - with addition to cramping and wonderful pressure right above my nether regions. I'm not saying it's that per say but it did occur a week or so after d&c (but I seemed to have created A LOT of them >_>).

Hopefully the GP will put your mind at rest and it's just the end of the bleeding. Mine went into a dark brown which tapered into spotting towards the end so fingers crossed.

I think mine were extremely dark clots. It was unnerving but I reasoned it was very old, thick blood, which can be very dark looking. It became browner as time went on. But do see gp maybe.

The hardest thing for me about mc is they simply don't talk about the ins and outs. No one does. It would help if we did.

There's a thread in pregnancy loss on what I wish I'd known about a mc or similar - that might be helpful?

Hello everyone... haven't posted in a while. Been licking wounds and busy with work and toddler. But also been actively TTC. Had a positive ovulation test, first one since MMC. That was 19 days ago. This week I got a very faint BFP. I was 5 days late for AF. Tested again yesterday morning and got another faint BFP. Then last night I started to bleed. I'm bleeding like a normal period. This is a chemical pregnancy isn't it? What does this mean in terms of testing etc, does it count as a miscarriage (in terms of NHS doing tests after 3). Do I need to tell GP? Urgh. 2017 can do one 😔

@Ekphrasis It would really help if there was more open dialogue. It seems so closed off.

I've been having a think recently (I may change my mind completely) about this actually, and part of me is in the mindset that if I am fortunate to have a successful pregnancy, when they're older and learning about the facts of life, I may honestly lightly bring up miscarriage too (when they're ofc older). I think it's just so important right now. If god forbid they and their partner have to go through it too, I just don't have it in me to have them as scares and unprepared as I was. Obviously it's different for everyone, but I don't know. I'm probably being stupid. It just kills me inside imagining any future children scared and feeling alone.

To the point where I'm actually forming tears right now. What the fuck is wrong with me

Unicorns, I know what you mean. The wives take that it's just a heavy period is not reality. At a few days past my af day, my early mc was very painful and made me feel faint. The pressure and cramps were so strong. It's not a bad period!

@Ekphrasis Precisely. What's what it's got in my mc booklet. No, no it was not! I'd much rather hear the worst case scenarios or the average experience, and then anything better is a lovely surprise.

The first time my body started up, I literally spent from 10.30 Tuesday evening to around 5 the next morning just passing things. If I felt a fraction more drained and lethargic before I finally went to sleep I would've made my way to a&e. I've never felt such a zombie in my life. And now I know that that was just a part of it. I have no clue what they managed to take out during my surgery but fuck me it must've been crazy.

I wish they told you about the weird contractions too. I heard about it but I had no idea I'd be experiencing it (stupidly thought it'd be for people further along) and how much they screw you up

No, nothing I read really mentioned contractions. They were very odd; my body just seemed to take over and do it's own thing.

Also, at no time did anything go on a pad. I felt like I needed the loo each time. So I could't gauge how much it was at all.

I hope this isn't too much to read. I found it hard to look at some things afterwards, like red flowers.

Luckily, I was off work due to holidays. So only took one day off and had two and a half weeks till work started again. I would have felt worse I think if I'd had to go back after a week - I would have still been having the odd contraction. I was grateful I didn't need to worry about it. We joined a family friend at a villa in Spain for 4 days towards the end of the holiday, which really helped too.

I'm so sorry stillmissv- that does sound like you've had a chemical 😔 I'm not sure myself if it counts as an official miscarriage but if you think something is wrong and really want to be referred, perhaps they will do

MissV a chemical is still a mc and I would report it to your GP as such.

I'm so sorry MissV. Definitely report it as a MC to your GP.

So today i had a lovely dark line on my OPKS. DH has been a total arsehole today and we had a fight earlier. I'm now upstairs upset but I'm also thinking we really need to DTD. Fun fun fun!!

Thank you first the lovely welcomes. I appreciate all your kind words and I'm sincerely sorry for you're losses.
Ekphrasis I've not been back to the GP, but one of the consultants was horrified my Dr had been giving me meds to slow my menstrual bleeding for 15 years, rather than refer me for all my symptoms (anaemia caused by sever menorrhagia, migraines etc). my laparoscopy photos show a scarred fallopian tube and huge uterus. Pretty certain this could have akk been prevented, but here we are, and i can't change it, just deal with what I have. I've moved to Norfolk now and these Drs do seem much more on the ball!
I was adcised by a junior Dr at the hosp to have an ovarian reserve test- anything at my age (40) will have to be private.
I'm in the hypothyroidism club too for those who are interested- I know a fair bit about it and have some good medicating tips that really helped me.
I'm currently trying to read all of the thread so I'm familiar with your journeys. It's breaking my heart and I'm in awe of the courage you all demonstrate

Missv I was also a bit unsure as to whether I'd had a chemical or an early loss at 5 weeks... I think the term chemical makes it sound as though it wasn't there, like a mistake with the chemistry of the test or something, and that's not the case: there was a pregnancy there and it ended very early. I've heard a few ladies on here (and me too) who've had losses at 5 weeks, and you must've been almost 4.5-5 weeks? So I also think it's definitely an early MC and worth getting it noted on your records. Hope you're ok, it's still such horrible experience even when it's so early xx

Leannie, that's awful but glad your new doctor seems much more on the ball.

Impatient, you're absolutely right, it still is a MC.

A Facebook friend today posted up a link to a Saying Goodbye remembrance service for lost babies where everyone is welcome whether they have had a MC or lost children in early years recently or years ago. I hadn't heard of this before so just in case others hadn't and thought it would help to say goodbye in this way, the website is www.sayinggoodbye.org/.

So sorry @StillMissV, definitely report it to your GP. Hugs. X

I did a HPT this morning (one of those One Step strip ones) and it's a faint BFP (faint but clearly visible if you know what I mean, no squinting required). I also did a Clearblue digital ovulation stick which resulted in a circle. I'm pleased with that, as I know it shows a smiley face if Hcg is high, so I'm hoping things are going in the right direction. I just want to be pregnant . Should be hearing baby's heartbeat in 11 days...

Obviously we all want to be pregnant again, but I just feel resentful of the fact that pregnancy will never be enjoyable again. It'll just be 9 months of pure anxiety .

Sorry I missed your post StillMissV. I've called my 'chemical' or early loss a mc on he mw form. Apart from anything, it's actually been one more as I had a 'true' chemical.

That's awful LeannieRVN. Glad your gp is now a bit better.

I've been hypo for 20 years so 'know the score' however it was challenging in my last pregnancy as I was on a (later withdrawn) brand that wasn't the correct strength. So we chased tsh for the first trimester (three raises and still tsh 13,) then moved to the hospital brand and anther raise to 225 and I went hyper. Ds was low birth weight but is absolutely fine. It casused horrendous anxiety though.

Oddly my recent issues have been that I've been over replaced, esp in pregnancy so I am going go easy this time - test next week I'll be 5+3 (if still pregnant) then I'm going to try to find out what that is before I raise.

Can I join. I had a MMC @ 11 weeks last month. Was miraculously hoping to be one of those people that get another BFP straight away, but AF arriving today shows it's not to be. And since it took over 4 years to conceive my DD, and a year of TTC before the MMC- I knew it was unlikely to happen straight away. Just wanted to have the 'super fertility' everybody keeps telling me about.

Ladies who don't have kids - I keep having this horrible anxiety that maybe I can't carry a healthy baby 😥. Does anyone else have this? I'm not prone to anxiety or depression at all normally, but can't believe how awful I'm feeling and how many negative thoughts I'm having.

@Flatwhite31 - yes, this is totally me this morning. I turn 39 on 21st which makes it even worse. We got pregnant first go and couldn't believe it. Now I'm thinking that it is just not going to be for us. OH thinks I'm being silly but he doesn't get it - I know it was his baby too but they're not the ones who have been through the physical process, which affects us emotionally.

I think we just have to take comfort in the fact that it is only 1% who have recurrent miscarriages. We could fall into that but chances are we won't. If you had a 1% chance of not winning the lottery, you'd sign up to those odds for sure! Most women (and there are plenty on here) go on to have a successful pregnancy. A friend of mine has 2 beautiful little children with no mc or complications before them. She has just had a MC on her third (which wasn't planned), so it goes to show that it can happen to anyone. Plus MC for first is the commonest occurrence I think.

But I do know how you feel, we can rationalise all we want but when emotions get in the way they tend to take over. We are at the same stage so more than happy to PM if you like and we can try to get through this together. x

In other news, my bleeding is back - FFS. Is there no let up?!!! We are out to dinner tonight with our closest friends to celebrate our engagement, as that fell by the wayside with the baby news. And now I'll have to wear a bloody pad - already feel disgusting as it is!!! But have just lathered self in fake tan to try to make me look a little more alive!!!!!

@MrsRourke - so sorry you are here but welcome. It might happen next month, please just hold onto hope. x

Hello ladies.

Haven't been on here for a long time. Sorry to see a few old names still here. (Waves to Anne and Bertie)

Just popping in with a quick question really. Waiting to have surgery on a uterine septum on the 6th Oct and then will be back to TTC once we have the all clear. I think it'll be our last attempt so I'm planning on going all out. Want to start taking Ubiquinol now to give my eggs a good start and wondered if anyone has got any recommendations for where to get it from?

Hi keep! Hope your surgery goes well.

I must say I went out and bought the pharma Nordic one that I've noticed they prescribe at my local boots (I think its prescribed for people on statins). I looked for the best deal on Amazon. There are cheaper ones but I got in a muddle about which to go for formulation wise.

Ideally take for 3 months to have an effect, the only actually proven research on humans is that it does help sperm, so dh takes it too. (Other research so far is on mice but a fertility clinic I came across recommends it as the main one to take)

I also take extra folate as does dh though not sure if to do so in pregnancy; I have a half tablet every now and then at the mo and usual prenatal vit.

have just got a BFN on the pregnancy test which is good news, but frustrating since we can't DTD as I am still bleeding and because of scan to check all clear on 19th.

Not going to do OPK yet as will just frustrate me

I wish I had been offered a scan to check everything had gone @coastalchick but they don't offer you anything in my area. I'm so upset I'm still getting BFP, albeit faint. It's not so faint it's a squinter though . This whole experience is so crap isn't it.

Feeling down today. I feel like I'm exhibiting some really depressive behaviours, like not wanting to socialise or leave the house. This is really unlike me. Monday will be my first ever GP visit in my whole life about feeling down. DH and I were supposed to be going out tonight to meet his crowd of friends to do our pregnancy announcement to them. Of course there is no announcement, and I can't face it, so we are staying in instead.

It's crap that they don't offer you a scan flat. The good thing is, it's faint. It should get fainter each day until it's a BFN. But yes, the whole experience is crap.

It's no surprise you're feeling down - I think we all are. One of my coping strategies is to spend lots of time with OH's niece (2) and nephew (4.5) as they do cheer me up lots with their funny ways. The little boy is currently obsessed with poo, and I find it funny too, so we have some very funny conversations. When I saw them Thursday he had made cakes and I watched him decorate them. Then he said "I made cakes just for you". So sweet. Am making them a surprise cake today to take round tomorrow - it's a piñata cake so has smarties in the middle - can't wait to see their little faces when we cut it open tomorrow.

Not sure if you have any little people you can spend time with? I thought that it would make me feel worse, a reminder of what I don't have, but actually I find it helps as they are just so innocent, sweet and loving.

Can you make tonight special with you and your OH and just make it an "about us" night and celebrate your strong relationship? You could get a really nice bottle of wine and cook something special. May not work for you, I don't know, but sometimes distraction is a good method.

I've been through hell but am SO grateful am with OH. 3 years ago I was not only childless but also single, and thought I'd never meet anyone. I may not have the family (yet) but I do celebrate the fact I have OH.

Couldn't help self and opk showing very faint positive - not sure if that's cos of HCG or if cos ovulating. Grrrrr