TTC after pregnancy loss: We're nervous, we're hopeful, we're checking all the charts and taking all the vits!

[BertieBotts]

Welcome back all and welcome new posters.

Shopping done. Sex will have to happen at some point soon too. Haven't had sex since I found out I was pregnant as was too sick and just have no interest. However won't get pregnant without it!

I think I've ovulated and I've also gone completely nuts and started carrying bloody crystals around and asking my mother to send healing our way if she has any spare I'm sure DH wouldn't approve but fuck it, it can't do any harm can it?? And perhaps the cosmic woo energies will help, who knows.

I've been carrying crystals around too Bertie - my mum sent me a pretty tree thing which I'm now using as a keyring which has all sorts on - can't do any harm as you say!

Well done on the shopping bean, and good luck in the new job - hope the new wardrobe boosts your confidence.
After my surprise second positive on the opks on Tuesday, I got another positive yesterday and today... What is going on?!

I had bad abdominal pains this afternoon. Thankfully they aren't unbearable, so I was ok in class with the kids, but I just wish they would stop. I want it all to stop, get a BFN and feel better physically. It's so bloody drawn out.

Bertie I believe that if you believe it, it helps.
This coming from a total heathen atheist by the way

I think it's all about staying positive, despite everything I truly think I'm a positive optimistic person.

You carry your crystals! 💎

Hi everyone and thanks for your concern. Feeling a bit better today but cried on the way home because a man shouted at me on the tube 😡 🤔 Also been feeling ovary pains and stabbing abdominal twinges but of course I know it's perfectly possible for that to mean nothing. If I get a bfn tomorrow (9/10dpo) I'm calling the Botox people for an appointment once AF arrives! to make me look less haggard 😁

Halloumi I got six positive OPK this cycle. Maybe we'll conceive twins... !

I've been having a think tonight, as my friend (who is a counsellor) asked me what support I was getting from the medical side, and she was shocked when I said absolutely none. After the ERPC I was discharged with a couple of leaflets about general anaesthesia and what to expect after the ERPC. All I got from my former midwife was a text. I'm surprised there's nothing out there for women who have suffered miscarriages. It's really rubbish, and I have to say, I do feel a bit abandoned by the healthcare system. I know the NHS is stretched, but to not even get a phone call from the midwife was a bit crap really, as if my baby just didn't count. I know it's 'just a job' to them, but when I think how above and beyond I go for kids in my class, I don't think it's too much to ask for a bit of empathy from the medical profession.

Sorry some bastard shouted at you grumpy I'm sure it was completely unjustified! I know what you mean about Botox - have you found a clinic? I want it done just on my frown line between my eyebrows.

So sorry you're still getting pain etc flatwhite 😔 You're completely right about the support for miscarriages - and it's true for infertility too. Even though long term ttc is as stressful as having cancer, counselling was never offered to me by my fertility clinic until I had a miscarriage.

My midwife was the same - she at least called me (for a sixty second chat) but she was so uncaring. If I get pregnant again I'll definitely request a different one

@Flatwhite31 I hear you. I got nothing but some leaflets too and off I went on my way to recover. Nothing from any professional after.

I get that it's 'over and done with' but it's also really not. I was so worried about what was normal and just alone in general trying to piece things back together whilst everyone around me was just a bit - well that's sad, oh well I'll carry on with my life.

I am thankful for the NHS, truly, but Jesus Christ

I completely agree @UnicornsandRainbows1. The care I got in the ward was excellent, but when I was discharged that was it!

My GP said on the day I found out abou my MMC (she rang me the same evening) to call her at the end of this week (she only started back after her holiday today) but I didn't have time because of work, so will ring tomorrow. She's supportive, but I am going to mention to her how abandoned I felt by the midwife.

I'm lucky I have supportive friends and family, but I have nobody medical to speak to about my post ERPC symptoms! Can't get an out of school hours GP appointment for love nor money, so I feel like there's nobody to turn to.

I get that. I'd definitely mention it. Sadly I don't think we're the only ones who seem to have fallen through the net tbh.

I'm not really sure what my midwife was supposed to do afterwards but she never got in contact afterwards (was she supposed to?! ). I was booked in for a 15 week midwife app. which ofc I never went to so I assume that she was informed of what happened as I never got anything asking where I was or anything.

To be fair I text my midwife and she was lovely and cancelled all my appointments for me so I didn't need to deal with that and she gave me advice on painkillers etc via text and what to do when I only just found out (I was alone in Spain when I had the scan). Since then I was given some leaflets by the EPU but that's it.

Flat I've had nothing from midwife or gp. Even more worrying as they know I've just moved area and am on antidepressants. It feels like being abandoned doesn't it.

She maybe didn't have to @UnicornsandRainbows1, but surely out of courtesy she should have?! I know they are busy, but a bit of compassion does no harm. I was involved in a domestic abuse case once (as a teacher) and phoned the mum after a particularly awful day in the case (which involved the police) to check she was ok. I did this on a few occasions. I didn't HAVE to do any of this after my ten hour school day with loads of other things left to do, but I care, so I did it.

BFN on a FRER this morning. 9/10dpo. Slowly losing hope. Starting to panic that I won't be pregnant again by my due date.

I'm the same- i'm lucky (?) That both my mc' s have happened naturally, but both times I've just had a brief phone call with the midwife where i've told them what's happened and they've cancelled my 12 week scan and that's been It, no advice on how long bleeding might last, when to try again, how much it'll hurt or anything. Last time after calling due to some bleeding before the mc happened I was told to go into A&E, so off I went, only to be asked 'why are you here? They shouldn't have sent you here!' And then asked repeatedly whether I was on any recreational drugs. I mean, seriously?! Likewise i'm grateful for the NH but they could have a bit more compassion. I've found a local charity that offers counselling who I've found really helpful, but i should have been pointed in that direction by my GP/midwife, not had to wade through Google on my own!

Grumpy, you're not out yet - my frer was only v faint at 10 dpo.

That's one of the reasons I find this thread so valuable -so we can compare notes on what is normal.

Twins grumpy?

Bfp this week after a chemical in Jan and MMC in April.....terrified but staying as positive as i can....gl all those still waiting xx

Hi everyone! I am now 10 days after my ERPC and just feeling massively in limbo. The bleeding has stopped and I still have some period-like aches but I just want to get trying again and feel like I'm doing something, and 10 days has already felt like about 2 months!

Has everyone been taking the advice to wait until you have your first proper AF being trying? I feel too impatient but wonder if realistically it is the best thing to do. 3 weeks is such a long time to wait to test for the BFN too!

*before trying! not being trying.

and congratulations @Misssmoo that is fantastic news, keep positive!

That's great missmoo, cautious congratulations to you!

Phoebe - I didn't get any advice but from much googling there is no medical reason to wait until after your period- but it does help with dating, which when you've already had a miscarriage can add stress, since when you have scans they won't know if you're measuring behind (unless you know exactly when you ovulated) and sometimes you might be told your behind and made to stress unduly.

Having said all that, I'm 2 weeks 3 days post erpc and I'm trying now... hugs to you

I can relate to this! I had my miscarriage in hospital at 14 weeks. Ive heard nothing from the day I left the hospital 6 weeks ago! Nothing! Even the paperwork they gave me said I'd need a scan 3/4 weeks after.... nothing. I just called them as we're still waiting on genetics results too. Good job I'm coping ok but I do think about those you don't and receive no support :(

That's terrible weaseldee 😔 And I'm so sorry that you miscarried at 14 weeks too. I have a sneaking suspicion that they won't get in touch with us about results either.