TTC after pregnancy loss: We're nervous, we're hopeful, we're checking all the charts and taking all the vits!

[BertieBotts]

Welcome back all and welcome new posters.

Just take your time flat, it does get a little easier as the days pass...
I'm doing my first full day back at work today after miscarriage..... so far so good :)

Wow so many replies, am trying to catch up on it all!

@KerryLeanne84
I agree that announcements & bumps are harder to handle than seeing an actual baby.

I can see where you're coming from when someone has had fertility problems etc, it seems less hard to take.

One of my best friends spent at least 4 heartbreaking years TTC, 2 MMCs and did IVF a few times.

Last summer she conceived again, I worked out that it was must have been when I was going through my long drawn out MMC.

This time last year she had her dating scan and I was delighted for her despite desperately wanting to be pregnant again.

1 year down the line and she has a 6 month old (and trying for number 2- she's 39) and I'm still trying to get off the starting blocks!

Yes Flat, agree it is so unfair. Sadly, as we know, life is inherently unfair. I think our parents bring us up to believe that if we are good to people, and do unto others yada yada, then the universe will be fair to us. But it isn't.

I've emailed work to say won't be in this week - no response - but I flogged myself to death in last job and refuse to put my health at risk again. Am exhausted, bleeding heavily and just need time.

oh, and as I just opened daily mail online was confronted with the news of a 3rd royal baby - just what I needed today. Thanks Kate & William!!!!

@coastalchick I've just seen this too :/ Look after yourself with the time you have off

@KerryLeanne84
I will admit that I was one of those women who had no bloody idea how lucky I was prior to having a MMC during summer 2016.

I had fallen pregnant twice straight after stopping the pill, aged 34 and then 37. First pregnancy resulted in my now 3 year old but second one was the MMC.

We've been TTC for 14 months now, since I got a negative following medical management. I guess we're now at the opposite end of the spectrum compared with before.

That was my biggest fear when I had my MMC- that it would take ages that conceive again- and I managed to stay fairly positive and push it to the back of my mind.

Unfortunately it's become true plus I turned 39 in July so I'm not really holding out much hope any more!

You know you're feeling down when you HATE seeing the story about Royal baby number 3!

Ah and the BBC news flash on my own now tells me that Kate Middleton is expecting baby number 3.

It's awful but all I can think is how unfair it all seems...but who knows maybe they've been TTC ever since number 2 was tiny....

I hate the person that the MMC has turned me into and I don't think I'll ever be the person that I was before

*on my phone!

@Flatwhite31
Oh YES I am totally with you on feeling that way!

yep, I hate feeling jealous and envious of others - doesn't sit well with me but I just can't be pleased for anyone else at the moment. Dreading any more baby announcements from friends. Think we'd all find it easier to conceive if we didn't have a proper job like Kate Middleton. Maybe I'll just push Meghan Markle in front of a car and make Harry fall for me then rest up until there's a ginger bun in the oven

I actually found that my reaction to Kate Middleton's pregnancy now I've miscarried is sympathy, because they always announce so early because of her hyperemesis . It makes me feel really anxious for her.

To be honest, I totally thought it would be Pippa making some announcement at some point soon!

I wondered how Zara Phillips would be feeling, as she miscarried at Christmas last year after making the big announcement a few weeks prior.

It must be painful to hear even though a new baby is always (should be) lovely news.

@TurquoiseDress I thought the same. Poor Zara miscarried late too, so she must be feeling sad.

I know - another baby! Although you're right Lisa, it must be crap having to announce so early. Poor Zara, as if having to go through a MC isn't tough enough, having to announce to the world must be awful.

The person i have an irritaional hatred for just now is Daniella bloody Westbrook. There's a report in the DM today that she might be having twins.

Oh well, hopefully our turn will come soon. AF finished yesterday so time for DTD again!

I mean all of us when i say our turn, not just me - sounds incredibly selfish!

I honestly can't stop crying today. Too many pregnancy announcements. How on earth can I go to work tomorrow in this state?

can you take any time off flat? I feel exactly the same today and just keep crying and googling "conceiving after miscarriage", want to get started but only 2nd day after medical management and still bleeding. Plus in quite a bit of pain.

People (MIL and SIL) want to come round but just want to be by self

I'm going to give tomorrow a go @coastalchick and see how I get on. Thankfully it's an inset day, so no kids. I'll see how I am after this week, and if it's too much I'll get signed off.

I'm SO tired and head-achey which isn't helping. I think it's from the blood loss. I also googled MC and headaches, and they are a common symptom, possibly caused by hormone changes.

just make sure you put yourself first flat and if you need time, take it.

We have all been through the mill and need to be kind to ourselves x

I had at least a week of bad headaches flat after the erpc and emotional craziness - definitely!

Put yourself first flat! I know it's easy to say but you need to x

It's really bad @KerryLeanne84. Paracetamol isn't touching it, so dragging myself out to the local pharmacy to get something stronger. I look so bad considering I've just been on holiday. Huge dark circles under my eyes, blotchy skin etc. Sigh.

Thank you all for coming back to me. A bit of an NHS postcode lottery then really.

Flat I was signed off work for a fortnight afterwards and work were very understanding. Physically I was very weak but I did lose a lot of blood. I think I was in shock emotionally for quite a while and the first day back was very hard.