TTC after pregnancy loss: We're nervous, we're hopeful, we're checking all the charts and taking all the vits!

[BertieBotts]

Welcome back all and welcome new posters.

IM sorry yellow - I was thinking of the people with babies who say that's what happened and don't realise what any kind of fertility struggles are like ❤️

You're completely right Bertie positive thoughts! ⭐️

@BertieBotts You still 100% deserve to have another! At the end of it all we all want the same ending, and any child who doesn't make it is another heartbreak, especially if they are your own.

Positive thinking hats for everyone then, hey? Pass them around Bertie

My first mc happened at home. Dished up a roast for DH & my dad. Reached up into a cupboard for a glass, felt a 'twang' and wetness. Ran to the loo to see blood. I can remember sobbing to DH & my dad sorry dad 🙈 on the loo with my knickers round my ankles 'I knew it was too good to be true'.

Bertie, chuck me a positivity hat please! Leopard print one to match my shoes 😉 off to afternoon tea I go.

Flatwhite, I bled for about 2.5 weeks and got the negative test during that time and then period at just over the 4 week mark. Did a ovulation test this morning which was very negative.... But to be expected really as period just about stopped :)

Just feel like getting pissed right now. Going to get signed off this week as can't face work (bunch of lawyers) and had a horrid meeting (more lawyers) in my diary on Tuesday so will be glad to miss that

But want to crack open red wine now though not sure that's best idea

Thanks @weasledee. That's helpful. X

I'm home now and arrived to a Boots parenting club magazine. I'd completely forgotten I had joined it. I just burst into tears, and now have a massive headache. Sigh.

Oh crap sorry Flatwhite 😔 I immediately deleted my parenting apps but Thankfully hadn't joined or bought anything. Hugs, it's so so shit

It really is @KerryLeanne84. It doesn't help either that there are babies and pregnancies all over Facebook and social media in general.

@Flatwhite31 so sorry and totes get it - think we just notice pregnant bellies etc more after miscarriage. That will be us, SOON x

@Flatwhite I remember having to unsubscribe to everything and then getting emails that you've done it. It's no fun but luckily once it's done, it's done.

I've had to deactivate fb because there's just so many pregnancies and I just can't

@UnicornsandRainbows1 - I came off the old book of face too. People only window dress anyway, and I can't face that right now. Plus, I've learnt through this experience exactly who I can rely on - it's not many but at least there ARE people. But just highlights how the majority (incl FB) are fake

@coastalchick I've found that some people who you thought would be there just aren't (clearly not too busy to share in joy though). There are just too many things on there right now that tick me off so it's probably for the best that I fuck off out of there. I don't have it in me to pretend to be happy instead of screaming right now, sadly

Hi guys I'm 5dpo and just feeling really down. This is cycle 4 post MC and I should have been 26 weeks today

Hi there. Hope you might be able to give a little guidance. We're thinking of ttc after a mmc last year.

Would you expect some kind of reassurance scan before 12 weeks after a previous mmc? My body didn't shoe any signs of Mc for 6 weeks last time and it messed with my head a bit although the outcome was obviously the same whether I'd had an earlier scan or not.

Will be joining you properly in the new year! Good luck

I'm so sorry @TheGrumpySquirrel. I'm on my last day of holiday before school goes back tomorrow, and I don't even want get out of bed. I've never felt this low in my whole life.

Oh Squirrel! I think I know where youre coming from. I would've turned 20 weeks today and I'm so gutted. Please look after yourself today my lovely

Same to you Flatwhite, you stay there, get some tea or whatever and take some time to rest and chill

@missanony I was told by the doctor at the hospital that if I get pregnant again, they'll do a scan at 6 weeks. However, my baby was alive and strong at 6 weeks and died at 9, so that doesn't reassure me much. I'm going to put some money aside for private scans if I'm fortunate enough to get pregnant again.

@missanony Noone's ever mentioned a scan to me, but I'm definitely getting as many private scans as I can. It won't make a difference but like you it took 6 weeks of not having a clue that anything was wrong. I think that was a twist of the knife tbh, so I'll definitely be avoiding that again

Hi all. Just catching up on this thread and sorry to see that so many people have had really difficult weekends.

missanony - really sorry to hear of your loss. I think it might vary by area; I know that in my area you (unfortunately) aren't given an early scan unless you either a) have miscarriage symptoms or b) have had three prior losses. If it's something you're anxious about it might be worth chatting to your GP: they might offer to arrange it and even if they don't it would be better to know in advance rather than getting that disappointing and potentially panicking news once you're already pregnant.

Hugs grumpy squirrel ❤️It's like our lives split off into parallel dimensions isn't it. Sometimes I wonder if there's a happily pregnant version out there!

Missanonoly- your best bet in that situation I think would be to speak to your midwife about how anxious you are and they would definitely try to get you in for a scan. Otherwise, the private scans aren't too expensive - £70 where I am

Thankyou everyone for your nice birthday messages. I had a great day, dusted off my sadness and put on my positive hat! So birthday not pregnant milestone completed and now need to get past due date at end of the month and then onto xmas... there's always something to get past but it seems to be getting slightly easier.

And flat there's lots on here without any children yet, and while i often feel a sense of guilt That i already have 2 children and feel greedy for wanting more when so many of you are struggling for your first, I rely heavily on the support given here so much. I hope you all have happier news very soon.

Just had to turn Lorraine off. Bloody Daniella Westbrook, drug addict, is pregnant. I'm not saying she doesn't deserve it, but how is it that people like us, who do everything right, miscarry, and people who snort coke fall pregnant and carry the baby to full term. It's ludicrous.

MMC in June at 9 weeks and apparently after ERPC we are very fertile! Well not me!! Have tried July and August and AF arrived yesterday again. I know it's only two cycles but I got pregnant first time trying and I can't help but wonder what if it was my one and only chance. I'm 39 on 22nd of this month. 😓

Yes Flat it just isn't fair sometimes. 😓