TTC after pregnancy loss: We're nervous, we're hopeful, we're checking all the charts and taking all the vits!

[BertieBotts]

Welcome back all and welcome new posters.

@coastalchick
So sorry to hear about what's happened

Yes you need to wait til you get a positive test before TTC

We went through this summer 2016 when it was bad news at the dating scan when I was 12+6
No signs or symptoms suggesting the baby had stopped developing.

Had medical management and took at least 3 weeks to get a negative test before we started TTC.
Hopefully you'll get a negative sooner.

I totally understand about the age thing- I turned 39 the other month and I'm now starting to get think it's never going to happen! (14 of TTC post MMC )

We do have a 3 year old who I'm so grateful for, but it's not easy going through all of this.

Take things a day at a time, be kind to yourself

That's awful @Flatwhite31. I had my 12 week scan booked for a few days after I started to miscarry and in a strange way I am glad I didn't get there, as I think having a mmc would add to the heartache? We'd seen a heartbeat at 8week scan (following the previous loss we thought we'd do that to be safe...didn't quite work out that way!)

It is still so early, but what I will say is that time does help (I know that's so cliche!!!) I found focusing on each milestone helped rather than looking too far ahead. So waiting for the pain to go, then the bleeding, then a negative test and so on. In the meantime do little things that make you happy, just to get through another day.

Sorry @Fridgedooropen I can't help there as I've never been prescribed anything. Your GP might be able to help x

Just read what you're going through too @coastalchick. It's just so cruel. The waiting at each stage is horrible! Thinking of you x

Thanks ladies for your comments - obviously would not wish this on anyone else but it does make it easier that others have been through it.

So sorry for all of all of your losses x

So sorry for your losses magpie and coastalchick and justbadluck

flatwhite so sorry you've had such a miserable holiday - but you are allowed to feel the way you do. You shouldn't feel like you have to put a brave face on - your OH will understand. But it's so unfair to have spoiled your holiday.

So, long story short, but I'm no longer pregnant. Just back from ERPC this morning. Went in for an early scan on Thurs as part of a trial, and there was no heartbeat to be found. This is mc 3 this year, so I just feel shattered. I (foolishly) really thought this was our shot. I don't think we'll ttc again until we've been seen by the rc mc clinic, but if it's OK I'd like to hang around still with people who understand what it's like.

We'll today has been a joyous day where I've completely lost it and an emotional sentence (which I won't repeat on here given everyone's situation) came out on my mouth, where I then continued to bawl like a bitch until I ran out of tears and had a nap as requested by my husband, who hugged me for ages whilst I just cried into some stupid mess.

I hate this. I really fucking hate this and I don't know how I'll honestly continue to function like a normal human being ever again, I really don't. I know that sounds very dramatic.

Oh @UnicornsandRainbows1! I feel your pain. We have just sat in a church (neither of us are religious, but we wanted to sit somewhere peaceful) and had a good cry, as it was this time last week that I was lying in a cold anaesthetic room getting ready to be put under to have my baby removed. It's just SO unfair to be one of the 1%. You're allowed to cry, swear etc. It is SHIT. There are no two ways about it. Xxx

@UnicornsandRainbows1 - I totally get it. Shit shit shit shit shit doesn't even cover it.

I totally lost it last night too and started throwing stuff! I wanted to smash the house up.

It is shit. But we are here and you can rant x

Do you think it's sensible to wait to use digital OPK until get negative preg test result after my tablets tomorrow?

Want to crack on. And scared of missing FW

Unicorns I'm so sorry, it really is a horrible time. But it is important you go with your feelings and it needs to happen to allow you to start healing.

One of my very first posts was because I just couldn't pull myself together, and the support on here was overwhelming. Please just know you are me alone

Sorry that meant to say not alone!

Oh and I don't know if i should say this, but my worst episode I was screaming into the arm of the sofa. And that is completely out of character for me. So don't worry, throwing things, screaming, crying... It's all part of it you just have to go with it unfortunately X

Hi,

Apologies for falling off the thread. I was following on and off and have completely lost track of what has been going on.

I did read the guardian article and thought it wonderful - I thought about sharing it here then read a member of the group had written it - well done lisa

I'm so sorry for all recent losses. I think ttc is getting to me now, hence sometimes needing to not post.

I had a really bad uti last week - after bd - I always wee to avoid it. I've never had one before! (Lots of bleeding) Since the abs I haven't felt quite right and then at 4 am this morning I had a bad do. So I sent in a pot to be tested which is apparently clear. I'm 10dpo and I took a test just in case they suggested other abs which might not be good and got the faintest frer line ever.

But I simply can't get excited. I know it's stupidly early. I think I had stronger lines at this stage with my 8 wk preg and with my son (didn't use frers then) I have a big thing at work next week; bang on for a chemical mc - my chemical really hurt so was effectively an early mc. (5 days post af). It's a big talk - won't be able to hide any cramps and can't cancel.

And then I've spent all afternoon cuddling a 9 day old (it's raining babies here!) - I don't feel at all affected by that really might do when I loose this one but I'm getting impatient.

To top it all, my bbt chart matches almost exactly the chart I had with my 8 week pregnancy in feb. Which gets my hopes up. I'm trying to stay level headed - I view all my charts as info for future ones (not always been very good at being consistent). I keep wondering if my follicular phase isn't great (usually 11/12 days).

Stupid test. Serves me right for using a frer, tempting me with its lines!!!

Thank you everyone

@PossibiliTea Thank you for your kind words. I think I recognise your name from a post I made last month and I didn't get the chance to thank you for sharing your experience about everything back then (I was dipping in and out of mn). Also, you have a wonderful username

Hey, so I dropped off the radar a bit. Just read back about 11 pages, and can't remember everything that i wanted to comment on, except welcome everyone new, and so so sorry you all find yourselves here. I've had a god cry to all your stories, particularly emotional week coming up with my birthday (39) and feeling old, and thinking how I should have been pregnant now, twice.

flat mmc is so very cruel. my first was 7 weeks and natural and in many ways easier. the 2nd i saw a heartbeat at a reassurance scan at 7 weeks and felt such relief i'd past that point again and everything looked so normal. Then had another scan at 10 weeks and baby had stopped at 9weeks. It really really sucks.

lisa your article was great, so wonderful written, kudos to you for getting it all out there.

step tentative congrats, i hope you get a sticky one.

tea and tiffin despite not posting often coming back here with that kind of hopeful news warms my heart and makes me believe that despite all the months slipping past i will get there again.

beanhunter despite my user name, i do actually love cats, you should totally get those amazing kitties!

I didn't get to dtd anywhere close this month due to being away camping so this lead up to af is annoying but lacks the usual crazy symptom spotting which I'm grateful for. I'm determined to get back on it next month though with evening primrose oil and ubiquinol as well. (tiffin what were the mixed reviews of using it from cd1, should i wait until after my period?)

elk i understand your worry, it's great to see a line all be it feint. Why don't you wait 24/48 hours and test again? Fingers crossed it'll get a little stronger for you.

Fia, coastal chick, JenCFA, Justbadluck...
(and everyone else, sorry if I missed a name but I've read all your posts and feeling devastated for you x)

I'm so sorry for what you're going through, it's horrendous, just horrendous. I have no wise words I'm afraid but hope you've all got someone supportive close by xx

Can I ask - Anybody who's taking ubiquinol- do you stop if after ovulation? Or after you've had a bfp? I'm unsure what to do. Last time I stopped at ovulation, and then I was pregnant (which of course ended soon after) so not sure what to do this month now we're ttc again. I've actually carried on a few days past ovulation because I'm on autopilot, and forgot I stopped last time! x

Hi impatient thanks for your kind words.

Not sure I'm exactly in a position to offer anyone any advice, but I was taking ubiquinol the month we conceived this time, I stopped when I got a bfp. The best advice seems to be it's not definitely safe in pregnancy, though no evidence it's harmful either. I guess it depends on your philosophy about all those of things you should stop when you're pregnant - if you keep drinking etc in tww. I'm sure a few days after ovulation will be fine! Fingers crossed for you.

impatient I'm planning on taking it up until a bfp. I'm pretty sure that's the advice in the book 'it starts with the egg'.

Thanks jen & nocats, having just skimmed through the book again I think that's right, and I'll carry on til a bfp (If that ever happens again, that is). The research I've read on it is pretty compelling so I hope we're doing something pro active to help ourselves conceive - Fingers crossed for you both when you decide to/are able to ttc again, I know that it may be a bit soon yet & hope you're ok xx

@NoCatsHere my baby's heart stopped just a week later at 9 weeks too, but my body wouldn't let go, which in itself I find desperately sad. It's just awful, and I keep wondering if I did something that caused his/her heart to stop.

I go back to work in 3 days (teacher) and instead of telling people my happy news I'll be crying in the car on the way to school. Im dreading having to face 31 kids when they start back on Wed. I really don't feel ready for it. I'm just heartbroken.

@Flatwhite31 it was nothing you did, or didn't do. It's just one of those shit shit things.
I'm also in childcare, it's bloody hard sometimes. My colleague who's due date was 4 days before my first one is getting ready to go on mat leave, she's getting lots of presents & cards. I had a mini-breakdown yesterday thinking it should've been me too.
On the other hand, there's nothing more distracting than 32 3-5s, so that's something!

Stark white bfn this morning, so I'm now willing AF to make an appearance, it'll be 9 weeks since ERPC on Monday & no sign of her!

Thanks nocats. Still not convinced. And all hell has broken out in my fanjo; apparently not a uti so I think thrush, o joy.

I take ubiquinol - I haven't been sure about what to do; I have generally taken a few days past ov. I the guidance says stop with bfp. Ideally I think you'd take for 2-3 months without ttc to build up the levels.

I was looking up about follicular phase and found a fertility site, with info on ubiquinol. (It's a clinic). They do recommend it as a good idea (I think mostly older women).

http://fertility.ca/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/HFSupplementss_Info.pdf