TTC after pregnancy loss: We're nervous, we're hopeful, we're checking all the charts and taking all the vits!

[BertieBotts]

Welcome back all and welcome new posters.

SO pleased to hear that, fia. Well done you for complaining - was very definitely the right thing to do! Glad you've found a supportive GP and that this has calmed you.

So glad you got a sympathetic response @Fia256. If anyone dares speak to me like that first doctor spoke to you, they'll be sorry!

People on here who have had an ERPC, is it normal to get abdominal pain when peeing? I'm still getting that (and blood on the tissue every time) 6 days in. I expect the blood to be there, but the pain is uncomfortable.

Flatwhite - I didn't get the pain when peeing after more than one or two days after the erpc but I do think there's a big variation I want people experience.

in what people experience

@Flatwhite I'm not sure about pain as such but I remember there being some discomfort. It felt a little weird, but did get better. I put it down to everything being in close proximity of each other, so obviously when you pee, even a little, I guess you're still pushing which puts pressure on other bits. I could be wrong but that's how I worked it out in my head anyway, and to remember that things need to heal and get back to a regular size

@Fia I'm glad that the next doctor was so nice to you and that you'll be looked after now. Hoping that it's onwards and upwards for you now

Fia thank goodness that second doctor was more empathic. Glad you feel supported.

Flatwhite I didn't get pain after peeing specifically, but did have really painful cramps for around a week.

@voxnihili So sorry you're feeling low. I know what you mean about hoping it'll be your month.
It's been 8 weeks now, I did a hpt yesterday, negative.
I'll do one more Saturday & then just hope for AF. Goodness knows why I've had 3/4 solid weeks of cramps.

Did a test this morning with fmu. Completely neg now not even a hint of a line. And had a slight bit of spotting last night. Hopefully the bleeding will start today. Felt really upset last night but I am ok now. Good to know I'll now be tested and see what's going on with me, and I'm just going to throw myself straight back in to it.

I saw once on a post someone had put something really simple but it's stuck with me. She had said with every new day, your one day closer to meeting your rainbow baby. And it's true. Onwards and upwards!

@Fia256, I cannot believe you were treated like that by a doctor. What an unprofessional twat.

We are in a very similar position. I am supposedly 5 weeks today but no pregnancy symptoms whatsoever. By this time with my DD I had hyperemesis and was being sick. Nothing at all with any of my miscarriages. This will also be my 4th miscarriage and I turn 41 on Monday. My anxiety is out of control. I am just about functioning but am struggling to eat and sleep. I burst into tears all the time.

The doctor can do bloods for HCG levels 48 hours apart, but I think the EPU can order them too so maybe give them a call? I had to go back and forth between the doctor and consultant at the hospital but they eventually agreed to do them. I have my second bloods today and results early next week. Not holding out any hope.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Miscarriage and its aftermath is horrendous. It robs you of all joy.

@Flatwhite31, do you think you could get home early? If you just need to be at home it might be worth investigating? It's awful being away from familiar surroundings when that's all you need.

@voxnihili, very sorry you are feeling so low. It's obviously the time for it.

Hugs and a hand hold for everyone that needs it x

Have just realised that I missed an entire last page of posts so the above makes very little sense now. Sorry.

Foxtrot, can you go back to the doctors? That bleeding sounds excessive. They could at least scan you or something? x

I'm so so sorry that's happening to you Flora 😔 It's awful being in limbo and not knowing when you're going to be able to try again. big hug

Hmmm. So 3 weeks post erpc today and this test is still positive right?

It's very very slight @beanhunter. Do you know how long it's supposed to take to get a negative test? X

Oh I'm sorry bean - that must be frustrating ❤️

Last week they told me if still pos at 3 weeks I would be scanned and have bloods. Today is 3 weeks and I've been totally fobbed off. I just want this chapter over.

Ahh I'm sorry you are going through this @StepAwayFromGoogle but don't rule yourself out completely until you know for sure as each pregnancy is different xxx

I have started bleeding now and my frer was fully negative this morning. Yesterday I was very upset but today I feel fine. I'd already accepted it and I'm just relieved to finally be out of limbo. September is a new month and I won't let it knock me down! Hopefully next time it happens it will be 5th time lucky!!

Had an early scan at what should've been 7+3 but it only measured 4mm so they dated me at 6 weeks. I told the sonographer that I was worried because I had been tracking my ovulation and knew when we had sex so knew we must've been further along. Fobbed off with "must've got your dates wrong".

Last weds had very very faint pink when I wiped. Same again sunday. Monday had a bit of blood and told OH to take me to A&E (given BH). He thought i was being neurotic (as I'm a worrier). They said could be start of MC but also might not be. More blood Tues so had scan and they confirmed it had stopped growing just after 6 weeks (even though at early scan we had seen heartbeat).

Devastated.

Had first lot of tablets yesterday pm and going in all day tomorrow for rest. Think major part of shock is I never realised this was what a MC was like.

Just want to get to tomorrow now so we can move on as feel in limbo now.

We've said we want to start trying again straight away (I am 39 in less than 3 weeks so we can't wait). Ordered loads of preg tests, digital ovulation kit etc so that we can monitor.

Should we wait until prg test shows negative first? (at moment it's still a strong positive - bastarding cruel).

But how the hell do you prepare yourself for this possibility again?? We got pregnant first go - knew it was too good to be true!!!!

Hi @coastalchick, so sorry to hear your news. I turned up at my 12 week scan last week only to find that baby had died at 9 weeks, despite the fact that I had a healthy 8 week scan where growth and heartbeat were on track. Words can't describe the shock, upset etc. I understand everything you are feeling right now - the injustice, grief, the 'should have beens' etc.

I have been told that you need to wait until you get a negative pregnancy test, so that all of the hormone is out of your system. Mine will take a bit longer, as I reached 12 weeks and had no MC symptoms, so my preg hormone levels were still high. I was also told no sex for at least 2 weeks due to infection risk. It's all so depressing . Like you, though, we will be getting back on it asap as I'm also in my 30s and can't afford to wait around. I also have no kids, so have no idea if I can even carry a healthy pregnancy now, which worries me enormously.

So so sorry you have to know this pain coastal chick. It really is just horrendous, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. The irony of getting a positive still when it's all you wanted before and now you actually want to see a negative is just crazy.

Take things slow and give yourself time to grieve, though it is helping me to be thinking about trying again too.

That's interesting Flatwhite about the sex- I was just told no sex until after the bleeding has stopped and mine now has (I think) after just over a week since the erpc, so we'd planned to possibly have sex this weekend. I don't think there's any chance I'm ovulating but we just need to feel close to each other right now.

@Flatwhite31 - so sorry for your loss - how awful. I think it must be even worse to find out at 12 week scan - so sorry x

I am same in that no kids so worrying massively about whether I can carry to full term. And it's frustrating that we can't just start trying like now. I don't want to have another period before conceiving again - just want to conceive.

But who knows if we can?!

And don't think either of us could face going through this again

@KerryLeanne84 - so sorry for your loss too. x

Yes, the irony of wanting a BFP and now wishing for a negative!!!!!

I was told no sex until bleeding stopped and barrier contraception until negative test. I actually don't want sex at the moment. I'm hating my body and need to wait for test to be negative. Using contraception after 3 years ttc feels like too much of a backwards step.

Hello, wonder if I could get opinions please?

I'm 43, ttc DC2, have had one early MC (5 weeks) and one chemical. After those I was referred for investigation which didn't turn anything up, but I persuaded the doctor to prescribe me progesterone for any future pregnancy. Since then a year has gone by with nothing and my cycle has shortened to most often 26 days rather than 28 (have always been regular). I was due AF this week, but got to 26 and then 28 days, no sign. Didn't have any tests in, so I started using the progesterone on day 28 'just in case'. It's now day 31, still no AF, but I tested with a FRER this morning and got a negative. So it's not looking good but should I continue with the progesterone if the absence of AF 'just in case' or not? Would be grateful for any advice.

Sorry fia and others currently going through losses.

I've been watching this thread for a while and wanted to thank you ladies...without knowing it you have kept me sane! Hope you don't mind me joining!

I miscarried at 6 weeks in Feb and at 11+ in July. As my name states...apparently it's "just bad luck" or so I'm told (very helpful)! We're trying again now (and in the tww, but not having much hope as I think all hope seems to have vanished!)

I read somewhere that miscarriage is a time thief...I absolutely agree! We've got one little boy who's 3 (nearly 4) so he's made this all a little easier.

Thinking about you all and hate seeing how many of us are going through this! It's just so cruel xxx

Welcome @JustBadLuck. Your username is so true. I'm childless, 31 and found out at 12 week scan that I'd had a symptom free MMC. Had ERPC a week ago. Am completely broken still.