TTC after pregnancy loss: We're nervous, we're hopeful, we're checking all the charts and taking all the vits!

[BertieBotts]

Welcome back all and welcome new posters.

Oh fia I'm sorry - I completely understand why you're panicking, and I know how horrible that feels. I don't want to get your hopes up because I can understand wanting to prepare for a bad outcome, but it has only been 48 hours since the first test, so that really isn't much time for it to darken. If you possibly can I think you should wait until Friday before taking another test - taking them so close together (again, I have completely been there and understand the urge!) means you're reading a lot into very unreliable information. and hoping for a good outcome for you

Thanks both.

My only hope I have is that this morning I got a "pregnant 1-2" on clearblue and also a clear bfp on the frer. (They are all much clearer than in the pics also)

Then the frer and Superdrug I took this afternoon - frer was taken about an hour after going to the loo, and in that hour I'd had two fizzy drinks and a meal out so small chance it could have diluted it.

Then the Superdrug that looked negative id literally panicked and taken 10 mins after going to the loo doing the first response.

But I've decided now, no more testing. If there's no bleeding in the next 3/4 days I'll retest. It's just so hard to keep your hopes up when we've all had them dashed in the past isn't it xxx

I'll also add the bottom one in the pic, that looks negative and taken this afternoon, actually has a clear pink line. It's just lighter than the others. Will see if I can take a better pic of that one. Bloody hate not knowing

As I say, still very light and still doesn't look as clear in the pic but this is the "negative frer" from this afternoon...

Absolutely it is fia. I've promised myself no more repeated testing if/when I next get pregnant - like you, I was taking multiple tests a day with my last one and it really doesn't do any good. But so much easier said than done!

..

I will second the waiting to test further. Not to worry you of course! But it'll then give everything a bit more time to double up and then you might get clearer results. If you need to just get everything out on here day by day then we're all here for you

I haven't been on much as have been away for a couple of weeks - I can only log on from my laptop as I've forgotten my password and the email it is registered to! Might need to set up a new account.

Sorry to hear that several people seem to be having a hard time. I struggled a bit on holiday - it seemed that every second person at our hotel was pregnant (and moaning loudly about it).

I really hoped we'd be lucky on holiday - fertile week was right in the middle of it. I had some cramps at approx. 6DPO and was convinced that it was implantation cramps (had them at 6DPO last time as well). Been testing since yesterday but nothing, although I think I'm only 11DPO so maybe a little early. I was convinced I was pregnant earlier as I went to drink my coffee and it tasted disgusting. Taste was the first thing I noticed last time. I also have mouth ulcers which I got last time - I can't remember if they were before or after the BFP but I remember reading all the packaging to Bonjela to see if I could use it.

I don't remember any other symptoms from last time as it was so unexpected - we'd had the worst unromantic 'quick I've had a positive OPK' sex (just the once) and I then had huge stress so wasn't even thinking about it. Other symptoms I've had this week are tiredness and a general sniffly feeling.

As today has gone on though I'm starting to feel more and more like AF is on it's way - the mild cramps are almost constant :(.

Fia - it could be that your urine was more diluted. I'm not sure about pregnancy tests but I had to change the time of day I tested for my OPKs when I was on holiday as I was drinking so much water through the day it wasn't picking up anything by mid-afternoon.

Fia I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you, I'm in the same boat trying to wait to test tomorrow as my first one was very light and I'm 3 days late x

Fingers crossed for you both Fia and PossibiliTea ❤️

I'm now breaking out in spots, which I'm guessing is hormonal. Just what I need when I feel so low already.

@Fia256 I posted on your other thread. Really hope the tests start to get darker. Fx for you too @PossibiliTea

@MissMagpie so sorry for your loss

Update from me: 6 consecutive days of positive OPK have confused me a lot. I normally get 1.5-2days of surge. I wonder if the Italian ones were over sensitive? But they were definitely positive! We DTD every day including travel day and since we got home from holiday . I'm guessing ovulation was either yesterday or Tuesday going by ov pain, cervix, CM and the fact that the OPKs finally turned negative yesterday. Anyone else had a really long surge?

Need a break from shagging now. Hope we have kept it up long enough!

Oh and I have loads of spots on my chin! Never get bad skin until just before af normally. Hormones gone wild this cycle it seems

With each day that passes I'm just getting sadder and sadder. I don't know what to do. My poor DH doesn't know what to do with me, and I feel like I'm spoiling his holiday, as I've spent quite a bit of it in tears.

Flatwhite - I miscarried on holiday too (may half term). I found it awful as we had really been looking forward to things to do and sitting in our tent all day wasn't really an option. It is also horrible being away from home when all you want to do is curl up on the sofa. I'm not sure what your travel arrangements are but I found the journey home really difficult - I was in pain from sitting so long, and it was a lot of time to sit and stare out of the window and just think. I too was worried that I'd ruined DP's holiday but he didn't think like that. It wasn't me that had ruined the holiday, it was the situation we found ourselves in.

I have the back to school dread too, not least because I had a bit of a drunken meltdown on the last day of term having kept it all to myself. It was fairly contained and although a few people saw me upset, only a couple then found out why. I'm dreading facing those people though.

I'm feeling quite low today. I really hoped this month we'd be lucky and can't help feeling if I can't get pregnant on holiday (this is the second time that fertile week has fallen in the middle of our holiday) then I have no hope when I'm back at school.

So this morning I have just had the worst experience at the Drs. I'm still sobbing now and once I've calmed down I'll be ringing to complain.

Went in told him I've just found out I'm pregnant but my tests keep changing from positive to negative and back again. I said I was worried and the fact I've had 3 miscarriages before this in a row adds to that anxiety. I said I was wanting to have bloods taken so I could at least know for sure what's going on and also if it is ok to be referred for an early scan.

His response was "what good do you think having bloods will do" he said it won't give me a confirmation on anything and I'll just have to keep having further tests afterwards and it will only add to my anxiety. I said the reason I've come here is because I feel anxious or knowing and I know that will help either way. But no he point blank refused saying it won't help.

Then he proceeded to ask me who had told me I could have an early scan and again, what good do I think that would achieve. I said I was given one last time as reassurance and then told when I lost my little boy I would be closely monitored. He basically then said again that will only add to my anxiety.

THEN he said to me that even if I do loose this baby (which will make it miscarriage number 4 in a row) because I've had two healthy children in my first two pregnancies, he highly doubts there's anything wrong with me and it's bad luck.

So as you can imagine by this point I was sat crying my eyes out to him. Then just to kick me when I'm down he asked me what happened with my last miscarriage being a late one. So then I completely broke down. I'm so upset and angry

I'm so sorry Fia that sounds awful. Definitely complain, that's is no way to treat anyone let alone someone with 3 consecutive miscarriages. It's hardly surprising your anxious, the Drs should be doing all they can to help. Is there another GP you can see? Or maybe call the EPU directly? Have you been sent to a RMC?

Finally stopped crying and rang the surgery. There wasn't a manager in but the receptionist was lovely and wrote down everything I said to her about what had just happened. She is arranging for another Dr to ring me back at some point today. Even if she says the same things to me, just a bit of understanding and empathy would make everything so much more different. It's made me so angry. I literally never go to the drs unless it's urgent or something serious so I'm never a time waster yet that's exactly how he's made me feel each time I've seen him

I'm so sorry you had such an awful experience, fia, but glad you complained. It's not up to him to decide whether or not he thinks there's anything wrong (which he is not qualified to do!) - the guidelines are that you are referred for RM investigations after three consecutive losses and that's what they should do. It's also not up to him to decide what will or won't make you anxious, and I think the decision about scans is up to EPU, so would definitely contact them directly if the other GP doesn't offer more help. Again, so sorry that you've been treated so poorly.

Well isn't he a grade A wanker? I'm sure only you will know what will make you more or less anxious. I don't see how bloodwork won't at least show a rising in levels at the very least, surely that's what it would be used for. At least you'd know where you stood.

I'm glad the receptionist took you seriously and is getting in touch with someone else. Hopefully they'll treat you like you deserve to be treated

Fia that's awful! What an insensitive twat. And of course bloods would be more reassuring than a test especially if you can get 2x 48h apart. Make sure next time you go to that surgery you request not to see him again.

So sorry to hear that @Fia256, that's awful. Well done on complaining. I hope you get a more sympathetic phone call later today.

@voxnihili teaching and TTC is difficult isn't it, never mind after a miscarriage. I'm absolutely dreading it all. The thought of work is making me burst into tears regularly. I'm in Italy on holiday but not enjoying it any more and just want to be at home.

Update. Dr phoned and was super sensitive with how she worded everything and I now feel extremely supported regardless of which way this pregnancy goes

I'm to wait to test until Monday. If it's negative or still light, I can go in and have my bloods done to check the levels. If it's positive, she will then sort out getting a 6 week scan in place.

If I start bleeding before Monday, to ring and leave her a message and she will ring me back as soon as she gets it. She will then refer me to a specialist to start investigations as to why it keeps happening.

So while I didn't get bloods today, I do feel much better. I know either way I'll have the support we need which is a huge help