TTC after pregnancy loss: We're nervous, we're hopeful, we're checking all the charts and taking all the vits!

[BertieBotts]

Welcome back all and welcome new posters.

Thought I had a bunch of pregnancy symptoms and really thought this was going to be my month; just did a test and BFN. So so gutted.
It's been a year now since we started ttc and 2 mcs later I'm still right back where I started. Maybe it's just not meant to be for me. Think I'll try to get appt with gp to see if there's any tests they can do, but suspect that, even though I'm 35, since I already have a dc and can get pg, even though I can't keep it, they'll just send me packing for a other 3-6months. Because I've only had 2 mcs I don't think I'll be able to get rmc tests done either. Feel like I'm stuck between 2 stools. Trying to save up to go privately but I'm guessing I'll still need a referral from gp?
Sorry for such a whiny post, I know a lot of you are going through worse at the moment, I'm just so frustrated and upset.

@BertieBotts and @hotcookie I'm going to go to a pharmacy today. I can't put up with this any more! Had a fairly large gush of blood this morning and am getting sharp abdominal pains too. Wishing I was at home today .

@ThoughtAboutThisTooMuch don't apologise at all, you have every right to be upset. I find a sympathetic GP makes a huge difference if you know of one at your practice. If not, a private referral may be the way forward to get you some answers.

Thought, the RMC at Coventry will see you after two miscarriages if you can get the doctor to refer you? Just a thought because then you can get the tests done on the NHS. They will take referrals from anywhere across the country.

SJ, hope the scan goes well today. Hand hold.

Flatwhite, that sounds awful. Hope you get some help today.

I'm 35 & two mcs down, neither the hospital doctors or my GP would refer me anywhere.
It's so frustrating isn't it?

Sorry about your BFN

SJ hope alls ok 🍀

@ThoughtAboutThisTooMuch - me too. I'm sorry it wasn't your month either.
Tested yesterday. 11 dpo. Used the cheapie strips, but the 10mlU ones. BFN. Think that's pretty decisive. I'm actually totally gutted. All the previous months I felt were kind of understandable in some way - the miscarriage hadn't completely finished; my cycles weren't back to normal; we hadn't done BD enough/at the right time. This month...we had everything 'right', and it's still nothing. Feeling exhausted and demoralised all over again. x

Step thanks, i didn't realise anywhere would take someone with less than 3mcs. I've got a gp appointment for next week so will push for a referral then.

Rachel I'm so sorry for you too. Also in the same boat in that there was always reasons the other months but I did the temping and opk things and it seemed like everything was 'right' this month.
I don't mean to give you any false hope, and sorry if this is inappropriate, I'm sure you would know much better than me, but I do think that it's still possible to be under the level a pg test would pick up at 11dpo. Think it all depends on where your hcg level starts from. As I said though, I'm sure you would know better than me.

Sj I really hope you're ok x & flatwhite so sorry what you're going through x

I'm currently just busy torturing myself with "all the things I may have done/not done that mean I may not have conceived or (worse) may have done to cause me to MC again (if I have actually conceived this cycle.)"

EG, we are on holiday and last night we used the spa pool (not to dtd, just to relax!) and today I'm horrified googling to see if the chlorine could have somehow affected the chance of conception or damaged something somehow, because I feel like (tmi, sorry) some water got inside (we didn't wear costumes, it's in our apartment.) I'm feeling enraged at myself that I could have risked something we're trying so hard for even though it sounds ridiculous. And I know it's probably ridiculous, I know if there's a little egg busy being fertilised in there it's tucked away inside and not going to get washed sea by a bit of chlorinated hot tub water. We were just trying to relax after a crap few weeks, and a tiring few days of dtd, and I've spoiled it now with my worry!

I was the same when I MC, running over similar things (the crate of milk that I carried even though too heavy, the G&T I had before I knew...)

I'm angry with myself for thinking this way, I'm not even pregnant yet, but I don't think I'll ever relax again.

Does everyone else torture themselves like this?

(NB just to be clear I am definitely not suggesting anyone here caused or had any control over their MCs, it's just my paranoid fear.)

Bless you ImpatientMummy36! I'm 💯 % sure water can't get up there in any normal circumstances (bar a high pressure hose!). But I do know exactly what you mean. I went to the hairdressers and had my roots touched up on the day the baby stopped growing so of course I feel bad about that.

Thought & Rachel - I'm so sorry this wasn't your month. ❤️

Looks like I'm making an appointment with the GP tomorrow as ever since my 'period' there just seems to be break through bleeds, then it's okay, and then it happens again with rather mild cramping. God I'm just so tired of this. All I want is to get back to normal so we can ttc properly rather than everything being all over the place.

@SJ Just caught up. I hope everything is okay

Oh no unicorns 🦄 I'm sorry things haven't settled down. How long has it been since the mc?

beanhunter, I'm so sorry about your cat. Just the most awful timing.

hotcookie, keeping everything crossed for you.

Thought and Rachel, sorry if it's not your month but fingers crossed the teats were just a bit too early.

Flatwhite, Hope you got something to help.

Impatient, nothing you have done will affect your chances. Enjoy your naked spa pool i say!!

I'm on day 3 of AF but thankfully camping this month is nowhere near as bad as the previous couple have been. I took the plunge today and contacted the IVF clinic. They're going to check if our tests from last year will still be ok or if we need to redo (seriously hope not as it's all so expensive). I'm going home to basically tell DH we need to try this once as i can't take it anymore. I can't help but think the longer we leave it the less chance we have. Wish me luck!!

@KerryLeanne84 Had a d&c on the 19th July. Bleed til around the 4th or So. All was fine, started AF (pretty light but there we go), stopped after 5 days and 5-6 days later had some on-off spotting/breakthrough. I'm supposedly CD13 but I'm not holding out much luck of anything happening right now :/

I'm sorry that's happening unicorns. It's all just so unfair isn't it ❤️ Hope your gp can be of some help

Thanks Kerryanne, definitely no hose involved, promise!

It's such an awful thing isn't it, even though you know in reality the hair colouring/heavy lifting/whatever didn't cause it, there's an almost superstitious feeling that it might have. Suppose it's a normal response to the unthinkable happening, it really takes the rug from under you. Hope you're doing ok x

Swimchick thanks, I know you're right! Have talked myself down now I think. Good luck with your discussions re IVF, I hope you manage to agree on a plan x

Hi I am so sorry to hop back on here as I don't say much. Firstly just want to say thank you for this thread it keeps me going sometimes!

Yesterday I had a faint positive so I tested again today and it was even fainter... I don't know what to do other than just wait it out and see? How long should I leave it until I test again to make sure?

This would be the second day of my missed period now so really worried :( MMC in march this year and the line I had on the first day of my missed period was quite strong.

Sorry PossibiliTea is this a new potential pregnancy or are you waiting for a negative following a miscarriage? I have such a terrible memory But please don't worry about not posting often, it doesn't matter at all!

I think for a new pregnancy when it's very faint it's normal for it to be varying in strength rather than always having a lovely progression like you see on TTC sites often. But hand hold! Hopefully it's not a chemical. I'd try and wait 48 hours.

Sorry this is a new pregnancy, it did take me a long time but I got a bfn after MMC eventually a few months ago now.

I think everything is a bit more worrying now as was said earlier in the thread...I'll test tomorrow and see. Thank you for your response, appreciate the hand hold.

How is everyone getting on? X

I know I'm not the most prolific poster on here any more as I've found the last 6 months ttc incredibly hard. However, I'm really happy to say that I just got a bfp. I'd tested a few days ago and got bfns so I thought this month was over, but seemingly not. It's been long enough ttc after my mmc that I'm currently just very happy that I've managed to get pregnant again.

Things I did differently this month were: taking agnus castus and evening primrose oil every day from cd1 to ovulation (although I read mixed things about whether you should take it during your period). I've also been seeing a chiropractor for a couple of months, my pelvis was very wonky and this was the first month she'd actually got level.

Thank you all for being there for me over the last 6 months. I really hope you all have successful pregnancies soon. In the nicest possible way, fingers crossed this one sticks and I don't need to come back here!

Sorry you're going through this worry, possibilitea - hopefully you'll get a more reassuring result tomorrow.

Did you manage to get a gp appointment, unicorns?

Congratulations, Tiffin!

Feeling quite sad today. I was supposed to have my second uterine biopsy at Conventry this month but the only day they could do I have a huge, huge event at work that I just can't miss, so they said I'd have to come next cycle. I know it's only one more month but I feel like I just can't bear it. It means it'll be November before we can TTC again. I hate feeling all this time pass in which we're not even trying - and who knows how long it'll take me to get pregnant again when we do try. I'm also properly freaking out about the fact I'm on a fixed term contract that ends in March 2019. When we started trying I thought I'd have time to get pregnant, go on mat leave and be back and look for another job. Now if I did get pregnant I'd have to find a new job while pregnant or while on leave. I sort of know we're being financially irresponsible, but how can we delay trying now? I had three miscarriages aged 29, getting a few years older is going to do nothing to help. And how could I cope emotionally with giving up, even if only for a year or so? I feel panicked and trapped!

Sorry guys. I did have my appointment. They basically said that it's more than likely that everything is just all over the place and that I should get my regular cycle back soon. Still getting pretty negative OPKs though so I guess I'll just sit back and hope for the best soon. Why with this prolonged bullshit?

Congratulations @Doublechocolatetiffin (love your username!). That gives us hope, as do all the BFP stories on here.

My stomach is FINALLY improving (good old peppermint tea!). I'm so emotional today though, as it was a week ago that we found out. I'm also a bit resentful that I can't go in our gorgeous hotel pool, but I'm not risking it. I just hate feeling so sad .

Big as hugs to you @flatwhite31 ❤️ I feel the same but hope you're enjoying your time away at least a bit

So my test is almost negative so that's reassuring. Also my daughter in holiday club this am so as distraction Just seen the most beautiful pair of young cats. Brother and sister. Both quite timid but girl more so. They are 6 months and can't be separated. husband reluctant....

Bean - do itttttt! He will come on board once they're climbing all over him!

Lisa - that sucks! I say try try try, you still get some maternity if you're not employed and people get by with kids on one wage.

Gratuitous photo. I need happy.