TTC after pregnancy loss: We're nervous, we're hopeful, we're checking all the charts and taking all the vits!

[BertieBotts]

Welcome back all and welcome new posters.

Wide awake at nearly 3am here, yet I feel so tired.

@LisaSimpsonsbff I worry about my age. I'm 32 in October, and sometimes I wonder if the miscarriage happened because my egg wasn't good enough.

Horrid day. One of my cats got hit by a car and had to be put to sleep. I sobbed all night. Think it bought everything home. Why has so much crap happened to my little family in the last 2 weeks?

Beanhunter, that's terrible. I'm so sorry. Sometimes it does feel too much doesn't it?! Things will get better. They have to! That's what keeps me going anyway.

I felt exactly like this when after everything I went through with surgery etc I was left with cysts in each ovary. "Come on universe, give me a break!"

I also remember saying "it can't get any worse" after I found out twin 1 had died. My sister said "don't say that! It could be worse" and sure enough things did get worse a few days later.

Fast forward a couple of months and I got a bfp again on the same day as a tax refund! You couldn't make it up!

Oh @beanhunter life is so cruel, and there's just no rhyme or reason to it. I'm so sorry about your cat. Sending big hugs.

One thing that I've begun to realise is the lack of support for miscarriage. I phoned the midwife repeatedly but got no answer, so left a voicemail. I then text and got a reply saying she was sorry to hear my news, but that was it. I know the NHS is stretched, but even just one appointment to talk things over, ask questions etc would have been nice, rather than just a text. I'm going to be doing this with my GP next week, but only because I arranged to.

Yep. Seriously we moved areas 4 weeks ago, 10 weeks pregnant and excited. Now had mmc and lost a cat. Sucks.

Oh bean I'm so sorry about your cat. It's so unfair, on top of everything else.

Flatwhite I hope you can use the holiday to get some rest and space to grieve.

I've had 3 consecutive days of positive OPK before I ran out. So the last one was yesterday morning- I'm assuming ov is today. Yesterday would be even better but who knows. We have DTD every single day for last 5 days so really hope this cycle works. Will try to continue to DTD tomorrow and Wednesday but we are flying home this afternoon so work, stress etc will probably get in the way.

FF seems to assume ov is day after your first positive OPK. I think the science would suggests it's the day after the last one?

Will do an IC OPK tonight when I get home to check I'm not still surging!

On the plus side my pregnancy test is fainter so will hopefully be negative soon.

No beanhunter- I'm SO sorry. I know how much that fucking sucks, but on top of having a mmc too, just horrendous.

We've lost four healthy young cats in the past four years (seems downright careless I know) and two were hit by cars on our street where tons of other outdoor cats live without a problem. It is so awful because it's really losing a member of your family. I'm so sorry. ❤️

Not being able to sleep though you need to is rubbish flatwhite - I know it seems like you need to find a reason for what happened but so many women have healthy babies at 30/32/35 even into their 40s. I'm sure there was nothing wrong with your egg - a perfectly good egg and perfectly good sperm can meet and the dividing of cells just goes a bit wrong and the result is a miscarriage.

That said, there are things you can do to improve your egg quality. If anyone wants me to post the jist of 'it starts with the egg' here I will do.

But a miscarriage is still highly likely to be a one off thing (so sorry to the ladies on here who've had more than one). ❤️

Thank you @KerryLeanne84.

I'm not bleeding much now, but I'm having toilet trouble (TMI alert!). When I wee, I get abdominal pain, and when I attempt to move my bowels (very difficult as I'm SO constipated which I think must be from the anaesthetic?) there is blood in the toilet bowl. Getting a little worried as obviously I'm abroad and not home til Sunday.

So sorry to hear that - can you get ahold of any prunes or similar? I think dodgy bowels are normal, I've had several days of very loose stools and a very delightful itching down there in my lady garden. A week later, both have mostly subsided.

Hi everyone - been on holiday for the last two weeks and tried to stay offline for most of it.
Welcome to all the new members - sorry you are here but I hope you're finding some support, I know I have!
Should be 6+2 today and have been spotting very light & brown since Sunday- spotting is starting to turn more reddy brown today though so I'm so so worried and to be honest not holding out much hope :(
Just seems so unfair to lose another baby. I've called the hospital and EPU are going to see me tomorrow. Dreading it the last scan I had I saw my daughters heart stop beating on the screen before my csection when she died. Just started back to work today as well so no idea what I'm going to be able to use as an excuse to get out for my appointment tomorrow. Xx

@flatwhite I had those same problems after my csection - nurses gave me lactulaose which worked wonders and said to try and pee often so you bladder doesn't get too full because the pressure of lots of pee can hurt going past when the uterus has been irritated. Hope it eases up soon & you've got some good pain relief xx

@beanhunter I'm so sorry. It is too unfair. And I agree with whoever said it's like losing a part of your family.

@Sj please accept a hug - and lots of hope that it's not what you think and you get some good news. I can't imagine how hard it is for you.

@flatwhite so sorry you're having to deal with this on your holiday (or at all). If it gets any worse I would see a doctor if you can. I'm sure it's fine, in the horrible circumstances, but for reassurance if nothing else. Could you perhaps call one of those online private GP services back in the U.K. - or even get a phone appt with your normal GP for some advice?

@Bertie, was it you asking about Impatient Woman's Guide? I've read it and found it helpful, but was right at the beginning of ttc - and so you might find you know all of the stuff in it already. From memory, there are some good reassuring bits about age and when it really starts to make a difference ( a lot later than you think) and a riposte to unhelpful idiots who tell you 'just to relax' and that trying to hard is counterproductive. I hate those people.

Hope everyone else is doing Ok, and congrats to any bfps I've missed - really struggle to keep up with the thread!

Trying to delete the old thread I was on. The ladies are lovely, but the complaining about their symptoms is a slap in the face. They don't realise how lucky they are to be having them! How do you get rid of a thread you are in? I've tried clicking unwatch, but it died by work.

Died by? That should say doesn't!

SJ so sorry to hear you're going through such a worrying time. Fingers crossed for the scan tomorrow; I hope it goes well for you.

SJ that must be so so worrying. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Will be sending you good thoughts

SJ we will all be thinking of you tomorrow. I really hope everything is ok.

Flatwhite try the hide button at the top.

Do go to foreign hospital or walk in if you're worried or ask at a pharmacist? People often speak English, but just in case, download Google translate app on your hotel wifi and then the language pack for offline use for wherever you are and then when you get to the place if you have no luck you can type a sentence in English and make Google translate it for you. Word things as simply and basically as you can for best results.

@SJ88 really hope all is ok, sorry it's so stressful and crap!

I'm home from holiday and my IC OPK is a blazing positive. I'm so confused. Do you think maybe the Italian ones were a different sensitivity? This is now the fourth day in a row I've had a positive and I'm not sure we can keep it up the dtd, although we managed it early this morning before our flight. Really going to try to do it tomorrow as well but DH is already stressing about work so not very hopeful.

@SJ88 thinking of you xx

I'm so sorry SJ - I hope it isn't what you think. Good luck with the scan today.

Grumpy - that is odd but you can only do what you can do. I'm sure some swimmers are ready and waiting so try not to stress too much.

SJ I hope the scan goes OK today-fingers are crossed for you
beanhunter I am so sorry about your cat-it's awful-I had to let mine go 2 weeks after my ERPC (chronic condition, he just got worse)and it was NOT a good time, although it seemed to be almost more acceptable to mourn him than the baby
flatwhite See a pharmacist or Dr there if you need to, I think your GP here can't advise you if not in the UK (may be wrong) I hope you can sleep and the holiday allows you to heal slightly

I am 7+2 and was super nauseous and sick at the weekend in the mornings, but don't feel too bad today, and my boobs are not as sore. Slightly worried, not sure if it's worth calling the midwife, as fingers crossed no bleeding, just mild cramps (which I have had on and off, but pretty much on)

I really want to book a scan for the weekend, but my husband is very against it... I feel it will reassure if all ok, but I'm not sure what we would do if it wasn't. I also find myself thinking that it's £100 which is almost a weeks pay on SMP. He just doesn't want to think about things not being OK, and gets upset if I say I'm worried about less sickness etc. I'm coming from a medical viewpoint though, and I think (know) that sometimes a little knowledge is a dangerous thing!