TTC after pregnancy loss: We're nervous, we're hopeful, we're checking all the charts and taking all the vits!

[BertieBotts]

Welcome back all and welcome new posters.

Thinking of you Flatwhite....

Hello, can I join in please? I'm 32, Dd is 15 months, and I had a mc before her, and a mmc at 7 weeks a few months ago. That pregnancy was unplanned but we now feel ready to give it another go. I'll just go back and read through to catch up with you all.

May have just ordered from amazon (and some more cheapie preg tests so I can hopefully see a negative soon - oh the irony).

And hugs flat - the ongoing sickness when you know it's over is awful. My nausea was better immediately by I didn't stop vomiting for another 5 days but I know others who got better instantly. Ask them for some antisickness drugs - you can have them as an injection, they really help.

@beanhunter I remember saying how ironic it was last month. You want nothing more than a negative so you can start over but it's actually the last thing you thought you'd ever say too. I hope they arrive quickly and you'll be put out of your misery somewhat.

@Flatwhite Hang in there!

Yep unicorns - crying over a positive test was a little odd.

@beanhunter It makes sense There's a lot of raw emotions there and it's just a reminder that you don't really need right now.

Flatwhite - how are you doing? I hope you're all done and home by now 🤞🏼

Hi everyone. Thank you @KerryLeanne84, am just on the ward. Will hopefully get home in the next hour. Tired, bleeding and a bit cramp-y, but otherwise ok. Xx

Glad you're ok FlatWhite, what a long at though. Take care of yourself

So rubbish you had to wait so long @flatwhite31, fingers crossed they let you go home tonight xxx

Flatwhite today must have been so hard for you, hope you get home soon xx

Flatwhite hope you can get home soon

Hi ladies, thank you so much for your messages. They have really helped. I'm home now. Had some quite heavy bleeding so was discharged a bit later than planned, but it seems to have slowed down a bit. No clots, so that's good. Have got some painkillers for the cramps. Can't wait for a sleep in my own bed. Xxx

@Flatwhite I'm glad you're out of there finally. Rest as much as you can in that comfy bed of yours and take it easy

Flatwhite glad you're back home. Look after yourself.

Flatwhite Hope you're okay today - do you have anyone with you? Hot water bottles and drinking lots of water helped me the next day xxx

Hope you're doing ok today flatwhite and you're able to rest up a bit.
I found the counselling yesterday really useful. Two things they said that have stayed with me - underneath all the hurt and sadness you are still yourself, despite how much it may have changed you, and we can't change the past or the future, but we can change the way we think about them.
Hope everyone has lovely bank holiday weekends planned.

Thinking of you flatwhite xx

Thinking of you flatwhite

Thank you so much everyone. Physically I feel much better than I thought I would. I had excruciating pain going for a wee last night, but thankfully that seems to have been a one off. Am bleeding, but it's light. Emotionally, I'm tearful today. It's the sense of finality that I'm finding overwhelming. We (perhaps naively) had all of next year planned out, and I resent the fact (and you'll all get this) that any pregnancy from now on (if we are lucky enough to conceive again) will be fraught with anxiety.

There's such a range of emotions to go through flatwhite isn't there? We'd planned so much for next year too which somehow made it all worse knowing that none of that would happen anymore. I got through those first dark days but watching back to back chick lits and eating chocolate. Sending hugs to you xx

Flatwhite, so sorry to read what you've been going through. I found out 1.5 weeks ago that we'd lost our baby at 8 weeks (I'd now be 10) and following two attempts at medical management I'm booked in for surgery on Tuesday. My pregnancy symptoms are also still very much here and the pregnancy is in the same location. I'm scared of going down the surgical route because of my history but I'll simply have to deal with it.

Ladies, thank you so much for all your kind words and comments last weekend (I think that's when I joined). This week has been a bit of a blur but I've managed to get an appointment with a professor who holds a clinic at the EPAU every week. I've also started the referral process to see Prof Quenby and am revisiting some of our past results to check them against current research. It's like a full-time job but it's (strangely?) keeping me sane while I'm going through this long and drawn out miscarriage.

Also seeing a counsellor through Sands Lothian starting in two weeks so feel I'm getting the right support in place. I found counselling really helped me after we lost our son and really need to get in the right mindset if we're to ever try again xx

Again, so sorry to see so many of you right in the thick of it right now. Good wishes and hugs to all.

Wasn't sure whether to share this, but... right after my third miscarriage in a 3am moment of madness/despair I wrote to the Guardian advice columnist, and they published it yesterday: www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/aug/25/after-three-miscarriages-im-becoming-jealous-and-resentful-of-my-pregnant-friends. The advice is really kind, and to my surprise nearly all the comments are too, so I thought it might be worth sharing here.

It's been two and a half months since I wrote that letter, and reading it I had a moment of 'gosh, I really am feeling so much better, time heals, etc.'. Then I got a WhatsApp from a friend about the pregnancy of an acquaintance of ours about an hour later and burst into tears! I guess ups and downs is the nature of this, unfortunately.

Wow lisa! Good on you for writing that. I hope it helps others too, glad it's out there. This struck me most from the answer:

"A miscarriage is not just the loss of a baby, but an imagined future."

I had just started to get all these hopes and dreams ready for our baby.