TTC after pregnancy loss: We're nervous, we're hopeful, we're checking all the charts and taking all the vits!

[BertieBotts]

Welcome back all and welcome new posters.

Sorry to see more new names on here. I hate that we all have to be here but it's a good place to be around those who know how you're feeling.

Those that have just been through it recently - take it one day at a time and don't push yourself too hard. It's a long and difficult road but things do get easier.

In relation to the Pregnacare I was taking that I discussed at the beginning of the week - I feel much better off them. I still have a fair bit of nausea but it's no longer all day and night continuously. Who'd had thought?! Midwife appointment today. If I can make it to 3:20pm, I've officially reached Check Point 1! Who knows if all is really well in there. Having had the mmc first time around I'm petrified these symptoms are just covering again. I'm going to ask for an early scan but I don't see them giving me one.

Hope all well with everyone else x

@flatwhite31 thank you ❤️ I am feeling fairly normal physically but I never got much sickness even while the baby was alive.

I am SO sorry that you are still dealing with morning sickness, that seems just too cruel.

If this has made me realise anything so far it's that women are strong as hell ❤️

Hello, just popping in to keep you all updated. I'm still keeping up with this thread daily. So I have had morning sickness pretty badly this last week and today I wake up and feel great! Not perhaps what you would expect with a twin pregnancy of this stage.

So a bit of a worry. trying to get a scan booked but "because of bank holiday, only accepting emergencies" so once again I'm left wondering what's going on in there.

It all feels very familiar, in may, whilst around 9 weeks with twins, symptoms just switched off one day and as many of you know, it was very bad news for me, both babies had died.

That must be really worrying Lime, hopefully it's just varying hormone levels. I know it will be a long weekend if you have to wait for a scan, have everything crossed for you.

Fingers crossed Lime, I know symptoms can come and go in the first few weeks, but def understand the worry. Try and do something distracting!

I've had a bit of a wake up call last night. I'd downloaded my fitness pal to try and track my vitamin intake a bit more and it asked for my weight so I dug out the scales which are for some reason hidden in our bedroom under a pile of crap and I weigh under 50 kilos :( When I put in my food for the last couple of days too I'm hugely undereating and def underweight with BMI of 17! No wonder I'm not getting pregnant

So I've got to get tougher on myself and start eating 3x a day, hopefully it will help.

So sorry for your limbo Lime 😥 Fingers crossed everything will work out

Bertie - I don't think anyone feels like eating after a mc. It tends to be easy for me to do things if I think there's a really good reason though, so hopefully knowing that if you do look after yourself and gain some weight it should help you to get pregnant will make it easier

Sending you love and reassuring hugs Lime xxx When were you scheduled to have another scan?

Wow Bertie, you must be sylphlike! Have you noticed you've been losing weight or have you always been very slim? I downloaded it yesterday to count calories and try and lose a few lbs!

Can you focus on some specific things to start with? Big healthy but filling smoothie for breakfast, oats, full fat milk, some protein powder or something?

Yeah I've always been small and struggled to keep weight on and when I'm stressed it's worse. When I left my XP I only weighed about six stone That was awful and I looked ill. I'm just not a person who is very interested in food and it can seem like such a hassle most of the time.

I think smoothies are the way to go for sure. I used to do smoothies every morning but I've got out of the habit of it. Do you know much about the protein powders? Sometimes I look at it in the supermarket and just feel overwhelmed because I have no idea what the differences between them are, some seem marketed for muscle growth, others for weight loss, and I'm confused. Actually everything is geared up for weight loss which makes it really hard to find good info about building up weight unless it's aimed at people with eating disorders, which isn't the problem I have.

Bless you @BertieBotts. I'm also slim and weigh around 50kg. I'm a foodie though and it's pure luck that I'm slim! When I fund out I was pregnant, I started eating more full fat natural yoghurt and increased my portion sizes a bit, which was working well, as I lose weight easily too. Sadly as we know, the baby didn't survive, but that was absolutely nothing to do with food intake. If you struggle with good, small changes are best.

@KerryLeanne84 funnily enough my appetite is still huge, as my body still thinks I'm pregnant. I'm not seeing this as a bad thing though, as I lose weight easily and any weight I can keep on the better, as I doubt I'll be eating much for a few days after tomorrow. How are you feeling today lovely? Xx

When I was getting pregnant last year looking back my weight was more like 53-55kg, which according to NHS BMI calculator is healthy. I haven't weighed regularly for a while so I think I'll move the scales back into the bathroom and try to keep up with it more.

And breakfast smoothies/overnight oats and try to have some lunch every day.

I've updated MFP and it reckons I need to be eating around 2,300 calories per day which is about 2-3x more than I have been eating!

Fingers crossed all's well Lime. I can't imagine how scary it must be

I have an emergency GP appt this afternoon, I am cramping so badly not no AF or bfp. It's been bad all this week but today's another level. It's been 7 weeks since ERPC so I don't think it could be an infection or anything? I feel confused & worried. I don't want to take pain relief in case I am, or use hot water bottles etc.

I just want a baby

Bertie - myprotein.com do a nice vanilla protein powder that may help. You can add it to porridge, smoothies and I add it to breakfast 'cookies' that I make with oats, banana, nuts and seeds. Perhaps you could also get some calorie dense foods like avocado, peanut butter or nuts, full fat yoghurt, cheese, if you like any of those.

Thanks for asking @flatwhite31, I am doing fairly well. Today is the first day I got dressed and put on makeup and I've been clearing out some old clothes and tidying up. How are you doing? Any news on when you can have the erpc? X

Sorry @flatwhite31, just realised from your comment it must be tomorrow. Good luck to you, not that you'll need it - the NHS staff are incredible and you will be absolutely fine. I felt very relieved after that it was done with, physically.

I wrote a letter to the baby before the procedure which helped me a lot but I know everyone is different.

So sorry you're in pain @yellowfrontdoor 😔 Had it gone away completely until now? Apologies for my ignorance as I haven't been there yet, but Perhaps you are about to start your period - I have heard that the first period after mc can be awful.

Glad to see you're feeling more positive @KerryLeanne84. I'm very down and tearful today, but that's to be expected. The ERPC is tomorrow, so at least I don't have to wait too long. Absolutely dreading it, but at least it'll provide us with a sense of closure.

@Lime19
Sending you positive thoughts & vibes! Take it one day at a time.

It must be so difficult, comparing symptoms/lack of with your previous pregnancy...and all the while not knowing what is going on in there!

I hope you do get a scan agreed to, if not is there any scope with paying for a private one, to help put your mind at rest (for a while at least!)

Just cracked & poas. Two actually.

Bfn on frer. Whiter than white. But a positive OPK?!
Maybe you're right @KerryLeanne84 it has to be my period. I feel like an idiot for the gp appt now but I was really worried, the pains like no period pain I've ever had. 😢

@Flatwhite31 hope all goes well tomorrow. I've had two ERPCs now, and I think that they stopped me from feeling like it was all so drawn out. To anyone who chooses to miscarry naturally I salute you, I couldn't have done that.
An ERPC definitely made me feel like I could draw a line & start to move on

It's always so heartbreaking reading everyone's stories - sorry you have to be here.

flatwhite, hope all goes ok tomorrow.

lime, keeping everything crossed for you.

bertie, it's funny how mc and i guess stress more generally has one of two opposite effects - undereating or over eating. All the suggestions seem good - i think it's about finding this you do like eating and padding them out a bit so eating isn't so much of a chore. But agree building up gradually is the way to go. Unfortunately i am a comfort eater but i need to keep myself comfortably under 80kg (I'm tall so that is still within the acceptable weight category for me) for IVF which i suspect I'll need to get (if DH agrees) later in the year.....

@emvy
I know you posted quite a while about OH smoking- yes ours both sound similar!

In denial when surrounded with our non smoker friends, then going for it likes there's no tomorrow with all the smokers!

Hope you are feeling well & things are progressing smoothly

Thanks for all the recommendations & links for the BBT thermometers!

Since buying and reading most of the book "Taking charge of your fertility" it's really opened my mind to temping and keeping a check on my cycles rather than relying/putting too much hope in OPKs

@swimchick1980
Thanks for your thoughts
If you don't mind me asking, what was your DH's sperm count?

It seems like sperm morphology seems to be my DH's issue- basically 99% of his sperm is classed as abnormal/not normal.

We're trying to work out whether we need IVF/other assisted conception.
If so we won't get IVF funding and we can't afford to go private.
We'd probably look to go abroad.

I cannot believe we're at this point!
12 months ago, I remember going to the gym on a day off from work and just crying on the cross trainer machine. Luckily the gym was empty at the time

I'd just got my 2nd AF post-miscarriage and gutted I wasn't pregnant.

I can remember thinking and telling myself that we'd have a baby on the way this time next year...1 year later and things seem to have gone from bad to worse!

Yep feeling sorry for myself today!

@swimchick1980
Forgot to ask, if you don't mind, what are your "details"?

I turned 39 last month, DH is 36
We have a LO aged 3 yrs
MMC 14 months ago at 13 weeks
TTC since we got BFN post medical management.
So TTC 13 months in total- no BFPs at all!
Then a few weeks ago DH told he has poor sperm motility at 1%

Arrrrghh and so fed up of reading about celebs and their 4th pregnancy or whatever.

Colleen only had a baby early last year. And what's her name Danielle Lloyd- 4th boy!

Hugs to everyone having a tough time. The first weeks after MC are so so hard, make sure you rest and are kind to yourself. I miscarried naturally, not through choice, but hospital was too busy to do the surgery straight away so I had to wait 4 days during which time I miscarried at home but then some tissue got stuck so ended up in A&E, awful, would not want anyone to go through that. Baby measured 8wks but I was supposed to be 10. Still really gutted about Christmas, my EDD was 10th December. Hope I'll be pregnant again by then.

On eating - I usually stop eating when I'm stressed, but sadness is different. I have been comfort eating since the mc and put on almost a stone! Since May. Urgh. I actually lost weight when I was pregnant because I didn't feel like eating much.

Lime thinking of you, try not to panic, I hope you can get a scan soon. How many weeks are you now?

I've stopped taking all my vitamins because I'm still on holiday and they got ruined in the heat, stupid of me. Diet has been pizza pasta and beer! Oh dear! However very relaxed DTD every day and I'm just heading into FW now. I even found some OPK in the supermarket, will start them tomorrow (CD12). Really want this to work! We fly home Monday (CD15).

Glad you're having a good time Grumpy.

Finding opks in a foreign supermarket is exactly what I'd do!!