anyone else just fucked off with this lark and want to moan?

[stillvicarinatutu]

come on then.
moan away.
ill start. i m just so fucking fucked off. lost one last year at 44....i thought its a miracle!! wasnt to be but filled me with what appears to be false hope.

been trying ever since. and no. every month the same. this month as well as AF ive another surprise - a cyst. where no one ever ever wants one.
so this month will be lost. along with all dignity as i beg the hospital to lance it.

moan away. go on. you know you want to.

I read that thread just now. And although there is lots of "it took me one crazy night" posts there are also a few people saying it took them over a year for number one but they conceived number 2 really fast. I find that a bit reassuring.

I know I'm struggling with number 1 (DEFINITE tumbleweed womb here!) but at 40 I do also wonder if I did succeed would I be able to give them a sibling...so that makes me a bit hopeful.

What I did wonder about that thread is why are all this successful Mamas hanging around on the TTC boards?

Sorry @hellybellyjellybean that you lost your confidante! It is a lonely business - that's why we have each other!

@Steaksauce sorry about your Grandma. Hope you are ok. Xxx

@justmeonly I was ill recently and loads of people thought that meant I was pregnant. One friend actually texted me mega excited and I had to reply with "it's PMS." urgh.

I'll tell people I'm pregnant when I'm ready, if I ever get pregnant.

@hellybellyjellybean I've just told a friend yesterday actually, she's not in a relationship and has had an ovary removed so I figured it's likely she'll have to go through this too, and has likely worried about all this already. Was nice to talk about it, but no one is gonna get it like you guys do!

@Janefx40 they could be TTC more! And the ones who'd been trying for longer periods probably still get conception forum posts coming up on "active" on the app.

Morning guys, I know what you mean about people constantly asking if your pregnant!! Everyone at work knew I was before the miscarriage (I was 11 weeks) and had two scans already showing a heartbeat so i stupidly told pretty much everyone including the barista at Starbucks! Then I had to untell them all (awkward for them more than me actually) now people are asking me all the time how it's going. I'm going to have to become a very good liar if I ever do fall and want to keep it under my hat until it's safe.
Also AF showed up like a car crash this morning just as FF predicted and I did get a bfn on Saturday but I felt so sick this week I slightly convinced myself I might be upduffed. Nevermind ( grrrrrrrrrr) time to move on. I'm going to go mental at the gym this week to feel better and stop shovelling chocolate in my face. Back to work anyhoo. Have a good Monday folks.
Steaksauce I'm sorry about your grandma too. I went through it not so long ago. She was a legend and I still think about her. Hugs xxxx

@dudemeister76 sorry to hear AF has arrived.

Morning ladies,

Sorry AF showed up dudemeister :(

Quick question: if I normally have a very regular 28 day cycle and ov around day 14 but this cycle I ov’d on cd12, does that mean af will come on cd26 rather than cd28? Wanna be prepared lol

bubblegum your luteal phase length is usually pretty fixed in length so I'd say cd26 give or take a day maybe xxxx

@dude sorry about AF

Fucking Ofsted in tomorrow!!! Aghh!!! DH just got on the plane for 9 weeks! Fuck sake. Only bright side ovia just moved my fertile window to fertile score of 10 today so 9.5 yesterday when we DTD for the last time. 3rd day of flashing smiley today no static yet. Someone please tell me I am delusional!

I feel your pain, @Mrsjones17!!! Good luck with it, fx for you for Ofsted and your fw!

@soozc how was it for you? Did you get seen? Lt just sent out email insisting in lessons plans. I'm refusing....

I'm early years so we got scrutinised! The lead inspector said to us all at the beginning they don't expect to see planning unless we had one we wanted to show them. So go on refusing! Ridiculous expectation of SLT!

@soozc ah that's shitty!! Did you hear anything back?? I supposed you probably can't put it on here...

They didn't tell us! Although from what the head said, I have an idea!

Good luck with it. Just remember, you're a great teacher and Ofsted just see a small part of what we do and most people don't give two figs what they say anyway!

Good luck Mrs Jones! You two have got me worried now - I've successfully missed the big O (the teaching one, not the ttc one) for a good few years... Last time I had one was on 3 days notice! Having said that, it'll be over before you know it. xx

In other news, it's my first month using opks and there doesn't seem to be a hint of an LH surge. Either I've been ovulating late for months and therefore not dtd necessarily on the right days, I'm not ovulating at all, of my body has decided to be weird this month just to confuse me. Just wonderful.

Sooz They really didn't tell you? They always used to I thought.

They really didn't tell us. They said the report can be changed at any point up until the publication date. Which makes me wonder if they're fighting the judgement somehow. I think if it was a definite grade then they'd tell us.

Just watching the rollercoaster Don't Tell the Bride! Trying not to go poas.

That doesn't sound good sooz are you an early years teacher or nneb? I used to work in nurseries many moons ago and am now a part time nanny (have such a complicated hybrid job)

Only time I dealt with Ofsted was when I was an acting centre manager and a parent we had reported to Ofsted put a counter report in.

Thank you @dudemeister I’ll be sure to pack my handbag with tampons a few days early!

@justme it’s perfectly normal to have a month where you don’t ovulate. I was told to start doing opks at around cd7 which I never used to do because I have a 28 day cycle so thought it was a waste. This month I did them earlier starting cd9 and I got me peak on cd11 when normally I wouldn’t have started opks until cd12. I wasn’t expecting to ovulate then and now I’m wondering if maybe I’ve been missing me peak and just getting positive opks because I’m catching the end of the LH surge. I would try using them for a few months and see how you get on and if you don’t get any positives then maybe ask your dr, they may run a blood test to see if you’re ovulating :)

@juneybean, yeah I teach and lead early years in a primary school and in a school Ofsted report the early years is given a grading all of its own. So we got looked at lots!

Thanks Bubblegum - that's reassuring! Tested from day 7, following instructions to the letter. Will try again next cycle. Need to go and see the doc anyway (just over 35 and 12 cycles in). Kind of putting it off because it makes it too real. But need to go to get the ball rolling in case there's something wrong.

@justme I am having tests done now. I’m 11 cycles in. It’s bittersweet really. Finally getting some help but also having to admit you need help isn’t easy. Good luck with the opks, honestly I thought after almost a year I had it figured out and then I’m confused all over again lol

Worried this month that I have missed my positive OPK - SO annoying! I haven't seen it positive yet & it's lighter today! 😩 DTD yesterday though... am I delusional this could be enough?! Arghhh! Fingers crossed it's wrong... will do another before bed!!

So lovely to talk to you all about this, I have no-one to talk to, apart from OH, and sure I am driving him crazy! 😂

Any of you guys chart your temps? i know some find it tedious or stressful but for me its been fascinating to actually know whats going on inside my body and actually be able to pinpoint my ovulation and learn how long my luteal phase is.