anyone else just fucked off with this lark and want to moan?

[stillvicarinatutu]

come on then.
moan away.
ill start. i m just so fucking fucked off. lost one last year at 44....i thought its a miracle!! wasnt to be but filled me with what appears to be false hope.

been trying ever since. and no. every month the same. this month as well as AF ive another surprise - a cyst. where no one ever ever wants one.
so this month will be lost. along with all dignity as i beg the hospital to lance it.

moan away. go on. you know you want to.

Ugh @mrsjones17 I'm so tired of the "there's still a chance" like you say you just know in yourself. Sorry for your spotting though :(

Vicar would you feel able to just stopping opking and just shag when you feel like it?

@Mrsjones17 sorry about AF signs and BFN. Don't feel silly for hoping - or for testing. We all just do what we have to to get through the 2WW. It is a very painful anxious time of just not knowing. The disappointment is bad enough without punishing ourselves for daring to hope (I definitely do that - feel stupid for daring to dream - but then why are any of us even trying if we don't dare to dream it might work?!). All I'm trying to say (very inarticulately) is, be nice to yourself xxx

Thank you @jane that's really kind.

Haha jane very eloquently put!

stillvicarinatutu I am so sorry to hear that! I think you should maybe carry on with a 'if it happens it happens' attitude. I'd hate for you to totally stop. I for one really want to hear you have a BFP!

Oof, hangover 🙄 and 40.

Peaches I've started on 250mg of ubiquinol, 50mg B6, and a vitamin B complex on top of the folic acid. Definitely ovulated earlier and stronger, and I've only been taking for 3 weeks. Slightly concerned that my usual huge sore boobs haven't made an appearance by 5dpo but I believe B6 is meant to be good for regulating pms. Good though in that there's no symptoms to spot.

I really hope it wasn't a fluke at all, Vicar and it's just a case of a little waiting for the right egg.

@limp interesting you should say about lack of sore boobs. I've started vitamin b complex recently and have definitely noticed a lack of sore boobs this month. Normally they get big and sore near AF about 4 days before I'm due. This month nothing and I'm due tomorrow. Strange. Wonder if it's a side effect of the b complex?

So spotting now is only when I wipe (sorry too much info!) Don't really know what to make of it. Very clear negative test this morning. Would have thought a frer would have picked it up today surely? Possibly let 12dpo but no opks this month so not 100% sure.

to juney yes. im just using up the sticks from the opk cos they cost packet.
we dtd at the right times anyway and im always up for it as is he. no real need for the opks anymore - was just to put my mind at rest really that i was ovulating at my advanced age!
i m thniking i should probably be taking some of these supplements that claim to improve egg quality as clearly my eggs are now a bit dodge....

im pretty much resigned to it not happening now. bit of a stretch at 45. think the odds are about 5%. ie - fuck all chance. !

i didnt know the odds before and i wasnt really trying. sickening eh? now im trying its all just too hard!

That's really interesting MrsJones. My very unscientific thought was that sore chest was a positive sign of rising progesterone and was vaguely worried I might've buggered it up somehow. 12 dpo is still early on a frer, my CP was a BFP at 10dpo on a cheapie but not on a frer for another few days.

I know it's only anecdata Vicar but I think the stats are skewed on over 40 ttc, I keep reading about how many women are accidentally falling much later on as they did in my nans day. I have a friend who thought she was menopausal but actually had a DD at 51, and even she thinks its not that unusual.

I had heard sore boobs were generally a bad sign...

@juney interesting. I have sore boobs every cycle and every cycle I haven't got a BFP. No sore boobs this cycle AF due today and nothing but also BFN on test....fuck off body and tell me what's happening haha!

Hi can I join in? AF arrived yesterday so we're now into cycle 4 (I know it's still early days)
I'm 37 (well on my way to 38) and dh is 41 so I can't get rid of that tiny nagging voice that is telling me we've left it too late.

We were fucking knackered after all the shagging through the fertile week and I'd sort of convinced myself we'd done enough.....

So naturally I googled fertility at 37 and found loads of scientific articles with lots of graphs showing the chances of conceiving and then maintaining a healthy pregnancy drop through the floor at....37. Ace.

I'm so fucking fucked off.

Stupid fucking internet giving me knowledge I was better off not knowing.
Now I'm sat here with a hot water bottle on my stomach because I read somewhere else that a cold uterus won't implant and warming it from the start of the cycle to ovulation makes it warmer.

So I'm now fucked off and I think a tiny bit insane.

LimpLettice that's an interesting combo, what made you go for that? I've just started inofolic, it's supposed to be good for pcos sufferers.

Peaches I've been thinking about the ubiquinol for a while simply from an age perspective to try and give the old eggs a boost.

B6 to try and regulate possible raised prolactin levels (not diagnosed just suspected by me) as suggested by a GP acquaintance, and the complex as it makes the B6 easier to absorb. Allegedly. Also ditched the pregnacare for standard folic acid this month.

Thanks LimpLettice let me know how you get on!

God some of the threads in conception make me want to scream and slap the participants!

@juney yes!!!! Read one earlier someone has managed to get pregnant in the pill!!!! Here we are slogging away and nothing!

On that note AF turned up today. Onto cycle 12...fucking 12!!!! Not until December too because DH deploys this month so looks like October is out as well as November. For fucks sake.

Omg I read one yesterday where she was symptom spotting at 5dpo or something then announces they used a condom?!?! What the fuck!!

Cycle 12? :( Fuck AF! Hope you've got plenty of chocolate.

I'm not sure if we will be trying this month as we are in between donors so I should probably use the time to get fit instead of sitting on my arse.

Now this is a thread I can enjoy!

Cycle 10. Sick of sex. Hate everyone who has children. Really had enough of this ttc shit.

I read that one too juney and was just, wtf!

MrsJones, sorry af turned up, and DH is away. Boo.

I'm 7dpo ish now, and pointlessly symptom spotting like a twat. Mouth full of saliva this morning and struggled with a tuna sandwich. How can I feel so negative and still be symptom spotting ffs! Still no soreness in the chesticles though.

Welcome rusty ! I hate everyone fertile.

limp don't symptom spot yet it's far too early as I've discovered every month. But fingers crossed for you!

Haha. Anti fertile fuckers unite!

I swear if someone announces they got pregnant when using a condom I will find it hard to not say anything!

It's like these ladies that say 'i had sex once this month what are my chance?!' I feel like responding with it depends...are you desperate for a baby and done everything humanely possible to get pregnant including balancing in your head like a twat after sex then no you won't get pregnant from once that month. On the other hand if your 'seeing how it goes' and 'not really trying' the yes that one time that month you will be up the duff instantaneously and have a wonderful pregnancy from start to finish.....

Do i sound bitter??!!......

Way, way too early. I don't know why I do it to myself. These last few days of the cycle are just shit.

Haha Mrsjones if you're bitter I'm bitter too!!