anyone else just fucked off with this lark and want to moan?

[stillvicarinatutu]

come on then.
moan away.
ill start. i m just so fucking fucked off. lost one last year at 44....i thought its a miracle!! wasnt to be but filled me with what appears to be false hope.

been trying ever since. and no. every month the same. this month as well as AF ive another surprise - a cyst. where no one ever ever wants one.
so this month will be lost. along with all dignity as i beg the hospital to lance it.

moan away. go on. you know you want to.

Ugh lily & micropig I feel you - started Jan, shorter cycles mean this is cycle 11 (and just checked again in the hope that I'd miscounted...). Fuck all's happened apart from spotting one day btw ovulation & AF one cycle (never happened before, hoped was good sign, obvs not). My siblings have young kids, SIL now pregnant. Feel shit and totally get that feeling of embarrassment now - even though I know the stats, etc etc.

Trying to look beyond, some travel, looking for a job. Hopefully remembering other things I value will help Anyway, fx for you all and hope you can get where you want to be soon xxx

Hi all - I'm so glad I've found this thread. Been feeling so rubbish since I realised AF was on way on Thursday. Haven't stopped crying and arguing with OH!

Currently sat in waiting room for scan desperate for loo (they make you drink a litre of water an hour before and not pee - inhuman!)

A few names I recognise on here @juneybean and @LovePinaColada hello

@hellybellyjellybean i've just done my 4th acupuncture session. Loving it! Hope you enjoy too.

@Mrsjones17 I am rubbish at naming stuff but will have a think.

Sorry about all the baby bombs and stress. I think it's hard for people to understand how painful this is if they haven't experienced it.

Wishing all of you well for this cycle.

Xxx

Sorry that you are all feeling the same as me, but it's also nice to know I'm not alone going through this. It sucks!!!

@Janefx40 so pleased to see you although sad you're still on the conception forums :(

Thanks @juneybean all fine with the scan although part of me wishes they had been able to find something (easily curable) to explain why I'm not preggers!

Joining you all for a moan if that's ok... Been TTC for over a year now. Got pregnant once and then had miscarriage at 6 weeks.
Was just getting used to the disappointment and sadness every month when AF showed up, and finally vowed that this month if I got it I wasn't going to let it get to me.
Now my body has thrown a new spanner in the works, and my clockwork 32 day cycle (the one thing I could rely on) is now 15 days late! Been doing tests every few days since missed period and keep getting BFNs. So I've no friggin idea what's going on, and all my planning around my cycle dates etc has gone out the window along with my whole attitude of trying to just relax and let it happen. I'm going on holidays next week and have no idea when/if AF is going to show up....

Sorry to hear of your miscarriage.

So I did a test at 10dpo and bfn of course. Never had a BFP in my life.

I'm just so fed up of waiting and then getting disappointed argh! Doesn't help that DH side keep on having pregnancy announcements and 1st Birthdays...I know I shouldn't but I feel a tad jealous - I just want it to happen now! Argh!!!

Sorry everyone. @2good sorry about the mc. @PinkChocolatex sorry about all the babies.

@juneybean I've never had a BFP either. I never even get to test which frustrates me. I feel I at least want to go through the cycle of trying and testing but then by the time anything might show up, I get my menstrual migraine af 10dpo so I know I'm out. OH doesn't understand why I'm so desperate to do a test even if it is negative.

It's so great to know there are others feeling the same - but I hope it changes for all of us and we get to have our babies soon.

I didn't test at all last month but this month I felt so hopeful! But 10dpo is still pretty early.

What DPO are you on now Jane ?

Just been babybombed by a family member :( can't stop crying as I knew it was going to happen but had hoped I'd at least be pregnant too

So sorry @juneybean - sending big hugs. Your not out until the witch arrives! Stay positive! X

@juneybean oh no!!! Sending positive vibes xx

@janefx40 bless you! It's just that I can't get TTC out of my mind!!! I think I'm going mad arghhh

Sorry @juneybean that is really hard. We just have to hold faith that it will be our turn one day!

I am 13dpo but period nearly here. Should be tomorrow.

Bracing myself for another cycle

X

Sending much love @juneybean it really does suck. I've been sat in tears wit that young girl getting pregnant on cold feet a DH thinking it's not fair, need to get a grip!

I think I need to join this thread as I feel like the voice of doom on other one - last thread I joined everyone else got a BFP, maybe I will bring the same luck to this one :) So sorry to hear everyone else is suffering but good to hear grumps for someone else...So good to find my people. I know being positive helps, but ffs, I can't!!!

40 next week, TTC #2 since May, one definite CP / early loss, one suspected. Got baby bombed (twins) by a close colleague quite early on, and have had it rubbed in my face at every available opportunity. Gender reveal with balloons in the work place anyone? Desperately want to give younger DP the option, he is an excellent step father, but just feel so GLOOMY about it all. Parent with cancer here too, defo not helping.

Started ubiquinol and B6 this month and ov gone from day 17/18 to day 14 this month, lots of ewcm (static smiley this am) but I just don't feel hopeful at all.

@hellybelly oh my gosh, I watched cold feet with DH and we got so depressed! Sometimes it feels like the universe is so frigging unfair! Have been baby bombed twice in the last fortnight and have sneaky suspicions that at least one more is on the way. Bleurgh. Had a total cryfest at 1am the other night and scared DH into fits. We've now decided that we'll plan something nice every weekend at the end of my cycles to cheer ourselves up in case it's another BFN. Booked a holiday for next summer too, which we've been putting off 'just in case'. Meh. Would rather have a baby, but if not I guess I'll take a luxury (albeit refundable 😉😋) holiday instead. Hugs and baby dust to all Xx

Gosh I am annoying myself! Since my sort of line which turned out to not be a line at all - I just can't stop testing! It's only cheapies - but I keep squinting at sticks, arrrggghhhh!

@hellybellyjellybean @loobylou124 thanks for reminding me to watch Cold Feet! Been wondering what's good on TV at the moment. Will just have to brace myself for the baby bomb.

@LimpLettice welcome. I'm 40 too. Sometimes the info makes you feel like it's impossible or you're too old - but we see so much variety between women on here that I find it hard to believe every woman's fertility spontaneously combusts on her 40th birthday.

Xxx

That sounds like a wonderful idea @loobylou124!

Thank you Jane, definitely agree with that I know far too many older mums to think it all just drops off a cliff. The early loss screwed with my head a bit though.

LovePina it's a bitch ain't it. I get the overwhelming urge to poas even though I know Af is on her way, it's like an itch. Hope af stays away 😊

Hello - can I come in and dump my unfertile crap here too please? Reading all your posts has made me feel so much more normal!

I'm having my 3rd mc after 5 years ttc #1. I was lucky to get pregnant naturally for the first two, but mc'd at 11w and 9w. Then over 2 years went by with not a sniff of a BFP, so had some fibroids removed and we started ivf. Got a BFP on the 2nd cycle! But at 7w the heartbeat had slowed and then stopped. Didn't start bleeding til 10w and now still bleeding at 12w and have an infection (taking antibiotic pills and squirting antibac gel up the other end) Feeling very sorry for myself, sad, pissed off and generally broken (not to mention skint) Not sure what to do or where to go next. I'm 44 and I'm scared I've had all the chances I'm going to get.

Meanwhile baby bombs at work are constant. I've distanced myself from friends with babies. I can't talk about it without welling up as the pain is always just under the surface. I can't imagine how I'm going to come to terms with this not happening for us.

Thanks for letting me have somewhere to vent and good luck to everyone here x

Oh mucku you poor thing, you've really been through it xxx

mucki sorry my phone is a piece of shit!