SQUARE ONE'RS TO GRADUATES! Morale & energy is low, but we will not be beaten, BFPs WILL be achieved in this here thread!

[Tee4me]

Roll call:

Tee4me: 34 years old
TTC: #2 since December 2015
DC: DS nearly 5 years old
x2 early MCs
Diagnosed with high level of activated NK cells with positive result for Antinuclear Antibodies plus Hypothyroidism.
About to embark on 1st cycle with medication (from ovulation).
CD7 and gearing up for FW!

Welcoming original square-oner's and any newbies battling along and in need some support x

Hi mimi. Ticking over... how are you??

I miss you all.

I love hearing about others' positive stories, but they also make me feel sad for myself, so I had to take a break from that (easier said than done!).

We went to our ivf info evening last week and my hometown was destroyed by mudslides. Other than that, not a lot new with me!! Oh and I think I'm quitting my job in March...

I’m also here. We’ve started TTC for the #2, only just. And not much to report. In the meantime, my LO is almost 8 months

Hi all,

Still bumbling along here. Had a Hysteroscopy and endometrial scratch last week. Hycosy on 31st so no trying this month. Another month of natural TTC in February, but have a private IVF appointment on 7th, so hoping to undergo first round in March or April.
Sad this hasn't happened for so many of the group, really thought we'd all have babies or at least bumps by now xx

miss you too guys . glad you are still kicking but sorry for the struggles.

@kate, really excited for you that you have a plan of action. how did the ivf info evening go? oh my, you want to leave your job! !what do you plan on doing next hun? best wishes to you .a lot is happening there l must say.

sending you lots of good vibes @tee. enjoy your break this month dear and hope February is the miracle month. lf not ,fx you catch first round of ivf. you are so right, most of us have had it rough on this group but really praying that the year will end on a good note for all.

oh @russ, your lo has surely grown! !best of luck with your ttc journey. will you be trying naturally for a while?

thinking of you @foot and @jam

well l have just started the tww and have taught myself to expect af. there's no more thrill in ttc tbh.oh, I also turned 37 this month so age is not making anything better.

take care my friends and keep us updated.

Hi mimi!!

Sounds like a lot going on tee. I've decided I want a hysteroscopy to check my fibroid (clomid is well know to grow these) and general uterine health as I'm convinced that's the problem.

The job thing is just to cope with the stress of ivf... I'd probably take about a year out to do the three rounds I am 'trying' to prepare for. 12 dpo and after a hell of a lot of distortions this is the result. Either an indent line or a chemical??

Or I'm hallucinating lines now...

fx tx @kate, this is exciting news indeed

unfortunately my phone is not able to zoom in so l can't see clearly but rooting for you with all my heart dear. hope your test will be clearer in a day or two.

watching the space

I think it's just wishful thinking/ kidding myself. Floods of tears all weekend and I can't explain it...

so sorry hun. really hope it's the start of something

@physicskate have you got a colour photo of it?

I've been signed off and been given drugs. I'm officially going crazy. On top of that, had an awful email from a parent complaining about his daughter's mock result and what was 'I' going to do about it??

Af due today/ tomorrow. Haven't taken another test... because I'm not upduffed. Still colour edited as it's the only way anything can be seen.

any news yet @kate, hope af has stayed far away

hello there @durezidal , how are you and the lo? baby must be all grown now

Definitely still barren...

I went to an event to recruit teachers today. It was a bad idea to go. I thought that being around all the bright young things might make me feel better and enthuse me about my work. It didn't. And I've probably put quite a few off...

big big hugs your way lovely. after a horrible day you need to just spoil yourself hun

Hey, I do pop on to check how everyone is doing. J is 3 months old today, where has the time gone? Unfortunately I've not had as much time with him as I would have liked as I had to go back to work after 3 weeks so he has been in nursery since 8 weeks (which he loves!).

I am trying to be more strict with my time and having Thursdays off with him no matter what. It's hard though when it's your own business, you can never truly shut off

Hi all. Missing you lot...

I'm still not pregnant and the F.C. messed up my last appointment (cancelled and didn't tell me). I've quit my job and they put me on gardening leave.

On 6th cycle of clomid. Dh not feeling well so we haven't Dtd and ovulation should be soon.

As much as it might make me upset to hear about others' good news, I needed to reach out. You lot have been here for me more than I'd imagined would be possible. It's been two years since these threads were started!!!

Hope everyone is doing better than me!!!!

Hey Kate, Sorry to hear it still hasn't happened for you. Lots of changes in your life so I hope that it will make a difference. Are u happy to not be working? Hope it's for the best. Wow 2yrs.. feels like I know you all and your cycles/womanly bits more than close friends!

Hi everyone else..I still think about you all and keep checking for any news.

So Dh and I have worked it out and things are going really good at last.
Have some sad news though.. and that after 6 months with no AF my latest blood results show that I am in peri -menopause. They can't call it menopause until 1yr without a bleed. So looks like baby making is not possible (slight 5% of women can still pop out a juicy egg) but not likely..
Guess the last year or so the af's were sporadic and non existent towards end of last year. Really gutted, but have to thank God I have 2 healthy boys already and to be grateful with what I have. Only 40! And it's over.. but miracles can happen so hoping it will.

Hope everyone is doing well xx

Hi girls,
It's been so long and what a tough journey we've all had.
Kate, I'm sorry this is dragging so much for you, but I think you were so unhappy with your job that taking that pressure off could be your ticket to success?!
Footy I'm so glad you are working things out with DH but I'm so sorry to hear of the news you've had. I definitely believe in miracles later in life, often when women go into peri, their bodies panic and throw out extra eggs/become extra fertile knowing it's last chance saloon. Glad you have your boys and that is a comfort, would you consider a shot at IVF?!

Well I feel a little in limbo land here. On Monday 5th of March, I got a very faint BFP. It steadily got stronger over the following week. Got a lovely line on FRER approaching 5 weeks pg, but CB still looked rather faint. I vowed to stop testing after that and it was making me so anxious. After my Missed Miscarriage in November 2016, I'm really concerned about a repeat. I don't have a huge amount of symptoms and have been a bit crampy, however I am now 12 days late and only a tiny bit of spotting over a week and a half ago. I'm on immune system suppressing drugs and also progesterone. I have an early scan booked in on 28th March and will pray for a heartbeat. Until then, I can't be confident anything is in the bag just yet 🙏🏻
Sending love, thoughts and baby dust to you all xx

Oh foot!! I ish it was a different result for you, but I'm glad you and dh are doing much better. It sounds like you've come to terms with things quite well!!

Tee, I completely understand you caution about this, but I have everything crossed that this continues for you!! Did you go ahead with the ivf cycle or did this happen first??

I am glad I've quit my jobs b but I do need to figure out what to do next. Was thinking bookkeeping could be ok as I'm good with numbers and it can be done part time?? But honestly, I still don't know!! I'm back to feeling 20 years old!! Powerless and ignorant about myself and the ways of the world!! Antidepressants have been keeping the worst of the dark times away...

Thank you Kate. We went for an IVF Consultation in Jan, but the Specialist actually put us off a bit. It was ARGC and their procedures are very intense, not to mention expensive. I hear that 1 round can cost £15-20k, we just don't have that. I had decided if it didn't happen naturally by Summer, then we'd go to Lister, as they support the immune protocol I'm on.
I had a break from meds in January, plus a hycosy and hysteroscopy with endometrial scratch, so I'm wondering if that helped. Went back on Letrozole for Feb. I don't know, if this is a sticky one, then my dates could be out, those lines just didn't fill me with confidence. Just a case of watching and waiting. We bit the bullet and reserved a puppy today so we'll have a new addition one way or another this year. Will be nice to have a distraction and I work from home full time, so could do with the company!

Kate don't rush yourself on the job front. Book-keeping is a great option though. Working freelance is brilliant if you're not under too much pressure money wise. I love being able to pick and chose my jobs and the flexibility that comes with it! 👍🏻

wow, congratulations @tee4me, wishing you a sticky bfp hun. really hope it's an uneventful pregnancy for you. will definitely be looking out for your update on Wednesday. fx tx

l am soooo happy for you @Footy1. Glad you and your oh have worked things out now. lts been lovely logging onto some good news. ln regards to another baby, I echo tee. I believe in miracles too.

l am soooo happy for you @Footy1. Glad you and your oh have worked things out now. lts been lovely logging onto some good news. ln regards to another baby, I echo tee. I believe in miracles too.

miss you guys too @physicskate. how are you doing hun? hope the break from your stressful work will do you good. definitely hope you are taking care of yourself and treating yourself. where are you in your cycle now . sending you good vibes always

no news my end. have sadly just finished af. l guess I just have to accept that luck has since run dry in regards to another baby. anyways glad to hear from you all and hope you are all doing well.