TTC After MC 12: Hopeful Twats and Emotional Wrecks welcome!

[BertieBotts]

Come one, come all, new and old, no-one wants to be here, but at least we're glad we've got each other :)

Hope your stay here is short.

Now, some BFPs if you please and BFNs for those who are waiting for them too!

Hang on, who asked about temping, I was going to reply.

I temp orally but I sometimes skip the period week mainly because I'm pissed off that it's here :o but also because you get no useful information from it anyway. It's usually spiky and doesn't tell you anything. Once the bleeding gets lighter I normally remember to start again and you can see them level out as the fertile week begins. I do sometimes worry I might forget for too long and then not have enough low temps to see ovulation but it's always been fine.

Hi all, mind if I join? I was on here a few months ago, sadly currently miscarring again. Supposed to have my dating scan in the morning but I'll call up and see what they want me to do. This is my second miscarriage, first at nearly 11 weeks, this time just over 12 weeks. Gutted as we'd just about been starting to get excited and discuss how we were going to tell people. Hope you're all doing ok and hope none of us are here for too long.

Oh Halloumi I'm so so sorry to see you here. I hope you're not on your own & someone's taking care of you.

Stress did you get an EPU appointment?

Juniper tentative congratulations... did you do another test?

Hi halloumi welcome! This sanctuary for emotional wrecks and twats have been super welcoming and supportive. Hope you are doing ok. By the way most are not Either wrecks or twats , but they are super nice to those like me who are v twatty.

No pain overnight just bad dreams :( so didn't epu but gp at 11 and know I will get thyroid test referral and a chat. Dh offered to join me and I took him up on this as normally bumble
To these things alone. Am off work today working at home as not sure I can cope with colleagues !

I also remembered I had a scan at cd 9 or something and remember they found empty womb so know I am not further along as they would have seen then I think. It was a proper rmc internal scoot around and I got given a clean bill of health in terms of ovaries etc and fibroids.

Oh halloumi, so very sorry to see you back here

Hope you get some answers stuck! Glad you've got DH with you and are at home today.

Amazing news juniper

AF is on its way out today. Been feeling pretty low the last few days. Can't believe it's nearly the end of July.

Hugs to everyone.

halloumi god thats so tough to make it to the dating scan again. I'm so sorry you are here again. Hope you are being well looked after at the moment.

stuck hope you get answers today - and make sure you push for them too. This is your body and this is such a wonderful thing to hopefylly be pregnant again, so they must take things seriously.

cd11 today and we managed to dtd last night which was good because i'm still trying not to make it obvious to DH when we need to. and we don't dtd very much...I know it only takes once, because the first mc i had we fell just having sex once that month, and way earlier than i thought was going to be helpful. So trying to keep that in mind and not stress about having sex every day in my fertile week. No positive on the opk yet but hoping stupid expensive clear blue ones turn up from amazon today. wonder how much money bloody amazon makes with crazy women ordering various sticks to piss on??!!!

I did another test which was positive but the symptoms have faded from yesterday so I expect this to go the way of the last 6.

Sorry not to be more joyful but my expectations are pretty much zero at this stage.

I'm so sorry halloumi that really is devastating. I hope it works out for you.

Stuck I hope the doctor is helpful and gets you the medication and some further investigation/scan if needed.

ms juniper i too am not hopeful either, you learn to manage your expectations after several losses. I am crossing all my limbs for you.

nocatshere one hit wonder for this pregnancy so can happen! How are you feeling emotionally?

Any one else in the 2WW?

I find the temp thing fascinating, which is more informative vag or mouth? Also what do your Gps say when you ahem.. temp down there?! mine would have a heart attack!

The GP said that the high HCG could be as something is wrong, poss a molar pregnancy, so off to EPU tomorrow with strict instructions to A&E if the pain returns. I did have a HSG and thyroid test today ( trekked to another surgery as they do walk ins and my GP could only fit me in in 3 weeks) results in 5 days... So hopefully this will be ok.

She said the bleeding was common but she thought i would miscarry as was quite a lot and every few days and very early on. DH shut her down at this point and pointed out she had no factual basis for this and we would go to EPU and see the test results. He grew these GP dealing balls when we went to NCT classs and he learnt how to be my advocate and speak up. He did it in my labour too. I fall in love all over again when he does it! I am an alpha woman, don't get me wrong, but when he steps in all grrr, i love it! sorry i just adore him bleughhhh. Sorry i digress. Helps i like him given all the TTC dtd no matter what.

I do recall this was the lovely stupid i hate her GP who measured me at 32 weeks with my son, i measured 42 weeks/cm -whale and had been having contractions since 23 weeks and she declared a state of emergency and had mme blue lighted 200 ft to delivery suite in a panic. I was only there for a check up! all was fine. I do pity GPs as pregnancy is so specific and they are so general. but still she is an arse.

Gave myself the day off as the nausea is coming in waves and she said i have a throat virus thingy os that might be why i am feeling so rough.

Despite being on a strict 1200 cal diet at the mo, cake is in the mix for today i think!

stuck oh i hope you get not only good news but actual info from the epu tomorrow. It must be so stressful not knowing what the hell is going on. And love hearing about your OH, so glad he has stepped in for you. It's lovely to hear how much you love him, it's nice when this bad shit brings you closer together.
I'm ok thanks, feeling positive, but I find it comes in waves, so often feel positive during fertile week with lots of unknown hope, then it starts to leave as the 2ww hits. Then like anne tend to feel low after af arrives which is when i normally disappear off here for a week or so then catch up and feel better again when we start all over again!

juniper I'm not surprised you don't feel joyful. I really hope all is ok, but i understand you not wanting to get hopes up either.

Thanks for the welcome, i'm feeling more like an emotional wreck at the moment, but no doubt I'll be back to hopeful twat in a few weeks!
Sorry you're in limbo stuck and hope you get some answers soon.
waves to those I saw on here before, sorry you're still here!
EPU wouldn't see me and when I managed to say through the tears 'this is my second miscarriage, is there anything I should do?' she told me to see my GP in case they can refer me for tests. I can't imagine they will, as no family history on my side (although both DH's sister's have had mcs, does anyone know will that count?). I'm going to ask about aspirin too- any of you have any advice on that?

@halloumisandwich I had my second mc 2 weeks ago, the doctor I saw said to start on aspirin her exact words were 'it couldn't hurt'.
My GP also put me on a prescription-only dose of folic acid.
I didn't qualify for any tests either, so hoping the aspirin & folic acid will be enough for next time (hopefully!).

Yellow, Are you taking the aspirin now? Its just i hear some start after a BFP and some before to help with implantation and i wasn't sure how it might affect AF?

I'll start aspirin when if I get my next bfp, so shouldn't impact AF.

The doctor I saw said from when you see a heartbeat but I'll be taking it straightaway! My highly irregular cycles mean until I'm scanned I'm never quite sure where my dates are.

Hey guys.. I guess I am a bit of both, but more an emotional wreck.

I've read some of the comments from today (there are so so many!), I am sorry things aren't going well..guess we wouldn't be on here! Doh!
I just find it incredible that even after a 2nd miscarriage DR'S don't seem to do much :(

I had my first miscarriage about 5 weeks ago. And today AF showed her lovely face. I shouldn't complain, I guess my body has repaired itself quicker than I thought it would. I am terrified of it happening again.
Anyone got any advice on how to cope?
I guess everyone is different but I hate my period right now. Anyone else feel that way?
I really am glad to be on here because I haven't had a lot of support. A week later and everyone just forgot about it. Some of my (what i thought were close) "friends" didn't even bother to ring me when it happened despite me asking them to. And my DR surgery has been a joke.
The Dr I saw was just cruel and then they didn't bother to cancel my midwife appointment, so she turned up on my doorstep a few weeks later. It's been a joke really and I needed to vent haha so thanks!

Genuinely though, I think all you guys who have had miscarriages are so brave, it is such a tough time. I can only hope that it works out for you all and I wish you all the best for the future.
X

Halloumi, I am gutted to see you here. I'm so sorry you're going through this again, and at so close to your dating scan . Also sorry to see a couple of other new faces x

I'm interested to learn a little more about aspirin. A friend of mine, for seemingly no reason whatsoever, has taken it with both of her pregnancies and swears by it. I'm reluctant to start it before a bfp as I'm scared it'll play havoc with my af's but beginning to think I might start it with my next bfp (if I'm lucky enough to get one!). I've read nothing about it though because google scares me after my reliance of it for driving myself insane with all other things! I'm sure it'll just put me off.

I'm already being a HT and I've not even hit ovulation. Gah! Ridiculous.

I was advised by the RMC to take 150mg aspirin once I got a bfp so started yesterday. They tested for all sorts and it came back that I had sticky blood but not APS. I was tempted to start it early but thought I'd better follow the advice.

I tried to get high dose folic but they wouldn't prescribe it. I am taking folate though on top of my pregnacare.

I've been taking Ubiquinol and Vit C too but not sure whether to continue those as read conflicting things on internet.

for you ray. Has AF been heavier this time? I found the next period post mc to be really heavy but then back to normal. Are you planning to try again this cycle?

yellow I have stupid irregular cycles too. 34-40 days. It makes tracking ov and timing ttc a bloody nightmare.

ray so sorry about your loss. And about ways to cope obviously try and take things as they come and you will have days that are ok and ones that are shit. For me certain dates are the worst, like when I would have been 20 weeks etc the hardest and sometimes other days are ok. Be kind on yourself, allow yourself to grieve, not just for the loss of a baby but also what you pictured as your new future. Reallynmy support is on here as like you I find people expect me to be over it by now as it was months ago, but actually I'm finding getting so much nearer what would have been my due date is actually making me feel really sad again. Basically this place is a life saver and vent on here whenever you need too!

msjuniper Thanks, it's only in the last hour or two that I have noticed spotting. I'm sure it will be a heavy one though because of how bad my PMS has been..plus miscarriage. I want to try again but I am quite nervous about it all

Thanks nocats really means a lot to me. It's great that we have some place to go and talk.

I think my husband thinks I'm going a bit mental. Feel distant and just spend lot of time in bed. He did just say to me about starting pilaties on a Wednesday. I know it sounds helpful but he really had no clue, with this period!? Haha unlikely!!!!!
I dunno, I've tried to talk to him and explain. It's hard.

Ray, i found it difficult to talk to my OH as well. He's always so positive and actually, sometimes all you need is a good cry, not the "positives" rammed down your throat! I also find that I go through ups and downs. Some days (most days now), I feel fine, but occasionally, and sometimes suddenly, I feel very emotional, particularly as nocats says, when I'm approaching dates, and at points in my cycle. Just be gentle with yourself and ride with it almost and pop over on here if you're struggling with support in RL.

Thanks Msjuniper. I'm taking vitamin c as was advised by gp back at the beginning of our ttc journey. Other than that though, I'm just on the folic acid. If aspirin has been medically adviced that makes me feel better and I may bite the bullet when (if) I get another bfp.

@MsJuniper bloody nightmare isn't it? I rely on opks and they seem to do the trick for me. I wait for at least 3 weeks after I ovulate to test though; I'm always 2 weeks or so behind on my dates! By the way, Juniper is on our girls name shortlist so I love your username.

@Raysunshine I'm so sorry for your loss. After my first mc I didn't get to AF, I got pregnant again straightaway. This time I think we'll wait, but I have no idea how I'll feel about seeing more blood, I'm still spotting from my mc and I still haven't had a negative hpt either
I'm quite lucky, my OH has been so brilliant, but he worries me because he keeps so much in

That's such good advice nocats, couldn't agree more.

I usually feel fine as soon as af fits, it's normal, if disappointing! But this cycle it's knocked me to the ground and I've cried all over my husband, my mum and my duvet. It's nearly over today so looking forward.

I temp vaginally, found it was more reliable. I only started temping last cycle and it's been really good. Just no thought or effort at all.

Af has definitely been different since mcs, shorter but heavier though this one hasn't been too bad at all.

I'm in aspirin under my rmc and take it from around ov to start of af. I definitely found afs were super heavy and put it down to aspirin but once it starts you can stop aspirin until it's gone.

Anyone going to start taking it, make sure you have it after food. It's a low dose but still good to protect your stomach. I take all my vits and aspirin in a little pot to work and have them with my lunch.

Everyone deals with losses and the shit of miscarriage differently and I've been really lucky with friends mostly saying the right things. A couple of friends have also had losses, though earlier ones, so they totally get it. I find talking to DH very helpful but it's my lovely mum who does my head in bless her! She had all 4 of us first go each time, no losses, easiest ever pregnancies, good labours and took to it all like the epitome of earth motherhood. She's just desperate we've ended up here. She listens well but she's desperate for answers and treatment plans and even asked me when we needed to look at ivf... I've conceived 3 times in a year. It's not getting pregnant that's been an issue but fucking STAYING pregnant. After our mmc in November she was so angry and upset she stopped going to church be cause she suddenly hated god. I'm not a believer but that's big shit from her and I didn't need to bloody have that going on on top of my own pain, shock, heartbreak, fear and rage.

I've also got my sisters wedding (going to be wedding of the bloody century) abroad next June and have the family's hope for us to have a baby (first grandchild) and concern it cocks up the wedding plans. Ffs.

I just want to get pregnant again. As time ticks by my underlying panic is creeping in and I can see DH beginning to freak out.

I'm waffling on, sorry!!!!

Tip to people dealing with other people and I'll stop: remind them that the most useful thing is to acknowledge the whole thing sucks. It's completely shit and if even if they know someone who's had a mc they don't know how YOU'RE feeling but 9 times out of 10 "I'm so sorry, this sucks" is worth far more than positive stories or platitudes. Be honest about what you need from them. DH knows that I usually need a hug more than an "it'll be okay". It might be but there are days I need to say it might not.

That was typo central

Thanks for the aspirin chat, think I'll give that a go next time too, can't do any harm can it!
Sorry you're feeling down ray. I always try to think about first day of af as a new start of possibly a new pregnancy. Helps me a bit. Big hugs.
emvy my DH always tries to be positive too. It's nice sometimes but other times I just want to wallow and cry it out!