TTC After MC 12: Hopeful Twats and Emotional Wrecks welcome!

[BertieBotts]

Come one, come all, new and old, no-one wants to be here, but at least we're glad we've got each other :)

Hope your stay here is short.

Now, some BFPs if you please and BFNs for those who are waiting for them too!

Anne I am not a charter but that looks good to my untrained eye. Is the BD line all the times you dtd? Well done if so! Fingers xed af doesn't show.

Thanks Juniper

Glad you're doing okay! Be thinking of you tomorrow at your scan. Good about your CBD, I loved seeing that.

Sorry you've been feeling rough, how are your iron levels? If you want to top yourself up, I found that gross brown liquid in the flattish bottle much easier on the tummy than the pills. They'll check when you get your bloods done at booking apt but worth keeping an eye on.

Speaking of booking in, I know I'm jumping the gun as not currently even pregnant, but it's really bothering me. When you've had a loss or losses, how quickly have/would you get in the system?

My first mc last year was very early so only told the GP, then had MMC which got all the way to dating scan, so had booking in, all the bloods, scan etc, then had an earlier one after which was all dealt with my RMC and EPU.

The thought of having another booking apt and having to discuss all the bloody shit and losses, and then potentially go through it again, makes me want to put the whole thing off for as long as possible obviously only relevant if I ever get pregnant again but with my last one the RMC doc wanted me to book in around 6 weeks and I just couldn't face it. Lost it at 5 so didn't have to worry but it genuinely stresses me out for next time always assuming! so how do you deal with it? I know I'm a grown up and it's like he could make me, but as such a serial miscarrier to date I'd really rather wait till after a healthy scan for the all the sodding paperwork.

Anne, fingers crossed your af doesn't arrive! Also not a charter here, sorry! In terms of booking in, I'm not sure. You could do an early scan? I know they like to get you in for 8-10 week tests so you'd need to have been booked in for those. I've never actually made it to booking in both times so for me, that feels a bit like a check point! I was sent away from booking in the first time because I was between scans and they were unsure of viability so didn't see any point in doing paperwork until we were sure. They were right! Can't really offer much more than that, sorry.

Juniper, best of luck with your scan! Nausea kicking off here too! Were you offered a scan through rmc?

Quick question - I've got my first counselling session tomorrow with a local mc charity. The sessions are free but they ask for a donation - how much should I give? I'd definitely like to give a donation but not sure how much - does anyone have any suggestions?

Under the RMC I'll get fortnightly scans from 6 weeks and have to start bloods, drugs etc from 4, so it's going to start feeling official as soon as it happens. But for some reason the booking in feels like too much.

Hope your session is useful. I used to pay £50 an hour privately I think. But it's free for a reason and you don't want to start paying at a level you then don't feel comfortable trying to sustain. £10? See how you find it then see what you want to do next time?

Turquiose, would you consider IVF? Just wondered if it was a way of getting round the morphology thing given that they pick the 'best' sperm. I'm giving it 3 months and then going for IVF with PGS in the hope that we can get a sticky bean. I'll be 41 by then so definitely not got time on my side! x

@AnneLovesGilbert
Your chart looks exciting (to my untrained eye)- got my fingers crossed for you!

Re the booking appointment- since my MMC 14 months ago, I've always thought that I'd wait til my dating scan at 12/13 weeks before bothering to do the booking in.

Last year my booking appointment was only a few days before my dating scan which went to shit and I was still covered in the bruises from multiple attempts at taking blood!

The booking felt like such a waste of time. Just need to actually fall pregnant again hey-ho

@AnneLovesGilbert

Not sure about interpreting the results!

DH said the GP was saying it's fine as he has normal sperm count/concentration and motility (just about ok)

Google from today tells me otherwise- couples with morphology of 1% or less having IVF or ICSI

She said he could repeat it he wanted to but needs to wait a couple of months. This is painful as it's taken from bloody March for DH to get his sperm analysis!

I'm off tomorrow so I'm going to try and see any of the GPs for more info/a referral to a specialist

It's gone on too long now and I want to see what our options are

I had 2 bookings-in just before mc, the first one I think I had actually started bleeding already but they said to still come in. So depressing. I hadn't really thought about how it will work this time. I had to get my GP to send a referral so I am under the care of the RMC. The appt tomorrow is for a scan and consultation so I am not sure where the "normal stuff" fits in.

I think I can get weekly scans if I want to sign up to this trial they are doing, but I don't know if that would end up causing more anxiety. I think I'll just see what they say tomorrow. Firstly I just want to see that there is definitely a viable pregnancy in there. Then I'll have a very nervous few weeks ahead to see if I can get past my danger point of 9 weeks. But I don't think I'll ever take it for granted.

@StepAwayFromGoogle

Is IVF what they use for morphology issues?

I've got no real thoughts on whether we would or not- this is totally something that's no been on our radar or it's something that has always happened to others.

Reality sucks.

Realistically, we can no way afford IVF (we can barely afford to get a deposit together for a shoebox in London)

We would have to go private as (what I've seen of my local area guidelines) we already have a child, my DH is a smoker- although I've got until a day before my 40th birthday next summer before I am not eligible!

Well, we're not eligible anyway based on the first two above.

Balls this is all just utterly wank shit.

@StepAwayFromGoogle
Good luck with it all- am hoping you get your BFP some time in the next 3 months!

Have you been to see fertility specialists already then?

Emvy that is great about the counselling charity. Yes £10-£20 sounds good.

I am not complaining about the nausea by the way! Far from it. Of course it's never something you enjoy but at the same time any proof that I'm pregnant is joyous to me. It was just a bit weird about the rolling sensation but google says it's fairly common. We eat mostly vegan + some fish so I will keep an eye on the iron.

Turquoise I wondered about IVF/ICSI too. I think you are right to push for more rather than wait. It took a year for my RMC appt to happen because I didn't follow stuff up when no appt came (due to GP error) and at 41 I shouldn't have let it slide. If you can afford a private consultation I'd go for it.

@TurquoiseDress really sorry to hear your news, i guess there is some hope as you did manage to fall pregnant before. That sucks about the ivf! Could you borrow the money?

@AnneLovesGilbert I'm hoping that is an implantation dip for you - looking good! Weird about the CD13 or 17 ov though?? I think ff might be wrong and you ovulated CD13.. anyway that would make you many dpo now.. you could test?? Sorry I'm a bad influence!

Cd2 (well kind of, given af started late last night) has been an absolute bitch to me. Worst cramps ever. Tomorrow should be better. Feeling weepy this afternoon and argued with DH over something pointless. Ok now - cooking dinner in our holiday house with 🍷

@NoCatsHere hi cycle buddy!

Sorry x post turquoise. I saw another Mn post earlier talking about clinics abroad - there is one called Reprofit in Czech Republic which costs much less. It might be something to consider.

I hope I'm in the right place!

I mmc in July and found out the day before my 12 week scan. Took OPKs a couple of weeks ago and seemed to have just caught a surge, however I had only just stopped bleeding at that point so it's a bit hit and miss. I'm 9dpo atm and I'm just really trying not to think about it, but it's all I seem to think about at the same time.

I'm really sorry that you've all gone through this shitty situation.

@MsJuniper
@TheGrumpySquirrel

Thanks for the messages.

It's very surreal to be thinking that we'll maybe need some intervention and maybe even IVF (I know practically zero about what's involved)

All very hard to take in.
I became pregnant straight away-twice- after coming off the combined pill aged 34 and then 37.

We've never had to TTC until we started again after the MMC last summer.

(I hope that doesn't come across as smug or anything, it's more to illustrate that I had no clue about TTC, testing, OPKs etc despite having 2 previous pregnancies)

Could it just be a fluke twice or maybe DH's sperm has gone properly downhill over the last year?!

I was googling this afternoon and read about how poor sperm morphology can be linked to miscarriage. Basically a dodgy sperm gets in there and fertilises an egg but it's never going to succeed.

Mother Nature needs to sort that shit out!

As for borrowing money we've already got loans from both sides of the family.

If it came to it we'd use credit cards or loans from our banks- but only once we manage to get a mortgage sorted!

I think we need to prioritise getting a roof over the heads of LO is here already (for now)

Definitely think we'll go private for an initial consultation/further explanation- but only if an NHS will take months & months. We'll see

anne i'm clueless about charts but i so hope it all looks good for you.

juniper good luck tomorrow for your scan.

turquoise that is massively sucky. can you improve DH sperm through diet or hi trying to quit smoking? Otherwise i agree with other advice, maybe see what other options you have.

Who else here is on Ubiquinol? I'm going to give it a whirl for 3 months maybe but holy crap it's expensive isn't it??!!!

Oh grumpy, I'm sorry you're having such a shit af. So unfair on holiday but try and put the row behind you and have a nice evening. Enjoy your wine!

If I'd ovd on cd13 I'd be 12dpo today.

Symptom tastic which so often turns out to be naffing af. My sense of smell is so strong I got a whiff of something lemony like citronella earlier which I mentioned to DH. Totally forgot about it till he opened a cardboard box which was delivered today and it was ant killer is a plastic bag, inside the box. Nearly gagged at the smell of the washing machine too. But this has happened every month since I started getting pregnant a year ago. Likewise sore boobs and the odd tummy twinge, high soft cervix and creamy cm. I've had of this and ended up pregnant, likewise had the lot and then got af. Talk about not being able to trust my body!

But we went for a brisk walk/occasional jog this evening for the first time in ages and it was brilliant. Maybe this time I'll stick to it! And good to have health goals whether I'm knocked up or not.

Sorry, missed a few posts. Our broadband is switching over this evening and signal sucks!

It's not smug at all turquoise! It's galling when it used to seem so fucking easy . Took us 7 months for first bfp which was a crappy but we were getting married and buying a house so we had plenty on. Lost that couple of days later, then caught twice in a row, mmc one in September and then one in Feb. And now nothing. I know it's still not that long but we've been ttc for 20 odd months and still no baby but a lot of crappy times in between. You have a lot of grace in your struggles, I think you're excellent x

Hahaha, Anne, you get all the fun tools to play with!

My chart looks possibly triphasic. Trying not to be a HT but but...

I don't think I should test until the weekend. But I might cave before then.

NoCats I was on ubiquinol although only for one cycle.

These:

Ubiquinol 200mg 30 Softgels EAF CoQ10 (Enhanced Absorption Formula Coenzyme Q10 as Kaneka QH) https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00LFVDK1E/ref=cmswwrcppapip_4fOrmwtch6KeW

@NoCatsHere
I took Ubiquinol from last November to Easter, can't remember what dose it was. Gave up taking them once I finished the supply.

A few days ago I got a new supply of mega-expensive ones- I paid something like £35 for pot of 30

@MsJuniper
The link you've put up at the exact same ingredients that are in mine...but I paid quite a bit more with the Drs Best brand.

I was feeling desperate and trying to do something positive

@NoCatsHere
I've been on the case googling for supplements that DH could take.

He bloody should give up smoking (I know, it's not that easy) but it seems like quite a few of his close friends have quit over the last year or so, they were heavy smokers so it's kind of amazing they have!

And one of them smoked all the way through TTC (took a year) and all through pregnancy (healthy baby luckily)

But hey that's a thread for another time