TTC After MC 12: Hopeful Twats and Emotional Wrecks welcome!

[BertieBotts]

Come one, come all, new and old, no-one wants to be here, but at least we're glad we've got each other :)

Hope your stay here is short.

Now, some BFPs if you please and BFNs for those who are waiting for them too!

Hi isthis sorry you find yourself here; that must have been very tough with the timing.

We always use pre-seed (anyone else?) as it's supposed to be helpful so I'm not sure really whether I am drier overall.

We've just been talking about the book It Starts With The Egg which you might find useful. Did they say to start trying again straight away after the hysteroscopy? I thought I'd read that it might act in a similar way to a scratch in assisting implantation.

Welcome isthis, sorry for your loss and sorry you have to be here. I was a bit drier I think but everything has been all over the place post miscarriage. Not sure my body has known which way is up some months.

I too use pre-seed, MsJuniper. A word to the uninitiated, though, if you do decide to try it; use about a quarter of the recommended amount. Otherwise you will end up swimming around in it. And that is most definitely not sexy.

Hi MsJuniper and StepAwayFromGoogle I've used both pre seed and conceive plus in the past. Just invested in some yes baby which is 100% organic. My reflexologist also swears it got her pregnant after 2 years ttc. I feel everything is definitely drier still though

My Hysteroscopy included implantation cuts so I was told to go for it asap on the ttc. I watched a video after (such a special popcorn monent) and they literally cut a space out of what was basically all dead scar tissue. Consultant said there was nothing for an embryo to implant into!

Oh God, ISWTE!!! I have a real love/hate relationship with that book. I still blame it for my crushing sense of guilt every time I can't afford to buy everything organic. I also hold it responsible for me spending the equivalent of the national debt on ubiquinol, dhea etc

Sorry for your losses isthis and em (flowers). I am definitely drier after miscarriage although I did get a couple of days of EWCM before i ovulated (according to my temperature).
Im feeling quite annoyed with myself that i totally missed the ovulation boat as i thought id ovulated CD12 after mc as i had blatant ovary pain. It seems i was wrong though and now I'm 8DPO and currently hoping i don't have a short luteal phase! I have never in my 40 years paid much attention to my cycle until now so i have no idea how long it usually is. I think I'm now at the point where i will dance a jig when AF finally gets here (after 10DPO please) Just want to feel like my womb is working again if you know what i mean.
Ive got conceive plus. Have yet to try it out. I have also been googling my life away for conceiving tips. I have joked about moon cups before but like someone said on here a while ago 'I'm willing to chuck the kitchen sink at this' and ill try anything that might help. At the risk of getting personal lol, has anyone tried this method of keeping sperm close to cervix after sex? or am i being ridiculously desperate?

Just a quick question... After reading about folate/folic acid.... Is 1000mcg folate ok to get out is 400mcg better? Not sure which one to go for? 😳

isthis I know what you mean about ISWTE; was glad I found it cause it felt like I was doing something but after 2 months of it, I'm finding it tedious and it's making me feel guilty every time I take a bloody receipt! Plus it takes me hours trying to figure out what I should have for lunch; shop workers think I'm a weirdo!

Going to start using OPK's for the first time this cycle (was going to use last time but thought I was supposed to use when I guessed I was ovulating.will actually read the instructions this time!!) A lot of people talk about temping as well though. Is this something people recommend or should I start with OPK first? Are there any 'beginners temping' links that people could recommend? I use glow to track my cycle instead of FF that I see a lot of people use though so maybe in need to switch as well?Thanks!

I'm on my second month of temping. Grabbed a bbt thermometer off Amazon, use free FF app and was good to go. I also read Taking charge of your fertility which I found very informative and super easy to read. But it's basically temping and charting cm, and I've been doing the latter for a while and find it easy.

There are some experts on here who've really helped me. I don't use opks as I have clear ov symptoms but temping is a nice way to conform ov has happened. Well, fx I get that in the morning!

6dpo today, possibly 7, and getting antsy. I POAS which was dumb, but the second week of the TWW is just awful for me. I'm already convinced I'm out so the tiny bit of hope is annoying me. Also convinced I can see a shadow on this test which isn't helping! On the plus side, 2 days till I am off work for 19 days 😁

I have a mooncup so I thought I'd try it once, though I don't think it really works, I think any sperm which is propelled through the cervix initially gets through and anything else is going to fall out regardless. Same point for lying with pelvis elevated BTW. I assume it's different if you have a process of manual insemination as there's no "ejaculation"? Or perhaps they just do it to make you feel better! It can feel a bit alarming when a load of sperm comes out at once but I really do think that's just the excess.

The mooncup technique was smelly and not very pleasant so I never repeated it.

The free course on Fertility Friend's app is really great. But yeah basically just buy a digital thermometer, try to take your temperature as soon as you wake up, input into fertility friend (I don't know if Glow is any good or not. I know Ovia is rubbish.) and let it do its thing. If you go onto fertility friend's desktop site there's a way to input data from previous cycles if you wish.

Grumpy I see what you mean but be careful you're not seeing the dip where the dye would be pulled into if it was positive. If it's a cheapy test I found that happened quite a bit.

Hi everyone, Hope you're all doing ok. I've been quiet for a bit on all forms of communication as was becoming a bit obsessed with it all! Much as it's lovely to see familiar names here, i would much rather be chatting with you all on another forum. Nothing much had changed with me, still a HP though. Due date would have been this weekend and I'm dreading it. I'm going away with friends but i just wish i could curl up into a ball and cry, but will go and put on the "game face". We had agreed we would try IVF if nothing had happened by September but we're in the process of buying a new house so I'm scared DH is going to say no, i can't bear to bring it up in case he does.

I haven't read all of the posts but Lime, congratulations and i hope the next 8 months are plain sailing. em, I'm so sorry, what a rough ride you've had. Flowers (my emoj thingy isn't working!) to everyone else, old and new.

Hello everyone.
anne hope your charts are playing all this morning.
grumpy i'm afraid i can't see anything, i really wish i could. I've just the same thing on my test this morning. it was only an ic and I'm on cd25 when my cycles are normally 28-30 days long. of course i don't believe it now, and am saving up my pee to waste on a more expensive test. Although i fully expect it to be negative as well. the cheap was glowing white... If that is neg I'm ordering more tablets and ISWTE book as well. I feel very disappointed this month, more so than the last two as i had the excuse that my body wasn't ready after the mc, or maybe i hadn't ov. This month though its just bad crappy luck.

Re. ISWTE, I have to say I took the first chapter with a fair pinch of salt. I mean, I did consider buying lots of glass jars for my pasta but that was partly to indulge my fantasy of being Nigella. I just used it for the supplements section and the diet, as we eat mainly vegan food (plus some fish) so I wanted to be sure I was getting all my nutrients.

I have to admit we always do the cushion under bum routine after sex and I wait for 10-20 mins before going to the loo. But I agree that either it goes in or it doesn't!

Hi swimchick. Nice to see you back but sorry you're still here too!

Maybe you can look into the IVF after the house.

Hey swim, good luck with the house! Nice to see you, but agree it would be nice to be able to chat elsewhere.

Thanks NoCats, yep, got a dotted crosshairs this morning for last Thursday, CD13 and when I was sure it had happened and a massive rise, phew!

Thanks for listening to me rant insanely. Doesn't take much for me to decide my body is faulty and it's all gone terribly wrong and I'm not cut out for making babies! But feeling more level today, if crampy as hell! Was so bloated last night and really low painful period type cramping. Was 4DPO so can't be anything.

Sorry you're feeling low, nothing like the bright blankness of a BFN, just shit.

Really sorry I can't see anything either grumpy, but it's super early. Excited for your holiday? Sounds like you'll have a really good long break and I'm sure you said you'd hit FW towards the end if this isn't the cycle.

How are you today Juniper?

em, hope you're cosily at home with a cuppa and have a few more days to rest.

Glad to hear all good Bertie, have a lovely week

I use a moon cup for af and usually have to squat down to get it in. Can only imagine squatting down immediately post DTD would result in most of it ending up on the bathroom floor before I got the cup in to contain it. I agree that the good ones are going to make it and you don't want the lazy ones anyway! But nothing wrong with trying new things.

Oh, and on lube, we definitely conceived one cycle using conceive+, which I accidentally got thinking it was the much lauded preseed. But conceived twice without it and used it loads and then not conceived, so not sure it's done anything much.

Taking charge of your fertility includes a pretty mindboggling story about a couple who used actual egg white for DTD. The first time they tried it they used an egg from the fridge and it was so cold she burst out laughing and it shot straight back out of her. Apparently a room temperature egg is better!

(like all her stories in the book, it obviously worked first time, they now have an 18 year old....)

I've tried preseed, but looking carefully at the packet I think a lot of people have misunderstood what it actually claims. The company's claim is that it is the only lubricant that doesn't harm sperm - not that it is actively helping them. So if you'd usually use a lube (including saliva!) then switching to preseed is a good idea, but the company itself don't actually claim that it's better than using nothing.

Question about temp charting:

I sleep terribly so I'm usually up (for a wee or a wander) several times a night. I've read you're supposed to take temp after several hours in bed before you get up. Would me getting up a lot disrupt it? I've never bothered temping before...

Anat they say to do it after your 'longest sleep', so if you, say, sleep from 11pm-4am, and then wake up again at 5am before finally getting up at 7am it would ideally be better to temp at 4am than at 7am - but I know that might not be convenient! I reckon (I'm no expert, but have been temping for a while now) pick a method - either after your longest sleep or at a set time every day - and then stick to it. You'll probably get more ups and downs in your chart than someone with a 'normal' sleeping pattern, but I'm sure it won't affect it so much that you can't see the ovulation pattern at all.

I can see the shadow Grumpy. But I think it's definitely a case of wait 2 days and try again!

I conceived ds with conceive plus. I've not needed to use it since taking eve primrose up to ov - that really worked for me. Might try it next cycle though.

ok i'm definitely out this month. Just did a FRER and it was a BFN. Feeling so very sad right now...what a pile of shit this ttc lark is. Fully expect af in a 2/3 days. Just realised as well that my next fertile window is exactly when we are away camping with friends and kids so absolutely zero chance of any helpful dtd time. Will just have to try before we go and hope for the best. These months seem to drag and rush past in equal measures. Sorry for the massive downer everyone.

Ah I'm sorry NoCats. That is frustrating about the timing of next cycle too.

Anne that looks pretty definitive on the temping front. I used to temp but I got stressed about waking in the night and I couldn't see a pattern but I probably should have stuck with it.

Lisa I know what you mean about preseed, I think with that and fertility vitamins a lot of the amazon comments are "it worked for us" when actually it is not a magical fertility booster, just something which won't harm your chances (or in the case of the vits will look after some of your nutritional needs). But if you are worried about dryness it is supposed to mimic the natural state which is hopefully helpful.

NoCats hugs So sorry. Feels like each BFN cycle is such a waste of time, it's gutting x

Thanks Juniper. I've grown quite dependent on it and very quickly!

Ana I've read you need 3 hours of steady sleep beforehand, so like Lisa says, if that means taking it between two sleeps but after a longer one, then that makes sense. I have nights when I wake up, though I don't usually get up, but haven't found it's made much difference.

msjuniper I think a lot of the time people assume that whatever they did before their bfp 'worked', but actually it was random chance. I've been thinking about this a lot with recurrent miscarriage treatment, too - the odds are so good for a successful next pregnancy with no treatment that I wonder a lot whether the logical thing is to do nothing, and whether a lot of people's 'miracle cures' are pure coincidence. But then I have to live with that decision if I lose again.