We're ovulating again, so let's jump our men. It's TTC after miscarriage thread 11

[Lime19]

Not sure if I should start new thread for this? Is there one open already?

Ekp jet lag shouldn't cause early miscarriage.. I know someone who didn't realise they were pregnant went to USA went on roller coasters had a few drinks and when the came home realised they were about 10 weeks pregnant.. They now have a very happy healthy 10 year old.. I use this as my reminder that good things can happen and can work out... She had struggled to get pregnant after first child and this wee one was a total surprise - 18 years later...

Thanks ekp.. I think I'll try taking it with lunch ... I don't eat a huge amount at breakfast

Thanks smurf. I know a good egg will implant no matter what! I think you get nervous after a couple of mc's.

Is it ok if I join back in with this thread even though I'm not currently TTC? I know this is weird (and maybe a bit sad!) but I miss having a regular group to post in!

My details: 30, no children. Three MC: 5wks (February), 5wks (April), 7 wks MMC (stopped developing at 5 wks) (June). Now about to start recurrent miscarriage testing - had first meeting with doctor at hospital about this but all tests won't be done and results back until October(ish). Told not to TTC until then. Am hoping to also get NK cells testing done at Coventry in that time. Which means still monitoring ovulation and all that, so no hope of just 'forgetting about it all' (which I'm finding impossible anyway).

Sorry if it is weird to be here but not actually TTC - have been in one thread or another for quite a while now (we started trying last August) and I miss the companionship, keeping up with other people's news good and bad, etc.!

Ekp I know what you mean!! I also think it is much easier to be positive towards others but more difficult to remember those positives when I'm thinking about my self!!

Lisa of course, you are very welcome here though I'm so sorry for your losses hope you get some answers soon!

I have dispersible stuff too which says to dissolve it but pharmacist said fine to swallow it so I take it with my conception/folic vit, probiotic, vit d, with/after food, with a lot of water and leave it half an hour to have a hot drink. Haven't had any side effects and I take it at all kinds of day!

You're more than welcome lisa and I'm so so sorry for all of your losses. Are you referring yourself to Coventry?

Sounds really rough lime, I hope it buggers off soon. Definitely get some iron, the liquid stuff is gentler on your tummy. Take it with vitamin C which helps it absorb. Bleeding like knocks you out and it's so exhausting. Sorry xxx

Your holiday will be amazing ek, makes such a difference having something great to look forward to!

Yes I do think that unless you're doing massively unsafe things - scalding baths, taking certain herbs/drugs known to be abortifacient etc, it's pretty hard to shift an egg/foetus which is meant to be there.

Whereas the ones which aren't... they don't tend to hang on no matter how careful you are :( So best to just live life as normal unless you've had specific medical indication that you're a special case (e.g. some women have irritable cervices which open very easily, which can be helped with bed rest.)

Forgot to say no I don't bother paying for Fertility Friend, I get the impression the paid for things are quite gimmicky, things like comparing charts, it wouldn't actually make any difference, it works for my purposes. If you follow them on Twitter though they sometimes run competitions to win free days/months or a code for half price.

My temp has shot up today at 7dpo but it might be because I took it at about 10am.

Thanks for the welcome all! I was on this thread a while ago, after the second MC. Yes, I am referring myself Anne - I rang them to ask about it and they said to get in touch when I ovulated and they'd book me in (tests have to be done at 7-10dpo). Whether that can be August or whether I'll have to wait until September depends on when my period comes (still waiting on my first one since the last MC) and then when I ovulate as you have to be two months post-miscarriage. You then have it done again the next cycle.

To add to bertie - I did pay for the full version of Fertility Friend and regret it. I agree that you really don't get much more for your money.

Lisa, of course you're welcome here. I haven't been ttc while I have all my tests for recurrent miscarriage and have been hanging around the thread. These ladies are a lovely bunch.

Speaking of which, I'm so impressed with all the charting and temping going on! I thought I was really on it buying an opk this month. I got the clearblue one which I nearly had to remortgage to afford?! Basically chose it because it is idiot-proof i.e. smiley face = dtd. Even I can follow that.

I got a smiley face this morning and now... I'm hesitating. I'm still waiting for the results of half of my blood tests. The consultant said to keep trying but what if the bloods show something and I get pregnant? She said to call if I get a bfp but surely that would be too late? Don't know if I could go through another miscarriage. I keep thinking that I haven't got time to waste because I'm 40 but then surely one month isn't going to make the difference? More likely the 20 years in front of it... What do you think?

Anne, definitely bumps are harder than babies. What's that all about? If I notice one more woman at work with an emerging bump I'm going to go nuts. I saw a friend last night who is also having problems having her second and she said when people announce now she wants to shout "That's not fair! It's my turn!". TOTALLY get where she's coming from.

Thanks bertie, voice of reason. I do know all of that, anxiety niggles!

I did pay for ff in the end. I don't think you need it tbh. I used 'MyDays' free version with my ds successfully. I'd didn't keep the data sadly but I didn't know about screen shotting then! FF does seem to even if free; I appear to have some basic cycles recorded from 2011! I must have briefly tried it back then.

Bumps are definitely harder. Seeing my SIL next week, she announced 2 weeks after we announced our first pregnancy. It feels like she's having my baby.

How nuts is that?!

Smurf, here is that nasal spray.

Stepaway, if medical advice is that you can continue to ttc and report to them when you get a bfp then I'd personally be going for it. I presume that's because they're pretty certain that if they find something, they can begin treating you from that bfp. A friend of mine was having tests, continued to ttc, fell pregnant and then at about 10 weeks was diagnosed with a blood clotting issue. She was prescribed injections and is now about to drop following two mc's previously. So it worked out well for her continuing whilst having tests. I guess as it's medically ok, you just need to do what you feel is right for you.

Yellow, that sounds tough, I'm sorry. Does she know about your second mc? Can you postpone if you're not ready to see her? Make sure you look after your mental as well as physical health x

Feeling tired and queasy today. Also spotty faced which tends to happen pre AF! Just so unprepared for how I'll feel if it's a BFP. I cant even imagine a baby right now, even if I'm pregnant, probably because of what happened last time. Also don't believe it could possibly have worked this month (probably another self defence mechanism).

I've only got one FRER left which I'm saving for mon/tue but I think I can test using one of my CBFM pregnancy test sticks tomorrow morning.

@emvy they do know about the second. But I've been avoiding them for months now & it's DH's Dad's bday, an unavoidable event.
I'll try & be brave.
It's tricky because they've always been quite vocal about their 'meh'-ness over having children, they've both confessed that they're worried about how a baby will impact on their holidays etc.

It's hard not to feel a teeny bit bitter, but I'd not wish our predicament on anyone.

Urgh af is here. Caught me by surprise as only a 25 day cycle. I'm a little happy it's started without spotting this time and because it's shorter but still hacked off it's another month not pregnant. Going to eat a lot of chocolate tonight and feel sorry for myself. Might fire up the CBFM this month and throw money at the problem....

Oh that's thoughtless of them yellow. So, so many people just don't understand how difficult mc is, let alone when they throw in thoughtless comments on top. I really hope they keep any to themselves this time and you're able to enjoy yourself somewhat. Of course you'd never wish it upon anyone but being gracious and thankful for a pregnancy in front of someone who has suffered a mc seems like the least they can do. We'll be here for you vent afterwards x

Nocats, sorry af got you

If my horrendous period is here now... what are the chances it's here by the time it's my sisters wedding (4 weeks time). It's going to be that awkward time too (can I drink, what if I'm pregnant)... thanks universe... sigh. One more gift to mess everything up. Miscarriage really is the gift that keeps on giving. I would be 20 weeks now and had pictured myself in a beautiful maternity dress for her big day. Now instead I'm frantically dieting and exercising to drop a few pounds so I look half decent in pictures.

@Lime19 I have 3 weddings coming up this year, I planned to borrow my friend's evening maternity dresses. Now I can't even begin to think about what to bloody wear. Bloody weddings.

Miscarriage: the joy and time thief!

@yellowfrontdoor - I'm in a very similar situtation; my brother and his girlfriend found out about their (very much unplanned) pregnancy a couple of days after my first miscarriage. At the time I was surprised by how ok with it I was, but to be honest it's got much harder with time and the subsequent losses. She's due ten days before I would be if the first one had worked out, and it's so hard looking at that bump and thinking of what could have been. When the doctor said not to TTC until after we got the results back pretty much my first thought was 'but that means I definitely won't be pregnant when SIL gives birth'. I think I had (naively) completely assumed I would be pregnant again by October (with one that stuck). I am lucky that they've been really sensitive around me (they know about two of the three losses) - I think SIL is making a real effort to not do much baby talk around me and to never complain, which is sweet and appreciated. It must be so much harder if that effort isn't being made.

@stepawayfromthegoogle that's exactly what DH said when I told him about my brother's news: 'What?! But he's younger than you! It's our turn first!'

Would you guys humour me with some cycle science / guesswork? Trying to figure out the likely length of this cycle / my luteal phase.

Pre-pill cycles: 30 days
Mini pill: no periods for years
Came off pill 26 December 2016

Jan - Cycle 1: 35 days from stopping pill
Feb - Cycle 2: 33 days
March - Cycle 3: ovulated on CD15, BFP 10dpo

May 13: started spotting
May 17: MC completed

Cycle 1 post MC: couldn't pinpoint ovulation as never got a positive OPK

June 17: got AF, CD1 of cycle 2.

Currently on CD29, got positive OPK on CD18 & CD19.

I'm assuming AF is due Monday 17 July but maybe it should be later??

Lots to catch up on

Welcome back @LisaSimpsonsbff
Got my fingers crossed for you @TheGrumpySquirrel

I was temping before my mc, it was what led me to take a test really.

I'd been temping for a few months but used to stop once ov was confirmed, the first time I carried on was when I got me BFP as it stayed high.

Does anyone know how soon the temp drops before period? Like if it's still high 10dpo you are probably pregnant? Or it could drop literally the day of AF

@TheGrumpySquirrel for what it's worth my temp was up at 10dpo. Stopped temping after that