Thread 30, TTC #1 | Hilda hopefuls are still riding the shag wagon

[Jamon]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.


We've been going a while now so the novelty has well and truly worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!


Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...


Key:
HS - have/had sex
GOS - good old shag
ELH - enthusiastic lavatory happenings
LSFX - legs spread, fingers crossed

Basset it might be nice having a month off?

Bloody hell thats a lot pyjamas mine was £50 per session and in central London!

The lump is still there but it's very tiny. I'm cross that the bloody fanjo wand comes out at every opportunity but no physical examination is done on men this does not seem right. I am going to wait until he gets home /zen and approach it gently. He will say "no way" and I'll book us an appointment with the consultant. I'm sorry but if I'm going to endure IVF the least he can do is get his balls checked out.

In terms of his thoughts and feelings - I think he's in massive denial. He is sticking his head well and truly in the sand fingers in his ears singing lalalalala. I think also deep down he is nervous about having a baby but the last time he said that I told him I'd leave if he said it ever again. I think this was partly the clomid crazy haze came down , in my defence, but also I have absolutely no time for his fears about having a baby when we've been trying 18 months with no success and said baby is looking less and less likely like ever happening. I just feel like we are poles apart on the whole thing. I feel really alone and have told him this several times. He doesn't seem to be able to snap out of it.

Counselling session is booked but first available appointment was 1 August 🙄😔

August will be here in no time jam. I get counselling when my IUI starts and I am looking forward to it. My oh is quite vocal about his feelings but I still think it will be good to have at least 1 session together.

We have both decided to take the relaxed approach this month as the last few months have been really stressful and tiring. I didn't use opks or temp for 2 years ttc and eventually got a bfp. I only started using them in march after my mc and honestly they've made me obsessed and crazed so I am looking forward to taking a step back and continuing to dtd every 2 days if not more. I'm on cd 7 so I'll be upping the gos in the coming week and a half lol!

Hi all. Sorry been off the grid for a while. So much to catch up on.

kerry hope the IUI was successful. Where are you having your treatment ?

Congrats scandalicity really hope this one works out for you. At least you don't have to wait ages for a scan although I'm sure it will seem like forever!

pyjamas hope the house valuation goes well and good luck with ivf prep. Hopefully you'll get a BFP and won't need it!

jamon Good that you had the fb chat with your friend who went through ivf. It really is tough and no one else really understands unless they've been through it themselves. Hope the counseling appointment helps, shame it's not sooner. Can your DH see his GP about the lump?

basset hope you can get your thyroid sorted asap

binky when are you testing? When's af due?

mouse yay for getting the green light. Relaxed approach sounds great. Fingers crossed!

love relaxed approach sounds great. Fingers crossed!

So I'm on CD12 and had a scan today which showed 2 large follicles. I'm going to have a trigger shot on sun night and hopefully will ovulate late mon/tue morning. Really really hope this cycle works!

Hi everyone.

jam I hope you're ok, sounds like things have been really tough. I know what it's like incessantly googling for possible causes/answers - it can totally drive you mad. It's definitely worth your DH getting checked out though and I hope he is receptive to the idea.

kerry how are you feeling?

Exciting news on the trigger shot otters!

I've just had my fifth day of flashing smileys on clearblue opk...getting fed up now! My ic opk last night was almost positive, so wondering whether I'll get the surge later today. This week has been total hell for me at work - I've been getting in at 6am and leaving after midnight every night so I'm expecting this to have played havoc with my body. Really hope I actually ovulate this month now.

Otters - at my local NHS hospital - the staff there are amazing. Good luck with your treatment!

Harriet - that happens to me too with the clear blue ones, so frustrating! I'm feeling fine thanks although had a few baby bombs in the past few days:

Oops that posted before I meant it to. Anyway I'm trying to be positive and relaxed but not get my hopes up too high.

Hi ladies,
Sorry I've not been around much - sort of a self preservation thing as think i was getting obsessive and neglecting the rest of my life. And now I'm here asking for help

My DH phoned GP today to ask if his SA results were in, they confirmed that there were, they've been analysed by a doctor and he needs to make an appointment - does this mean that there is something to be worried about or is it standard procedure? He can't get an appointment until Monday (honestly GP surgery opening hours are not helping our TTC efforts at all!) and obviously we are both extremely concerned.

I promise I will catch up soon but in the meantime - can anyone help me?

Flora I don't have any direct experience of this, but my experience of results in general is usually that they will tell you everything is fine over the phone if it is.

Having said that, as they know you are TTC, his results might well be fine but they want to speak to him to make suggestions as to what to try next/just explain things in more detail.

I know this isn't much help but didn't want to leave you hanging.

Could he get a telephone appointment today with the Dr?

Just a quick one but flora get him to call back and ask for the exact numbers / results from reception. They gave ours out over the phone. Fx

Thanks for the responses ladies. Unfortunately they won't tell him anything over the phone and he has to wait until Monday. He's reeling and has taken himself home from work for the day.

Oh god love him. I can't believe they won't give him any more information. I wonder if he went in person he could get them? I think legally you can demand a print out of your own test results.

Yes I think Jam is right. They don't have to give them out over the phone but you can request copies of any medical documents relating to you.

I was told even letters written from one Doctor to another about you. They don't usually send them to you but you can ask for a copy.

Thanks ladies. I've said this to him so will see what he does. It's just so brutal eh?!

Hi ladies,
Hope everyone's ok. Haven't been on the thread for quite some time now. Last time I came on we were deciding whether or not to go down ivf route. Anyway, had appt with consultant, had all recurrent mc tests done all ok but he wanted to do sperm fragmentation test on dh which has come back high at 50%. At the appt, he recommended icsi as I've only got one tube because of previous ectopic and dh's sperm morph was low. We've had two mc's in 18months but obviously quite far apart so suggests this is why it's taking some time. We're both massively struggling with it now and I just feel like I don't care about anything any more and have got myself into a massive rut. Am only one in my friends and dh's without children and lots of pregnant friends. Am now really worried again. Does anyone know anything about sperm DNA fragmentation? Thank you

Sorry I don't have any experience Chlo but sorry you are so worried.

It is rather brutal. And to say you have to wait until Monday giving you the whole weekend to worry :( I really hope its something minor flora, and it's also one GP's interpretation. When my DH had his private SA it came back saying "this couple requires IVF with ICSI" - but when we took it to the GP they said no you should be able to conceive naturally - and now our consultant is saying we are unexplained. I appreciate it's almost impossible not to worry though. I hope you can keep each other distracted this weekend, if he isn't able to get any info out of them today.

Chlo sorry you've been having such a hard time. It's horribly hard not being able to progress with life the way you wanted, especially when you see your friends moving onto it. I feel very similarly. That's positive news about your mc tests - do they think they might have been related to the sperm DNA issue? It sounds like ICSI could help you if this is the case. How do you feel about having IVF? I'm pretty sure this is the route we will go down. It's not what anyone wants is it, but at least it is an option. Hang in there xx

Flora - what terrible timing! Our results were given over the phone too (just told 'normal') so it does seem likely there's something that has been identified if they want him to go in.

many infertile people never get a definitive diagnosis. If there is an issue with his sperm, hopefully it can be sorted out and you can get pregnant. ❤️

Thanks for the support ladies. I don't really feel like I can discuss it in RL with many people any more as people don't really understand unless they've been in this situation which is totally understandable and they mean well but when people keep saying it'll you be you next or you've got to stay positive, it's pretty tough to keep smiling and nodding.

We got the results in the post and no further explanation so we will obviously have to discuss at our appt next week but I've googled and it says it makes it harder to get pregnant and is linked to miscarriage. In a way perhaps it's better if it is the cause as such as then we can have the treatment and hopefully it will help, rather than carrying on blindly and it happening again. I don't really know how I feel about it... I never thought I would need it but then I suppose no-one ever really thinks they will do they? And as you say, it's not the route anyone really wants to go down but if it's a means to an end, then so be it really. The consultant did recommend ICSI in our first appointment so hoping we'll just carry on down that route. He seemed very positive and said obviously you know you can get pregnant, it's happened more than once and that's half of the battle you just need a helping hand. I guess these results have just really worried me and yes we have got pregnant naturally twice but I'm just concerned now in case the issue with the sperm means it won't ever progress. No point worrying I guess but so hard not to!

What are your next steps Jamon? That's confusing that you've had different diagnoses from different consultants/doctor. Are you going to continue down the private route or NHS? I've been reading the book his and hers guide to IVF which is really good as it's told from a normal couple's perspective so found that quite reassuring. x

Jamon so sorry to hear of the inconsistent messages you're getting.

100% agree regarding talking to people in real life about it. People have no idea unless they've been through this. I wouldn't have had a clue if this hadn't happened to me. It was a massive relief to me to have that Facebook chat with my uni friend who conceived through IVF. She described how it had made her feel and I could have written it word for word. She said it feels like a lifetime ago now she has her little boy. So even if we do have to have IVF - hopefully that will be our route to being mummies too and it will all be worth it.

That's good your consultant was so positive and doesn't doubt you'll get there. If your DH has sperm problems then with ICSI they can select a healthy one and hopefully that can bypass it.

I'm not sure if we will end up with ICSI. Morphology is a really grey area. They changed the scale they use to judge sperm morphology a few years ago and some doctors think it's become too strict in criteria. Hence why only 4% normal forms is deemed normal! It seems a bit mental. My DH had 2% then 1% and our consultant said IVF ICSI for you. Then he had two further tests and got 4% so they said you are now unexplained. I still think the morphology is causing problems, but who knows. Some people don't conceive naturally and all of their tests are perfect - so it's a mystery.

Next steps for us are take clomid again next month and carry on waiting for NHS IVF to start in October... seems such a long way off!

Well ladies I do have an overactive thyroid. Got the blood test done at lunch. Dr rang back at 6 so got another app on monday morning. Been told to watch my symptoms and if any get worse to go to out of hours dr. At least they have taken it seriously. Bit worried they were that desperate to get me in.

harriet hope you ovulate this month. I get endless flashing smileys, I've given up with them now.

flora I can't believe he has to wait till Monday. Your poor DH. I'm not too sure but it might be that there's something wrong hence not wanting to give results over the phone.

chlo sorry you're having such a tough time. Can totally sympathise. Unfortunately I don't know anything about sperm DNA fragmentation.

jamon hope the clomid works for you. At least you have ivf lined up for October.

basset glad the doctors are taking it seriously. Hope your thyroid gets sorted quickly.

Hey was just passing by and flora I know this feeling. Our doc rang DP the day before we went on holiday and said the same thing you need to book in. Obviously couldn't get in before holiday and had to wait over a week. DP was stressing out so rang doc and said look I need to know what's wrong I can't stop thinking about it. Doc said we just need to go through them and its nothing serious.
Went back and he went through them and it was the agglutination thing and discussed way forward. Which looking back was better than him telling us a load of numbers over the phone and then using Dr google.
Could be two things - there's nothing wrong and he wants to go through them and maybe booked the next set if tests (for you)? Or there is something wrong - but remember it could be something minor, at least then you would have some answers and can work with that. Hope you're OK and the weekend isn't dragging too much.

Thanks Eva - I did remember your story and told DH as much. We are having a busy weekend so hopefully he's not dwelling on it to much - however - we were at a dinner thing last night and someone asked me when the baby was due not a stealth boast but a) I'm a size 10 b) I'd just eaten an 8 course meal and c) I was just telling her about how nice my gin cocktail was?! Sakes....