Thread 30, TTC #1 | Hilda hopefuls are still riding the shag wagon

[Jamon]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.


We've been going a while now so the novelty has well and truly worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!


Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...


Key:
HS - have/had sex
GOS - good old shag
ELH - enthusiastic lavatory happenings
LSFX - legs spread, fingers crossed

FFS Hep - you well could be done without that. How did the negotiation go?

lemon. I hate BFNs. I actually don't even test at all anymore.

Hope the appointment goes OK Binky - please let us know!

Jam - thought your final line there was going to be that your mate with the drug addicted partner was pregnant.... so glad it was not.

Don't worry about the temping Mouse - I often sack it off during and after AF in an indignant manner...

Another lot of 21 day bloods that have come back inconclusive at proving ovulation. Looking very much like DH and I are both broken.

Really struggling to see any positives right now, everything just seems to be wrong and like it's going to be a huge uphill struggle. But I also know that we'll never give up and that potentially I've another 10 years or this crushing disappointment.

flora

I'd love to meet you all or even join a FB group as well. Having this kind of forum is just a life saver when you feel like you can't really open up about it in RL. Even when you can, it's not the same as talking to people who truly understand.

Hope you're appointment goes well today pyjamas. Is Emma Cannon a counsellor? Glad the wine made you feel a bit better :)

Good luck for the appointment today binky ,let us know how you get on.

hep and lemon I assumed DH didn't get upset by the baby bombs either and he used to act like he was ok which actually frustrated me even more and made me feel like I was in this alone but he was trying to protect me and stay strong. We had a blazing row about it and then he shoved his phone in my face and showed me all the group watsapps about it being the year of the babies and his friends saying how skint they were from buying prams etc etc and said how do you think it makes me feel? Turns out, exactly the same as me.

Sorry to hear that flora. Have you been given any insight as to why it has come back inconclusive? I wonder if there's any other tests they can do to determine for sure. Sorry if you have already tried this but Clomid seems to really work to et you ovulating.

I went to see a psychic yesterday. I didn't really think she was very good as most of it was very vague but she picked up on the whole baby thing, but again she probed and most people have lost a baby so I didn't feel like she was very good but then she said I wouldn't get pregnant until July next year and then I really wished I hadn't gone!!

Aside from that anyway, I feel a bit like I've hit a brick wall again. Everything's been going well, going to our appointments, taking charge, moving forward it feels, feeling positive, starting to be hopeful again and then I seem to fall flat on my face ... was lovely seeing my friend and the baby yesterday, it really was, but a few other girls were there as well and they were all talking about the birth and what it feels like and when the babies have their witching hour etc etc and that's when it hits me again. Sorry to be a downer. Ill pick myself up again, all of us always do but today just not feeling great or particularly positive, just missing what I don't have.

Kwick you have such a way with words 'applaud your aplomb'

Sorry lemon but it means diddly squat the clincher is AF or no AF. Fx for you

Hugs mouse four years is a long hard wait I really hope it's not much longer

Hep my husband showed his first reaction to a baby bomb recently. Agreed it definitely affects them too previously didn't think it did

Flora lovely you are not broken, not ovulating can be fixed and remember low morphology is common and considered irrelevant by many fertility specialists keep the faith xx

Finding the end of my cycle difficult as usual today. Sick of knicker checking, having a heavily pregnant women in office and colleague bringing a small baby in.

Time to regroup. I accept the outcome. What will be will be.

mouse wise words on the baby bombs, am hoping I can get to a point of being more accepting

basset good point on the yoga - do try to do some and you're right that it helps. Though don't get quite the same buzz as from a run

Finding the discussion of OH reactions really helpful, guys - I've been thinking it affects mine more than he lets on; maybe worth discussing rather than bottling up...

flora and chlo sorry you're feeling low, and totally understand. I find it really up and down in terms of TTC thoughts. You're made of strong stuff - & we're here to help you keep going xx

Love that saying jamon. It's so hard to keep picking yourself back up but we're all made of the strong stuff 👊🏻

Thanks quiet. In my experience, it definitely affects them more than they let on. I think that's why my DH kept going out and getting drunk with work colleagues, he was trying to stay in control of everything and then would just let loose!

In other news, my pup has turned into a bit of a nutter the past few days! Can't wait till he's had his injections this week and then I can take him out and socialise him and take him to puppy classes. He keeps biting me so I think he's teething (plus lots and lots of pooping!)

Chlo this is going to sound absolutely crazy!!! But when my puppy was teething last year we found a puppy teething gel from a pet shop. It was a life saver. Its also important not to make a fuss if you do get bitten coz even by pulling away it can look like playing. Hope that makes sense. I do miss my little lady being a puppy shes now nearly 15 months old and near on 25kgs!!

On the OH front luckily my oh has been quite open about how hard this is.

Lemon - sorry about your BFN, I know how terrible it is staring at one line and hoping for something (anything) else to appear.

Mouse - you're a superhero for hitting your 4 year milestone. 2 years is enough for me, I'm not sure I could retain my sanity for as long as you have. My period is absolutely fine now, thank you for asking. Should be near enough gone by Friday. Round and round we go, when it stops, nobody knows.

Fox - it won't be a never ending journey of disappointment so don't ever think that. You're having the tests done, that's the first step on your journey to obtaining your beautiful baby. They just need to find out what's wrong and fix it, don't ever give up. You have science behind you.

Chlo - no need to apologise for being down, we all get it. Social occasions like that are goddam hard, and like others have pointed out even when your friends know what you're going through they can still be insensitive. Not sure how I feel about psychics, I want to believe that it's real but when they are fishing for ideas it doesn't instil much confidence.

Jam - oooooh Jam, when is AF due. I'm crossing my fingers, toes and vagina for you.

Also, I haven't got a clue about my DH (yay I get to call him DH now!) - he doesn't ever want to talk about how he's feeling. Incidentally, I found out that my brother-in-law is having the same issues with his wife, fertility problems. He's got two kids from another marriage by understandably she wants one of her own. When I found out, I told my DH that he might want to confide in his brother...you know, have a man-chat about things but he just shrugged and said it didn't matter. Yet whenever we're out, he's brooding over every child he comes across. It must be effecting him, it must.

Thanks for the recommendation basset, he's literally chewing everything in sight today, particularly me so will have to make a trip to the pet shop. This sounds ridiculous but Ive even been beating myself up that he doesn't love me anymore because he keeps biting me and seems so excited to see other people.. I'm obviously having one of those days! Now he's snuggled up to next to me so I feel much better, what a plonker!

I'm sure it does effect him skipper, it just takes such a lot for most men to open up (I know that's stereotypical but it seems to be true.). We struggled on for ages before my DH would open up and he's got friends/work colleagues who he's gone for a beer with and it's really helped so it probably would be good for him to confide in his brother but it might take him a while to come round to the idea.

These puppy posts are almost making me want a puppy!

Such lovely wise words skipper. AF is due Friday. I'm kind of wishing it here already - I'm driving down to an event in the New Forest on Friday and I could do with it not being Day one. I've had really intense back pain today which obviously got my stupid desperate mind racing but I've no doubt my period will be here, as always.

lemon

A wise MNer (sorry I forget who) once said that whilst it is only natural to feel disappointment when someone announces their BFP, and you still have not had yours, it is not as though there is a quota and the fact that they have a BFP means you won't. I take comfort in that.

flora have they advised any treatment- so much can be done these days.

chlo we are here to hear the moans and rants

Why thank you jam it is most likely as I am from an older generation

mouse wow 4 years. Really hope your time is soon.

Oh skipper did you tie the knot whilst I was MIA?!!
I am so sorry I missed congratulating you!!!!
🥂🍾🎆🎉 CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

I want a puppy!!! So does my nephew!!! We agreed we would wait until after the baby to get one... at this rate he will be at university!!!

Morning ladies. All this puppy talk makes me want to find a friend with a puppy 😂 (can't have one myself as DH is allergic) we have dogs in the office sometimes and one is a very cute puppy that likes to run through our legs lol.

Ok so I remembered my temp this morning but I doubt it was remotely accurate since I was awake most of the night. DH kindly kissed my cheek this morning at 4am which woke me up 😂 Might have shouted at him whoops 😬

I'm going to do a cheapie OPK today. Can someone please remind me when I should do it and all the rules regarding water and holding pee? I haven't done one since November. 🤓 I have the memory of a goldfish. Thank you. 🐟

Jeezo ladies, thank you so much for the support after my meltdown yesterday, I'm still pretty delicate today - likely because AF is en route but the lovely messages do help a lot and made me cry
My work offers an Employee Assistance Programme which is basically on the phone counselors so think I'm going to try to use them at some point. I'm struggling to find anyone locally that works beyond 4pm!
Kwick - we've not really got to the stage of discussing treatment as we are still waiting for the FC referral.
How are you this morning Jam? Any sign of the witch? Are you going away tmrw for anything nice?
I know that my DH finds it all really hard but also feels like he has to stay strong for me so tries to keep his feelings to himself. But after we basically ran out of a family party because I was crying about TTC he got a text from his Mum saying that they supported us and he just broke down in tears, just about killed me to see him like that.

Mouse my top OPK tips are to do them several times a day, three times ideally. One mid morning one mid afternoon and one evening. I quite often get a positive in the evening. Don't drink gallons beforehand but also don't stress about it too much. Gals still gotta drink.

Oh bless your DH flora I think that's a really good idea to contact those counsellors. Talking IRL to people who understand really really helps

No sign of AF yet - technically I'm not due until tomorrow. I'm symptom spotting like a mofo though really cross with myself today for thinking it could be it. I don't really know why - I've had cramps for a few days which I don't usually get, and I feel really light headed and a bit nauseous. I had that intense back pain the other day too and don't usually get that. I keep thinking - if I'm not pregnant then I've got the mother of all periods coming.

As I keep saying to myself - I accept the outcome either way.

Will you test if it doesn't arrive tomorrow jam?

I'm 9 dpo today and feel.like crap but have also had some.light spotting today so assume af will arrive on schedule on Sunday.

Jam the very worst situation is that we just need to get through 3 more periods before things start to happen! And don't blame yourself for symptom spotting - we all do it.

Flash we seem to be in cycle sync, AF is due for me on Sunday too.

We can be AF buddies and suggest things to get through it intact. I've got about 3 more cycles before getting referred to the fertility clinic. Feels like there's no chance we'll get a bfp before then though I know that pessimistic and I should be optimistic.

Flash I don't know. I don't have any tests anymore. And I hate testing thanks for being my AF buddy

Flora that's a really great way of putting it

Good luck Jam and Flash - really hope it's your time xxx

I'm so stressed in work right now, I start my new job Monday and I've only just found out from my predecessor that none of the software I need is installed on her machine (I'm a web designer so it's a big deal). I have no clue why she didn't tell me sooner and how she's coped without it for the last 3 months!! I have to fill in forms and get things signed off, and no one is replying to my emails despite the urgency of it all.

Ha! No way Sk1pper, we have the same job. 😊 I'm a digital designer, all things web, email, online, etc. Weird how we never realised that before now. Glad Af calmed too. X

Flora, Flash and jam keeping alllllllll my fingers and toes crossed for you. Nothing like a little surprise while you're waiting for the next step. X

So if I'm ovulating early and having a normal luteal phase my fertile period starts tomorrow until Wednesday. I may just OPK just in case. Did one today and it was very negative. My last 2 cycles have been 25 days. One before that was 26 days. BUT I spotted right before bed on CD23 and alllll day CD24 so I think I'm pretty much fucked either way. 🤷🏻‍♀️