Thread 30, TTC #1 | Hilda hopefuls are still riding the shag wagon

[Jamon]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.


We've been going a while now so the novelty has well and truly worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!


Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...


Key:
HS - have/had sex
GOS - good old shag
ELH - enthusiastic lavatory happenings
LSFX - legs spread, fingers crossed

Great news about mouse!

Great to hear you had a more relaxed fw as well alexia and that your DH's therapy is going well.

Sorry to hear about all the low feelings - I can definitely relate.

It's been a funny sort of day - I went from feeling quite positive about IVF, to now feeling sad and angry about it. I think I just feel overwhelmed by my appointment.

But - appointment all done. They did the baseline scan - confirmed all was good to go ahead, did more blood tests, booked in my scan dates (Saturday, Monday and Wednesday) and picked up my first batch of drugs.

It's the booking in scan dates and the drugs which stressed me out the most to be honest. They have to do scans before midday and the slots they had available when I'm at work are obviously the times I have meetings with my boss so can't pop out! So I'm going for their 8am slots - which is a b!tch as not convenient to get to from where I live at all. I had always thought I'd go during the day, which is why I picked a clinic near to work!

And - I'm not allowed to put the drugs in the fridge, yet they have to stay at or below 25 degrees. It's currently 29 degrees in this sodding house and nowhere cool (I hate summer with a passion).

Sorry - feeling very ratty and irritable - AF hormones not helping. I just feel stressed about the whole thing!

Really glad to hear that FW was a success Alexia

That's a pretty wild story from your friend... I think I'd really struggle to have sympathy for that situation so you're a much better person than I am! Know that its a controversial statement to make but at this point I'd be so grateful just for one little person that I'm not sure I could listen to someone bemoaning about not conceiving number 6...

Hope that doesn't read as harsh as its not meant to.... know everyone is on their own journey etc. but some people really do seem to have all the luck in this respect.

You're completely right flora about how feeling that negative just doesn't help anyone. I haven't felt this low about it all in a long time although I do feel better this week than last so that's progress in itself. Think it didn't help being away from DH for 9 days and although I was on holiday with my mum and sister, they try to say the right thing when I'm feeling shitty but I really feel its only DH or friends who have been through same thing who truly understand and therefore know what to say.

I hate the way it's affected me as a person as I don't feel the same at the moment but when I talk to people who have been through it and come out on the other side, they say that this was just a shitty stage in their life and once you actually have a baby, it's all forgotten about so hopefully that's true for all of us!

That is really annoying Alexia. I agree with flora, it sounds harsh but I would also struggle to feel any sympathy to be honest!

How was the appointment pyjamas? Did the consultant explain everything thoroughly to you? How many scans do you have to go to?

Also agree with the positive/grateful affirmations. I was doing that regularly with DH on recommendation of my reflexologist and it sounds very simple but it is good and does work. We used to say it before bed and some days I really couldn't think of anything other than something really stupid like I got all the washing done ha ha but it does help going to bed or starting the day on a positive note. Note to self: must start doing again!

Thanks Flash. Yes I'm more than happy to look at your chart anytime you need me to. Well done on all your GOS'ing. I like the idea of the 3 things on a Friday so I'll be following your lead.

Pjs glad it's all done. Bummer about the 8am scans though and what the hell about the drug temps. That sounds so stressful.

Oh Flora don't worry, I know how it sounds and I agree with you. I met her last year on FF when she had just lost identical twin girls at 23 weeks (due to TTTS) on ber Dr's advice because one of the girls had died and the other would likely have been born early and severely handicapped. The twins were an accident pregnancy, she was done at 5 but after them wanted one more to end on a happy note which I can understand. She's usually very sensitive to my struggles. We're quite similar personality wise and she's been a good sounding board for me. We've both helped each other in a lot of ways. I don't really have many RL friends I can talk to on that level, they all have families and just don't understand. It's just the way she did it I was shocked about. I shouldn't be surprised she got pregnant though as she's clearly super fertile and unfortunately I'm/we're not.

Chlo I can relate to that a lot, ttc has changed me so much as a person and until/if I'm a mother I'll never be truly happy with anything in my life. It's such a hard place to be. Hopefully now you're back with DH you'll feel less down.

Sorry that was a bit mumbled. Basically the doctors advised her to end the pregnancy because the surviving twin had little hope of a normal life.

Hi everyone just checking in in the midst of my gloom and sorry that everyone else seems to be struggling a bit too.

kath and mouse im sorry about AF.

pyjamas really hope it all went well today.

Great to hear from you alexia - agree with others comments - the loss
of twins must be devastating, especially at 23 weeks, but imo there is such a massive gulf between having no children at all and having at least one child, and when you're on one side of it it's hard to sympathise with people complaining on the other side.

My mood is a little better today as my uti is improving and my workload has gone down. Still so gutted that I didn't do enough in FW and that I probably didn't even ovulate. On plus side I haven't had any side effects from the steroids that I've noticed yet, so if I'm taking them for no reason at least I'm not suffering too.

I agree with mouse we just all need to keep going. jam especially i really hope you're ok.

Ah pjs just saw your recent update. Sorry you're stressed, and wtf are you meant to do with the meds in this heat?! It's so great the ball is rolling now though.

Harriet yes I absolutely agree with that. The comparison isn't even close really but she's a good friend so it's weird situation but it works. It'll be hard to see her give birth if I'm still not pregnant by then though.

I'm sorry I missed you earlier, wasn't deliberate at all. Glad your uti is improving, hope you feel better soon. Sorry about your awful time at work too recently. I was so sad to read you might have to stop ttc for 8 months, I really hope it won't be that long! It's going to be hard either way, especially knowing what could and should have been. I think O-3 and O-1 is good timing so fx 🤞🏼🍀

Unfortunately I'm back - missed miscarriage 💔
I have to decide whether pill or surgery now - has anyone been through this?

Oh Eva. I'm so sorry xxx

Oh no eva I'm so sorry. I went through this recently, in April. It is so horrible. How many weeks were you? I had an MVA which is the same surgery as ERPC but under a local anaesthetic rather than general, though not every hospital offers this. Even though it was really painful, I would do it again because the recovery time was so quick. Procedure lasted 15 mins, I had cramps that evening and next day, and that was it. Very little bleeding as they remove the blood too. I would definitely recommend that or erpc over the pills as those give you contractions which are painful, and for a fairly high proportion of people not everything comes away so you end up needing the surgery anyway. Also it can be quite drawn out, and if you have erpc/MVA they can test the tissue afterwards, which was useful for me. I think you can collect it for testing with the pills but I wouldn't want to have to try to do that. Take your time to make the decision that's best for you though. I'm so so sorry.

Hi all 👋 Sorry I've been quiet- have been hiding as I'm struggling atm. AF still hasn't appeared (CD39- officially longest cycle now) and I still don't feel at all pre-menstrual so goodness knows what's going on. POAS on Saturday and was BFN, going to try again tomorrow but pretty certain I haven't even ovulated this cycle. Am feeling totally defective and because we haven't been HS the last week (as it seemed too late in cycle, DH shifts and the bloody heat) now wondering if by some chance I am late to O that I'll have no chance anyway 😞

Sorry I haven't caught up totally but just wanted to say hi and send wishes to all that are struggling atm 🍫☕️ Particularly Eva and jam 💐 Take care of yourselves lovelies x

(And thanks Alexia for thinking of me)

And sorry that I've come on and pretty much moaned about my own situation. Know others are having much harder times of it, im still a relative newbie and need to pull up my big girl pants. Sorry x

Nothing to apologise for binky. Everyone here has one thing in common, which is that they are desperately trying to have a baby. The shit bits are shit, wherever you're at.

Eva I am so sorry. I don't have experience of a miscarriage, but had surgery to remove my pregnancy (the baby hadn't developed at all) and the bonus for me was that all my pregnancy symptoms basically disappeared straight away, which was a slight comfort.

Sorry about the stress of the ivf appointments etc PJs You're being really brave and I so hope it gets you your much deserved bfp.

I'm so sorry to read that Eva. How utterly heartbreaking No personal experience with either but I would take surgery over pills as they don't always work and I know people who've had bad experiences and retained tissue. Take care of yourself

Hi Binky 👋 good to hear from you. Sorry you're struggling and think you haven't O'd. So frustrating! I know you're not really a fan but temping and/or opks could really give you peace of mind in future cycles. Vent here all you need lovely.

Thank you so much for your kind words.

I am 9+1 today, but I had a scan at 7+6 and they couldn't see baby (only sac) and said come back next week. I feared the worst and today was confirming that. Dr said it looks like it stopped developing pretty early on.
Sorry you've been through it too Harriet and thanks for all that info.
I'll definitely be going for the surgery option.

eva that's very similar to me - had scan at 7+4 and there was just gestational sac and yolk sac. Then had to wait 2 weeks to confirm. It's so horrible isn't it. There's nothing much anyone can say to make it better but I'm 2 months on now and the very worst feelings have passed. I'm focusing now on trying to conceive again and the stats are very much in your favour after one mc for the next one.

Really sorry to hear that eva. Whichever option you decide, it's a heartbreaking thing to have to go through so sending you lots of love.

I hope I'm not throwing a spanner in the works but I opted for the medical option as I had googled both and read lots of people saying that they had complications after the surgical option. We only had about 30 minutes to decide and the doctors wouldn't commit or recommend one option over another so that's all we had to go on and it all worked out ok. in our case. I know some people do have the medical option and then end up having to have surgery as not all of the pregnancy is passed. However, when I have seen two separate consultants afterwards, they have both said oh that's good that you had the medical option as surgery can cause problems. When I asked the doctor at the time about this, he wouldn't really go into any detail but he did say it's done blindly as such so it can cause scarring and perforate nearby organs. I wasn't so much worried about my other organs, I just didn't want anything else to happen that could complicate TTC. I still don't really understand how they can't be more precise when they can perform the most complicated and difficult procedures under key hole surgery but for some reason, they can't.

I know of several people who have had this option though and haven't had any problems at all and I also know of several people who have had the pills and then had to have the surgery so unfortunately it's not a guarantee. I just wanted to let you know my experience. Also, I was very scared about physically passing the pregnancy and lots of people on boards here were posting horror stories but I found it ok but then I didn't personally want to look and see anything as I knew it would traumatise me forever so I tried to just relax and let my body release everything as it should. As upsetting as it was, I felt I had to accept it pretty quickly and let it pass as it's the only way you can move on and let your body repair and get ready for TTC again. I know everyone has a different experience/story but wanted to share in case it helps in any way.

So so sorry eva

I still follow on here and I'm sorry so many of you are going through the mill with everything right now.

alexia so glad you had a stress free fw, I think that's the least you deserve.

harriet really hope you won't have to pause for 8 months. I know someone who paid privately to have the tests so they could start ttc

pjs annoying about the meds given the heat we currently have- is there a minimum temp? Could you wrap them in bubble wrap and then place an ice pack in a box and then put them on top of that? Change the ice pack twice a day with the box out of direct sunlight? Should keep them below the 25 but the bubble wrap should stop them getting too cold sitting on the bubble wrap and also act to stop them heating up too much.

flash amazing on the 5 days In a row, hope this month works for you and that awful spotting doesn't appear.

I'm so sorry Eva. What a heartbreaking decision to have to make. Sending you lots of love

Oh Eva I'm so sorry. Please take good care of yourself

Thanks for your kind words alexia. Your friends situation must have really taken you by surprise, is she not nervous about having 6 children to look after? Glad to hear you had a successful and relaxed FW and how exciting is your anniversary holiday - wow 😄

Flash I LOVE the positive Friday idea!

Pyjamas that sounds really full on. I have no idea how I would fit all those appointments in with work! What a nightmare. Where are you putting the drugs???

Flora your Fawlty Towers comment earlier really made me laugh but argh how frustrating. I wouldn't blame you for complaining

Chlo I feel the same regarding no one understand unless they've been through it - or just needing your DH. Also what you said about forgetting all this in the future - I had a long chat with a friend earlier who took 2 years to conceive and she complained about not being able now to go for a wee undisturbed think it's safe to say she has forgotten the frustration and pain of TTC!

Thank you harriet xx glad to hear you're feeling a bit better

Oh binky how frustrating lovely. Would it be worth seeing your GP?

eva so so sorry to hear looks after yourself

chlo and jamon and flash big hugs for all of you. Sorry you're having such a tough time.

flash if you can HS tonight and tomorrow that will make sure you're properly covered! LSFX!

alexia I can't believe your friend took more than an hour to tell you that! I know it's not fair to say she already has 5 and we are desperately hoping for 1 but it really does feel that way doesn't it? I completely emphatise. Sounds like you've given it a decent shot this cycle, hope it works for you. I've never been to Vancouver - so jealous!

pjs good luck with your ivf treatment. Sorry that getting the drugs and scans was so stressful! Keeping the drugs at 25C is ridiculous in this weather.

binky sorry you're also having a tough time. Hope your body behaves soon and you either get a BFP or af so you know where you stand.

AFM I'm hoping I've ovulate this morning or late last night. Managed to HS yesterday and this morning so hopefully got it well covered. Now for the 2WW which is going to feel like years!

I considered the bubble wrap ice pack option, but there are lots of boxes and want to avoid messing with them too much, thanks for the suggestion though! so the meds have gone under the stairs where it's coolest - still a degree over, but I don't know wtf else I'm supposed to do! Hate summer - makes me grumpy at the best of times, I've been full on raging at it today.

Did my first injection - was so hard to mentally get my head around it, but actually didn't hurt that much! Tomorrow will be easier 👍🏼

Yeah the appointments are a ball ache - work won't notice as I'll be in on time, but will have to get up so so early to get there!

Sounds like you are well covered otters
*
Pyjamas* well done doing your first jab 👍🏼 how's your DH finding it all?

I've just got this book from Amazon to give a go / will report back if it's any good but the blurb sounded just what I need