Thread 29 | The one with the BFPs (please)

[Londonjam]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

Key:
HS - have/had sex
GOS - good old shag
ELH - enthusiastic lavatory happenings
LSFX - legs spread, fingers crossed

A friend told me they 'were going to conceive in February or March' as earlier would cause problems with his work and later with hers. I tried to say, v nicely, that things don't always happen like that and that maybe they needed a plan for if it didn't happen that quickly. It was treated as if I'd said something nasty, so I thought 'ah well, you'll see'. Of course they didn't - conceived first go (this is, in fact, the moany pregnant woman from the wedding the other day!). As we all know, it's such an infuriatingly unfair business.

I can totally understand that it's scary and upsetting in some ways, Harriet, but I do think getting your diagnosis is a good thing. So many recurrent miscarriers just get told they can't find anything and to just keep on trying with no extra help. Also, that it turns out to be immune issues completely vindicates your decision to go private, as I think the NHS don't run those tests.

Harriet - I really think that's quite positive you know, something that you can action right away with meds. I hope It makes you a wee bit better - we all think it should. Sending all my positivity your way for the next few cycles xx

I've started spotting as per usual, and I feel like I always do before AF is due so certain I'm out. I will test tomorrow morning as I've got tests expiring...

Lots of love to all of you who are struggling at the moment. Life seems so shittily unfair at times.

Harriet, sounds positive to have a plan going forwards even if it must seem really overwheleming. I also have automimmune conditions (have always thought it's probably a factor) and will need steroids alongside any IVF treatment so hopefully they do the trick for both of us!

Harriet - I've been searching the NICE guidelines, but I can't seem to find anything about the range being ideally 1 - 2 for conception on their site -

Forgot to say earlier Lisa really happy that the test is darker again. Some good news amongst all the crap.

People can be such shitheads sometimes. I still regularly read here as I miss a lot of you and am always hoping to see names from here celebrating and coming to join the grads thread, but I don't
post often as I'm conscious of my extreme good luck - and that's certainly what it feels like.

Any women who get pregnant without a struggle are insanely lucky bitches and should be ridiculously grateful and sensitive to the struggles others go through. I consider myself as having had hardly any struggle myself after only 11 months of trying - at the time it felt bloody hard but I'm very aware that in the scheme of things it isn't all that long and I have friends who have taken over 4 times that to get their BFPs. That said, I still couldn't face talking to people who were pregnant at the time because it hurt so much that it wasn't happening for me.

I may grumble at heartburn, fatigue, my feet that look like sausages (sporting a lovely set of cankles right now), and other lovely side effects they don't tell you about, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't wake up pinching myself with disbelief that I'm actually pregnant - it's an amazing, special privilege that I hope more than anything you will all be able to experience. I feel utterly blessed and so freaking grateful, and I know each of you will feel the same the day your BFP shows and your bean sticks.

Hugs to folks who have been battered by insensitive arseholes - Flash, Alexis - hugs to folks who AF has jumped on - Jam, Hep, Pyjamas - and good luck Lisa, I'm so hoping for good news for you.

Just hit the third trimester here (29+4 today) and have developed a proper waddle with what feels like a pea-sized bladder. I'm loving every moment.

Good luck all.

hi kav !
lovely to hear from you.
best wishes for healthy pregnancy for you and bump.

"It was treated as if I'd said something nasty"
Lisa ugh that's so annoying.

Wow, third trimester, congratulations kav!

Noo skipper 💔 Hope it's not what you think it is. Fx for your test tomorrow xxx

Aww Kav it's great to hear from you. I love how grateful you are to be pregnant, it's refreshing. How did your maternity shoot go? I still read the Grad's to see how you're all getting on. I'm excited for Moose, she must be 39 weeks now?

The shoot was a ton of fun, thanks for asking Alexia - haven't seen the results yet (was supposed to see them on Tuesday but got double booked so had to reschedule for next week) but they really put me at my ease and I felt gorgeous. Whether I ended up looking that way remains to be seen but I'd thoroughly recommend the experience either way! And yes, I think Moose is due to pop any day now, our next grad baby :) There's a nice mix on the thread at the moment of people at lots of stages of pregnancy - and tonks became only our second team Blue on the thread recently too which was lovely to hear.

Heya Hep and Smitten! :)

God I can't believe Tonks is already far enough along to find out the sex. That's incredible.

Glad to hear you enjoyed yourself Kav and that everything is going well for you and the other grads.

I really love our little community ❤️ Well be all over MN eventually

Sorry for half finished comment before - that's amazing news Harriet! You must be pleased to have a plan

Thanks all. Yes, it is good news really, especially now it has sunk in. In an ideal world he would have said there was nothing wrong with me and the mcs were just bad luck, but I guess this is the next best thing. Onwards and upwards!

lisa yes you're right - the NHS doesn't test for autoimmune issues which is awful as they are really common. I am so so lucky I have been able to access this treatment and will never forget this. So glad the lines are looking good for you!

Sorry for AF jam and hep. I'm hoping mine will come any day now so I'll know I'm back to normal after the mc, so fingers crossed we can be cycle buddies.

Nice to hear from you kav!

alexia, flash and others with insensitive comments - it's so heartbreaking isn't it? I've only told a couple of friends about my mcs as I want to keep it private. One of them conceived 2 weeks after me with the last one so we were really excited about being pregnant together. In literally the same convo where I told her about my 3rd mc she started to complain that one of her friends was getting married in the summer and she wouldn't be able to drink at the wedding...I mean SERIOUSLY. I just didn't say anything. Some people just have no filter.

Sorry about AF jam and hep hope you get through it quickly

lisa good news about the test lines. Fx for a sticky bean for you

harriet glad you have a diagnosis and treatment plan. Hope it works out.

Sorry that people have suffered so many insensitive comments. I agree with harriet that some people just don't have a filter!! flash I know what you mean about people taking bets on when you'd have children! Quite a few friends and family have been pregnant or had their babies in the time we've been TTC. I get comments like well you're not getting any younger you know, when are you going to have a baby? Do you not want to have a baby? Grrrr so frustrating!

I'm spotting so badly, hormones have crashed...I can feel it, the heaviness the general feeling of NOT BEING PREGNANT. Zen has gone. What more do I have to do? Fuck this shit.

skipper

plan something lovely for this bank holiday. Find a nice walk along a river. Have a nice cup of tea. scream if you need to. cry if you need to.

I'm so sorry skipper - scream and shout and punch things if you need to (I find kicking the shit out of pillows and other soft furnishings very therapeutic). It's all so unfair 😞

Sounds lovely Kav; I'll keep an eye out for some pics on the grads If you're up for it! Saying that, the nosey side of me was really looking forward to hearing grad baby names, seeing a photo etc. but I appreciate not everyone's comfortable doing that. Maybe Moose will break the trend? Sorry to read about your swelling and hands, in this heat that can't be fun. Hang in there

Harriet your friend Unbelievable! I'd easily never drink alcohol again if it meant I could have a baby. Guessing she's had no struggle ttc.

Skipper I'm so sorry hon You have every right to feel angry and distraught. I wish this wasn't happening right now and I wish I had words to make you feel better. Just know we're here for you xxx

Oh bugger Skip. I'm so sorry. Fuck this shit absolutely sums it up.

Jam and Hep, hope you guys are doing okay too.

Oh skipper welled up at 'what more do I have to do'; so sorry, so fucking unfair

Hugs to jam and hep

Lisa, fx things continue progressing, glad today was better

And yay for some treatment and a plan Harriet - hoped you can get cracking with the next cycle soon!

Some of the comments are unbelievable...

*hope

for Skipper - I'm so sorry that you're feeling so shitty. Definitely take out some rage punching something. And having a giant glass of wine xxx

Hope you're treating yourself to something nice this evening Sk1pper