Thread 29 | The one with the BFPs (please)

[Londonjam]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

Key:
HS - have/had sex
GOS - good old shag
ELH - enthusiastic lavatory happenings
LSFX - legs spread, fingers crossed

Hi Flora - I don't really have any advice because I don't know enough about the tests, but I can absolutely do hand-holding. I'm sorry you've had such a frustratingly uncertain outcome - what did the doctor suggest? Can you repeat the test, this time hopefully on the right day? I know that this just prolongs the anxiety and uncertainty for another cycle, though. Sorry your mum's response was so unhelpful. I say (this is advice I'm currently trying and failing to take!) let yourself cry, but then think: I'm not going to get upset about bad news before it happens. You haven't had bad results, you've had inconclusive ones. Which is rubbish and upsetting - but reacting like it's bad news now won't cushion the blow of any further bad news; it just prolongs it all. and good luck for getting through the day.

Sorry, excuse my typos above. I was in a rush.

Fox - I have some sayings that I read on my fridge when I get baby bombed:

A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it, it just blooms.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

They help me (sometimes) , especially the flower one. We are all flowers carrying seeds, waiting to bloom and give life after all.

Thanks Alexia - they were from the same box. It wasn't the world's strongest urine (I drank a lot of water last night), but it wasn't very dilute either. I think I'd be less worried if it was lighter than the previous day, but that was a two day wait (I didn't take a test yesterday), so I was looking for a significant darkening - I've seen people get huge jumps from 14 to 16dpo. Tbh I'm mostly cross at myself for letting my hopes get up. I knew ever since the second one went at exactly the same point at the first that, whatever my doctor insisted, this wasn't randomly occurring 'bad luck'. There's something wrong with me.

Again, thank you so much for your support. I know I've taken up a lot of the board over the last few days and I really appreciate all the kindness I've received.

Thanks Lisa - and particularly when you are also going through a tough time (I got myself caught up)
Yeah they are going to repeat the test next month - however my cycles are usually 28 days so CD21 is always a Saturday - when I had the bloods taken the nurse suggested CD20 next month so might try that. I'm just fairly knocked for six as really thought it would come back OK - positive attitude or arrogance - hell knows.

I really hope that you are OK too, I really cannot imagine how you will be feeling - please try to take some comfort from the fact that you can get pregnant and that if this turns out the way that you suspect then you go to the Doctors and break down their door until they offer to do some testing - it could be as simple as taking a progesterone supplement as soon as you get a BFP. And I'm not trying to oversimplify things - or reduce the significance of your feelings - there are no words - but it is so so important to focus on the positive things.

for you too Jam - can totally sympathize with the feelings and annoyance at hubby having a great time while you are here and going through all the emotions of TTC.

OMG Alexia - your message is so bloody lovely that you've also made me cry!!

Thanks too Skipper - normally I don't get too beat up about baby bombs as you really don't ever know what people have been through - this one was just horrifically timed, and think she knows that as there has been a lot of subsequent apologizing.

Otters I feel for you. CBD don't work for those who do not surge in the morning so I'm not really surprised you've had endless days of flashing smileys (they really mean nothing!). How did you get on with the ic? Did you consistently do one at the same time each afternoon or evening? Lining them up to see progression helped me. Any pics of your darkest?

Aww Jam that's rubbish, totally get why you're feeling bummed about it all It's definitely not what you need at the end of your cycle when you're extra emotional / sensitive. Why did he lie and say it wasn't a safari though? You went to SA recently, so I'm guessing you didn't get to do a Safari? Sending hugs to you. You've got some nice things planned this week so try and focus on that hon.

Lisa - makes sense, I get why you're feeling down and cautious about it at the moment. The worst thing is you're helpless; you just have to wait it out and test again tomorrow. Which is agonising I know. I'm hoping for better news tomorrow, try to not drink a lot this evening or after 9pm so you get a good sample in the morning. Fx 🍀

Sorry I made you cry Flora lol! 7dpo is the best day for testing progesterone. Do you know how many dpo you were when it was taken? That's what you should aim for next time and can really impact your results. Still, 29 is a solid number imo.

I think I was 9dpo Alexia but think I've a dodgy thermometer not fucking helpful at the moment and I stopped temping after ovulation was confirmed so I can't be 100% sure. Thanks again for your kind words. I think you are right, I did ovulate and its just that the dates messed things up.

No worries Flora. Yes I think that explains why it was just under 30. Low progesterone levels can be linked to poor egg quality btw so that might be something to look into with diet / supps. Don't mean to alarm you, just thought I'd mention it.

Off topic - I'm so sad / angry about what happened in Manchester Seeing all the little lives taken and families destroyed is heartbreaking.

Alexia - yes Alexia, it's terrible that image of that 8 year old's face whose life was stolen by that selfish loser really got my going last night. I don't even think I'm hormonal, it's just fucking awful

Afternoon everyone.

Sorry some of you are having such an awful time, thinking of you Lisa and really hoping for a better outcome than the one you are expecting.

I am in the lovely time right now, where AF is finished, and I can feel all sorts of hope that DH and I will somehow nail it this month and I'll get a bfp.

HS last night on CD 7 (starting as I mean to go on, let's see how long that lasts!)

Also, slightly off topic, but sometimes I torture myself looking at beautiful baby clothes online. Is that normal, or do I need help?

Flash - OH and I were looking at baby clothes in boots in the New Year. They were so cheap, some half price and they were lovely. We had to stop ourselves from buying any, I know realise how ridiculous that was.

All normal I think Flash. I'm always looking at baby things on Pinterest, though I try to avoid the baby section in real life. We've already finalised a boy and girl name + middle name, already chosen our pushchair/travel system, bedside crib (snuzpod) and loads more. At this rate any future pregnancy is going to be so boring 😂

Well done on the GOS, LSFX for you as always.

I cried too skipper. She was so young, beautiful and innocent. It's devastating. Her mum is in hospital fighting for her life and doesn't even know her precious girl is gone 💔

Gah - AF is here 😒 Pretty gutted even though I was expecting it. But at least I'm in a nice place and no chance of any arguments. One more cycle (number 13) to go before we catch that IVF train... Oh well, off to an aqua circuit class, then body cocoon at the spa, then a stretch and relax class.

Can I join?

Age: 34
TTC: First
Cycle 5
Cycle Day 10 (of potentially 47!)

I have subclinical Underactive thread. Need to wait three more months before they will do any hormone tests. I'm concerned I'm not ovulating.

I've done OPKs for 10 months (had to delay TTC due to Zika risk from travel) and never once got a positive. Just ordered a thermometer for this month. Anyone had negative OPKs but positive results from using thermometer?

My cycles are 33-47 days so very difficult to know when I may even be ovulating. DP works abroad a lot so can't DTD every other day and hope for the best - he's trying to plan travel around when I'm "in heat" as he delicately puts it ...

Last cycle was the whopping 47 days - did early pregnancy tests from day 33 - everyone negative - had raging PMT for a week

So sorry pyjamas The spa sounds fabulous though, enjoy!

Welcome Ana. Sorry your cycles have been all over the place, it could be a sign of anovulation. Temping is a good idea.

Sorry pyjamas hope you have a seriously lovely relaxing time at the spa and it takes your mind off things plus you can sneak wine and not be told off

I'm the opposite with baby stuff - I can't look at it at all. Hate looking at it, it actually makes me feel like I've been punched in the gut it makes me feel so sad. I don't even like looking at babies anymore. I used to love OBEM ! Now cannot cope with it at all.

Welcome ana

I have to say, it wouldn't even occur to me to look at baby stuff (other than when I'm buying stuff for friends). The whole concept just seems so alien. I can't imagine ever being in a position where we're trying to decide what type of pram to get.

Pyjamas, so sorry about AF. I hope you manage to enjoy your spa trip despite its arrival. Your afternoon plans sound pretty blissful.

Welcome Ana, I have similarly batshit cycles for no real reason. It's a nightmare isn't it?! I've pretty much given up tracking I have to say but given I'm now in cycle 18, I'm probably not a great person to take advice from!

Sorry AF came pyjamas, was really hoping sod's law would prove itself, with going away - hope you have a lovely time & chance to forget about it for a few days

jam totally understand the irritation - I would be too

ana - welcome! If it's any help, I kept forgetting opks this month, so relying on temping - tho have had positive opks before (my cycles are more regular, so might be easier to catch the surge?)

lisa I'm so sorry you're going through this - I really hope it makes the doctors sit up & take notice, if it comes to that

flora, how frustrating - sounds like the signs are mostly pointing in the right direction, really hoping it was just an issue with dates; very annoying if they can't schedule them any better - surely a waste of resources for them, leaving aside peace of mind for you

Thanks everyone :)

Haha @Kathrino re batshit cycles. The worst is peeing every day on the early pregnancy tests from day 33, getting negatives, but having secret hope. i just want to get some tests done - but have to be patient

I don't buy baby stuff as am a bit superstitious - but have been stockpiling Isabella Oliver dresses from Ebay. Weird.

Sorry af got you Pyjamas hope it helps being somewhere chilled out and away from potential arguments.
Sorry that the test was fainter this morning Lisa I really hope it's stronger in the morning. Are you going to test with same brand tmrw?
Flora sorry for the really inappropriately timed baby bomb. Makes it so much worse when the lady is not trying/ drinking heavily etc whilst we are all trying everything we can.
I know how you feel Alexia when you feel out before af even arrives. It's weird that hate the crazy symptom spotting of 2ww but the hope keeps us going each month
Understandable that you're feeling especially crap Jam with partner off enjoying himself. Hope you've got nice plans for bank holiday weekend.
Welcome Ana hope you get some answers on your cycle soon. Have your periods always been like that?
Think am coming to end of fw, have been more chilled on the whole this month (forgot to temp so starting fresh next cycle) but really stressed about getting a GOS in today

Hello and welcome ana.

Sorry about AF pyjamas but jealous of your break - sounds amazing! Where is it?

Weirdly I'm fine with actual babies - love them in fact - but can't stand looking at baby stuff like jam. Makes me just so sad. Same with OBEM - I feel really jealous and kind of hopeless. And then I feel bad about feeling like that!

I'm getting the results of all of my tests back from the private consultant tomorrow morning. Have such a mixture of feelings - really want to find out but don't know whether I want him to find something or not.

Thinking of you and hoping lisa.