Thread 29 | The one with the BFPs (please)

[Londonjam]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

Key:
HS - have/had sex
GOS - good old shag
ELH - enthusiastic lavatory happenings
LSFX - legs spread, fingers crossed

Isn't it skipper

Thanks hep and alexia. My bump and I are doing well, I just still can't believe it's happening. I'm sorry for posting - I know, I remember how heartbreaking it is all too well, as well as trying to celebrate baby milestones with friends who I was supposed to be off on mat leave with, but I mc'd and they didn't. I now have the day that we conceived this baby imprinted on my mind. I cried because I was convinced I'd ovd the week beforehand. It was my acupuncturist who reminded me that all ovulation signs, including positive OPKs, could indicate ov in the prior or upcoming 5 or so days, even a temp spike isn't always a 100% accurate - my temp spike was 3 days before we even hs. None of it makes sense, I guess what I'm saying is even when you think you're out, sometimes having a gos is the best thing you can do. Sometimes you even end up with a BFP. Sending all my love to you badass ladies, you are strong and supportive and amazing x

Thanks skip xx it's the luck of the draw it really is. Glad everything is going so well and thanks for thinking of us x

Glad you are doing well Skip. Your post is a good reminder for me to have a lot of sex! I know lots of us have done that and still not got lucky, but I often worry that I don't start HS soon enough after AF, or stop too soon in the month, so this month I'm going to take a more scattergun approach to it!

Who knows if it will help, but perhaps it will take the pressure off worrying if I miss a day in 'the zone'.

flash, skip i think this is also why I have pretty much given up opk-ing. i know the approximate FW. I am not sure it helpful to know more than that. Too much pressure !

I'm starting to think the same Hep - last 9 cycles have been pretty much textbook so thinking few "relaxed" months might be the way to go.

We had a GOS last night, I'm 10dpo so for no reason other than hubby meant to be going to Rotterdam today (now cancelled) was weird but nice to do it for a reason other than TTC. And I'm aware of how bad that sounds!

Yeah I'm thinking I need to mix it up a bit too. Maybe I'll try it next cycle as i would have finished the clearblue trial by then too.

Good to hear from you flash - hope you're doing OK after the funeral

Am also wondering about whether should do more outside expected fertile week - HS definitely reduces in frequency later in the month

flora doesn't sound bad - good for you for spontaneous GOS

Sending love to anyone in/from Manchester xx

Well my blood test definitely confirmed ovulation, so Raspberry Leaf tea definitely doesn't fuck it up. I drank like 20 cups of that stuff.

Yeah I've been having the same thoughts re: HS outside FW -we just really don't want to! It's all become such a chore, so we'd literally rather do anything else 🙁

Sorry to hear you've had a difficult FW alexia - you must be really upset which is understandable 💐

Sorry loads to catch up on!

AF due tomorrow and I'm all set for my three night stay at the spa! No symptoms of anything, no spotting, nada, zilch, not one whiff of anything.

Will you test before you go to the spa if AF hasn't arrived by then Pyjamas?

Nope, not testing until Thursday if AF doesn't show tomorrow flash. Would be so typical of me to get a BFP when I can't tell anyone because DH won't be there! Not expecting a BFP at all though - I'd rather be surprised than disappointed. I'm just so happy that I know there won't be an argument when I'm feeling like crap!

Oh Alexia missed your post - hope you're doing OK

Fx for you pyjamas but like your 'I'd rather be surprised than disappointed' attitude :)

skipper have you had any more nausea or are things a bit better now?

Lisa, good to see that things are still progressing. Keeping everything crossed for you that you continue to have such good news.

Flash, glad to hear that the funeral went as well as you could hope and you were able to remember some of the happy times with your family.

Alexia so sorry to hear that you've been having such a tough time. I was so hoping that things had turned a corner for you. Thinking of you.

Jam, I hope you've had a better day today (although it's hard when there's so much shittiness in the world).

Harriet sounds like you've had a crazy few days. Are you able to take some time off this week in lieu of all the hours you've done?

Have a lovely time at the spa pyjamas, whatever happens re AF.

skipper good news you've O'd but I had no doubt Still keeping my fx for you! There's pretty much no hope this cycle because we HS CD12, CD13 we both decided to skip as no positive opk, CD14 we tried but DH had the flu so he couldn't finish, CD15 I got a positive OPK and it was a complete disaster. It's kind of too embarrassing to say what happened but basically he came mostly outside of my vagina CD16 ended in a huge crying/fight again where we ended up sleeping in different rooms. Last night, CD17 (when it was too late) we had spontaneous sex I think it's just best for my mental health to assume I'm out which I'm 99% sure I am anyway. It's all very frustrating because last FW was amazing (4 in a row- 0-3, 0-2, 0-1 & 0). We're still awaiting dh's bloods because the doctor very kindly effed off on holiday and no one else can give them to us. Dh booked his first session with a psychologist for Thursday so hopefully he can get some help.

FXSkip yes I remember you got a huge temp rise on I think CD17 but HS CD18 and conceived. Before that you'd been sick so hadn't HS for a good few days? If I'm honest I think it was probably a rogue temp rise. I would love to have more regular sex throughout the cycle but it just isn't going happen, sex is a real chore now. I trust my temps as I've been doing this a long time (they follow the same pattern) and I trust my opks too. My cm always switches to creamy post O.
Enjoy and cherish every moment with bump, she'll be here before you know it! So exciting I'll be stalking you on the Grad's.

Agree Jam it's totally luck of the draw who gets to be a mummy and who doesn't. It's unfair but that's life. I'm so sorry you had such an awful day yesterday How are you feeling now? Glad you were working from home so had some privacy. I had an awful day yesterday too where I just cried all day, didn't go to work and spent most of the day in bed.

Hope you had a good rest after your hectic day harriet

I hope af isn't coming PJs

Thanks Kath, I really did too. It was a shock.

How are you Quiet?

Alexia - they can live for up to five days though right? I mean if you HS late on CD12 you're definitely in and even if it was morning you're just about scraping it. Stranger things have happened in my time on this thread. Thanks for your positivity too, I'm so chilled right now - if it happens, it happens. I hope I can maintain this if AF arrives.

Quiet - no real noticeable nausea, not like 2-4 dpo. That shit was nasty. I felt mildly queasy this morning and I actually had he tiniest spot of pink blood when I wiped day before last. BUT I've had that before and neither are significant enough for me to acknowledge them.

Pyjamas - have a good time at the spa xxx

I'm so sorry that so many people have being having such difficult times at the moment.

Just to add to the conversation above: for what it's worth on this cycle I have to have conceived on o-4: we didn't have sex again after that until well after ovulation (I'm pretty certain about my ovulation day: temp, OPK and CM all agree). It does show you how frustratingly random TTC luck is: on both the previous cycles I conceived it was with really good FW (o-3, o-2, o-1 both times), but I've also had other cycles like that with no luck. This whole process is so upsetting partially because it's so far outside our control. I keep weeing on sticks because it gives me some sort of feeling that I'm doing something, but of course there's nothing at all I can do: this pregnancy, which I want more than anything else in the world right now, either will or won't stick and I can't change it.

Alexia- so sorry to hear FW has been really stressful. How are things between you and your other half now? Big hugs ❤️

Flora I think I can safely say we can all sympathise with that!

Good news on your blood test skipper I'm rooting for you

Pyjamas hoping no AF for you too, how lovely you have this treat lined up

Sometimes we just need a good cry alexia xx I've been a lot better today thanks , and I agree with the others that you still have a chance this cycle. Glad your DH is getting help

I'm cross with myself for symptom spotting all day today. I spent yesterday crying about it never happening. I've spent today thinking things like ooh when will I be due? I wonder how much maternity leave we can afford? Ugh what an idiot. It's. not. Happening.

Jam - when's AF due?

Thursday. She'll be here, I'm sure.

Thanks girls 😘 I'm not hopeful but I've come to terms with it, I've 'grieved' it. Totally expecting af.

Don't be hard on yourself Jam. We all want this so much it's hard not to fantasise about it. How many dpo are you? I hoped this would be my cycle as bfp/af is due just before our 6th Wedding Anniversary and the due date would have been my birthday in Feb

Kerry we're alright, thanks for asking. He's my best friend and we never argue so I can't stay mad at him no matter how much it hurts when he let's us down like that. We're not used to not being 'friends' and talking all day long. He was truly sorry about it and booked counselling immediately the next morning. He also brought home pink roses and a card with a long, heartfelt message in apologising and how he wants to change so he's never the reason for my tears again. It made me cry.

I'm 12 DPO. Been nauseous on and off for a couple of days. Felt hot and faint all morning today too. My colleague asked if I was having a hot flush! I swam for 40 minutes before work which I don't think helped. I'm pretty sure it's PMS. That does give me temperature fluctuations.

Need to find my zen with getting my period this week. DH is away all week and I'm going to the theatre on Thursday which will be nice. He gets back Friday so perhaps I should get him to take me out. I think I'll also take clomid next cycle so that'll break up Groundhog Day a bit.

Jam - its hard to tell what is PMS and what isn't, I've just given up reading into all that shit now. The nausea was odd for me but my cereal tasted like bacon once, and we all know how that cycle turned out. Still got everything crossed for you though xx