Thread 29 | The one with the BFPs (please)

[Londonjam]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

Key:
HS - have/had sex
GOS - good old shag
ELH - enthusiastic lavatory happenings
LSFX - legs spread, fingers crossed

Wait til you get to Sadie nurse and her explanation of why she's called sad eyed Pete!

Nice to see you Geeup Hope everything goes well on your next round 🤞🏼 You deserve this.

Otters I buy mine from amazon as it's cheaper/easier. Great news your appointment has been moved forward, not long to wait at all now! Let us know how it goes. How are your opk's today?

Jam we haven't HS since last FW and I'm CD12 today!!! (dh has regularly done the business himself though lol). Since AF we've talked loads about HS but keep falling asleep / watching TV instead 😂 Literally cba anymore.

Sorry, yes, AIBU jam but Alexia has supplied the link.

I'm so glad that other people find they just end up HS in FW. My therapist said last week that it seemed like I was prioritising sleep and work (and TV but I didn't say that...) over sex like it was a bad thing whereas it seemed totally normal and understandable to me. There's only so much interest I can sustain in it after TTC for 18 months...

kathrino our sex life ebbs and flows and has done ever since we've lived together and both worked full time. We're very affectionate, we kiss and cuddle, sleep naked, snuggle up on the sofa, hold hands etc, but sometimes you need sleep to get up the next morning and live and go to work, sometimes sex isn't a priority. I don't think any of us should feel bad about that, ttc or not.

Sorry, rant over. I love sex, and I'm always glad when I have it, but I hate that people are made to feel like there must be some underlying issue of they aren't at it like rabbits. As long as both partners know that no means I genuinely am too tired, not o hate you but don't want to say it, I don't see the problem!

Absolutely Flash, couldn't agree with you more.

You really shouldn't be made to feel bad about that Kath, it's totally normal after all this time ttc. Sex is a lot of effort! If DH rocked up with a hard on I would never say no but I haven't got the energy to even try and make it happen when it's not FW. He knows his only 'job' is to not go more than 2-3 days without ejaculating and he's fine with that (it's less effort than sex). He works a ridiculous amount of hours and uses up a lot of energy. We love each other deeply and that's all that matters. Like Flash - we're constantly kissing, hugging, holding hands/touching, messaging all day I love yous and funny things/emojis. TTC has basically killed our sex life but we're way more than just sex. As long as you and DH are fine with the frequency I wouldn't care what anyone says. You do you!

Side note - my online friend has 5 children and they have sex every Friday, Saturday and Sunday (sometimes twice a day) and even Monday morning before work. I'm like HOW THE HELL? She never instigates, it's always her husband. That there is the difference in our relationships. Sometimes I feel bad about it when I see her chart because we're younger and childless but they work less hours than us and don't have the same level of affection we do outside of sex (we discuss this together).

Flash will resume reading soon, needed a pee break

My sex drive is low, actually it's ideal because since coming of the pill it has improved but only around fertile week. Hormones I guess. That said, we still have WAY more sex than I'd like in FW mainly due to paranoia. When's the egg going to drop? Will ovulation be late/early? Did some of it "fall out" of me? Is my CM right? Etc etc. So we do it like rabbits for 5-7. days and then I am burnt out. But speak to my fertility nurse and it should every other day throughout the cycle, then every day FW. Are you kidding me? If you both have high sex drives, fine but for me that's asking me to not enjoy sex. I know when you're on the road to IVF, sex looses its meaning but I'd still like to go into the bedroom without a feeling of dread and exhaustion.

Oh I don't feel bad at all Alexia, DH and I are totally happy as we are and I said as much. Both of us value sleep/work very highly and that works for us. I'm very impressed with your friend though, just the thought of that routine makes me feel exhausted!

Can you go back next time kathrino and tell him/her that we've taken it under advisement, discussed it at length, but we all disagree

I like that idea Flash hah!

Kath sounds like you're both on the same page and that's the most important thing

Haha, I totally will Flash!

Eurgh, Af has just arrived. In the evening! It always arrives early morning. Thankfully I have a nice dinner to look forward to, and definitely expected it, just hate the annoyance of it!

That AIBU made my head spin 😝

Sorry flash you don't have get messed around by it. Hope you enjoy your tasty dinner

I'm going to attempt to cook pasta in milk tonight. Keep seeing those Tasty recipe videos on Facebook and they all seem to do this and it looks good. Might be terrible.

Sorry about AF flash - hope you're ok and hope you enjoy you lovely dinner xx

I absolutely agree with everyone on the sex issue - me and DH both have low sex drives and we're absolutely fine with that, despite the current difficulties, there's so much more to our relationship than sex. When FW is over, it's like we can finally relax and enjoy each other's company without the pressure. Before TTC we were a once a week/once every couple of weeks kind of couple which we were both happy with - FW really takes it out of us and it's the last thing we want to do the rest of the time - sleep and TV definitely become more of a priority!

Sorry Flash - what dinner have you got?

I'm so sorry about AF Flash and that you've enjoyed your tasty dinner

Thanks to you all for making me feel so normal too, you guys are the best 😘

Oooo I like talking about food. Well I am making sausages, leek gratin and homemade chips! If DH would hurry up and get home from work, AF makes me starving! I'm going to make myself a disaronno sour too! Well a cheats version, can't be bothered with the egg white!

Pasta in milk? I'm intrigued jam let us know how it turns out!

pyjamas if you and your DH are happy, that's what matters.

Anytime Kath, you are normal!

Ooo Also, got my results from the gynae and all is normal/healthy from an infection etc point of view. Just waiting for the letter to see if he's written anything else re fertility referral etc, so I know what timeline I'm working on.

That sounds delicious Flash. We had hot and sour prawn noodles, were cooking so much Thai right now.

Argh you are all making me hungry! Still at work and did a tough exercise class in my lunch break so starving!

Re sex, DH and I go through phases depending on how stressed and busy we are. Before ttc we were usually 3 times a week - both weekend days and one other. For the first 2 years we were together it was way more frequent but guess we're getting old and comfortable now! It's whatever works for you both though - there is no normal!

Keep gratin 😍

Pasta in milk was good... I got a bit experimental and added a blended raw cauliflower which made it a bit grainy

That was meant to read LEEK

That does appeal to me Jam, looks like proper homely cooking xx