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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

We're ovulating again, so let's jump our men. It's TTC after miscarriage thread ten!

999 replies

Doublechocolatetiffin · 03/05/2017 17:55

I hope I did ok with the title (thanks for the inspiration Emwithme). I felt a bit lost without a thread to post on so I thought I'd have a bash at it.

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Lime19 · 13/06/2017 23:30

Emvy, hoping all is ok with you! Understand why you might be anxious. Can totally understand.

I have been told brown blood is old blood. I know many people that have bled throughout pregnancy and been totally fine (not just brown blood either). I also know people that have had no bleeding and turned up to 12 week scan and it's bad news. It's a mystery and some smart dr needs to invent a test that tells you at 5 weeks if the pregnancy is viable. Imagine how much money that would make!

It's out of your control so all you can do is "wait and see". as much as I hate that term, said to me millions of times in my last pregnancy, it's all we can really do.

Wait and see...
That the blood was old and scan is good when you get there

Wait and see... if my "period" is really a period or is it retained product

Wait and see... if we will be waiting another nine months to get a hint of a bfp

I don't know about anyone else but I've had it up to here with waiting and seeing! Sad but it's all we can do.

emvy · 14/06/2017 06:31

Thank you for your responses everyone Smile

Bertie, I've definitely been trying the, "Today I'm pregnant." I feel so ungrateful! I really am over the moon about being pregnant again, it's just all very scary.

Lime, you're right too. We do just need to "wait and see". Stupid "wait and see". What is this lack of control?! It's no fun!! Are you going to give epu a call about the pain and bleeding?

Lime19 · 14/06/2017 07:16

Unfortunately my epu are so bad. I've called. The earliest they will see me is Thursday. They told me to go to a and e if I'm worried!

My epu is so bad, here's a list of things they have done

Told me I couldn't have a scan due to bleeding because "we don't like to scan more than once a week"

They failed to recognise that twin two fell off the growth chart... I pointed it out to the scan lady and she said "oh yeah that is a bit strange". I've never had confidence in the scan lady there. she told me vanishing twin was very rare and unlikely to happen despite one twin being tiny. Well I did indeed lose one twin first.

They suggested that if I was worried I pay private for my scans. So I ended up paying 95 quid for private scans to see that each twin had died

When I called about my surgical management. They refused to pick up phone. It took over 100 calls to speak to a human. One time they picked up and hung up immediately

They did not believe me when I said both twins had died and insisted on a scan before they would book me in for procedure. This wasted valuable time.

When I turned up for said scan they said "why are you here" and I had to explain the above.

There was a week in between going for the silly scan and my procedure because they are so booked up. They warned me because it was twins and because it was so far along I would likely bleed LOADS and possibly need to go to a and e immediately if it started to happen naturally.

I've sat in that waiting room and watched the various inefficiencies... deliberately not picking up phone, just sitting there doing nothing. One time I even saw an elderly lady in the gyne ward have trouble. She pulled the emergency cord in loo and was feeling unwell and screaming. Nobody came and I seemed more concerned.

This is a criticism of our poor NHS but anytime I've seen a dr, it's been very rushed and they are anxious to leave the room not answer questions I have. It's most likely they are so pressured these days. Too many patients not enough Drs.

Lime19 · 14/06/2017 08:54

I tried calling today to see if they had any cancellations and to see if I could get a scan earlier.

They tried to cancel my scan on Thursday too!

They said "it's too soon to tell" I responded "to tell what?! If there's retained product you will see it"

They said "it's about finding a balance" ahhh now this means they think I'm sucking up resources. This is their little rule that says they would rather "wait and see" than give me an expensive scan.

They said "we need to wait for bleeding to settle". I said "well it did settle after a few days. Then I had a gap. Now I'm spotting"

They said "there is no need for a scan" and I explained the pain and spotting AGAIN.

THey have tried to fob me off three times now. Test on this day they say, I do, it's positive, then they say oh, leave it another few days.

I'm so angry right now Angry just give me a fucking scan! Jeez!

Lime19 · 14/06/2017 08:56

Imagine if other departments did that. "Im sorry you've already had a heart attack this year, we can't treat your broken leg" or "we've already given you a scan to see your cancer, if you want to see if it has come back pay for it yourself"

hometownunicorn · 14/06/2017 09:21

lime I'm so sorry, that's really awful. No matter how overwhelmed and overworked it is still possible to be caring.

Are you going to put in a complaint? If not for your own sake maybe it'll change things for other women after you?

Starshine1 · 14/06/2017 10:20

Oh lime that is awful. I really do think people need to complain for services to change as complaints have to be acted on. i reckon a lot of the time staff are trying to battle the problems too, but the powers that be don't take notice until complaints come in.

Have been reading to catch up on this thread. So much lovely support.

Hope you're ok emvy

TheGrumpySquirrel · 14/06/2017 10:22

@Lime19 that sounds horrendous! I'm upset with my EPU for making me miscarry naturally at home at 10wks which was highly traumatic (surgery was booked for 4 days time, they knew that would be too late). But otherwise they've been good with scanning and follow ups.

7dpo (or 6, or 8) now and symptom spotting like a crazy person. Testing fri/sat and then we shall see. On Saturday it will have been a month exactly since my MMC completed. No sign of AF yet.

AnneLovesGilbert · 14/06/2017 10:40

I can't believe how bad your EPU has been Lime, that's absolutely appalling. Makes me so angry to think women are being so let down at such a shitty and vulnerable time.

How are you feeling now?

So so happy for you emvy, it's massively nerve wracking, the whole thing, but I feel really positive for you. No pun intended Wink

Pretty I ovd last Thursday, so a few days in to the 2WW. Feeling a lot calmer and more sane than last month as no holiday deadline to contend with. Looking back I can't believe how much of a state I got myself in Blush FFS I was either going to pregnant or not.

Thank you to everyone who patiently pandered to me Grin Love you guys.

Does anyone know why I'm ovulating earlier in my cycle than I used to? And is it good or bad?

I read that the luteal phase stays roughly the same every cycle so if you ovulate early you should get af early too. But that hasn't been my experience.

Had a tiny panic about the news of loads of low-dose aspirin related deaths this morning! But it was about the over 75s, so I'll just crack on following doctor's orders.

Grumpy, we're about the same CDs. How are you doing?

Welcome lovely new people. So sorry for all your losses Flowers

Thinking of you Nicola, let us know how you're doing x

Doublechocolatetiffin · 14/06/2017 11:49

Lime your EPU sound awful, mine were too - I wonder if they are the same. I wish the NHS weren't so terrible when it comes to pregnancy and fertility. It's a massively stressful thing to go through and battling your way through the crappy NHS system makes it so much worse. I hope you get some answers soon.

I'm feeling really crap today. No signs of ovulation at all, it should be now I'm cd 16. I think I'm not going to ovulate this month which means another wasted month. I got a bill through the post for my treatment in France where they diagnosed the mmc. That's hit me pretty hard, being charged to tell you that your baby is dead is shit.

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TheGrumpySquirrel · 14/06/2017 11:59

@Doublechocolatetiffin aren't you covered under the EU health insurance card scheme? My MMC was diagnosed in Spain, I didn't have to pay. Are you covered by travel insurance? Worth checking.

@AnneLovesGilbert I'm bored and fed up! I've got slightly sore / tingly boobs and nausea / fatigue but that could be lack of sleep. Cervix is low which is a bad sign but have lots of wet cm still which is good. If not even a squinter by Saturday (10dpo) I'm assuming I'm out. Have been testing with ICs daily to help the POAS urge! Have two FRER with me (I'm abroad right now). Saving them till Friday at least.

AnneLovesGilbert · 14/06/2017 12:13

Sorry you're having a shit time of it Grumpy. I've never a BFP before 13DPO, when have you had them in the past?

DH just asked me when I'm going to test. Hadn't even thought of it tbh.
We work together and I just nearly chundered walking past a meeting room with a load of hot food in. DTD has been incredibly, ahem, efficient the last few days on my part his exact words were "you're coming like a train, which is always a sign you're knocked up" Blush

After the last cycle of sheer bloody madness I'm going to try and not think about it for as long as humanly possible this time.

tiffin, that's fucking awful. What would happen if you ignored it? I can't see anyone coming knocking! Or call your GP and ask what they suggest?

TheGrumpySquirrel · 14/06/2017 13:01

Hmm that's a good point @AnneLovesGilbert but I'm away on a business trip so can't test the theory! It is true though 😳 I remember from last time

When I got my bfp on 29 march I was 10dpo but it was a v faint line on a FRER. Tested again at 12DPO and got a nice clear pink line. I know it isn't necessarily the same each time (plus I'm less sure on ov date this month) but I'll be quite depressed if no second line by Sunday!

AnneLovesGilbert · 14/06/2017 14:07

Better to test at home I think, so go for Saturday and see what happens. Crossing everything for you!

Sorry for oversharing, but it's definitely been a thing for me before. Also once, in March I think the cycle after my last mc, when it had me convinced but turned out not to be.

Ho hum. Can but wait and see.

I can totally relate to what a few other people have said recently about almost wondering if your luck's run out. I conceived 3 times in 6 months, was really on a roll for a while Hmm but it didn't get me anywhere did it, so maybe my body needed a chance to recharge after all the crap and trauma. My cycle has calmed down a bit recently and my PMT (apart from the dreaded crying and incessant naffing feelings) is better, so hoping it won't be much longer.....

Doublechocolatetiffin · 14/06/2017 14:10

To be honest I didn't realise they were going to charge me. I thought the European health card would have meant that. Not that they showed any interest in seeing it, they just told me off for not carrying my blood group card Hmm - clearly a thing in France but not here!

I was surprised to see a bill come through the post 3 months after the event. I don't speak and French though so I have no idea what it says (although it's clearly asking for money). We asked at the time if we needed to pay and the consultant said no. I doubt we can claim on our insurance because (having been told we didn't need to pay) we haven't told them about it and it's probably way too late now.

My DH said he'd sort it out, it's just not what I needed when already feeling pretty fed up with it all.

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INeedABiggerBoat · 14/06/2017 14:21

Hi everyone, can I join this thread? Got my first ever BFP last Tuesday after over a year of trying but started spotting on Friday. Hospital's been great and got me in for first blood test on Monday, just had my second where they told me my levels were really low (12 at 6 weeks). And when I got home the bleeding amped up. I don't need them to call me back, I know what's happened.
Hoping that my cycle will be fairly 'normal' which would mean I'll ovulate while on holiday in Italy in a few weeks' time. Perfect place surely, surely...

AnneLovesGilbert · 14/06/2017 14:30

I hope it's not too much more stress, on top of what you've already been through tiffin xxx

So sorry to hear that BiggerBoat Flowers Are you still bleeding? Glad you've had decent care, it's incredibly mixed depending on where you live.

With each of my losses I've been lucky to get af within 4 weeks and been able to just crack on. It can take longer and varies between people, but wishing you an easy as possible time of this, and a quick return to a physical normal, if nothing else. Hope you've got real life support as well as us lot.

TheGrumpySquirrel · 14/06/2017 14:39

@Doublechocolatetiffin it may not be too late to claim on travel insurance, you just need to prove that the treatment was medically necessary (I think) e.g. Letter from French hospital. I have a voicemail from my insurers (I tried to claim for new flight home and lost hotel costs) but I think when I call back they will tell me that they aren't gonna pay because my letter from the Spanish hospital doesn't say "you have to go home immediately". 🙄

TheGrumpySquirrel · 14/06/2017 14:40

Oh and in Spain they needed to see my EHIC in order for me not to be charged.

Doublechocolatetiffin · 14/06/2017 15:39

Thanks Grumpy I'll get my DH to speak to them, he is really good at dealing with stuff like this when it's all got too much for me. I was surprised they didn't want to see it, but they weren't the friendliest bunch, to be honest it made the NHS look pretty good!

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Lalalax3 · 14/06/2017 16:24

Can I join in? Miscarried at 11 weeks in April, which was as traumatic as you can imagine. Given the tablets then sent home to deal with the whole thing by myself. Due to test for attempt #2 this weekend.

TheGrumpySquirrel · 14/06/2017 16:25

Massive shock! HSBC travel insurance is PAYING out!!! I just sent them the letter from the Spanish hospital - which I KNOW doesn't say I needed to travel home immediately- they are paying me £525 minus just £50 excess, for the hotel night I lost and the new flight home! So fucking happy 😊

@Doublechocolatetiffin sorry you had a bad experience. The hospital in Barcelona was great about it all.

TheGrumpySquirrel · 14/06/2017 16:26

@mrsgembles sorry to hear that, I had the same experience (a month ago) and had to deal with it all at home which was very traumatic. I will keep you company as I am also testing this weekend!

AnneLovesGilbert · 14/06/2017 16:34

What a result Grumpy! Yay for HSBC! What a relief.

So sorry for your loss mrsgembles, that's very late to have medical management at home, how awful for you. How many cycles have you had since then and did you get a BFN?

Lalalax3 · 14/06/2017 16:38

Thanks TheGrumpySquirrel here's to peeing on sticks!

Hallo AnneLovesGilbert I've had one period since the miscarriage, but def ovulated twice (once before period and once about 9 days ago). And yes, it was basically labour, I delivered into our toilet and I'll never forgive the EPU for making me do that.