We're ovulating again, so let's jump our men. It's TTC after miscarriage thread ten!

[Doublechocolatetiffin]

I hope I did ok with the title (thanks for the inspiration Emwithme). I felt a bit lost without a thread to post on so I thought I'd have a bash at it.

hmm

I must be desperate to feel happy again, I've turned to mindfulness. I got a book and so far it is making me feel calmer.

My favourite quote so far:

If you've been unable to change a bad situation, even after many attempts
You should change how you look at the situation
Nothing is intrinsically good or bad
Good or bad is always relative
Compare your situation to someone's that is worse
Now yours doesn't seem so bad after all

I guess it's true. I'm thinking of the people in the London attack and Manchester bombing.

Waiting for my period to return doesn't seem so bad after all...

I'll probably think this is all bollocks tomorrow but tonight it's calming me

Such a good way of thinking of things lime. I do always find I'm reminding myself of this when I let myself get overwhelmed by it all.

Unfortunately the dr wasn't interested in giving me a blood test. They offered to do their own pregnancy test "for my peace of mind", but that seems pointless. I've spent about £40 on tests this month so I have plenty more of those at home! Basically, she suggested I was simply worried because of last time and that a faint positive is still a positive. So I'm just going to sit on my hands and I'll be testing again tomorrow afternoon.

lime, that is a good way of thinking of it although it is ok to feel sh!t after mc. It will start to get better but some days it will be sh!t and you have to allow yourself to grieve.

emvy, i really hope you get a lovely dark line tomorrow, so sorry you're still waiting for it.

Turquoise, your posts could have been written by me! My DC1 is also 3 (although just over 3 and a half) and i hear everything you're saying!

I'm in the awful TWW and am a HT (hotel twat) - CD21 and 9 dpo. Got a very tiny bit of spotting this morning when i wiped and have had slightly tender boobs (i think, but i sometimes wonder if my mind is playing tricks on me) for the past few days. Now I'm wondering if i am a bit crampy and wondering if I'm just headed for a really early AF. It's all such a head f**k, isn't it .

AF arrived today. Had a bikini wax booked, now I have to embarrassingly ring up and explain and try to postpone it.

Sorry to hear that flash. Sigh! It really is a crappy time.

I'm working from home today so I don't have to see my pregnant friend. So in other words, I'm hiding.

I feel so embarrassed that when it happened, I confided in her too. All along she was pregnant! What a twat I feel! I also really hate that people feel sorry for me.

2 weeks today since my procedure. No point testing. It's still positive. Thinking about going to gp. I feel like I still have not got closure and I have a million questions. I know the answer is "wait and see" for most of them.

Time goes so slowly when you are trying for a baby. It's like being a kid and waiting for Christmas. Loooooong!

Lime it's 3 weeks since my MC completed, I didn't have surgery. I stopped bleeding a week after and got negative pregnancy test 2 weeks after. I ovulated yesterday. It might not be too far away for you! Did you usually track ov? All the best x

Awww @flash I am really sorry to hear that. Onward, upward and ultimately waxward!

So sorry flash. That really sucks.

Lime it really is shit. I think there's an extra shit part after a few weeks when everyone seems to expect you to somehow be back to normal, when no such thing exists. Be kind to yourself. I still tested positive after more than 3 weeks. My EPU said it would be up to 4. I know the waiting is really shit, but try not to worry too much. Af came for me after 31 days (normally 26).

Really hope you get a nice strong lime today emvy

Lime I had bleeding and positive tests for nearly three weeks after my MC, and then got my period on week 4 - didn't bother tracking ovulation that cycle but I'm guessing I ovulated when I was still bleeding and with HCG in my system - most odd!

I'm now on CD 13, got a high day on CB digi on Monday so was worried I was ovulating too early and haven't yet had a peak day so of course I'm worried I'm not going to ovulate can't be happy whichever way it goes!

Normally... and I really hope it returns. My cycles were on shorter side 26, 27 or 28 days. Ovulation for me is usually pretty clear... with loads of ewcm. I hope it just comes back like that. It was almost perfect. Sigh

Mine looks to be pretty similar so far lime. After the initial. Only just pin pointing ov, but makes sense a bit more now. Fx it comes back quickly for you!

lime I bled for about 3 weeks from the start of my mc, had a week off, then got my period a week later. So hopefully it won't be too long. I've had weird periods since but feeling more positive this cycle (3rd since mc). Just starting the tww so who knows how I'll be feeling in a week or so though! I hope everything gets back to normal for you soon.

flash I'm so sorry - I hope you have something nice planned for the weekend. Hugs.

lime first mc was natural bleed for a week and had neg test a week later. 2nd mc was a mmc at 10 weeks and medical management. Bled for almost 3 weeks and pregnancy test was positive after 2 weeks and neg after 3. I then got af one week later....

This cycle seems to be late ov for me, and although a nice strong line on my opk no ewcm that I could see. So we shall see. If no luck this month I'm going to fire up the cbfm again and through everything I have at it.

emvy fingers crossed you get a great line today.

@Lime19
Thank you for that quote I read your post last night, it did make me feel a bit better about things.

In the wider, world context, I do not have problems at all.

This TTC is so internalised by me, I only show my true colours on here.

You're right though, for me on some days I'll probably think that quote is total bollocks!

I've downloaded the Headspace app- but yet to find the time to make use of it!

Did I start the HT (Hopeful Twat) thing?!

I most certainly was a HT a few days ago, daring to think I could be pregnant, not because of any specific symptoms but just because I've had unprotected sex recently

CD30 had the classic spotting then AF got me properly yesterday!

Onwards & upwards- cycle 12 now I think? Not sure, I've lost count- and the will!

I caved and tested. 2nd wee but held for ages. I think it might be lighter well that has cheered me up! Today is a good day on this stupid bloody journey through hell!

Just had 3 very sharp stabbing pains in left pelvic region - so painful made me catch my breath. Could it be that I'm a day out and that was actually ov not yesterday? 48hrs post surge? Anyone here who normally gets ov pain? Or implantation? Hopeful

Lime I'm sorry - it is really depressing. Can you arrange something nice to distract you for the next week or so?

Is anyone else here ttc after stillbirth? Or is there another thread? I can hardly bear to share my story or write about my daughter here, this year has been and continues to be horrendous. I have connected with some other mothers via Sands and wondered if there was also a mumsnet thread. I'm sad to see how busy this thread is. It's not a club anyone wants to be part of.

So sorry to hear about your daughter, Daisy. I don't think there is another thread that I can see, of course you're welcome here. You could start a thread in miscarriage/pregnancy loss as well if you want to? A friend of mine in real life very sadly lost a daughter to stillbirth a couple of years ago and she has a beautiful baby boy now, so there is hope.

Grumpy I think 2 days is too early for implantation but could be ovulation pain.

Daisy I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I cannot imagine. 💐 I don't know if there is a ttc after stillbirth specific thread. You are most welcome here, if you feel like this would be a helpful place for you, and I hope you would never feel pressured to share your story unless you wanted to. The ladies on here have been very supportive in difficult circumstances.

Sitting and waiting at the recurrent mc clinic at St. George's.... expectations are so low of what they can do or say... must locate my positivity!

Daisy am also so sorry for your loss. Sending love abs hope you get as much rl support as you can.

So sorry daisy. No words, I can't imagine. You are very welcome here. These ladies have been a great support to me in the few days I've been on this thread.

Thanks ladies, I'll follow quietly, as I have been for a little while. Lots of my feelings are the same as many of yours, of course. I don't think the stage of pregnancy you reach is necessarily the biggest factor in how hard the loss of a baby hits you. How long it took to conceive, whether you have any other children, how old you are, all these things play a part. It's devastating for all of us for our own reasons. I'm terrified of ttc again but the thought of never being pregnant again is even worse.