We're ovulating again, so let's jump our men. It's TTC after miscarriage thread ten!

[Doublechocolatetiffin]

I hope I did ok with the title (thanks for the inspiration Emwithme). I felt a bit lost without a thread to post on so I thought I'd have a bash at it.

Ok I clearly didn't refresh the page before I sent that message because there are about 20 more messages sorry 😂

Oh the joy of the celebrity twin births beginning 😩.

Sorry you've been hit with another announcement and same date as well, so sorry. Deffo get on that wine!!

Here are other my other thoughts for tonight:

I've definitely hit the anger stage of grief.

I think miscarriage when you have a toddler is cruel... if I hear "at least you have a kid already" one more time I might cry. It makes me feel bad because it's like people are telling me I'm not grateful. I am thanks very much. He's been my light in all of this. I'm just sad I can't give him a sibling.

All the things I would do in shit times (go on lovely holiday, and go occupy myself at weekend with cinema and seeing friends and cry endlessly) I can't do because I have a toddler. It seems I'm already stuck in the constant talking about babies phase. Which under normal circumstances is ok but PLEASE I don't need it right now! I need distraction not a bloody debate on baby led weaning and discussion about how many words your toddler can say!

That age gap is getting bigger. Soon he will be at school and I will (maybe) have a newborn. Not ideal. I had planned (stupid twat for planning) to spend more time with him on maternity leave.

I'm on day 13 post Surgical management. I am willing to bet my house that my period won't show up anytime soon. Just my luck. Time is going so slowly and every day feels like a mind numbing repeat of the previous day. All joy sucked out.

Hearing people's happy announcements is harder than I could ever imagine. I'm feeling embarrassed that people pity me.

I wish I hadn't ordered maternity trousers. Thanks for the reminder new look!!!

That's it for tonight. My app says I'm day 13 and it's been my worst day so far. Unlucky for some is 13.

Please tell me it gets better. I've never wanted to see a bfn so badly and to see a pair of pants ruined with af how times have changed

Lime I'm so so sorry. It's really shit. I wish I could make it go away, unfortunately, just have to ride it out. It does get easier. It doesn't go away, but 9 weeks on it is easier. ❤️

I'm so sorry you had a bad day lime. It does get easier. Anger stage is definitely a normal one! Day 13 is quite early to get an af post surgery but I have everything crossed it rears its head asap!

So here is this morning's test. I'm really sorry if this is pissing anyone off. It's annoying the hell out of me too and I'm certainly not going over the positive after mc pregnancy thread because each day that goes by I'm more convinced this is not viable.

No darker. At all. Literally the f*cking same. My symptoms have got increasingly worse this week. How is it that I have awful nausea, almost constantly sore boobs and can't stay awake, yet a test is telling me there are barely 10miu of hormones in my body. I hate this. I almost wish I'd just got my af and then I could move on with next month instead of each day ticking by with this weak, non-descript result. I want to cry. I want to book a blood test. Instead, I'm taking my class on a school trip so will have zero minutes to myself today. Ffs.

Oh and bottom test is today's, top Monday's.

Here's my thoughts emvy: you could try taking a digi? Sometimes seeing 1-2 on a clear blue makes you feel better.

You could try testing at a different time. Try an evening test? Both times I have been pregnant, I tested after 8pm. Saw the line! Tested in morning to confirm and got a bit worried as it wasn't darker.

As you say a blood test would be good too.

I feel for you because for us people that have had a shit time we need proof that things are ok. For me I fear the only proof will be a baby born and in my arms. A line or a heartbeat on a scan, not so much.

I really hope it darkens asap! Someone needs to invent a test with a number on it...how much hcg you have.

Thanks lime. I hear you on the baby in our arms thing. I will never relax until that happens. However, a nice clear line would be an awesome start! Ha.

I will test at a different time - good idea. I'm hesitant to do a digital because they test higher levels of hcg than 10miu don't they? So I would probably get a negative result if I'm barely showing positive on an early detection?

Loving the idea of a test that gives levels of hcg! Get on the research you could make yourself a mint, haha.

Sorry you are still in limbo emvy x

So from my cheap OPK it looks like today is ov day. I also looked at the CBFM stick lines from the last 3 days and yesterday's were equal strength which is meant to be a Peak (from my internet research!) so I think it just didn't pick it up for some reason. Possibly as I still had HCG in my system post MC when I started using the monitor, so it may have set the threshold for LH too high (as it's similar to HCG) so failed to "see" the surge.

This means I will be testing from 10dpo on 17th June.. & an EDD of 28 February if we are successful this cycle.

Yes the digital test higher levels, but a urine test isn't accurate for numbers. It'll give you a yes or no but no more than that.

Sorry this is so worrying. The only bit of reassurance I can give is that sometimes you're dealing with such low numbers anyway that the time taken to double seems to go very slowly and in fact everything is okay. Doubling time of 72 hours is the slowest it can be normal but that means testing at 24 hour intervals won't show you any progression. Plus a double of say 6 to 12 could still give you an unclear line even on a 10miu test. Try leaving longer between tests. But I do know this frustration and sadly when it happened to me the pregnancy was not viable.

There is a hcg multiplying calendAr somewhere online which might be reassuring?

I'm sorry emvy I hope you get an answer soon! How many days are you on now? I tried the digital test.. For me it gave me a clear answer either way! You can get a clear blue early detection digital... Supposed to be able to detect up to 5 days early..
lime I'm sorry things are tough it really does get easier.. Some days are still incredibly tough but generally day to day it gets a little better.
For me after erpc it took 30 days for af to arrive and for the bfn on a test..

Sorry the tests are causing you worry emvy. FX it's just very early days, or you are metabolising the hcg at a rate where it doesn't show up as well on a text.

BFN for me this morning at 12 dpo, on a FRER.

I was definitely a hopeful twat as sore boobs are gone and spotting and cramping have started. Am I insane. Can I really have imagine the things I've felt this past week?

Thank you everyone.

I will have a look at the hcg calculator thing online bertie, thank you. Your post has lessened my stress levels slightly! And I'll buy a cb early detection digital for a few days time smurf. I'm on cd day 35, potentially 18dpo but not sure on ov date.

Sorry you got a bfn despite symptoms flash. Maybe it's just too early? I mean look at my bloody results after af is 5 days late! So 12dpo would never have shown anything for me yet my symptoms are certainly not imagined. I have everything crossed for you!

Fx for you grumpy!

@emvy this is the one I use

whenmybaby.com/implantation-doubling-calculator.php

Sorry you don't have clearer answers emvy and for the bfn flash.

@emvy hear you- stay strong and positive.

@flash offs I am desp to test but not going to cave as I have another two days and the old af may give me the answer. 'It's time I stopped googling preg symptoms before tww. Doing my head in. I am boring myself.

Angli I am going to wait til Friday, 14 dpo, if no AF I will test again with a FRER.

It's sooooo hard to not though. I keep noticing pre pregnancy symptoms. But I haven't ovulated yet!! So I'm completely insane!

@Lime19
Sorry to hear you've been having a difficult time

This was me almost 1 year ago although I'd gone for medical management.

Yes yes to all you wrote about having a toddler & miscarriage.

The age gap thing- this pains me so much but I try not to think about it too much, there is nothing I can do about it- apart from get pregnant again!

I should have a 6 month old right now, my LO is 3 and a quarter.

Any age gap now is going to be at least FOUR years!
I could never have imagined that if you'd asked me a couple of years ago.

But there's nothing we can do apart from keep TTC- which we have done since July last year.

Being 38 (few months away from 39) I've now decided to investigate private fertility investigations.
I've had tests via my GP but I want more things checked out now.

It's been almost 12 months and time is running out!

I'm starting to really think something is wrong as I've conceived straight away at the ages of 34 & 37 (conceived April last year).

I know it could just be "one of those things" (I've got colleagues aged a decade or more younger than me who took 1-2 years to conceive with no reason for this) but I want to rule any problems out.

This all feels very last chance saloon for me (sorry to be so dramatic)!

@flash - I caved and tested at 12 dpiui - bfn of course. I am wee wee central today its ridiculous like every ten mins or so- and was shattered yesterday but otherwise no symptoms . You? Here is a cheering picture of my cat fat Brian.

lime I'm sorry you are feeling this way. And I know what you mean too, this will be baby 3 for me and it's no way any more wanted than my first two. People tell me all the time I'm lucky I have two already and I know that. I feel so bloody lucky, but it doesn't Stop me wanting another. I have a bigger gap between the two I have due to just not getting pregnant, it took 18 months to conceive and although not what I planned the bigger gap has its benefits too. Hope af shows up soon. Mine was actually quite quick to show up despite bleeding for almost 3 weeks post mc. I hope yours shows up soon.

emvy it definitely does not annoy me you posting tests. This is exactly why we are all here. For support. I agree with other good advice with different tests and timing I'm sorry you haven't got a clear answer yet.

grumpy I think ov for me was yesterday so I'm going to test next fri, which I think I'll be 11dpo and I'm due out that eve with friends so want to check before drinking wine. That way at least I can go out and enjoy myself if no positive.

Flash you are not a HT. (hopeful twat) I think when you are ttc and more for us after many miscarriages you feel every little twinge so much... and I think the body is cruel and presents af and pregnancy symptoms so similar. Im only just starting the 2ww and can feel the mental creeping in already. Next fri seems a long way off right now.

turquiose I have almost 4 years between my two. No mc, just struggled to conceive for no reason. It's ok, it's not the gap I was aiming for at all, but like I said to lime, surprisingly has many benefits too.

Oh Angli, Fat Brian is a dream. Look at his fuzzy face (I love ginger and whites, well all cats really, but a soft spot for them!)

Sorry for the BFN. Well this morning I thought all my symptoms had disappeared and had some dull cramps so though AF was on the way. But boobs have increased in soreness throughout the day, and still having some burping/nausea.

Thanks NoCats. I keep thinking I should have a child, a 6 month old by now. I should not have to be going through this. I was so sure I would be pregnant by the year anniversary of my ectopic, but it's come and gone and nothing.

It's funny. I always wanted a big gap between kids, which is why I wanted to start relatively young (was 27 when I lost my first), now I'm panicking if I'm lucky enough to get one, that I'll end up with a small gap because I won't feel able to wait in case it takes ages again/we have more problems!

I am going to be good now and not do any more testing till it is time for me to test. i am going to get on with my life yes i am .

Whats a FRER?

Also how do i do that funny thing where you cross out but don't delete what you are secretly thinking?I don't feel like a proper Mumsnetter till i have done it!

Do a double dash in front and at the end of the word or words you want to cross out like this but without the space.

A frer is a first response early result test.

Stay strong angli!

Thanks flash ( ahhhh haarrr)