We're ovulating again, so let's jump our men. It's TTC after miscarriage thread ten!

[Doublechocolatetiffin]

I hope I did ok with the title (thanks for the inspiration Emwithme). I felt a bit lost without a thread to post on so I thought I'd have a bash at it.

Congratulations smurf and peach.

I'm CD3 today and have left emotional/feeling sorry for myself swimchick behind and trying to look forward. Unfortunately i am an emotional eater so have probably put all the weight i lost back on :-(.

It's so nice to have some BFPs - Hope it's catching :-)

Can I ask how long post MC it took you all to get a negative preg test? Will I not ovulate before that? Or is it possible? Not sure how often I should test / when I can start OPKs. I've got lots of cheap IC tests. Friday was what I would call a medium positive - strong but not as dark as the control line (hcg). MC completed on Wednesday.

grumpy it took me three weeks. I had pessaries with medical mc. I took one at 2 weeks post mc and it was positive and then 3 weeks negative. Hope that helps. I also bless for 2 and a half weeks.

Dancing did you take your temps later than normal last weekend? If you assume that April 13/14 was slightly elevated due to later temp taking, then the shift is clearer, looking at the current data there is a subtle shift at CD16 placing ovulation at CD15, but it's a small shift, so very difficult to see. But in combination with the mucous you observed it seems likely that was it.

Spike is incorrect as while some women see a spike, most just find that there is a general shift. I'd place your cover line at about 36.29 which should make the shift easier to see. Ovia doesn't use a cover line which is one of the reasons it's less useful for temping.

Sorry I think I meant smurf 🙈🤦🏼‍♀️ So many of us!

grumpy it took me 4 weeks to get a negative and I must have already ovulated within that time because I got my first af a few days after the negative. I returned to epu after 3 weeks and was told that even though I was, at that point, still showing positive, it was possible my cycle had already kickstarted. Which seems likely considering when af arrived.

BFN this am

Regarding temping, when I first learnt about natural family planning (back in the 90s -- prob when y'all were at primary school!!) we were advised that to get an accurate temp it had to be taken vaginally or anally

Thank you @emvy and @NoCatsHere I guess it will be difficult for OPK to be accurate too then, even if I do ovulate in a couple of weeks.. not sure whether to try and conceive asap or steer clear until first AF. Ideally I'd love to conceive asap for dates but I'm a control freak so the uncertainty of not knowing ov day would bother me...

I don't think that's true these days Water, in any case certainly not for TTC, because it's not so important that you get it right. For NFP it might be more important to get accurate readings.

Grumpy we didn't track much or time sex but didn't use contraception after our miscarriages. We felt like that was a nice compromise.

Thanks Bertie!! Is a cover line like a best fit? It is it below the line is likely to be follicular, above the line likely to be luteal? I swear, I always used to think have unprotected sex any time of the month = high chance of pregnancy!!

Grumpy I got a negative test after about three weeks, but I'm pretty sure I ovd before that. I didn't think I could bear the uncertainty. Didn't want to beat scans not certain of at least af date.

So sorry for bfn water. The instructions on my thermometer did say to do it anally, but there is no way in hell I'm doing that!

@DancingUnicorn thanks.. I feel the same but worried AF will take ages. How long did you have to wait?

30/31 days. Usually 26, so a little longer than usual. Hopefully you get back to normal quickly. The waiting is rubbish.

Thank you, my cycles are usually 30 days. Did you count that from the day of your surgery? My MC completed on Wednesday. I'm not bleeding much anymore but have terrible lower back pain.

Mine was 30 days counting the day of surgery as cycle day 1 grumpy. My cycles have always been a bit haphazard (I think) but I never tracked them before I fell pregnant (god I wish I could go back to being blissfully ignorant). Since mc they've actually been pretty regular though (between 28-30 days). I actually only stopped mc bleeding about a week before af so really we didn't even have time to consider whether to try before as Mother Nature seemed to decide for us!

I got a bfn 2 weeks after surgeival management with mmc and within a week after my two 5 week natural ones. With the first one, I ovd 10 days after it started, so was super fast but still after a bfn.

Such a weird feeling hoping for one. But it's a good/painful sign the process is over and know you can start again x

Wow so many messages here!
Only been a few days since I last checked in on here.

Great to see some BFPs!
Hoping the wave of BFPs is catching

Am on CD14 today and just feeling sorry for myself!

DH had to go abroad to help with his family as FIL has become very unwell and now he is away with work until mid way through next week.

I didn't want to get annoyed with him about going away as his family need him at the moment, I did well to hide it from him!

But it makes me hate myself that TTC has done this to me!

We last DTD late on CD10 so I guess I'm already out of the running!

We should be on it at the moment- today it "ovulation day" in my head although I know it varies from month to month. OPKs indicate that I ovulate around CD14/15

We won't be able to DTD until CD18/19 which feels far too late.
And each month counts for so much esp when you're hurtling towards 39!

All I can do is rant on here to get it all out.

In some ways I was more calm about things that I was early on TTC at the end of last summer, not wanting to "miss out" on the chance each month.

But now we're on cycle 11 post MMC I know that DTD like crazy during my fertile week hasn't made a difference at all! No whiff of a pregnancy at all in that time.

I hate how the MMC has changed me (probably for good) and the whole TTC process has felt so tough.

Hoping that everyone is having a good day today

The cover line is just a tool to help you see the shift. It doesn't have any actual function, it just helps you to see it a bit better. See my charts on fertility friend to see what I mean: www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1ea3be

Your cover line can change from month to month but you can see other useful things from it like a single temp below it on CD 6-10 can be implantation, and when AF is due you can see that your temperature will tend to drop below it when it's imminent, if it stays up, you might be pregnant.

Turquoise you def still have a chance if you DTD late on CD10. And def try as early as you can when he gets back just in case you ovulated later.

Sorry if this is a sensitive question, but perhaps it's time for some investigation?

Thanks Bertie. Useful to see. Might try ff then and input some old data. Although that might just mean I run three apps simultaneously!

Turquoise that sounds really tough. Sorry about your fil. It's completely understandable that so far down the line you consider the timing of things. (I would, and this is only cycle one post mc!)

So sorry you're having a difficult time turquoise. As Bertie mentioned, you're still in with a chance! I get the whole mc has changed me thing - I'm so much more stressed about ttc now than I was before mc.

Thank you for the replies

Yes I keep reminding myself that we could still be in with a chance

Before the MMC we never really had to TTC as it just happened both times after coming off the pill

I think I also hate myself a bit for never quite realising how lucky we'd been in the past.

But when it happens easily & you never encounter problems that's then kind of the "norm" isn't it?

That's ok Bertie
Yes I've had bloods with my GP recently and all ok.
Thyroid function ok
Day 21 progesterone 58
Day 3 FSH around 6.5 and LH around 3

Waiting for DH to get his arse to the GP to do sperm sample and then they can refer us.

I'm 38 and DH a couple years younger...I know it's normal to take 12 months or more.

But I don't feel we have time to just be patient...especially as this time last year I was blissfully happy in the first trimester not yet aware that anything had gone wrong with the pregnancy.

It's so hard to be 12 months down the line and no closer to baby no.2

Yes Bertie that makes sense. Mind you, this was so long ago that it was a mercury thermometer up the fanjo. All very well until I snoozed off and broke one -- luckily in the bed rather than internally

It sounds like you have the right attitude turquoise. Give that oh of yours a kick up the bum in the direction of the gp, ha. I know what you mean, we also fell really quickly without tracking anything and now it doesn't seem to be happening even with tracking! What is that all about?! Probably the whole stress thing... 🤦🏼‍♀️😩

at the idea of breaking a thermometer in situ!!

Tracking/timing doesn't make a huge difference statistically WRT success rates. In fact it can make you overthink it a bit. Look up about vitamins which help to increase the quality of sperm and eggs respectively, that is meant to be the very best thing to do, unless of course you have some kind of problems which are preventing pregnancy, in which case medical intervention is probably your best bet. You can get investigations started after 12 months' trying if you're under 35, 6 months' trying if you're over 35 or after 3 miscarriages regardless of age.

Stress IIRC is really unlikely to make any difference. "Relax and it'll happen!" is a myth.

Well that's good to know Bertie, thanks! Unfortunately I was told by my GP when I went before my pregnancy as I'd missed a period that we had to be ttc for 2 years before we got referred for anything (I guess that's just where we live annoyingly) but that they would begin the usual tests at different points in my cycle so maybe that's how they get around it...

V interesting. Thanks Bertie.

I've now conceived seven (!) times without trying anything extra -- so I'm assuming that what's changed is just my age. I wonder whether anything I do can counterbalance that? Maybe it's just time for me to accept that what will be will be...

For us when we were TTC for the first time, we had to be trying for at least 2 years before any investigations by the NHS. I was under 35 at the time. We were in the process when we were lucky enough to conceive DC1 naturally (after 3 years trying).

This time (after another couple of years if trying) we were told as we had one DC stay, we are not entitled to anything, not even tests. Fair enough. We went to a private clinic a few months later and were about to start treatment but i wasn't immune to rubella do had to get the jabs. Not long after the last one, i fell pregnant again naturally (after another the years it so of trying in total) but had a MC in January.

Can't cope with another three years of trying so agreed with DH that we'll go for IVF at the end of the year if nothing happens. If actually forgotten how horrendous trying was, coupled with dealing with the MC, it's bloody awful!!

I've never tracked my temperature before but have tended to use OPKs which say i end to ovulate around say 14.