We're ovulating again, so let's jump our men. It's TTC after miscarriage thread ten!

[Doublechocolatetiffin]

I hope I did ok with the title (thanks for the inspiration Emwithme). I felt a bit lost without a thread to post on so I thought I'd have a bash at it.

@nicola so sorry to hear such sad news - sending younand dh much mumsnet love - it does make you really stop and think and value what you have :-(
@anne it would have been our due date from first mmc at the weekend too so lots of thoughts of what might have been - although managed to distract my mind from it with a black tie dinner, hen night and my sisters bday where a lot of prosecco was enjoyed - so was not too miserable a weekend at all in the end! I tend to avoid thinking about it which may or may not be a good thing and focus on the present- I think if I stopped and seriously thought about it it might over whelm me!
Got a positive opk yesterday a week earlier than expected so dutifully called dh upstairs for action! Has shifted all my ovia data forward by a week - could it just be cycle not yet quite back to normal after mmc in march? So many questions and ponderables! Was thinking I had another week not to worry and symptom spot but hey ho! Let the tww commence! May just dtd again tonight to be on safe side!

NoCats I've been using the Ovia one, first month this month, but it seems good so far. It's got loads of information and shows you loads of ways that you can track your cycle. I've not tried any others though so I can't say if it's the best.

Sorry about your due date Conker it must be so hard thinking about it all.

I'm sorry people are getting through due dates. That's very hard. Mine would have been mid Nov which seems a long way off but I know it will come quickly.

I used my days free version and got preg with my son. It's a bit clunky but it does do the job. You could add temps if you wanted. Now I use that with fertility friend (I signed up). I'm only continuing the my days as there's more data on it. I found fertility friend helpful as there's a big forum attached plus other's charts to look at. as distracting and absorbing as mn I learnt a lot through the app though.

Hello. I finally miscarried today at 10+2 after baby died at 8wks. I've had such a traumatic experience passing it naturally over the last 3 days I don't know if I dare to TTC again. But can I tentatively join?

Grumpysqurriel I'm so sorry you're joining us here - for your loss and for the traumatic experience you've had with the mc. Take time to listen to what your body needs and to what you need emotionally. There is no rush at all to make a decision regarding ttc again. We are all here to support you through this awful time and help build you up again when you're ready

@TheGrumpySquirrel sorry to see you here. I'm sorry you've had such a rough time. Take care of yourself.

Grumpy ❤️

I've made an appointment today for TTC over a year. They didn't have one until June but it's a next step.

That's a heavy hint to the laws of sod to make me pregnant this month please

Sorry to hear you are having a tough time Grumpy.

So sorry Grumpy

I'm so sorry you've had to make that appointment Bertie. I so hope it's not needed!

Thank you all and hi dancing x
Woke up and can't get back to sleep. Thankfully my bleeding has eased up a lot. Going to focus on healing and getting back to work. I bought some lovely new "thin" work clothes ha ha. Just need to feel like something other than a female reproductive system for a bit.

I have everything crossed that Sod's law does it's job this month for you bertie and you don't have to go through with the appointment!

Grumpy that sounds like a good idea. Glad the bleeding is easing.

nicola

grumpy sorry to see you here.

Bertie Let's indeed hope that that is the case.

I have had a rough couple of days. I'm at college two nights a week and one of the others on the course announced she was pregnant on Monday. Her due date is what mine should have been I managed to hold it together while still there but once I got home I sobbed and sobbed. It's just not bloody fair. I mean, I wish her well with her pregnancy and hope it goes smoothly but I'm supposed to be just as pregnant as she is, not sitting here in the TWW wondering if it's going to happen this month, and if it does, that it'll stick. Fortunately we're coming to the end of the course so there's going to be minimal contact (I don't think we're doing the same second optional module so I'm not sure I'll see her much after half term) but still

I also use the My Days free app. I've used it for a couple of years for period tracking (had a copper coil so non-hormonal) and it does the business (at this stage). I get EWCM when it says I should (!) and ovulate (with a twangy-pop feeling) within a day of when it says I should ovulate.

Hey everyone, sorry I've been gone for a while. Had a horrendous week of hospital appointment + best friend having her baby + due date, and then we went on holiday for a week, so it's been a bit of a time. Welcome to newbies - so sorry for your losses, I hope you find this wonderful bunch of women as comforting and supportive as I have.

My hospital appointment showed a dermoid cyst on my left ovary (I've had one removed before) so they're monitoring me for that. The consultant didn't seem that worried, though so I'm trying not to be. Having to wait until next week for blood tests to check it's nothing nasty as I'm doing CD2 tests at the same time. Fun fun fun.

My due date came and went and it was pretty hard. Luckily it was the first day of our holiday so I had a day just with DH, out in nature - definitely easier than having to go to work. I'm relieved it's over.

Anyway, I'm now in the 2WW, trying not to symptom spot - but I've had insomnia and a headache for three days straight which were my early pregnancy symptoms last time. Though no back pain which I had before. I also had my first EVER migraine on Sunday! Testing on Saturday. Sending love and to you all.

Grumpy sorry for your loss it's rubbish that we're all here, but it's a fabulous group of lovely ladies who are so supportive.

Fingers crossed for you this month Bertie let sods law do its best!

emwithme it's so hard to hear about other people's successful pregnancies isn't it. One of my friends is about a week behind where I should be and I haven't managed to see her since she told me. It's just too much right now.

Peach I'm really sorry you've had such a bad week, it sounds really stressful. I hope all is ok with the cyst.

Has anyone had bad ovulation pains following their miscarriage? I got a positive opk yesterday and have had really strong pains on the right side of my pelvis all morning. I'm hoping it's not a bad thing! I don't think I've had this before.

Em, there's 5 pg women at my work, one who's 3 days off of my due date.
My sil announced her pg 2 weeks after I did, she's due on my birthday. I too haven't managed seeing her, it's too much. It's almost turned into a phobia & I know I can't put it off forever. I just feel like I'll see her & cry. I feel like the only way I'll feel better is if I get pg again; but I haven't had AF since d&c

Omg tiffin yes! The ovulation pain. Especially on the left side, really painful. Never experienced it before!! Also felt twinges on my right side. Definitely not secretly hoping for twins.....

Peach and em. I'm sorry things are tough. I haven't had any new pregnancy announcements, but I can barely look at the pregnant lady in the office. It must be so difficult having people share a due date. Peach hoping they are positive symptoms!!

Had an awful night last night. It's just so hard to dtd when neither party really wants to, and the only reason you're doing it is because of some urine stick having a line on it. I'm so upset. I always imagined ttc would be fun and exciting, and instead I just feel this unbearable weight and need. It's desperation, there is no excitement or hope at all. I really hate it. It's making me so miserable obsessing. My oh has suggested less mn, less temping opking etc, but I don't think that will make my desperation any better. Now I just feel like I'm going to have to do it all secretly. :'( Sorry for the rant. Just feeling dreadful. Don't know how to go on like this, still waiting for the counselling referral to come through.

Tiffin I'm glad it's not just me! I know exactly how you feel about ttc. It's bloody hard isn't it. Not much fun, I really can't be bothered to DTD, but equally desperate to be pregnant again. I think this part of the month is one of the hardest times. All the pressure of getting the timing right etc. At least it looks like you've ovulated today so your fertile window will be over soon. Time then to relax for a couple of weeks until testing time.

Yeah, that's a good way of looking at it. Just a couple more to make sure we caught it. It's just so crap. Feel like I've waited my whole life to b trying, and now I'm at this point I hate it, and hate myself for how it's making me. Oh well.

@Tiffin Yes I had the same thing! Although it was only for the first couple of months, then it seemed to die down. The first month was so painful I cried!

@Em, @Yellow My half-sister/best friend is due on my birthday too. I naively assumed I'd be pregnant by then (it will be 9 months since my miscarriage) but it's looking unlikely. It's really tough, isn't it? It helped me to moan about it to DH!

@Unicorn DH and I went through the same thing and it really is horrible. DTD when you're not in the mood really sucks. Sometimes I wonder if it's a sign that it's not a good day - but then I also think it's partly just because of the pressure! What I try to do now is to send him little flirty messages throughout the day so that we're both kind of slightly more "in the zone". How long have you been temping? Are your cycles pretty regular? I've stopped OPKing religiously because it was just showing me the same thing every single month, and that has definitely helped me to relax a bit about things. But it sounds like you're really struggling in general so maybe that wouldn't help. I'm so sorry you're feeling so awful - we're all here for you and we're all listening.

dancing I do the opk secretly. I find it easier for me to be in control of my body so I can't give them up!! But I do them and then it's not hard to get oh to dtd when I need him too! Even if he does suspect something I don't think he suspects I poas on the sly! Sometimes I feel bad, but mainly I like being in control and he doesn't need to know everything...makes the whole dtd feel more spontaneous which I think helps.

Can I join in please? I'm just recovering from an ectopic, I had methotrexate so we can't try for another month to make sure it's totally out of my system. I have an almost 4 year old dd, who took a while to conceive but was my first pregnancy, then I had a MMC in 2015 which we both really struggled with, and didn't ttc for over a year after, not helped by being horribly sick right up until the day I went for my ercp.

I'm sorry this thread needs to exist, and especially sorry for people coping with other bereavements as well as this, it's shit But I'm glad to have found you.

@FresasAndFrambuesas Welcome and so sorry that you're having to join us. It's so cruel that you often continue having symptoms after a MMC - I had the same experience and it was just awful. Lots of to you xx

Thanks guys. Think I will abandon SMEP and opks next month and just try the temping. Seems less invasive and involves less accidentally peeing on my hand! It's my first month trying it, so I'll see how it looks. My cycles pre mc were regular, and a lovely short 26 days so I'm hoping for more of the same!

So sorry you are here fresas. I'm sad it has to exist too, but everyone has been so lovely and supportive. It's nice to have a place to come where people unfortunately understand. 💐

nicola I'm so very sorry .

grumpy and fresas, sorry for your losses and the fact you find yourselves here.

bertie, keeping everything crossed for you and peach, hope all is ok and that you're symptoms are indeed symptoms.

I'm on CD26 and I can feel the familiar cramps coming so I know I am out for another month and I just wasn't to howl. Especially after BF's news. I just need someone to say it will definitely happen but just now I fell that worth each passing month, the hope it's fading and fading.