We're ovulating again, so let's jump our men. It's TTC after miscarriage thread ten!

[Doublechocolatetiffin]

I hope I did ok with the title (thanks for the inspiration Emwithme). I felt a bit lost without a thread to post on so I thought I'd have a bash at it.

also did anyone see this from the weekends guardian. She sums it up so well i think. www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/may/13/hadley-freeman-miscarriage-silence-around-it

Hi @Halloumi , I am planning on testing this weekend (if i can wait that long) got my postive OPK last Saturday and these seem to be the longest 2 weeks...

I had a really vivid dream last night that i was in hospital and having another miscarriage. It seemed so real when i woke up :-(

Hope everyone is OK, it's new week x

Halloumi, I should wait until the 29th... but I'm away for the bank holiday so will test Sat morning on the 27th. I'm due to ov today/tomorrow I think, though I think I missed the opk surge. Hoping the temp chart will help me identify it! Hopefully we can both avoid symptom spotting!!

Nocats thanks for the link. This, just this: "This is because a miscarriage is supposed to be forgotten, ignored, never spoken about again, except maybe in a whisper with another woman who has just gone through it, and only once you have healthy babies yourself, so that there is a reassuring happy ending to the tale."

😢

Glad to have a POAS buddy dancing, and someone to wish away the next two weeks with. Thanks for the article nocats, really hit home with me too. The whole 'Because of this silence, people don’t realise how traumatic miscarriage is until it happens to them' really rings true, I can tell close friends are starting to get a bit 'are we still talking about this?' about it and I feel like I should be back to my normal cheery self by now, while at the same time feeling I'll never be 'normal' again!

so true those quotes halloumi and dancing all of those things, like you have to be cheery. a really good friends husband saw me at a kids party on the saturday i was booked in that afternoon to go for my medical management and he asked as you do how are you? and i replied with normal cheeriness oh i'm great thanks when really i wanted to tell him, or burst into tears. the secrecy really gets to me, be quiet about being pregnant and also quiet when you lose it. i dont understand it - it makes me so sad.

and yes too at halloumi i feel the same, like its done now and i couldn't bring it up again, when actually there's a few dates that come and go and i want to say, i had to cancel my 12 week scan today, or i would have been 20 weeks by now, blah blah - but i also feel if i bring it up again i'm dragging it out or something?

Thanks for the kind words everyone. I didn't ever really "get into" the pregnancy as I was so worried I'd be here again, it still hurts though.

To console myself I'm having a duvet day on the sofa with chick flicks and the leftover kids Easter eggs!

Good luck to all those due to be testing soon 😀

Hey all, I've been away for the weekend so Monday seems much easier than usual today.

I'm not quite sure when I should be testing/awaiting af as my last cycle (first full one since mc) was shorter than usual. So, I think if af doesn't show sometime between Sunday and next Wednesday I'll test. I had loads of ewcm this month so feeling quite hopeful that we timed it right but I'm trying to temper it and not get too excited. I'll join in any crazy symptom spotting that's going on though!

Hi everyone, welcome to the newcomers I'm so sorry you find yourselves here though

Halloumi and Dancing I think I'm a couple of days behind you as I have a long cycle. I'm due to test on the 2nd. Just got the strongest line to date on the opks, I think tomorrow it'll be a positive! I'm feeling hopeful now as I didn't get anything remotely this strong when I tested last month.

Tiffin that's a bit stronger than the one I did yesterday. Absolutely nothing this morning... I'm assuming I've missed the surge. Can you do another one later today?

Dancing could it just be that you used fmu? I think the hormone gets stronger during the day so people say to test late morning or early afternoon. Good idea for me to test again today too, I'll do that. I've been doing them daily for a nearly a week so I can see the lines getting darker. Also DTD ever other day, but might up that to daily this week whilst it's my fertile week. Then keep everything crossed for a positive at the start of June.

Nocats good news about your BFN (god that sounds wrong!) Here's to everything being back to normal

I'm so sorry usedtorun What an absolute shitter of a time you're having. I don't know what the answer is in terms of carrying on or not - you can only work out with time what's best for you. But I do know people who've had multiple miscarriages - including ectopics - and have gone on to have healthy pregnancies and babies. All hope isn't lost x

I found that Hadley Freeman article really moving Nocats the secrecy thing is so weird - I've been quite open about my miscarriage but can see it's made people uncomfortable and have really seen who my friends are through it. In the past when it's happened to people I've know, I've bought it up and talked about it with them, while wondering if I was doing the right thing. But having gone through it, I wish more people would have been the same to me. Only a couple have been straightforward and asked me how I am without seeming embarrassed. FFS, it's almost making me feel like I should be ashamed of what's happened

Hi everyone, been awol for a bit. Currently CD13 and think I'm ovulating today.

It's my due date from my MMC last November this week so what could have been is on my mind a lot.

Been keeping really busy and trying to look forward and be grateful for what I have and hopeful for the future. 3rd cycle on the aspirin so still hoping that helps.

I'll have a proper catch up on how you all are. Welcome to new people, so sorry for your losses x

Hi All,

Sorry I've been AWOL, had the most horrendous week last week. My husbands brother committed suicide so unfortunately BD wasn't the priority so looks like it will be another month of waiting. I know it's the last thing on mine or my husbands minds at the moment. Has kind of put things into perspective though and whilst it's rubbish we have gone through all this miscarriages etc, we are so happy with everything else and so thankful to have each other. I'm going for a slightly better week this week. Xx

Oh Nicola. I'm so sorry for your loss. That must be so difficult for you, and your family. ❤️

Thanks @dancingunicorn. My husband hasn't spoken to his brother for nearly 15 years but it's still been an awful shock and he's trying to support his parents who just aren't coping well at all. Xx

Understandable Nicola. I can't even begin to imagine. I wish there was something I could say, but I'm not sure anything will suffice. I'll be thinking of you.

Anne I have my fingers crossed for you. It must be so hard with your due date coming up. I think it's natural for what could have been to be on your mind. I really hope your bfp will come and stick from this egg. 💐

So, opk this morning was maybe only just positive I think. Will try again when I get home from work. Really hope I can catch this one.

Nicola I'm so sorry - what a dreadful thing. I hope you, your husband and family find a way through this with each other

@Nicola I'm so sorry, that's really sad. I hope you and your husband are ok. It sounds like you're a really supportive couple.

@AnneLovesGilbert that's hard. You sound like you're doing your best to keep going. I hope you get that BFP that sticks soon

nicola i'm so sorry that is an awful shock for your husband and his family.

anne all those dates really stick in your mind don't they. I think the 'would have been' due date one of the worst for what ifs. i hope that you catch that egg this month. x

Thanks all. I really appreciate your kind words and thoughts. I feel so selfish even thinking it but I'm upset we have had yet another set back..just as we were coming to terms with hopefully becoming pregnant again. We have our house on the market too and we were so excited to move etc. His brother took his own life so I think that's why I'm angry because I think all this could have been prevented and the way it was done has left a horrendous image for his parents who found him. I just wish it could all go away. Xx

@NicolaC17 Oh sorry to hear that, its very sad but selfish on his part to leave your in laws with that awful memory.

@Anne Good to hear you back, i had noticed you were absent last week. Hope you are doing ok. Milestones are always a shit one! I keep thinking...'i would have been 26 weeks by now' Ah well.

I am on CD34 at the min and 10 dpo, did n IC this morning and of course it was negative...:-( wished i had held off. I do have my scan on Thursday though to check the size of the cyst they found. 6 weeks has gone so fast , but in the same time really dragged.

Oh Nicola how awful. I hope you and you DH are ok. My thoughts are with you at this very difficult time.

I have a positive opk today! Which I'm trying not to be very excited about. My fertile window in Ovia has suddenly jumped forward! I'm glad we were DTD every other day anyway otherwise we'd have missed it.

I'm so sorry nicola do you think some counselling for you and dh as well as your parents might help?

Those of you with apps to track your fertile window which do you find best please? There's no way i can manage my temp, I have two kiddos already and the thought of trying to take my temp first thing is never going to happen! Much more likely I'll be able to keep an eye on body signs and peeing on opk sticks.