TTC after miscarriage- March 2007

[duchesse]

Sorry, guys, can't leave a redirect at the old one- it's not accepting new messages. I hope nobody's already set a new one up...

Headaches - deffo hormonal, it's quite common apparently!
Feeling a little better today.
Hope everyone is okay, glad to hear from Uki that she;s doing well
I've already stepped back from Mumsnet in general, that whole nastiness that went on in the AIBU thread really soured me, felt very sad that some people are unable to take people at face value and have to look for ulterior motives, and just seem to be generally quite bitchy!
Still I have you guys here to help restore my faith in human nature

still feel terrible (head ahces, loss of apetite, tired) worried have infection as had sex too soon after erpc? did everyone else wait until after period?

Poor you Popsy sounds like you have probably been doing too much. It?s hard not to because you want to keep busy and motivated and positive and it?s quite frankly, exhausting! That trip to study cheetah sounds amazing, your life sounds so much more colourful than mine.

I am off to Belfast tomorrow night with business and call me spoilt but I?m seriously miffed, there isn?t even a pool in the hotel to have a swim in! I won?t see any of the City as I don?t get there until 9pm and have meetings all day the next day, shame really as never been before. I always feel better when I?m at home too

I am a terrible baker I love to cook and apparently I am good at that but I just cannot bake tried to make some flapjacks for DH last night but they were hard and crunchy! DH keeps saying he wishes I was a stay at home wife and could nest for him, I?d love it but there?s just no way financially, nice dream though

There have been quite a few BFPs this week, maybe 4 or 5, I hope that means that there?ll be a flood of them to keep is all positive. The last month seems to have been a very bad one for conception.

I get a lot of headaches, migraines mostly, touch wood, haven?t had one for a while. Had one almost permanently when pg but then again so did my sis through both successful pregnancies.

Catbabymummy ? glad you are feeing a little better I missed all the nastiness, what was it about? What?s AIBU? Just being nosey don?t answer me if you?d rather not.

Popsy ? we only waited until bleeding had stopped but if you don?t feel good and think it might be an infection, please see someone asap.

MrsMc - know how you feel about the whole SAHM issue, wish i could do the same when I become a mummy, but again, for financial reasons, have to go back to work, though will be reducing my hours, all that means is I'll be doign my contracted hours instead of the 10+ per day that I'm doing at the moment!
I too also had bad migraines during pregnancy, which was a bit of a shock, because although I have suffered from them since i was 14, the last couple of years they had pretty much died away. But since the m/c I've had several, including one last night.
AIBU - Am I Being Unreasonable, go ahead and have look for the one that I started (search for bath bombs). But rather not go into it here.
I too can cook but can't bake, would love to learn how. I was given a bread maker but it didn't have any instructions so was pretty useless. Would love to buy one so could have lovely fresh bread in the mornings, yum!

Popsy - i didn't wait til first period, but didn't have an erpc. Maybe you should see your GP and get checked out? Though I have been suffering similar symptons lately, but it was put down to work related stress. Having the m/c is a very stressful event and if you are putting pressure on yourself to conceive or just incredibly busy as well, then you might just be running yourself down. Take it easy and hope you feel better soon.

Hi Catababymummy, thanks for the advice - that makes sense! I am going to go to the doctor today to get some antibiotics for my cystitis and then hopefully I'll be able to see what is due to that and what is stress related. I know I have been really stressed and Monday back at work seemed to tip me over the edge.
On the work subject it is pretty tough isn't it. I suppose in the old days people could afford to have a stay at home mum so it was a choice but these days you have to be earning big bucks for that to be possible. When I was PG and started thinking about taking time off and whether I wanted to go back Ft or PT it was really strange - I felt nervous about what my boss and colleagues would think about me - in the space of a few months I'd gone from the hardest working career girl in the place to someone that might only come in 3 days a week...I suppose at least I have some time to really think about what I want to do next time I get PG.

god catbabymummy, what a horrible thread . I do think that part of the MN culture now is when one poster writes a critical post, then many more will gleefully join in, defending their behaviour by pointing out that it was YOU who asked "am i being unreasonable?" so they are only answering your question... But would they behave like this in RL if you were all having coffee and you'd vented your frustration like you did and asked for some advice? Of course not.

A year or so ago i started a thread about a business man who'd parked in the only P&T space left outside Sainsbury's in order to eat his sandwich - (never again btw) - and took a bit of a battering for that, although nothing like you experienced. I can only advise you, as you've already sadly learnt, to think very very carefully before starting a thread which could be leapt upon like yours was.

how horrid - god I will also be thinking VERY carefully about what I say on here. Actually my first posting on MN was to ask which hosptial was best in my area. Some women started arguing about it so I didn't go back to the thread (we come here to get rid of stress not add to it!)

Hello ladies lovely sunny day here today, bodes well for flying (very small plane and I don?t like turbulence!)

Hello CatbabyMummy ? no Easter name for you? ChickbabyMummy? Re the migraines, I knew about my sis in pregnancy and tried to prepare myself when we were TTC for not being able to take the usual painkillers (Nurofen liquid capsules are my saviours ? everything else makes me sick) I struggled through a few real nasties when pg I have to say though the worst one was the day before the MC started, I had double vision and really could not focus, I now know that that is a warning sign for a MC Hope you are ok after last night?s, I always feel a bit lethargic and almost hung over the next day. I too like the idea of a bread maker, my domestic goddess sister makes bread every day!

Had a look at that thread, it looks like a lot of other people?s emotions got mixed in and changed the character of what you were actually saying, I do sympathise. Don?t be scared to post anywhere on MN because of it though, you have as much right as anyone.

Knowing a bit more about your situation, it seems like you have even more on your plate than we originally realised on here, I wish I could suggest a solution to make your life less stressful, I really do.

Hi Popsy, I hope you are feeling a lot better today hon let us know how you get on at the Drs. I am quite like you in outlook; the pg changed all my views on my career. I now know what is most important to me; I guess that makes the loss even harder doesn?t it. I have stopped caring what people think to be honest, I?m much happier now that truly don?t care!

Peanut butter ? hello how are you?

Hi ladies, still in bed, think have a migraine (so long since I last had one thought was just a bad head ahche). Feel sick and hate bright lights and woozy and can't move my head or it kills. Started feeling better as had a chat with 2 women from work one who had recurrent MC s (got loads of help from her EPU and doc) - she had a baby after 2 years of trying when they gave her hormone injections.The other had an MC at 5 months (puts my experience to shame) and went on to have a healthy baby immediately. She also has lots of friends who MC and all have gone on to have healthy babies...there is hope for us all yippeee. Is amazing how nearly everyone I have told has come back with their own MC story! Hope you are all well and positive xxxx

hello all

sorry have been really busy this week so havnt had chance to post properly

popsy sorry about the migraine -mc is sadly extremely common but its weird how you dont actually hear about them until you have had one yourself and people share their experience with you. i completely understand though why people dont shout it from the roof tops. i couldnt even say the word without bursting into tears for the first month.

well i have booked my appointment with the doctors took me a while to pluck up the courage and dp has agreed if "neccessary" he will attend if they want to do further investogations - which was somthing he was dead against when we had discussed things previously.

other than that i am spending my days working and watching my colleague run to the bathroom every 5 mins (she is pg) and explain to me that its mind over matter when it comes to pregnancy - if only it was that simple

Hi pg4easter you must be a very charitable person...i was just thinking your colleague might change her mind when it comes to pushing a watermelon out of her front bottom .
p.s. great news that you are going back to doctor. I just spoke to mine (the old one who runs the practice) and he was fab - have antibiocs and migralieve and feel so much more positive!

MrsMcEasterBunny I am really interested to read what you said about there being a link between miscarriage and migraines. I had an awful migraine the day that we think our baby died. (I should explain that I keep a daily diary and when I read back I was surprised to see that suddenly from that day I wasnt complaining about PG symptoms.) Do you mind me asking where you heard about the link?

Catbabymummy what a rotten response on your thread. I must admitt I was surprised at how heated some discussions can get!

Gillydaffodil great Masters subject. I would have loved to done that. Mine was in Social History which was great but it doesnt really lead to a career...

Wishing everyone a Happy Easter and a fertile Spring!!

hey everyone,
i've been offline a few days as dd and i went to my parents for a few days. I am glad to be back as they were starting to drive me mad, but I suddenly feel very very down being back home. and as it is holy week dh is nowhere to be seen and if he is seen he's snappy and busy
I've been snapping at dd and and and i just want to curl up and feel better

i'll write a less me orientated post later

Popsy ? I hope you feel much, much better soon I know what you mean about there being so many MC stories out there. On one hand it makes me hopeful that I will have kids one day and on the other it makes me angry that it happens in this day and age! PMSL at your terminology re your colleague!

Eggs4easter ? I know what you mean, in some ways I wish we hadn?t told anyone that it had happened but I guess that would have been unrealistic Glad to hear that you?ve made the GPs appointment.

Hello Winkygirl I kept a diary too and now I read back with some knowledge, I see the signs were there for me too . I have read two books about MC one was Lesley Regan?s and the other was by two American authors and it is called Trying Again after a MC, I can?t remember the authors off the top of my head but it is a really good book with lots more info to stop anxiety the next time round, I would recommend it.

Hi everyone, I am writing to you slathered in clarins souffle de teint foundation and eclat minute lip gloss - is amazing what joy new cosmetics can bring! Have decided the spending stops after easter .
winky girl i read up about migraines and they are very much related to hormonal changes in women so not suprising that we get them when MC. Seems as if I got my migraine now because my sneaky body has been chugging out those PG hormones like no bodies business - inspite of the missed-MC. May also be why I had a massive crash on Monday with feeling desperately sad and depressed. That means boobs next to go..boo hiss (keep hoping that they might stay just to pay me back for being so brave

MrsMcSunshine I know what you mean - is amazing that they have not tried to look into it more - I am going to start a diary for the next one so I have something to look back on. However, as my hormones were still so up maybe nothing would have changed? I still felt sick all the time bahhh. Actually I felt sick today and thought was having phantom PG but dr assured me is migraine - promptly went and threw up in bathroom after that nice!

littlebitlessshy Nice to see you back - I want to give you a BIG HUG! I hate that this thing - it is such a rollar coaster.You know some days I wake up and think "I'M BETTER!" and that i won't need MN anymore and that I am MRS POSITVEonwards and upwards and all that - DH gets really excited that I am "back to normal again" and then I have another massive crash. Maybe the only certainty for any of us at the mo is that we will go uop and down so be sure to appreciate the ups and then know that the downs won't last forever?

Hi there i have been pointed in the right direction by Mumpbump Still new to mumsnet so am not sure if i am even in the right place......... We lost our daughter Hannah on Xmas Day 2006 at 39wks and are now beginning to think about TTC again. I feel that the only way i can even begin to deal with any of this is to fill my empty arms. Whilst i will always miss Hannah i do know that we would like another baby so here i am. I am Lisa, i am married to Paul and we have Georgia, Callan and angel Hannah. x

Hi calgeo, welcome to our thread. I miscarried 2 weeks ago and have been on the thread ever since. You will find lots of support here from people with lots of different experiences. I hope you get comfort from talking to us. xxx

p.s. mrsmclibrary - am going to buy that book - need something to read to make me feel positive!
p.p.s. am slightly worried that am getting no work done as am on here all the time - think am MN obsessed - DH doesn't look quite so pleased when I tell him have been on MN all day...he thinks am obsessed too ha ha

Hello all, still trying to be positive! Got an ache really low down in tum today, and a tender bit on one side - any chance at all that could be a sign of ovulation??? or am I clutching at straws and have actually just pulled a muscle or something?
I love baking and will have to try and find this Green and Black's cookery book you all keep talking about - my mouth is watering just thinking about it! I am not a bad baker (preens), DH loves my cakes! I am a lucky enough to be a SAHM (although I work 2 evenings a week). I don't think it is always the case that you need to be earning lots to be a SAHM, we are certainly not rich! I could not have afforded to go back to work when I had DS1 as my job wouldn't have done much more than cover childminder/nursery fees and I had no family who could look after him while I worked.
Catbabymummy - I read your AIBU thread, it seems to me (as a few threads do) that it all goes along nicely until one person disagrees and then loads more do - almost like they were circling the thread waiting for someone to say something not so nice - and then they all join in. Please don't take it personally, it sounds like most of them misread your OP anyway! Personally I think your concern and obvious affection for your DSS is wonderful and he is lucky to have you as a step-mum.
Popsy - I personally didn't wait for my next AF after my ERPC, I was just told to wait until bleeding stopped. Glad Doc was lovely, Antibiotics should clear up any infection (if you had one) as well as the Cystitis.
MrsMcEasterBunny - hope you have a good trip tomorrow! Is a shame you won't get a chance to do much while you are there - just think of the brownie points though!
Alittlebitshy - for you lovely. It may be ups and downs for you for a while but it will get better.
Calego - for you too, how sad for you
hi to Winkygirl and Eggs4Easter and anyone I have missed.
Right - off to work...

ooh how exciting to hear that you started straight away - I will too (if I can persuade DH - he is worried about my body falling appart).

Calego - hi, and so much love and sympathy to you. I can't even imagine how a m/c at 39 weeks can make you feel. Good luck ttc again!!!! And I loooove the name Hannah, our niece is called that and i just love it!!!

popsy your make up sounds niiiice. i have to admit i have never been good with makeup. I didn;t wear it as a teen cos i was a rare breed.. i wasn't allowed so i didn't!!!! I wore tiny bits for balls at uni but the first time i wore it properly was on my wedding day. Then 2 years ago my mum took me shopping for an outfit for an old freinds wedding, and we included makeup in the day, and i got clarins-ed up and i even just about understand what to do with which bits. then a few weeks later we were staying with friends and the girl convinced me to try some prescriptives stuff, which was lovely. so i bought it. so i have 2 sets of nice, basic makeup (basic as in the essentials, not basic as in cost ) and hardly ever wear it. weddings and big dos really. I always feel so shabby anyhow, so the knowledge i don't do makeup on a regular basis makes me feel worse, but i am not in the habit of it and i have no clue how i'd even fit it into my getting ready!!!!!

beckle ooooh wonder if it is ovulation!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm kind of looking forward to ov/pmt spotting this cycle (if indeed it is a cycle and af comes at the end of it) without the rush to bd and the angst of am i aren't i pg, that goes with it!!!!

catbabymummy (love your name btw) - i read your AIBU thread at the time and i remember thinking that it had degenerated into nonsense from a perfectly reasonable query!!!

gillydaff i've prob missed it, but you mention "back home" in ref to palm sunday... where is home/where are you???

mrsmcnicelady are you back from belfast yet? I've prob missed this too, but has your af deigned to show it's face yet????

right, need to think about dd's bath.
in a sec, lol....

I am glad to be home but have been more tearful than i was while i was at my parents.

I have a good friend who lives 350 miles away who is ttc and her af is late. I am trying hard to be positive and pleased, and encouraging (they'te ttc number 1 and between then have a lot of health issues not least her with a very very bad back which prevents her from working, so pregnancy and parenting weill be a challenge for them) but I feel so jealous that there's a chance she is preg. bad of me

right... really had better go.

Thanks for all your support girls, I think that some people don't have anything better to do with their time then spread such nastiness, I stopped posting and reading it in the end because it was very clear that most of the posters were not readin my posts properly and jumping to conclusions.
But enough of that! As you have seen, I have changed my name to something more Easter like MrsMc suggested!
Calgeo - I'm so sorry for your loss, I hope that we can be supportive of you. You'll never replace your angel Hannah, but the clever thing about Mummies' hearts is that there is room to love an infinite number of babies...

oh f&k oh f&k my friend is pregnant.the one who started trying this last cycle, who has back probs and all sorts of other health probs as does her dp.

i can't stop crying.

I am so selfish that i can't even feel pleased for her yet.

i feel so irrational, i feel like i could do something stupid

Poor you
Don't put yourself under pressure to congratulate her just yet, give yourself time, we've all been there...