Thread 28, TTC #1 | We may be hormonal giraffes but we don't eat no low fat humous

[Londonjam]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

Key:
HS - have/had sex
GOS - good old shag
ELH - enthusiastic lavatory happenings
LSFX - legs spread, fingers crossed

Good luck Quiet!

Who else is up soon? I'm sure we're due some happiness on here soon.

Definitely Quiet! Whether we want to or not it's for the greater good The greater good... (sorry, I love hot fuzz!)

Oh FX for you, hopefully it will be a nice long 9 month cycle...

The gynae swabbed me for chlamydia at my appointment and I am irrationally nervous about the result. He said he really didn't think I had it and it was just a 'while you're here' thing, and I have been tested before and didn't have it, but it's a bit like when you walk past a policeman and feel guilty, even though you're pretty sure you're innocent!

Haha Flash, I know exactly what you mean about chlamydia. I had two tests about a month apart (the FC insist on them before you have any treatment) and even though I knew the first one was negative, I was still terrified about the result of the second one even though I knew it was impossible to be positive!

Here's the list;

BFPs due
Kerryleanne - 1 May
Alexia - 5 May
Smittenpears - 9 May
Quiettime - 9 May
Missy - 14 may
Winging - 15 May
Binky - 16 May
Gaelach - 18 May
Flash - 19 May
InspectorPenguin - 20 May
Kathrino - 22 May
Pyjamas - 22 May
Londonjam - 27 May
Hep - 1 June
Skipper
Lisa
Piehunter
Tommygirl
Flora
Pug
Hopefulbunny

Grads
Kav
Mrsg
Wanting
Music
ScottishLady7
Starmist
FXSkip
Dixiechick
NS
Presh
Gimble
Peachytech
Starfish
Colourmylife
Poppet
Peaches
Tonks
Kaydee
Miranda
Mac
Mrsbluebell
Glitter
Carley

I've added newbies to the bottom, if you'd like your date adding or changing please let me know

Hope you're having a lovely time in Venice Kerry 💙 Thanks for sharing that uplifting story.

Haha Flash 😂 that gave me a good old laugh so thanks for that! Hope you get another GOS in later (and that your test is obviously negative lol).

I'm up next by the look of it. I tested this morning (10dpo) with a clinical guard and it was a BFN. If my temperature drops from the 60s to the 50s tomorrow I'll know I'm out as it tends to drop steadily until AF arrives.

I've been ignoring my mum for the last 3-4 days. She called me today and I teared up immediately; I couldn't speak. I'm just so fed up of talking about / trying to conceive.

You're welcome Alexia!

Sorry you're feeling overwhelmed. Do you normally find it helpful to talk to your mum or not?

FX for your temps, I'm hoping to confirm OV and then not bother temping re your info on the effect of progesterone. I've decided to take it and keep taking it until BFN or BFP.

The length of the grads list always gives me hope Jam. Although I can't believe I've been on this thread over a year! I thought we'd all be popping in to give hope to the newbies in the 2WW, while we cooed over our bumps/babies.

Thanks Flash. Yes it helps to talk to her most of the time, she's a good listener. She knew I was in the tww because I sent her my chart after O was confirmed. It's just hard to actually say out loud "I'm pretty sure I'm out, again" so I'd been putting off calling her myself. I'd rather isolate myself until I feel better emotionally. It's just shit. I feel extra down this cycle because I tried really, really hard. There's nothing in life you could want this much or put as much energy into but at the end of the day you still get nothing.

Most of the Grad's conceived within a year, and many within 2-6 months. Which is amazing! When I look at the 'BFPs due' list unfortunately I see a lot of heartache and long, long struggles. I fear I'll never get back on the Grad's. It's such a scary place to be just waiting endlessly for... What?

Sorry, forgot to say that's a good idea re temping. You could always do a few later on in your cycle say, 13dpo just to see if AF might be coming.

Here's what I do now: I temp properly from CD10 to 3dpo and then I turn my alarm off. If I've had solid sleep and I wake up naturally between 5am and 7am I'll temp and put it in my chart.

This cycle I missed 4dpo & 9dpo temps but the rest I'm pretty confident about. I find this more relaxing. After having lots of triphasic charts I don't put much thought into my chart after O. I just use it to confirm O and use it as an AF warning.

The internet keeps eating my posts so I'll keep it short and sweet: spotting has started; I think I'm out. 11dpo. Pass the

Sorry, Alexia. Hugs.

Sorry alexia its eating me up at the moment too. Doesn't seem to matter how much headspace or yoga I do. It's a horrible long lonely road to be on and utterly consuming. You did give it a really good try this month - there's nothing more you could have done. I hope that has given your DH a boost and FW will be easier (if you are out).

Ugh it's so hard to find the positives. I was looking through my instagram history the other day and there was a picture of my DH holding a baby from a few summers ago. I stared at it for ages - the longing to see him holding our own baby was overwhelming. I can't quite believe that we can't make this happen.

Sorry too smitten :(

Sorry you're feeling so crappy as well Jam. It is a horrible, lonely road. It's all so unfair. I swear I'm depressed but I don't know what that feels like. I couldn't face work today so went back to bed this afternoon and have just watched trashy TV, sobbed and talked to a close ttc friend.

It would kill me to see my dh holding a baby too It's his birthday on Sunday and I would have loved to give him the best gift ever but I bet I'll be miserable and bleeding. Fun.

Sorry Smitten Really hope it's the mythical implant bleeding.

Sorry to bring the thread down guys. I'm extra emotional today because it's 9 years since I lost my Grandma suddenly. Emotions everywhere!

Oh no smitten. And sorry you're down alexia and jam.

My room mate at work (we have offices in pairs) just told me she's ttc and it filled me with irrational rage and jealousy - terrified she will have a baby before me and I'll have to see her every hour of every day. I know that's so mean spirited - I need to snap out of this.

Does anyone have any good news to report??!

Sorry Smitten - really hope its not AF.

So sorry to hear that you ladies are feeling down Jam and Alexia - this really is such a hard road and it never gets any easier. Remember that you're not alone though, there are the rest of us on this thread that feel exactly as you do and understand your rants and upset. I'm on the way up after AF totally knocking me for six at the end of last week and just know that all I can do is keep going and hoping.

Also just wanted to say that's really good advice re. temping Alexia - I really allow my post ovulation temps to alter my mood so going to stop at 3/4 DPO going forward - hopefully ignorance will be bliss.

for you both

Jam/Alexia - totally get where you guys are at, I had a period of absolute misery at the end of last year where I felt inadequate, jealous, angry and depressed. I'm finding it all a bit non descript right now...I still have a 5-10 min cry when AF shows up every month but unless I'm baby bombed, I'm generally okay. Acceptance or just fed up...can't quite be sure right now. It helps I have a wedding and honeymoon to focus on I guess and I feel like the NHS is doing everything it can for me right now, so maybe I'm just going with the flow for now. My OH is severely broody too Jam, when we go whether it's to town for a coffee or a friend's wedding, he's constantly watching children and saying how cute they are. That possibly hurts more than any baby bomb, I want to give him that...I do, but nature says no.

Sorry Smitten xx and also sorry about your BFN Alexia - fx just incase...

I remember first joining MN and seeing the 10+ thread thinking those poor ladies, never assuming it would be me and that cycle 10 seems a distant memory. I'm coming up to all sorts of anniversaries, a year ago in June we had a wedding and rather than get a taxi I arranged to drive us as 'I'll probably be pregnant by then" . Nearly a year on and the bride at said wedding already has a 2 month old .....

I have a friend who I confide in which has really helped. She had an mc which is when we both opened up to each other about ttc although she's then gone on to conceive easily and is 17 weeks now so it does get harder each time we talk

Thanks skipper ❤️ Yes you have a beautiful distraction right now. What date are you getting married? My DH is incredibly broody too, hurts I can't give him that happiness (I know it's a joint effort and all that).

Harriet ah totally understandable! It's like panic sets in isn't it. I wanted to give you some hope... I recently saw a woman on FF who has had 3 miscarriages since September 2015, all between 10-13 weeks. Each time she conceived again within 1-2 cycles. After her 3rd loss she said she took 3-4 months off to recover emotionally. Her second month trying again she is now 17 weeks pregnant with identical twin girls!!! She said all she did differently was take supplements to focus on egg quality but believes it was luck more than anything. I truly believe you will get your THB very soon, even though it's awful you've had so many highs and crushing lows. The positive is you can fall pregnant and any underlying issue will fx be identified and treated. Don't lose hope ❤️ I believe it's just a matter of time.

I wish I could switch my brain off from remembering sht like that Winging*. It just hurts even more doesn't it

Thanks Flora Glad the advice helped. I stopped taking my charts seriously in the LP when a beautiful chart meant nothing but more pain in the end. Also seeing many BFP charts like this one (see pic) proved to me that literally anything is possible

Hi lovely ladies. I'm so sorry everyone seems to be struggling at the moment. You all deserve those BPFs so much.

Just wanted to say I went to see my new niece at the weekend who was the result of nearly 4 years trying, 3 miscarriages and a 4th IVF cycle in Czech Republic. My brother and sister in law never gave up hope that they would have their miracle baby and now they have and she's gorgeous.

And a friend of mine whose first child is an IVF baby has recently announced she is pregnant naturally (and completely unexpectedly) with her second.

I hope these stories show that you will all have your take home babies. It's just unfair that the road to them is so much harder for some.

Lovely stories Mac 💓 It is unfair. I have just read an AMAZING book with a quote in it which reminded me of our situations (and many others).

Sometimes you can do everything right and things will still go wrong. The key is to never stop doing right.

The book was the hate u give which is getting quite a lot of hype at the moment - honestly justified - SO good!

I am having a lovely time in Venice, thanks ladies. Just so nice. Thinking of you and sending big hugs your way Alexia! I've been feeling the same way the past couple of days, just OUT but waiting for AF to show. Bah. Sorry to hear that it's the anniversary of losing your grandma too - we lost my grandad in incredibly sudden circumstances and it is just so very awful. xxx

It is always nice to be reminded of the miracles Macs.

So I have just been talking to my friend, who I love, about her accidental pregnancy to her boyfriend of 10 weeks, which she announced the day before the anniversary of my ectopic, and which is due the same month as my baby would have been. I can't seem to stop asking questions about the pregnancy etc. It's like I am living it vicariously through her. What a masochist I am!

Sorry you guys are feeling down alexia and jam. And anyone else who is.

Glad to hear you're having a great time kerry!

Maybe it's just me but the miracle stories don't fill me with much joy. Of course I'm happy for the people involved, but you're talking about people who've hit 4 year milestones. Ill be hitting 2 years in August and I've already had enough, I can't imagine doing another 2 years on top of that. And I hate that I might have to go through IVF, and I certainly wouldn't consider paying for my own once I use up the NHS funded rounds...I simply can't afford it, abroad or not. It's taken us about 7 years to save up for our wedding and we only have 30 guests.

I don't know where I'm going with this, I just seem to be moaning on a tangent now. I guess what I'm saying is, why can't be easy for people who deserve it and want it? People who have so much love to give and are denied time and time again. It really isn't fair.

I agree skipper that the process seems daunting, and impossible in some cases such as ivf funding etc. I guess I try and look at it like a lifelong 2WW, unless you know you physically can't conceive, you're not out til you're out. It doesn't help much though I agree, and the longer you try, the further it seems. Moan as much as you like, it's fucking unfair.

Sorry skipper (and anyone else). I wanted to share their story because I thought it would give a bit of hope but totally get what you mean and definitely misjudged it.