Thread 28, TTC #1 | We may be hormonal giraffes but we don't eat no low fat humous

[Londonjam]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

Key:
HS - have/had sex
GOS - good old shag
ELH - enthusiastic lavatory happenings
LSFX - legs spread, fingers crossed

Every now and then I have to catch myself asking DH about how much he drinks - especially after we got the low morphology diagnosis. It's a fine line. For me it was coming from a lack of control over the whole situation - not able to get pregnant, not able to influence anything to make myself get pregnant. If you think about it there aren't that many things in life you want as much as this and can't get. DH drinking was an area I could influence and made me feel I was doing something to improve his morphology and therefore get pregnant.

Your DH needs to get his head around the science of it. No doctor will tell you to give up drinking. Drinking moderately doesn't make any difference. Stress of going teetotal and falling out may have more influence on fertility than a few drinks.

I had to get my head around this with DH, and it led to a few arguments between us. When he went out drinking it made me feel he didn't really care about getting pregnant.

It could be some of these things going on for your DH. I'm not defending him at all as what he's doing is wrong. I hope you can help him challenge some of the assumptions he's making such as - drinking means you won't get pregnant, and drinking means you don't care about getting pregnant .

Hope you manage to sort things out pyjamas this is the last thing you need on day one xx

That's exactly his thinking jam - that's exactly it. He said he can't feel sorry for me being sad about not getting pregnant if I then go out and have a few drinks because in his mind it just means I don't really care or I'm not committed. Nothing could be further from the truth. But I can say that until I'm blue in the face and it doesn't make a blind bit of difference. It's very hard. Can't wait for his dad to stay for the whole damn bank holiday weekend - I won't even have my study to retreat to because that's where the spare bed is 😤

Yes stand your ground and enjoy yourself on Friday pyjamas! It's much worse for a man to drink than a woman when ttc so I can see why he doesn't want to but you shouldn't be made to feel like this over a few drinks when af arrives! Arguing constantly is much more damaging to your wellbeing, and relationship. Hope you sort things soon

Just came across this ironically. I should have said this PJs 🤣

Oh alexia that just made me laugh - thanks for that!!

Just went downstairs to speak to him because i don't want to go to bed upset - he hugged me and told me he loved me but doesn't want to talk about Friday night. Whatever, I'm going out anyway and fully intend to have fun, ignore whatever face he has on when I get in and go about my business as if nothing has happened. Must remember no one can make me feel anything, how I feel is all down to how I react to it.

I'm sure you love your DH Pyjamas but at this point in time - FUCK HIM. Yes, I'm sure this is all terribly stressful for him but ultimately about 90% of all this bullshit is on the woman. He's the juice, you're the 9-month incubator in waiting who will eventually have your body twisted and squeezed giving birth to his child. And in the meantime, you've got to deal with AF (again) which can at best, can be described like Moses parting the fucking Red Sea.

Go out. Have you drink. Haters gonna hate.

AMEN Skipper 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Hahaha you're right skipper! I do understand that this is all horrible for him as well, but for just these few days, quite frankly, fuck it, fuck him and fuck everything. I am just fine throughout the whole month - I don't symptom spot, I don't pressure him at all, I'm my usual chirpy self and it's just these few days where I'm angry, sad and irrational. So he can suck it. I'm just going to carry on as normal and he can just get over it. Thanks so much everyone, you always pick me up when this happens! I'm not allowing this to drag on for days - not worth it. Bring on the fun times this weekend 😉

I'm still rooting for a few BFPs from this lovely group soon!

Oh pyjamas 💐 it's shit, but as the others have said, counselling seems like a good idea as your DH needs to be your rock when going through this crap. And you bloody well enjoy yourself this weekend- you deserve to let your hair down (Skipper makes some excellent points!)

Harriet- please take care of yourself , I'm really worried that you're back at work 😞 You put yourself number one right now- it doesn't matter how busy they are, they'll have to cope- if you need more time off please please take it. Whilst you are obviously an incredibly strong lady, you have been through an awful trauma and need to let yourself heal x

Sorry haven't replied to everyone but need to dash off for a GOS! 😂😂

skipper you are so funny - you're so right! I feel for you pyjamas but think you've got the right attitude - really glad you're sticking to your guns! Hope you have a great evening.

binky that's so nice of you. I know they should cope but I also know they won't - they will just save it up for me when I get back so the longer I'm off the worse it is. I'm still in the office now trying to get through the backlog of the last 2 days. This obvs totally sucks but being busy (within reason and normal office hours!) is quite good for me as I'm actually feeling fine physically and want the mental distraction so not to feel too sad. Even though it is sad I know! At least not long now until another lovely bank holiday.

Harriet - I get what you mean, being busy sometimes is the answer. I hope the weekend has been set aside for some much needed "you" time though.

harriet I understand wanting to keep busy but make sure you look after yourself as well.

pyjamas I'm so sorry that your DH is being such an arse. Definitely go and enjoy yourself on Friday. He is there to support you, not control you!

Japan was amazing. I'd pretty much echo everything inspector said! Safe, clean, efficient, polite and a massive culture shock! skipper you'll love it! We spent 5 days in Tokyo, its massive and crazy! There are some nice day trips you can do as well. We went to Nikko and Hakone.

I'm doing ok thanks all for asking, and as far as I know, so is the little bean. Started feeling fairly rough quite early on in the trip so struggled with the food a lot! I'm usually one to try anything first but just couldn't do it! Back to work today and struggling with a mix of jet lag and regular exhaustion!

I know what you mean about keeping busy helping Harriet - I often veer from needing to hide under a duvet with a box set to total distraction, you just have to do whatever feels right at the time.

Glad to hear you're doing well macs!

DH basically acting like all is normal (probably to avoid me kicking off which is wise) but I know Friday is still just something he doesn't agree with and there's nothing I can say to change his mind. I'm still going and he can lump it. I've also decided to go away for a few days on my own when next AF is due - I just can't be around him and can't cope with the stress of AF and fighting with him at the same time. Ideally I'd love to do a mindfulness retreat which did me the world of good a couple of years ago, but the one I did (The Barn retreat) is fully booked. If anyone has any recommendations, let me know!

Amen skipper!!

Pyjamas planning a few days to yourself is a great idea. I'm sad that your DH has pushed you to this but you gotta do what you gotta do.

AF will be coming to get me bank holiday Monday and my DH will be away .. currently considering how to distract myself. Thinking an audio tour of a gallery or exhibition might suffice.

Glad to hear it's all going well macs 👍🏼

Pug / Penguin are you guys testing? Fingers crossed for you both

BFPs due
Pug
InspectorPenguin
Londonjam - 30 April
Kerryleanne - 1 May
Skipper - 2 May
Alexia - 5 May
Smittenpears - 9 May
Quiettime
Missy - 14 may
Winging - 15 May
Binky - 16 May
Flash
Gaelach - 18 May
Kathrino - 22 May
Pyjamas
Hopefulbunny

Grads
Kav
Mrsg
Wanting
Music
ScottishLady7
Starmist
FXSkip
Dixiechick
NS
Presh
Gimble
Peachytech
Starfish
Colourmylife
Poppet
Peaches
Tonks
Kaydee
Miranda
Mac
Mrsbluebell
Glitter
Carley

that long list of graduates makes me feel better. We''ll be needing the 3rd grads list soon!

jam can you put me down for the 1st June?

I'm not until the back end of May now Jam, around 20th. Long way to go!

Hey ladies, sorry for being absent, I've got a cold so I'm only dragging myself to work and back home again then sleeping at the moment!

So sorry to hear your DH is being a mardy dick again PJs - is he this controlling generally or do you think it's a reaction to the stress of TTC?

I visited my GP yesterday to ask a few questions about tests. I was worried about my thyroid function (I've been tested already last year which I didn't realise so that's clear) and possible insulin resistance - I've been scheduled in for a blood glucose test to check the latter though she said she would fall over if I have diabetes or pre-diabetes.

I asked about Clomid but she said that it would have to be prescribed by my consultant, who I luckily already have an appointment with in early June.

So looks like there's nothing much else I can do this cycle or next other than try the old fashioned way.

Oh in other news I started reading 'it starts with the egg' - bloody hell! Did anyone else feel overwhelmed by it? There's BPA on RECEIPTS?! WTF?

Jam - im bank holiday Monday too! We can sob together...

kerry I think this is why I'm still not reading that book! I kind of know I need to drink less alcohol and caffeine and I struggle with that...

skipper high five to our Bank Holiday date with Aunt Flo. Come and look around a London museum with me!!

I'm seriously now considering buying Clomid online and paying for private scans. Can't really believe I'm saying this, but what your consultant said swung it. Also the clinics are all coming back saying initial consultation is £200+ and all I want them to do is write me a prescription.

I am also going to book my HSG on day one though and I'm not sure I want to do both at the same time. WWYD? Get the HSG done next cycle, and then get ready to start clomid the one after?

takes matters into own hands

Kerry that's pretty much why I haven't bothered with it. I think it would just make my OCD tendencies worse and I'm doing all I can with supps and diet.

pyjamas a retreat sounds lovely, no recommendations here unfortunately. It's silly it's come to this though.

Jam I'd probably have the HSG and then do Clomid the next cycle. I know it will sound ridiculous to some to buy online but this is a legal, registered pharmacy. I felt comfortable purchasing from there; I was happy with the consultation with the Dr and private prescription. It's not counterfeit, dodgy stuff you can be assured. I think you'll be just fine, and a private scan will give you reassurance.

Sometimes you have to take things into your own hands and take calculated risks. My good friend on FF would not be 20 weeks pregnant with her baby girl if she hadn't ordered Femara online from New Zealand. This is no bullshit. They had morph issues, severe pcos and no money to go private. NHS refused to help because they already had a 5 year old son (conceived by 'accident').

kerry,alexia ditto

I agree with Alexia but maybe wait a few cycles after the HSG to see if it works? Could save you a bit of money. Xx

Harriet - I'm watching you 😶 Hope you had an earlier finish today and are doing ok. Take care of yourself please x

Glad you're sticking to your plans pyjamas- whilst we all have different ways of dealing with this TTC crap, your DH must know that stress is the absolute worst thing, and that he's not helping? The mindfulness retreat sounds really interesting- tell me more..

Thanks for the list reminder jam- fx for you, pug Kerry and skipper!

Kerry, whilst I guess frustrating there's nothing else to do for now, that's got to also be a positive thing? And I've avoided the book for that very reason- I think I'd live in fear of everything afterwards!

Hi macs 👋

I've had a delivery of fertilitea (no idea- was an impulse buy) and more preseed today- am totally ready for this FW now! 😂