Is it a line? Time for some wine? Yep, it's TTC after miscarriage thread number nine.

[BertieBotts]

Hello ladies

Hope you don't mind my little poem...

Fingers crossed for some sticky beans this time.

(Newbies welcome too!)

miami I'm C.D 24 today, Defo not an implantation dip as my boobs were big earlier in the week and now they have gone down! I can't get the hang of opks so was hoping bbt would give me a better picture but you're right there's so many factors that affect temp!

Is the general pattern low-high-medium god normal ovulation and low high high for pregnancy?

Congrats Miami that is amazing news! I have my fingers crossed for you.

Congratulations, miami - will be thinking of you and hope that everything goes smoothly and easily.

Thinking of you lots Miami, really good ideas on counselling soon, your therapist sounds like she's been brilliant, and acupuncture and maybe adding in reflexology if you think it'll help you relax.

Take it a day at a time, you're pregnant and healthy and you're in the system with the (albeit a bit shit) RMC so you have people looking out for you. When you're ready, let the EPU know and see about an early reassurance scan, they should definitely do you one as they'll understand your nerves about the whole thing. Are you meant to tell the RMC?

Funny it didn't show on the temping, but it sounds like there are loads of factors which can affect it.

I can't tell you how the news has made my day, I've been crossing everything for you and I know what a shoddy time you've had of it so I'm over the moon for you guys Maybe the rage was a sign! Last time I was pregnant I spent the full 48 hours before my bfp in a complete bloody turmoil of tears and rage, uncertainty and anxiety! Those hormones are an utter bitch. Can't say the anxiety faded much when I got the bfp but it was a different kind at least!

I'm doing alright thank you. Got a busy weekend going on, much hosting and cooking. Hitting the green fw window tomorrow, planning to dtd as much as possible around people being here a lot! Feeling generally quite zen which is something. Also very much (slightly desperately) hoping the reflexology will stop the insane hormonal stuff I've had going on in the tww. Life is better without massive painful boobs, epic belly bloat and excessive weeping - especially when it's pre-af not bfp! When I'm pregnant again bring on the symptoms, but when it's not that it's a kick in the nuts.

Mulder did you get any clarity on the pain from the docs?

Nice to see you smurf and turquoise, how are you doing?

Please can I join this thread as feel v much in need of this type of fab support - I had a mmc in October at 8 weeks and then 2 and a half weeks ago at our 12 week scan found out that we had suffered another - the baby had stopped developing at 8 weeks - 3 days after we'd seen a v reassuring scan with a strong heart beat! We were devastated - I had had pneumonia around that time and they think that could be a cause but of course they are not sure :-( we opted for the Erpc this time following a v traumatic mva in October - this seemed to go well and we were told we could go on a holiday the next day (we have a 7 year
Old ds and a 9 year
Old dad) and we did not want to let them down. Whilst on holiday I got horrendous pain and bleeding and a high temp and was rushed by ambulance into the local a and e with sepsis from
Retained products - I had to have the Erpc again so holiday was not the restorative test we all needed ! After 10 days on antibiotics I feel so much bettter, the bleeding has stopped and last night we got back on the trying to conceive wagon! I just do not know after all we have been through how I will even begin to cope with a new pregnancy should we be lucky enough for it to happen again! We have been v v lucky that we have had counselling and support from a local pregnancy loss charity which has been invaluable but how do you get through every day without being constantly anxious and worried that something can go wrong again? Sorry for the long post!

Oh gosh conker I'm so sorry to hear that, it sounds horrendous. I'm not really sure about the answer to the last question - just taking each day at a time and not putting yourself under any pressure to feel better.

anne good luck for your fertile window and happy dtd-ing it's good it's s long weekend, hopefully you can fit lots in!

The doctor said that pains are normal bit only really up to 3 months post mc (which I'm at now) so to come back in 8 weeks if no im no better.

Bloody hell conker, you've been through the mill and you're superwoman for keeping going, I feel for you so much

That's great to hear you're having such good support. It seems to vary a lot for people.

Can't believe you had that happen on holiday, just awful.

Do your DC know what's happened or just that you've been poorly?

I had an MVA in November, looking back it was a mistake and if I have to go through it again, please god I won't, but I'll go for being out cold.

You've come to a good place, everyone understands also having been there and people are kind, empathetic, funny, supporting. My DH is beyond incredible but even though we talk a lot and he's my rock it's invaluable having a community of other women to share stuff with. No question is stupid and nothing is tmi!

We're here for you.

As mulder says, there isn't really a way to do this without a fair amount of anxiety. But that's why having people to chat to is so useful. When you get pregnant again there's a thread for people pregnant after miscarriage if you haven't already found it. That's where we're all hoping to be before too long. But till then I'm hanging here.

Is the 7 year old yours and the 9 year old your partners? Wasn't sure from your message.

I've got two DSC and trying for one of my own. Oi, my baby, where the heck are you?

That's a relief they're not worried about it mulder. Hope you're feeling tip top soon. And thank you! Getting on it

Conker so sorry to see you here. Sounds like such a scary experience on holiday, definitely the last thing you would want. I hope you are recovering well.

Smurf thanks for the reassurance. It was such a shock to see such a strong positive still. Feel like I really want it to be over now. I really had no idea what actually happened in mc.

Thank you for the lovely welcome (@annelovesgilbert I love your name - I am a massive Anne of green gables fan!)

It was a truly horrific holiday - added to that at the end of it ds and ds had a silly fight and she cracked her head on the side of the table - queue another trip to a and e with blood everywhere!!!! It was
Not the break we were after!
They are both our children - we just took a long time to decide to have number 3 - and now we have made the choice to we are just desperate for it to happen - I am 38 so feel time is running out - although my obstetrician (who is also a friend) said I am by no means the oldest he has seen by a long long shot!
The children did know both times - they seem to have dealt with it v well and we have talked a lot with them - our son did announce to my mum 'don't worry grandma mummy and daddy will try for another baby - daddy still has lots of seed left!!!!!!!' Needless to say my mum was less than impressed!
My dh has been absolutely amazing but it is so good to find a community of women who really truly understand - and let's hope that we are all on the pregnancy after miscarriage thread together v v soon xx

Ps right now I am enjoying a lovely g and t !!!!

Miami I have everything crossed for you!!! You know just how to take care of yourself, it's a good plan

lookatthemoon I agree, the yoga is so helpful for me. I must say, I've been treating myself well this week too. I've been for a facial/head-neck shoulder massage treatment at the premier spa here (it's called Galgorm Resort--well worth a visit if you're coming to NI!) Oh. my. god. bliss. The whole thing is just so well done, everything is thought of and they're just lovely to you. It was a Christmas gift from my SIL and she and MIL also had a massage and they used the "thermal village" which sounded incredible! Anyway, I'm not the sort of person who visits spas, in fact I've never been to one before, but it was a lovely bit of pampering

Hope everyone has a great Easter weekend full of chocolate! (I'm working tomorrow but have Sun and Mon off in which to gorge myself!)

conker I'm so sorry for your losses. It all sounds awful. I haven't been pregnant again since my mc yet so I'm of no practical help on the anxiety front, I'm afraid. However, I find it helpful to focus on my intention for the day (which is part of my morning yoga--it's worth getting up 20 minutes earlier!). I tell myself that today, I'm going to be full of positivity, or calm or patient or whatever I feel I need help with that day, and I'm going to focus on other people's needs and happiness. That takes the focus off of me and my worries sufficiently to get through it all! (I would say having 2 DC probably does that for you forcibly anyway, though ) It sounds really cheesy and new-agey but to my surprise it does work for me; your mind is incredibly strong, and you may as well make it work for you.

The yoga sounds like a great idea! I am getting back into my running this week as I really find that that gives me the head space that I need to switch off and have some me space. I am really interested in trying reflexology as this helped me a lot when I had an early miscarriage between dd and ds.
The children really do a v good job of distracting me - since we have been home this week we have seen friends and been so swept up with their activities that has been a huge distraction. ..... and it has really made me focus on how lucky we are to have them and what wonderful little people they are!

Conker - so so sorry about your experience and losses. I also run as well as yoga and really found that exercising was a bit of a lifesaver for my mental health after mc. It makes me remember my body the way it felt before mc. If that makes sense ...

WLMcl - I am also going for a massage in a spa tomorrow!!

@lookatthemoon I stopped running during this pregnancy as I was so scared it would make something bad happen :-( and it happened any way :-(

So if I am lucky enough to become pregnant gain I am going to behave v differently and keep up my running as it is ao
So important for my mental health! This may sound silly but
I have even bought myself some new tikki boo leggings that I love to help me get back into it!

The spa sounds amazing!!!!! I do love a spa day so may well treat myself to one in next few weeks to cheer myself up !

Conker I had the opposite - I stayed running (i was really active when pregnant with ds) but then kind of blamed the mc on it - and a subsequent chem. My doc didn't think the running could have caused it though, he pretty much said 'if mc is going to happen it will but exercise might just make the blood come faster'. So if I get pregnant again I'm not sure what I will do. So now when I run I sort of appreciate being able to do it guilt free (would obvs prefer to be pregnant tho).

Definitely do a spa day! It can be so hard to relax when you are constantly thinking about babies/ttc/mc.

I totally get you - I did a long bike ride the day before I had some
Spotting in this pregnancy - it had been a hard bike ride and I'd really pushed myself and that is all I could think that it was my fault for pushing myself too hard :-( it is such a hard line to walk - on the one hand exercise keeps you sane and they say that if you did it before you can continue in pregnancy - but the moment something happens you can't help but question if it was as a result of the exercise!

There's a few "conception yoga" videos on YouTube I can recommend, dunno if it works but it's something to don't least.

Good to hear your kids are coping well conker, I was beating myself up too about going to the gym probs when the baby died but realistically I know it can't have been related.

I have attached to this message my first ever bbt chart. I think it is showing that I probs ovulated before the CD 17? My server uterus pain was actually CD16 so it could have been connected to that.

Will try opks after lunch next month having no luck with morning, evening or 4pm slots....

It is a horrible feeling, questioning everything you did. Everything crossed none of us have to go through it again!

Mulder - Conception yoga sounds great! Who does the videos?

Oh my goodness I so so so hope none of us have to go through the questioning ourselves again as it is the v worst feeling! And no matter how many times drs and nurses and husbands tell us that 'it was not because of anything you did or did not do' you cannot help it! And that is one of the feelings I am so scared of feeling again :-(

moon if you type "fertility yoga" into yoitube and it's by yoga yin

Thanks Mulder - that's my weekend sorted so! 😀 also, i don't track bbt so can't help with chart i'm afraid!

Mulder I use the fertility friends app for tracking my bbt. It does a chart for you and draws a cover line for you, which takes a lot of the guesswork out of it.