Is it a line? Time for some wine? Yep, it's TTC after miscarriage thread number nine.

[BertieBotts]

Hello ladies

Hope you don't mind my little poem...

Fingers crossed for some sticky beans this time.

(Newbies welcome too!)

Hello,

May join you? I naturally mc on Weds after finding out on Monday baby wasn't growing. Probably joining a little early but I think I feel it's being practical in terms of trying to work out what to do next and maybe what to expect.

This was my first mc, I have one dc already. I'm an 'older' mother so no idea how things will pan out - no reason not to think it will be ok!

I'm going to take asprin after bpf next time. We were advised after ds but I couldn't get clarity for the gp for this last pregnancy, however the dr at the hospital was very encouraging about trying it.

Great news Lisa. I have everything crossed for you. Yeah the 'today I am pregnant' thing seems to work for lots of people, I suppose it is literally taking it a day at a time.
Welcome exphrasis so sorry for your loss. Be kind to yourself over the next while, take the time to grieve and hug the ones you love.

Thank you Miami. I'm sorry to be here but it feels positive! I do like the poem bertie!

It's day 3 post mc and I was woken by pain in the night. I can't work out if it's wind or my uterus. Im still bleeding a little. I was checked on Weds and they said it was closing. Sorry to ask really but just want to check this is reasonably normal?

Miami

You are absolutely right- the main thing is getting a healthy pregnancy, not just becoming pregnant again.

I need to try and focus on that aspect more, but it is so very frustrating after feeling like I had wasted so many months last summer- pregnant but having it all swiped away in an instant during the dating scan.

Then weeks & weeks of bleeding, then spotting etc after medical management.

I just want another chance at a pregnancy...but yes the main thing is a HEALTHY pregnancy, of course.

Can I ask... is it normal to be really achey after mc? I had surgery on Monday, felt fine until yesterday. Now everything aches like crazy! Feel like I've done some seriously hardcore workout!

Turquoise
Sorry if I sounded preachy. As I said it is just the voice that I keep trying to get myself to listen to when I get panicky.

Unicorn
Pretty much anything is normal that soon after the mc. I didn't have surgery so my situation different, but crazy cramps etc were all par for the course.
Excessive bleeding, smells, high temp are all the things to look out for, if that happens you need to get seen by a healthcare professional.

Hi ladies, I was on this board briefly a while back and just wanted to let you know that i went against medical advice and started TTC immediately after my miscarriage. I got told off by numerous people including my GP, boss (!!!) and midwife. However I am now 12 weeks pregnant

The anxiety doesn't get easier but I hope this gives hope to those who are unsure whether to try again. I also found it hugely healing for me to get on with it (I do appreciate this wouldn't be the same for everyone).

I have been back to have a quick look at this board and I'm really thinking of everyone here, fingers crossed for more hugely deserved BFPS soon! Thank you all for your support through a very dark time for me, you are all amazing!!

88Claire I'm so pleased for you, it must be such a relief to make it past the 12 week milestone and have a healthy scan. I fully intend on TTC straight away. My Dr said the only reason they advise to wait for a period is so they can date things accurately. I don't want to wait just for that reason so I'm pleased to hear it was successful for you. Why were they so against it?

Dancing I had quite a lot of dizziness following my surgery and some slightly odd coloured discharge (greeny brown). I was worried for an evening but it didn't smell and stopped after one day so I think it was just the last bits of blood coming out (sorry if waaaayyy TMI). I didn't feel achey per se, but wiped out completely. Just look after yourself and keep an eye on your temp and other signs of infection. I also restarted the pregnacare and took some spatone in case I was low on iron.

Ekphrasis I'm so sorry for your loss. A similar thing happened to me--baby showed no growth on the scan and no heartbeat, and then mc happened naturally before they could even schedule me another appointment for the surgery. Such a whirlwind of shock and grief; please look after yourself and take time to recover. Some aches are normal; however if your pain is stronger than a period cramp and consistent I would certainly phone the GP or the EPU and ask them about it, particularly with a natural mc when you may have retained "products" as they say. If you have an infection you will probably notice a temperature spike and/or bad smelling discharge, but better to be on the safe side. That's what the doctors are there for!

Dancing I didn't have surgery, but I was certainly achy for a while, and also had weird indigestion and wind for a couple of weeks after the mc. Have you gone back to work already? I went back to work 3 days after mc and it was way too soon for me physically; I was dizzy, achy and totally wiped out (I then took more time and my colleagues/boss were very supportive that I shouldn't come back until I was fully well). Maybe more time off would be good for you, too? As another poster has said before, nobody is handing out badges for being a hero with this!

Ooo claire thank you for the update! 12 weeks is fantastic; you must be so happy to have that healthy scan photo! I'm glad you're doing well and good luck with the next trimester

Thanks wlm, I went back to work on Thursday, but ended up coming home after a few hours on Friday. I felt physically fine then, but emotionally not great. But then had to dash somewhere in the evening and the aching has just taken me by surprise as I had been feeling so well!

Started back on all the vitamins today, ready for after my first period, although after Claire's update, tempted to not wait! Though I'm not sure I could cope with the anxiety of not knowing dates etc. So glad to hear hopeful stories!

Well, unfortunately it looks like this is a chemical. I've gone from a pretty strong positive at 11dpo to a very nearly negative test at 13dpo. I so wish I'd waited until after AF was due to test. I just hope this is all over quickly. I don't think my last one ever properly implanted but it took a week and a half after AF was due to start bleeding.

Oh no, Lisa I'm so sorry. :(

Morning All,
I wanted to share another bit my story here to let you know this is a normal way to feel after what you've gone through. A few weeks after my 2nd MC last year, my DSIS told me she was pregnant, the news honestly hit me like a kick in the stomach, we're v close so I obviously wanted my reaction to be very different (my outward reaction to her was one of happiness still) She'd texted a couple of days before arranging to come round which set alarm bells ringing so at least I was pre warned, I said to my OH I think she's going to come and tell us she's pregnant and I think I'll struggle with it now, he said well you just have to be happy for her and our time will come. I felt like he didn't get it, it wasn't jealousy - just pain! I turned straight to this thread when she did tell me and had lots of lovely understanding words.
I also felt awful that she felt bad telling me as it should be such happy news to share.
I was still raw from the MC and really thought my mother would message or call to ask if I was okay...she didn't - in fact she didn't acknowledge it to me at all until many weeks later and that was just a comment about her not drinking at Christmas! It made me feel so alone. Around this time I also had had a horrible docs appointment where I'd asked for referral to RMC but the doc was awful and unsympathetic and shrugged his shoulders and told me I'd 'only had 2 MC's' I'm 37 so was feeling like time was against me too.
A couple of weeks later, I saw my best friend and told her about my sis pregnancy (it was still under wraps at this stage) she'd asked how I felt about it, I said fine so she pushed and asked if I really was as she'd had an MC too (was pg with her 2nd at the time of this convo) and remembered the crushing pain of hearing of a close friends pregnancy just after. I broke down told her the truth how I was obvs happy for her but struggling with it, it was such a relief to offload and her tell me it was normal and she'd felt the same.
I was very lucky to conceive a few weeks later (now 29 weeks) but then had the worry I'd have another MC and still have to face it all. Luckily it's all gone well and my sis and family were delighted for us - I can see now how my mother just struggled with how to deal with me about it all but it did really hurt, I just barely heard from her in that time until she knew I was pg too!
There have also been times when people made comments like oh did you plan it like this or have you just copied your sister and inside I'm thinking how I should have a one year old or 2 month old now - it's not about wanting to be the first but about remembering the pain we went through getting here!
Anyway, my sis had her baby last night and I couldn't be happy for her, it's lovely how our babies will be close in age and we will be on mat leave together.
My pregnancy is progressing well - I have been assigned growth scans at 28, 32 and 36 weeks as this pregnancy started as a twin one (showed at early 7 week scan) but baby 2 didn't develop so that was counted as 3 MC. I panicked at first when they told me I'd have them but it's actually nice knowing I'll see him at different stages as you don't get to after the 20 week one otherwise.
Anyway, sorry for waffling on, just wanted to say how you feel on pg announcements after an MC is totally normal. Wish you all positive outcomes on your journeys, it's so tough but you'll get there xx

Knorrig, that is tough. An Nct friend told dh she is pregnant with #3, (we are still with #1 though only started ttc this year so I suppose to have had one pregnancy already is positive) and I must say I was surprised by my mixed emotions. I guess our first and most recent children would have been in the same school year together at the same school, though less likely now.

I think pains I'm feeling seem to be wind as mentioned upthread. I've found the peppermint ibs oil tablets helpful. I remember they were really helpful after my c section.

Are there any reasons definitively research based not to ttc again immediately as able, besides the dating issue? I might be wise to wait a cycle anyway as my thyroid levels are still quite high due to being on more medication, though it should settle in a couple of weeks.

So lovely to hear positive stories from claire and knorrig, thank you both for coming back and sharing.

lisa, I'm so sorry. That's shit and you must be gutted. I hope it resolves soon

We're just back from a fabulous weekend away. Not a clue what happened with af. I was literally pouring Friday morning. Dizzy, faint, bit sore and sitting on the loo gushing or going through pads at a rate of knots. Was really worried about being in the car for hours so filled the bag with pads and painkillers, packed horrifically as a result and barely took any clothes.

Got to the place early aft and it stopped. Completely. Not a peep since. Never had a period like that in my life. Solid bleeding for two and a half days then nothing.

So it turned into quite a romantic weekend! And I'm having a lovely birthday

Huge to everyone x x x

No, no reason not to try again. Just dating really, there is some speculation about womb lining but I don't think it's been proven at all, and it doesn't make sense, as the womb lining is shed during a normal period too.

Had slight spotting after DTD this cycle, DH reckons that happened the other two times we got pregnant so maybe?? Will be easiest 2ww ever as I'm visiting home so will be lovely and distracted.

Lovely to hear some positive stories of successful pregnancys. I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant this month, as AF due next week some time and I have had no symptoms whatsoever. Usually I'm super tired and have lots of discharge by now, but not really sure when/if I ovulated.
Re reasons to wait until after 1st AF before TTC again.... the midwife after my last MC said something about the first Af making sure the uterus was fully cleared out and no chance of a new pregnancy trying to implant in any left over lining but not sure how scientific that is....

Hello, hope you don't mind me butting in -
I just wanted to comment on the Q about research against trying straight away after mc. After my mc I could fine none! And my OB said the same and told me to go for it. I actually did get pg first cycle but unfortunately it was a chem. The OB just commented it probably wasn't a suitable environment for implantation. My situation was strange though as I ovulated within a couple of days of the bleeding stopping (long mc) so it was pretty logical that the lining wasn't ready.

Maybe in practice that's what often happens or can happen rather than 'don't' try. Perhaps the ovulation timing can sometimes be wonky whereas in the next cycle it's back on track?

Yes, that's true. Perhaps if there's a short gap between bleeding and ovulation, it's not recommended. I had short cycles straight afterwards.

anne glad to hear you had a good weekend and happy birthday!! Beautiful weather for it too.

lisa sorry to hear aBout the bfn

Ovulated late this cycle I think , CD 18 felt a big twinge in my ovary, have dtd twice today and am using the fertility check gel properly this time (ie inserting it) - the squelch is a bit off putting!!!

EKphrasis - for me that was the case. But by the next cycle everything was back to normal and I ovulated around the usual time. Even though it didn't work out I don't regret ttc straight away. You do whatever you need to do to heal.