Is it a line? Time for some wine? Yep, it's TTC after miscarriage thread number nine.

[BertieBotts]

Hello ladies

Hope you don't mind my little poem...

Fingers crossed for some sticky beans this time.

(Newbies welcome too!)

@annelovesgilbert. I'm CD25 of a 28 day cycle and I'm regular as clock work and have had BFP from 10dpo and sounds silly but with my last pregnancy I knew as my heart rate was up on my Fitbit as well as other symptoms but nothing this cycle. I know I ovulated on the 14th too so no doubt it's late implanting. You said about reflexology and I have been going since January and I absolutely love it, it is so relaxing so I'm having a session once a month until I conceive. Where is the fertility bracelet from and do you wear it all the time? I would be so interested in that? Xx

Thanks ladies. I'm feeling much calmer about things today. Have had a bit more spotting but I really don't want to go to EPU any more than I have to so have decided to hang fire and not ask about blood tests. If it is going to turn out to be a chemical or I'm going to have another miscarriage that is going to happen regardless and I think having blood tests would increase my anxiety levels. No doubt this zen attitude won't last!

Sorry to everyone who is having crappy AFs

@AnneLovesGilbert I have sent you a PM

Thanks sock!

I checked my app today and I'm on CD20. Only checked because I had a really strong bout of low down cramping and I'm massively bloated. Also got really sore boobs and I burst into tears when we passed a hearse and a load of cars with "we love you" signs on the back on the way home. I bawled. I'm always prone to a cry but this was extreme.

Firmly resolved that this isn't our month, I'm NOT symptom spotting. I'm still exhausted from the amount I did last cycle. And hormonal bloat and weeping are as likely to be pre af as anything else.

Heading for an early night. And I've baked bread and made soup, which usually levels me out.

Nicola, how have you found reflexology? Do they give you much feedback or not? My woman didn't ever say much and I've liked a bit more chat on her findings! I'll ask her when I see her in a couple of weeks.

The bracelet I chose was from eBay, I'll find a link. I mentioned it to DH who made a sheepish face as he'd bought me a different one!

I'm also sleeping with a rose quartz heart under my pillow. I know... But it makes me feel like I'm doing something and I don't go to church or anything so this is where I turn to!

The main stones for fertility and pregnancy seem to be moonstone, rose quartz and aquamarine.

Thanks @annelovesgilbert. I'm going to take a look on eBay and see what I can find.

My reflexologist usually tells me if she finds anything, neck stiffness and sore lower back so far but she says everything else is good. I've been going a few days after I've ovulated the last few cycles and I've booked to go just before I ovulate next cycle so will see if she picks that up. I feel like it's doing me some good and it's really relaxing if nothing else. Let us know how you get on when you go again and maybe ask if there's any areas of concern?

I can recommend reflexology. My therapist gives quite a lot of feedback. I've always felt my feet to be pretty sensitive, and I have been blown away. Lower back pain that's been pretty much cured in two sessions despite being there since my pregnancy with almost 3 year old DS. Lumpy boobs made much less so by "working on lymphatic drainage " in the relevant area, and to top it all off " a little knot in my uterus that she mentioned before my last bfp, which had gone by the following appointment after my final early MC.......... BUT I'm medical so it goes against the grain to believe it does much more than relax me!

I'm a massive advocate for reflexology too and I know a lot of women who've had successful pregnancies after having it. My lady also does reiki and lots of other things. It's a bit weird at times but I try to be open minded. I'm willing to give anything a go these days! I found it worked really well with yoga and we talked a lot in both about positive thinking and it felt a bit like therapy really. It's very relaxing above all else so worth a go I would say x

I am definitely going to try reflexology and\ or accupuncture. I have never hated AF more than i do right now. I have never really done the POAS thing as I know it's such a slim possibility for each month but still the arrival of AF every month is devastating.

Survived the meeting with my friend but only just. Seeing her bump and knowing I should be there was frankly devastating but I managed to be polite and only crying note on the easy home.

Hugs to everyone ☺

It's so shit swim. Hope you're feeling ok. Better to let it out then bottle it up. It's torture putting on a smile and asking the right questions and being enthusiastic when you're going through this. Me and dh have both got a lot of friends which is great and we're both very social but nearly all of them are pg or have young children and babies. I have been feeling really resentful recently which is crap. Not of them but of the situation and how it makes me feel so left out.

A lot of people also swear by acupuncture and people say it's good for regulating your cycles if you need help with that.

I don't think POAS is a good idea at all. I know it's tempting but it makes you feel so shit to see a negative all the time, not worth putting yourself through it and it's weirdly addictive and totally demoralising I think.

Hi all. Sorry that you've been having such a hard time swim.

I'm a bit upset because I ovulated late - which I guess was probably to be expected the cycle after my miscarriage, even though it was so early - and it means that I ovulated while away on a work trip, so (while not impossible) our odds are lower than I would have liked. It might be for the best though - I'm trying, and failing, to not fixate too much on this cycle. I keep seeing versions of the 'I lost at 5/6 weeks but then fell the next month and now have a two year old!' stories and getting hopeful, but I'm almost certainly setting myself up for a fall.

Hi I'm just over 3 and a bit weeks since my erpc for miscarriage and today I got a positive digital test says 1-2 weeks... What does this mean? Could I actually be pregnant again or is it just my hormones haven't gone down or?
I have a shortish cycle so af would have been due around now.. Or it was before the mc anyway...

Smurf
Could be BFP or as you said random hormones! Did you get a clear negative after the erpc? In which case should be a new bfp. If it were me I would wait a good few days and see if another test increases to 2-3weeks on the digi?
Bit of a tough one for you, hope you are ok.

No I didn't get a negative after erpc.. But I hadn't tested either. It was only after reading on here that I saw some people had said about being told to test after a couple of weeks. Mine didn't mentioned that just said procedure went well and that there was no follow up..
I'm OK thanks just scared to get my hopes up and terrified it would all go wrong again if it really is positive

Smurf I think Miami gives good advice! I'd wait until at least 4 weeks have passed and test again. Either way, at least you'll know! Incidentally my first cycle after mc was 6 weeks so I wouldn't base anything on what your cycle length was like before! Fx for you X

smurf. I tested positive atleast 4 weeks after my early MC. It was awful as it felt like it went on forever. I would listen to miami and wait a couple of days to retest. I remember mine took up until exactly for weeks to show no pregnancy. Hope that hells

Lisa, I know exactly what you mean. I swear that if anyone else says that you're at your most fertile in the few months after a MC, I might punch them!! I know they mean well but I have had so much flipping bleeding that the 2 months or so since mine have been a no go and now I feel like if it doesn't happen in the next couple of months, I will have missed my "best chance" and then just feel even more shit!!

Smurf, Miami definitely gives good advice. Will keep fx for you but readings after a MC can be very misleading.

swimchick definetly try acupuncture or reflexology to get your periods back to normal and stop bleeding. I also agree avoid the MC and being fertile conversation. It's even more pressure. I try to avoid all that because everyone's different.

I'm just into my FW and of course, we're now off on holiday for 5 days--with his parents in a shared AirBnB! gah. DTD anyway, and besides FIL is mostly deaf

Hope it's not TMI (or TMI to ask for), but I'm just wondering, as we're quite new to the actual trying bit of ttc, what tips any of you may have about not making it seem like an exercise regimen? You know, like I'm not just using him like clockwork every other day for his baby-making abilityand vice versa!and it all becomes a bit of a drudge. I find it awfully hard to physically DTD if I'm not very up for it, personally...

Hi wlmcl the whole tricky forceful fw issue. Well after months of trying I found that eventually if you go with how you feel and enjoy it rather than have strict dates helps to keep the passion going. I used to be really strict and it ended up affecting my dh and my intimacy as well as his performance. It even caused arguments. The month we conceived before MC we did no planning at all, just chilled out, had sex when we fancied it and enjoyed it rather than being a process. That was my experience though others may have different thoughts.

My experience is exactly the same. I used ovulation kits and tried to plan dtd for most of last year, stopped smoking, drinking, living our lives really which resulted in a lot of stress and upset and arguments between me and dH and .....still nothing. Month we got a bfp before mc we just chilled out and didn't 'monitor' anything and started living again.

Hi ladies :) just checking in with a BFN on FR 6 days earlier at 10 dpo... I know "I'm not out til I'm out" but I feel like I'm out :(

I know lots of people have the 'we relaxed and it happened!' story - this wasn't the case for us. My bfp before mc happened after we'd been trying for seven months, but was the first month we'd managed to have sex on the day of ovulation, the two days beforehand and the day after - ie. all the 'best fertile days'. It could be coincidence, but for us 'trying harder' did seem to work. I wish it hadn't - I wish I had fallen pregnant on one of our 'relaxed months' (which we did try several times) - as it's now putting a lot of pressure on us both: we're both really anxious that if we don't do it 'right' I won't get pregnant again. But we are where we are. For us it helps to have a real sense of humour about it and to accept that ovulation day sex might not be the best sex you ever have. I think it helps a lot that we're really open about my body and so I'm not trying to 'hide' that I'm ovulating by pretending I just happen to be really amorous that day...

For what it's worth, I have actually noticed that even though fertile week sex can sometimes be a bit of a slog, overall it seems to have been good for our sex life. We're definitely having more sex throughout the month than we did before. I think for us intimacy is a habit that you can get more or less into it, and we'd maybe drifted into a less active sex life before we started trying.

So many people say that Chlo, but it’s so hard to do! I’ve ditched symptom spotting on my Ovia app this month as it was driving me nuts, had the odd glass of wine and been slightly less obsessive about fruit and veg. But it’s so hard to let go all the stuff you feel like you ought to be doing.

WLM, hope you have a nice holiday! We tried to embrace the funny side of DTD when the calendar suggests, in a sort of “DH, it’s time, jump me when we get home from work and I’ll make dinner while you find us something to watch” way. Not every day but almost embracing it. I’ve also popped something lacy on and laid around on the bed with the tube of baby lube while he’s brushed his teeth so try and combine sexy and practical

I think it depends on how it is usually as part of your relationship but I’ve found a bit of humour helps.

There’s also nothing wrong with making sure you don’t spend too much time focussing on the baby making stuff in particular. Don’t wear yourselves out, try and DTD every other day during FW if that’s easier than doing it every day. Have a drink, do lots of kissing, maybe do it on the sofa instead of in your room (when you’re home, not on holiday with the inlaws!)

That is some people’s experiences Lisa but it’s not what happens to everyone and it’s just a cycle, like any other. Also, we’ve probably all been there with a cycle which feels more intense than others, I’ve tried thinking myself out of it and there’s just no point. Try and distract yourself if you can but if you can’t it’s okay, it doesn’t mean you’re losing your sanity, just that this is where you’re at right now and if this isn’t the cycle it’ll happen it doesn’t mean that the one after will feel as obsessive.

Thinking of you smurf, keep us posted.

We were back at the RMC yesterday. Got a print out of my bloods and had a good pick through last night. I’ve never been more boring or average, such a relief.

He was very reassuring that the last mc a cycle ago was a pregnancy that never really got off the ground as the first HCG result was too low. So definitely chromosomal, yes more crappy luck, but could have happened to anyone, and has no bearing on our overall chances. Made us feel a lot better.

Despite that, he’s put me on baby/low dose aspirin which I started yesterday (£1.50 for 100 in tesco, bargain!). There’s loads of conflicting stuff online but I’m following doctor’s orders and taking it from just before ovulation till af or bfp, then switching to clexane/fragmin at bfp.

Nothing to do now but crack on and hope we catch again soon.

The only slight crappiness was I’d fully resolved not to waste money or sanity by poas till I was late. He’s now said that’s too late and banged on at length about testing EVERY month with a FRER from 5 days pre af. Which doesn’t fill me wth joy. He’s adamant that (despite no dodgy blood test results) I have to get on the clexane asap.

If we have another loss following the above he’s got progerstone and steroids (didn’t say what) to throw at it.

I know only a few people are in a RMC so I don’t want to bore everyone else with it but it was reassuring and he shared some interesting stuff.

Af due Tuesday. Apart from weepiness and the biggest most painful boobs ever I’m thinking af will show, and I got a bfn today. Seemed so stupid even bothering