Thread 27. TTC #1 - we're stressed, we're fed up, we're bitter but I promise this will all be worth it when we're holding our precious babies

[AlexiaB]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

Here's our Grad's Thread. May 2017 lead us all to upduffed heaven and the Grad's thread, amen.

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

Key:
HS - have/had sex
GOS - good old shag
ELH - enthusiastic lavatory happenings
LSFX - legs spread, fingers crossed

Thank you lovelies

Skipper I'm not okay at all to be honest, I fear I may either murder someone or burst into tears at work today ha!

I just never expected this to be my life, you know? I just feel like a shadow of my former self at the moment. This past year has been the worst one of my life. I just feel so much resentment and sadness about it all.

It's completely understandable Kerry - are you able to take a half day today? How's your DH holding up too?

Oh I'm so so sorry Kerry - what a blow 🙁 No wonder you feel terrible. At least your holiday might help you recalibrate without having to face work at the same time, but it's understandably very raw right now. Have you got support IRL?

He seemed okay - I know he's upset inside but he's more worried about taking care of me outwardly. It makes me so sad as he would make an amazing dad. We started trying when I was 30 and now I'm about to turn 33 and all I can see is waiting for IVF and whether that will even work...

That's a great idea Skipper but I can't at the moment - I've been having loads of time off for other dental and my medical appts. I will go home and look after myself tonight though.

Oh Kerry, I'm so sorry. Thinking of you, take it easy and spend some quality time with your DH. Look after each other 💕

Missed your post PJs - thank you. I do have support but no one who is in / has been in the same boat. Maybe that would help. I thought about counseling this morning, but I also feel like there isn't a lot of point, unless it can make me pregnant. I know that's silly. I feel so worthless/angry. Maybe I need to take up kickboxing!

Oh Kerry, how dreadful 💐 totally understandable to feel down- have tonight to wallow- eat chocolate or ice cream or whatever it is that gets you through, then I totally second planning lots of pregnancy un-friendly stuff to do to help he time speed by til June.

I know it probably doesn't help but thinking of you x

Not silly at all Kerry - I used to feel that way about counselling (e.g. Unless I got my ex back nothing would work or make me feel better), but in the end, counselling really helped me deal with my emotions better around things I have no control over. It's definitely not for everyone, but I thoroughly recommend it.

Just took myself to the 'contemplation room' in our office to do another 10 minute headspace session - it's so so good! Might try and suggest it to DH - but not sure I'll have any luck.

What a brilliant first chart glittery Well done you! That's a clear and sustained ovulation shift so I think your theory about your opk being positive later on CD12 makes a lot of sense. The reason you don't have solid crosshairs is because you've noted EWCM after ovulation (I don't think that's a huge deal though, just thought I'd inform you). Everything looks great, fx for you 🤞

Thanks Binky. Glad you've O'd You're a Trooper for continuing with EOD!

Good work Flash, hope you catch that egg

Chlo from what I've seen the NHS are very reluctant to hand out Clomid unless you have ovulation issues. Pretty ridiculous as it's often the boost you need, they're just not very proactive. There's definitely no harm in trying it if you ovulate. As I always say - bigger, better and more eggs = a greater chance of conception. That woman I showed yesterday is Canadian and O'd on her own regularly but Clomid helped her conceive.

Oh Kerry I'm devastated for you hon I'm so sorry. You have every right to feel bitter and angry at the world. Infertility is soul destroying. Don't give up hope though, you have been through a lot but your ttc journey is not over yet! IUI can still work for you, I'm just so sorry it didn't work out this time and that you now have a big wait to try again Your DH sounds lovely putting your needs before himself. Take care of each other and eat all the food and drink you love Things will get better. Love and hugs xx

I'm also quite shocked. Did they not put you on progesterone suppositories after the procedure? I'm surprised AF has arrived before you made it to your beta on Thursday, it doesn't seem right? I know in 99.9% of private cases progesterone is given as standard after treatment. Not that this helps you right now but it's maybe something to bring up next time?

Thanks Alexia that's super kind of you. I will ask them about the progesterone definitely - thanks for the advice!

Thanks Jam and Binky as well. I'm sure you're right about counselling

So sorry kerry xx

Question ladies -the whole no xrays if pregnant thing, how soon is that an issue? I have the dentist tomorrow and occasionally they might suggest an xray to check a filling. There's a notice on their wall to say to tell them if you might be pregnant before an xray -at 1dpo should I pipe up?

Thanks for the advice alexia. This was private consultant who said it could have adverse effects. I didn't really understand why, perhaps I need to bring up again? Anythings worth a try isn't it.

Winging if you're worried I would say "there's a possibility I could be pregnant but it's too early to know for sure" and see how they respond. I'm sure they'll be used to it.

Chlo I don't have any knowledge of clomid, but medicine, rightly or wrongly, is normally used reactively rather than proactively. In any scenario fertility or otherwise, it's not usually the done thing to recommend something if there's not a clear indication it will help.

I know that doesn't help you, and I'm not saying you shouldn't explore it, or ask for a second opinion, but the experiences of people who take medication (for fertility or anything else) not under supervision of a medical professional are anecdotal and you can't know their exact circumstances so can't extrapolate their results to your situation.

Also, and I am in no way trying to start an argument or negate your research Alexia but to give the flip side of the coin for those who are worried about when they ovulate, the information I can find, suggests that early ovulation can occur with an egg that is not mature and thus not suitable for fertilization, and that early ovulation may mean the womb lining has had less opportunity to thicken, thus making implantation more difficult. Combining the info Alexia had and for the info I have found, this is presumably why 14 day OV is the average, and some might say optimal, point of ovulation: not too early, not too late.

I think the reason the follicular phase doesn't cause as many problems is because it's the variable part of most women's cycles, so just because you ovulate early one month, doesn't mean you always will, whereas LP is much more fixed and so more of a problem if it's too short.

Kerry

Flash sorry but I completely disagree re. Meds. You can't compare fertility meds to paracetamol or something. If I have a headache I can take it or leave it. Fertility is a whole different ball game. The meds are there to get you pregnant/give you the very best chance. For example - kwick ovulates on her own but has done medicated IUI? Why? To be proactive! That's just a small example and I really hate to bring others into this but feel it's necessary to highlight how common it is. That woman I mentioned yesterday, who ovulated on her own, was given Clomid by her Dr. It's the logical next step if you're not conceiving after years of well timed sex and there's no MFI. It's the logical next step before you head down the IUI or IVF route. Geeup tried 3 rounds of Clomid before moving to IVF, given by a UK consultant. She had no O issues, just MFI. Clomid is even given to men to improve sperm count! Of course it's best to be prescribed it properly but there are safe, alternative routes and private scans can easily be arranged. And yes I self-medicate with Femara but I got it from a Dr and I know the small risks. I've done 5 cycles and had absolutely no issues (I prefer Femara for this reason). I'd much rather ovulate each cycle then spend 70+ days in torment like I did last year after my miscarriage.

Chlo your consultant might not have wanted to mess with your hormones/cycle because he feels it's just a matter of time since you've conceived before, but I guarantee it you asked him to start an IUI cycle you'd be discussing Clomid or injectable meds such as Gonal F (like Kerry had). I guess my point is - these meds are not the enemy!

About egg quality - ovulating early (CD11-14) is ideal but there is leeway and obviously everyone is different and it no way means things are impossible later! I've seen many real life cases in my years on FF with fertility drugs and breaks cycles, and late O, I was just sharing my info with Jam and Skipper who were interested. No time really to get into it further but I just know I'm much happier O'ing on/before CD16 than I was CD20+.

Alexia I wasn't disagreeing about using clomid, but there was a discussion a few pages back (I think) about buying it oneself online without having been recommended to take it. All I meant for Chlo was that of course she should get a second opinion/raise it again, but all fertility drugs are not miracles to all of us having difficulties, and her consultant might have a genuine reason for saying it could have adverse affects for her, and that self-medicating, if that even was something she would consider, might not be the best idea. Online it's difficult as we only know limited amounts of information about each other's health, medical history, medical knowledge etc. I'm not suggesting for one minute that people's experiences/contributions aren't helpful, but that in desperation people might make medical decisions that are unwise/unsafe without the support of a RL doctor. Also Kwick has medicated IUI because she doesn't have a partner so wouldn't be able to get pregnant without some form of intervention.

Also I think we had crossed wires as to what we meant as early. My idea of early is pre-11 days, whereas your idea of early was 11-14 days, which I think is where the confusion came from.

I genuinely didn't mean to cause offense/an argument and think people should do everything in their power to get pregnant if that's what they want. I think I will take a step back as not sure my contributions are welcome/coming across as intended.

Also, I just want to post this message, it's not 'anecdotal', it's fact (although a bit long winded). She has no reason to lie to us. I'm also posting this to prove that Doctors prescribe Clomid regularly without ANY monitoring (this example is America). This is no different to buying it from the UK Pharmacy with an over the phone consultation. The girl was given Clomid without any further investigation (and given more than one cycle's worth) to help her O after her cycles went haywire after her miscarriage (like mine did). And as you can see it worked and she's now pregnant.

Disclaimer - this is not an example of someone who is ovulating on their own but it's someone who used to. These drugs are not evil, they really can help if luck is also in your favour.

Sorry, that's absolutely not what I meant about Kwick. Of course I know she's a single woman, I just mean she fell pregnanct with a medicated IUI (she had previously done non-medicated IUI. If I remember correctly the non-medicated and we actually against her Dr's recommendation. Could be wrong. I miss you kwick ❤️)

I actually didn't tell Chlo to go ahead and buy it online. She should ask her Consultant why. I only mentioned it to skipper and Jam as an option if their consultant's won't give it at their next appointments and before starting IVF. I remember Jam's said no because of MFI which is a weak reason. The Oxford Online pharmacy is legit place to buy all sorts of meds. My friend's have used it. You have to go through a phone consultation with a doctor first and they give you all the information, warnings etc.

I haven't taken offence btw, just passionate about this! Xx

And we = was. Pregnant*. Typos lol.

Cross posted. No need to step back Flash. It's all good

Sorry, I'm still crazy at work so barely having time to catch up but just wanted to say that I absolutely agree with you Flash and please don't feel like you have to take a step back. What's the saying, anecdata is not data? In certain circumstances, these kind of drugs are obviously very important but there not cure all and, aside from the ethical issues, I can't help feeling that believing they're a panacea just ends up putting more pressure on you and you end up feeling more like a 'failure' when it doesn't work (when really, it was never going to improve your chances in the first place).

Kerry, also just scrolled back and so sorry to see your news