SQUARE ONE TO GRADUATES! Come on ladies we're huntin' BFPs!

[MotherOfBeagles]

I get twitchy at the end lol! So next rollover thread. Roll call?

Oh Kate I feel your pain lovely I really do. The waiting is like torture. We had to wait three months for our first appointment at the hospital and that was back in January. We won't start IVF until October. You just feel so out of control and like life is on hold.

I won't say I feel positive about it because I don't - I think I've come to some level of acceptance about it taking time though. At times trust me I'm completely beside myself. The other week I cried the entire journey to work - overground and underground trains and walking all just sobbing uncontrollably. It's so awful, the hardest most painful experience I've ever faced.

How to cope? Well everyone has their own ways but these are a few things that help

• reminding myself that once we become parents (which we will) everything will change and life will never be the same again - we must make the most of life and not throw this time away
• that this hardship is making me find sources of strength within I never knew I had
• it's the biggest test our relationship has faced and I hope it makes us stronger and more resilient in the future
• that we have to be grateful and remember to feel thankful for things we do have (there is a lovely app called grateful which prompts you to record something daily you are grateful for - reading back through it is so helpful)
• that we are getting help and whilst it's slow thank goodness it's there
• that we will be amazing mummies when we eventually get there and we will never take it for granted
• to look after your mental and physical health as best you can - eat well, meditate, do yoga etc

I really recommend reading Izzy Judd's book Dare To Dream about her experience of IVF.

I think it's not the wait, but the constantly changing goalposts... that and he fact that I'm off for two months NOW and won't have had an appointment in that time!!! Which is ridiculous. I don't think I trust them... so how can I trust them to help me get pregnant (and stay that way).

I've emailed a local grief counsellor. Considering taking the antidepressants my gp foisted on me back in December, but I was fine yesterday... so I know I'm just over reacting.

It's every time I expect something (like appointment during my summer hols) and then it doesn't happen.... the change in expectations that absolutely send me over the edge.

You're not overreacting - you're right, the changing goal posts is totally unfair. Once you get your heart and mind set on something happening it's horrible having to adjust. I've got a countdown app counting down to our first IVF appointment and I'd be very very gutted if that were to change.

Grief counsellor is a good idea. I can also recommend the UK Fertility Network - they have volunteers you can speak to and meet ups. I'm going to my first meet up in a few weeks. It's so helpful talking to people who understand face to face

fertilitynetworkuk.org

Hope you're feeling better today Kate xx

Thanks jam. Feeling a bit back to normal - numb and depressed...

I think I might try to change clinics. Dh is concerned about paying when we're currently on the NHS. But I just don't trust them jerking me around. If they'd not been quite so inept sending me an appointment for when they're closed.... if they'd told me the chlamydia bloods take 4-5 weeks... if they hadn't said we'd always been seen at one hospital when now we are given an appointment at another.... I don't think they're bothered if I get pregnant or not...

How you doin?

I don't blame you. Can you go back to your GP and ask to be referred to another unit?

I'm full of cold 🤒 upset tummy, blocked ears, the works. Am on the sofa with the cat and my laptop doing some work to keep things ticking over!

We kicked off FW last night which was nice. Egg due at weekend. Don't really feel too much about it other than , we might as well try for nothing.

Sorry you are feeling down @kate. When they say ttc is a Rollercoaster ride, l honestly think that's an understatement. That's a great way to cope jam , being grateful for what we have. Maybe you do need to change clinics if that could help.

Sorry you are poorly @jam. A speedy recovery to you.

Hope af is leaving @tee. Did you get a chance to see your Dr to discuss the way forward?

Watching vegas baby on Netflix. Feeling grateful. It could be worse. It gives perspective...

I saw that the other day Kate, definitely an interesting perspective. So many couples unable to get any help in the US

I'll download that and have a watch later.
Mim I don't think I'm going to bother with my GP. Feel a bit uncomfortable paying for private care only to go crawling back to the NHS for a cheaper prescription. My mum has given me 4 weeks worth of Thyroxine, but I guess I will still need to get to the chemist as my Consultant wants to review me after 6 weeks. Can't remember how much a private prescription is but think around the £80 mark? I've already paid out so much to go down the private route.

Tee you must absolutely get thyroxine through your GP as you might need to take it for the rest of your life!

This is from the NHS:
An underactive thyroid is a lifelong condition, so you'll usually need to take levothyroxine for the rest of your life. If you're prescribed levothyroxine because you have an underactive thyroid, you're entitled to a medical exemption certificate. This means you don't have to pay for your prescriptions.

So that means all prescriptions you will need are FREE!!!!

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Thyroid-under-active/Pages/Treatment.aspx

I think by the sounds of it the consensus is that my level is only high in respect of pregnancy and not in general? But do you know what, you've made me rethink there. No harm in going to the gp and reviewing it all with them? I.e not going with the sole intention of getting a free prescription but to keep them in the loop and discuss implications outside of pregnancy? Thanks Kate 😘

Jam are you feeling any better today? x

I am feeling a bit better thanks lovely xx

Booked an appointment with my GP for Friday 18th, thanks again Kate for the encouragement.
CD5 here, it feels like AGES since we've actively 'tried'. Very excited to kick off the new strategy; steroids for 10 days from ovulation to suppress my immune system. Have ordered an exercise bike so I can keep lightly active; some of the ladies who have gone on this plan report weight gain and moonfaces 🌝 I'd sacrifice anything for a sticky bfp.
How's everybody getting on?
Jam FW for you? Hope DH is complying x

Glad to hear you got the ball rolling @tee

Hurrah tee extra good luck this cycle

DH complying so far, he's just got home this am and egg is due Sunday so there's a lotta shagging on the cards this weekend 👍🏼

Excellent, always handy when ov falls on the weekend! Are you still on Clomid or have you dumped that?

Sounds like a plan tee. Have you got plans for relaxing holiday? What cycle are u on now since your last bfp?

Jam, glad you are feeling better. Was going to ask the same thing - are u taking clomid this time?

Kate hope you're alright. I'm frustrated for you all these appointments but not feeling like you are getting heard.

Mimi did u feel pregnant when you tested? How u feeling now? Have u tested again with a clearblue to see how many weeks? X

Ditched the clomid just couldn't be bothered with it again. Positive OPK today and it's shag central. Nothing to lose although doesn't feel much point !

I'm ok too. I think just impatient, because once again I had an expectation (not unjustly as they said 5-6 weeks until appointment) that I would be seen next during my summer hols...

So lower expectations. I'm now expecting them to say I'm not rubella immune so will have to stop ttc and have another mmr... If I go in thinking they aren't going to do anything or run any more tests, then it will be a bit less shit when that's what happens I think. Anyway, more to discuss with the therapist lady on Tuesday.

Hi Footy, how's things? My last bfp was October last year, so at least 10 cycles ago. Feeling hopeful about my treatment plan.
Good luck catching the egg Jam!
Mimi hope things are progressing with your pg??
Is your therapist helping Kate?

Anyone following Izzy Judd and her work in the field of fertility and IVF? Highly recommend her lovely book. She does some Facebook live chats which I quite enjoy for the tips and general positive vibes she sends out. Could never comment or 'like' because all you Facebook 'friends' would see, and I'm not ready to expose of even hint at having these problems publicly!? Silly really because her approach is to break the taboo and get people talking. She's very sweet, we exchanged a few private Facebook messages.

*or even hint

Tee I read her book and really liked it. Didn't know she did Facebook stuff will look at that! Know what you mean about not going public with it - I'm not ready. If we have a successful IVF baby then I wouldn't hide it but this side of treatment I don't want anyone knowing really