40+ ttc: bring on the bfp's!

[ababsurdum]

Continuation of the long-running 40+ ttc thread.

Link to the previous thread.

Becky, it's a depressing time of the month - both hormonally and because of the disappointment. Let yourself feel sad for a few days then you will start to feel better again.

38.5 isn't late. Loads of my friends started then.

Hope it's third time lucky for you,

How long have you been trying for?

Sounds like a helpful GP you have Jelly!

Becky, also sending you best wishes. Hope you feel better soon like Ali says.

Hi there, I posted here before. I'm aged 41, 2 kids aged 6 and 8 and been trying for a third for over a year. So sorry to read about your situation greedyduck.
I've been feeling v down the last few days too. Just feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted. Def can't go on like this for much longer. We've decided to try for 3 more cycles naturally, then 1 go of ivf. If that doesn't work I'll feel i gave it my best shot and hopefully be able to move on from there with no regrets. I think ill go for counselling too. Having very negative thoughts and just not myself.

Ah User, your situation is very similar to mine. Did you conceive easily before? Have you had any tests?

Hi alibaba, yes I think you gave me advice on another thread. Sorry I don't know how to change my username to something less generic. All tests are fine and I got pregnant 2 months ago after laparoscopy but had an early miscarriage. This initially gave me hope that at least I can get pregnant but now I'm wallowing that eggs might be all too old. Only time will tell I suppose.
Have you decided to just try naturally? Never thought I'd end up doing ivf but will give it one go if I have to.

Alibaba, we've been at it for 18 months now.

And just for an extra little kick in the teeth, we got our initial report through today from the adoption agency. They cannot recommend that we start the formal process until at least September, because we have no childcare experience. Because WE HAVE NO CHILDREN to look after, duh! Cue months of continuing TTC while grudgingly offering free babysitting to our friends.

Thank goodness for lovely friends and family, and a hobby that makes me happy. And a forum like this to vent on!

Hi User - yes I remember now. It's very early days so give it a bit longer and it's a good sign you were pg recently.

I think we'll just keep trying naturally. I very nearly went to an ivf clinic but saw a natural guru instead. I wonder if things would have turned out differently... I don't think OH wants to go down the IVF road.

Becky, that sucks. How long is the process once you start in Sep? Adoption is a wonderful thing and I definitely would go down that road if I didn't have any kids. But hopefully you won't need to anyway...

So you've just turned 40? I think you get a bit of a fertility boost at 40 as quite a few people I know fell pg then quite easily (including me). Have all tests come back ok?

Alibaba - yes, we got all the recurrent miscarriage tests done (mixture of NHS and private) so there's no medical reason.

You were quite right, a couple of days and I feel much better about the whole thing. Won't be long before ovulation comes around again, better get on with DTD!

Evening ladies. I'm so very confused and am worrying there's something up! Turning 40 hadn't been good to me 😩 I'm 3 days late with bfn, faint cramps, feeling yuk and tired on CD 33 of a normal 26/27/28 day cycle. (Saying that I'll prob come on now I've written this!) given up hope of a bfp as it's been 2 weeks since dtd around a much later ovulation than expected. Any suggestions?

Hey mini, I don't know what to suggest but hope you're ok? If ov was later this month then maybe this cycle slightly longer as the luteal phase tends to be the more constant bit? Test again?

Glad you're feeling bit better Becky... have fun DTD! I think advice fm the 40s pg thread was to go for it as much as poss week after AF!

Ali is oh dead set against ivf? Wd he consider IUI or natural cycle ivf?

I think he is against it Clara. He thinks we don't need it but I think he's in denial.

Hi. Hope it's ok to join...I'm 46 and just suffered m/c no. 4 (5 losses in total). My first pregnancy at 39 was ectopic & I had my right Fallopian tube taken out; despite this I went on to conceive naturally 5 more times in my 40's (2 more m/c, one live birth at 42 and 2 more m/cs - the last 1 month ago at 46 and a d&c). I'm told there's "nothing wrong with me" bar my age and have a good ovarian reserve. We tried ivf last year with no joy and are desperate to have a sibling for our beautiful 3 year old. Am I crazy to still hope at this ripe old age that it may still work? Every time I lose a child a piece of me dies but I can't give up hope no matter how futile it seems... can anyone offer any advice or inspiration!? Is there anything more I can do to improve egg quality? I'm fit and healthy and on folic acid and coq10.

Welcome pog, pls join. So sorry to hear about your mcs... thats really tough. Glad to hear abt your gorgeous 3yo tho. I don't have much advice or inspiration I'm afraid. I'm 44 and had no luck since ds was born when I was 41. Just got AF so feeling bit grotty today. Did you read All abt the egg book? Good advice on egg quality.

Hope OH comes round Ali if you decide you want to go for ivf.

Hi ladies - can I join you please? I have a 7 year old DD with my ExH but next month I'm having IUI in Denmark with donor sperm. Traveling on the 13th. I can only afford to do this a couple of time and then I'll have to be out so crossing fingers.

Hi Phoenix, great to have you on the thread and good luck for IUI! Are you having scans done in uk before you travel or everything in DK? Good luck....!

Does anyone know how to reduce spotting? I currently bleed for 5 days then 3 days dark spotting which I don't think is helping me. Any links or tips much appreciated.

Hope everyone enjoyed the bank hol..! How is everyone else?

Hi Clara, if you have a fibroid in your womb you'll get some spotting and it's not a problem. Fibroids are quite common, they don't cause any problems with conceiving, I was told, but one of the symptoms is spotting after your normal period.

So I just called my clinic to confirm cd1 - when she said "See you in about 12 days" I nearly cried!

Cried with joy Phoenix?

Hi Ali - just I think with excitement & overwhelm... I am trying so hard to be positive about this cycle as I can't do many & I'm going it alone. Just want it to be the end of the month so I'd just know whether it worked on not!

Good luck! Keeping everything crossed!!

Good luck Phoenix! It must be q overwhelming but hope you can relax and go for it. It's great you are taking this step whatever happens! Does anyone travel w you? Will family look after DD?

I've just been recommended this relaxation technique to combat stress called Heart Math. Think you can find on line. Just in case useful ;-)

Thanks Clara. I need some of that!

Hello, I'm re joining the thread after a mc a month ago.

I was here under a different user name (very happy to pm it) as I remember talking to several of you frequently. I think 'it starts with the egg' was mentioned here which I'm now looking at again and sort of following so thanks for that.

I have one dc who is 4 and I'm 40. I'm now a bit more nervous about the road ahead as it was my first mc. But I must say I had an 'odd' feeling about it from day one so I do wonder if my body knew. It stopped growing at 5-6 weeks though there was a hb at 7+5 and I mc at 8 weeks.

Thanks Clara! DD is going to her dad & step mum's (they know what going on) but other than that I'm going on my own. I've wanted to see Copenhagen for a while so hopefully that will distract me to a degree!

Welcome EK. I wish I'd started at 40! Miscarriages are so awful. I'm so sorry. How long have you been trying?

Sorry to hear that EK... mcs v tough. When trying for dc2 I also had a mc at 40 but dc2 my lovely ds then came when I was 41. Hope same will happen for you ;-)!

That's good Phoenix, wishing you all the luck. We are there to support!