40+ ttc: bring on the bfp's!

[ababsurdum]

Continuation of the long-running 40+ ttc thread.

Link to the previous thread.

Congrats! Great news :-)

I have just had my first line on an opk today, so looks like the soy may be doing it's thing, that is exciting in itself for me after months of blankety blank.

Great Cleo! It's amazing stuff. Im 8dpo and poas this morning - bfn unsurprisingly bad skin and terrible cramps for an hour yesterday (may have been ibs related but felt more af like) another 6 days til she's due to appear presuming my luteal length hasn't changed. However have decided to call Dr tomorrow and start investigations just in case.

Hi. I'm looking for a bit of reassurance.
I'm 41 and been TTC #2 for over a year (off and on).
I'm currently having issues with my Clear blue fertility monitor and this month has been all low readings... this happened last year and I had the 21 day blood test which came back normal.
This morning I read some really depressing statistics which has really peed me off.
Can someone tell me something positive?

Good stuff Cleo!

Hi hairy - there are graduates from this thread on a pregnant 40+ thread. I'm 40 and have had 2 mc this year, currently almost 7 weeks.

Whilst statistics are depressing, it can and does happen. I think at our age supplements count for a lot (it starts with the egg book is a good place to start) and I believe some of the pregnant 40+ said upping exercise helped (not too much though). I think partners also need to get on board, take supplements, cut down on caffeine and alcohol just like us too.

Everyone is individual but it clearly can happen. Just may be a longer route.

I don't know if any of this helps?

Thanks Ekphrasis I've been wonder If about my caffeine intake and what an acceptable level would be. I'm wondering if limiting to one coffee a day would be enough.
Been reading the info on soy isoflavinthingies and the other supplement with interest.
Plan to start temping next cycle to be sure if I'm ovulating or not.
I've heard good things a out acupuncture.

Ekphrasis sorry to hear about your mcs.

It's ok, I think I handle them ok. I don't handle not getting pregnant very well.

I'd recommend reading it starts with the egg to work out what might be right for you - and maybe checking things like if you have pcos etc. I'd definitely temp to check you're ovulating and when - too early could be in issue. I found internet cheapie ovulation sticks very good, but around possible ovulation I'd do two/ three a day as sometimes it's possible to miss it.

And yes cutting out caffeine completely if you can can really help, for both partners. If that's impossible, a small one a day at the most. ISWTE does have info on that too. And alcohol. fun, isn't it?!

Thanks Ekphrasis. I've downloaded the book to read and contacted Drs for another 21 day blood test.
I know what you mean about the mcs. I had two before DD and although they weren't awful, the TTC between them was increasingly draining.

Just checking in. CD 28 (13/14 dpo) and no bfp nor af. Backache and usual pre af symptoms but nothing happening. Hoping soy hasn't affected luteal phase. Unrealistically hoping that there's a possibility of a late bfp , wine chilling in the fridge just in case

Fingers crossed mini. I doesn't sound like it's affected luteal phase though? It's within the realms of normal to have one up to 18 days in length.

Good luck minime, fingers crossed you won't need the wine!

Thanks girls. Still nothing in the way of af symptoms. I've always had a 14 day luteal phase however that could cover from now to Sunday. Will remain hopeful (and off the wine) til I know better 😊

Fingers crossed mini. I hope you haven't needed the wine.

Af arrived bang on time at 14 dpo as I suspect I ovd on the sat and the strong opks were Fri night/sat morning. So what Now...onto another cycle I guess and time to get to the drs 😓

Oh I'm sorry mini . I hope the Drs are helpful.

Hi all - just checking in too - been off here for a while but really hoping to get bfp and this chat really helps. mini - sorry about af. I hope you’re ok. Are you seeing doc for tests? Sorry if you’ve said already.

hairy- hope this makes you feel better: I had my child at 41 (got bfp at 40) so I’m proof that stats are just stats. I did have acupuncture (no idea if it helped), and I also gave up caffeine and sugar almost completely. I ate loads of fruit and veg and pulses and had three Brazil nuts every day! I have no idea if any of it worked but somehow we got a bfp. All my blood tests had come back normal too.

I’m in the tww now - unlikely to get a bfp as think hubby was away on crucial day. But ever hopeful . I’ve been taking vit b in the hope it will increase my luteal phase a bit. Anyone else had that work for them?

Congrats Ek! (Just reading back through posts).

Thanks rugby. I'm in 2 minds whether to go to the doctor and have been putting it off (weirdly phobic). I know there are a host of reasons this isn't working for us but I'm not sure I want to be put through the additional stress of tests and possibly invasive procedures for the same outcomes. This is why I'm throwing all else at it. Think I'm going to have to detox and give up the sugar completely. I've cut back alcohol almost completely with the v rare drink taken (didn't have wine last night despite the witch appearing). I have been eating a load of chocolate and sweets so think that's next step. Also need to move more. Contemplating acupuncture.can it be used with reflexology?? I don't know. Feeling really deflated today as I was sure we had hit all the right things this month. Hate being 40+ (having a major geriatric strop here 😞)

mini - I completely understand your strop. Big hug to you. It’s so hard isn’t it. And you’re not geriatric!
I thought reflexology is part of Chinese medicine too? So I guess they’d go together?

I really feel 40+ bfps are as much about luck as anyone else’s. My cousin had both her kids in her 40s and I know two people who went through all the ivf in early 40s then gave up, then conceived naturally when they’d decided to spend all their baby savings on other things!

The stats tell us otherwise as it’s only recently that people have started having kids later in life so there are not enough numbers for us 40+ers.

I’m on cd 26 which last month saw my af arrive so I’m naturally thinking about testing all the time!

By the way it sounds like you’ve been doing brilliantly with diet mini- be kind to yourself.

Fingers crossed af stays away and there's some good news on the horizon. The thought of ivf does not appeal as I've seen what it has done to my cousin. She has had 3 failed cycled and went through so much to get that far. I've gotten over my strop now the af cramps have subsided so back to positivity. I've just ordered preseed, will try soy from cd2-6, been reading about maca for progesterone support from ov so will give it a go and torment my beloved DH for a few extra bds this cycle 😆 the things we do in the name of ttc!

Don't give up hope mini, it can happen. Several friends of mine have recently given birth or currently expecting at 42+ with no problems. One was even an 'accident'!
So there is always hope.

I'm currently halfway through the 2ww, although have no expectations this month after the last few 'cycles' if I can even call them that. To be honest this month I will be super pleased if af just arrives on time as it will mean a normal cycle! I am totally hoping for that, the next month I can concentrate on working with a hopefully renewed regular pattern (definitely be using soy again too as that worked wonders for ov)

Good to hear Cleo. I'm starting soy again tonight on cd2. Having a be kind to yourself day / evening and relaxing but plan to starting regularly walking and being consciously healthier while not obsessing over it. Soy is certainly powerful stuff-why it can do. Here's hoping good things will happen for all of us soon.

Hi

Pls can I join? I'm 42.5 and TTC #2, just started in August and bfn and don't think i DTD on right day for Sep cycle. I have the added complication that I'm conceiving with a friend/donor who lives in another country so trying to work out the timing is everything!

Decided I don't have time to waste so GP did the day 21 test which was positive for showing I'd ovulated and also had AMH tested which was 9.1-11.1 (2 tests as didn't realise the GP had done it) and had an ultrasound. I've been using the Clearblue fertility monitor which worked perfectly and first cycle with my daughter but my new one isn't picking up any peaks (LH surge) so on the Drs advice have been using cheap OPK sticks in the afternoon. This has worked to find when my LH surge is so is about the only tip I have to offer anyone!

Thinking of trying for 3 months naturally and then going straight to IVF as nervous leaving it any longer. Have cut down on the booze but not done anything else yet so its helpful to read about all the supplements.

Wishing everyone a BFP! xx