40+ ttc: bring on the bfp's!

[ababsurdum]

Continuation of the long-running 40+ ttc thread.

Link to the previous thread.

Weasel, sorry you've been thru this and Ek for your chemical too. It's a v hard time after your hopes are raised.

Jill, I'm 45 soon too and whilst chances are low at our age it does happen so why not try ;-).

Came across this article yday which I found vaguely cheering so in case you ladies do too..

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/thegoodshufu.wordpress.com/2016/05/02/how-i-got-pregnant-naturally-at-45/amp/

Oh I do recognise your name though too :) I was on the HG morning sickness group too....
Clara, really great article, love reading the uplifting stories

I've read that article.

Thanks for the book recommendation only around £5 on kindle.

Wish I had the guts to see dr and say what I'm thinking. Can u ask for (I don't know what you'd call it) a fertility check? What can they test/check for?

I know they can check how endo doing.

Thanks Clara, that is a good article. I think I am just up and down all the time about what to do, articles that this spear me on then I start to think about what can go wrong! Horrible not having time on your side 😞X

I'm going to ask the dr for some kind of check on Friday, I think they can check hormones, not sure what else?

It'll come to us wease!

I don't know wanna. I'm sure someone here will know or you could ask on the pregnant at 40+ thread? No harm in asking though I wonder if it depends on the gp?

Great article clara :) very sensible and measured. I think the things she mentions near the start of the article are what can be tested wanna.

I've developed a bad habit of symptom spotting. Gah.

Jiily i know what you mean and I do worry. A friend who is 40 has 3 mc and then a late tfmr over the last 2 years before she managed to get pregnant, her first being so easy. But She's due soon. But she had advice from mn to do with just taking those chances (can't remember exact advice but it was very positive thinking).

They can test FSH and Estradiol on day 3, and they can test AMH (anti-mullerian hormone) at any point in cycle. However, I think finding out my AmH was extremely low has been one of the lower points of all of this saga, so I may advocate the "ignorance is bliss" stance in hindsight. It really didn't help me at all to know. Certainly doesn't help trying to keep positive.

Hi Till, I know it's really hard but just keep reminding yourself you did get pg 6 months. And AMH doesn't say anything abt egg quality.. You just need one good one!

Ah till I'm sorry, I just caught up on your posts.

I understand the ignorance is bliss. I guess though it could be a snap shot at any one time? Could the hormones wax and wane? (I don't know much about it). And if you did manage to conceive 6 months ago that must be a good sign?

Jilly, It's amazing how alike our stories are! Like you, it wasn't medical stuff that stopped me trying but that the circumstances were never right. They say if you wait for the right time you'll never do it ..that's why i long to turn back the clock too. Saying all this, i heard about a lady who was 49 and didn't realise she was pregnant until right towards the end!! She thought the worse ..that she had a serious stomach problem! Then to find out she was actually expecting ..she had to get everything ready in just a few weeks!! So although the odds are low as they say, it can happen and apparently if you're healthy and fit ..and very lucky ..you can have the fertility of a 35 year old at 45. Or is that b*lloks?!! I read it somewhere on mumsnet xx

I'm 40, have a 15 year old and I'm trying to conceive. My partner and I both have very stressful lives but want nothing more than to have a baby together.

Any advise?

The tests I had through GP were cd3 (FSH, LH) and cd21 (progesterone) blood tests plus ultrasound. But all GPs differ.

I had AMH done privately.

Mellie, how long have you been trying?

Yes I do believe that fertility is an individual thing and some 45-year olds are as fertile as a 40-year old (or less)!

Hello ladies. Room for one more...?

I'm 41 and TTC #2, currently have DS who is three.

Had been casually TTC last year and fell pregnant in December. Everything seemed to slip into place, perfect age gap, ideal space between birthdays, birth date would suit my and hubby's work arrangements, nursery finance working - we were so delighted on so many levels.

Then at the 12wk scan they discovered the baby had no heartbeat despite hearing it at weeks 6 and weeks 8. We were obviously left reeling.

Despite this, or probably because of this, I've thrown myself into TTC again as a way of coping. I'm now six months in, and have had one chemical pregnancy (4 BFPs followed by AF), one mid-cycle bleed (assuming cycles settling post MC), two months of ill hubby (not feeling up to the task - grrr!) and one very cruel evap line. Lots of anxiety, but so far no happy ending.

This month has been particularly hard seeing close friends have their babies being born, when we should have been hitting similar milestones. Not looking forward to next month and baby's due date - have arranged a holiday to escape normality!

I've given myself a 'deadline' of the end of the year to make this happen or give up. But as it approaches, and each month's BFNs, I feel like I'm desperately running out of time.

Is it fair to put deadlines on these things?

Sorry, bit of a ramble. But I don't have anyone to shares this with, as hubby doesn't like to talk about these things. And my head is spinning.

Hi pineapple, im similar to you, also 41 but I have 2 DC. I had a tfmr on Friday, baby passed away at 13 weeks. Still early days for me but we hope to try again in the next couple of months. There's plenty of good news stories about, with ladies conceiving 45+..... we're not out the game yet! :)

We've been trying of almost a year now with no luck... Haven't even conceived once. I think the problem is on his side but how do you tell your partner that. I have my period every month and on time.

I had no problem when I got pregnant with my daughter. We conceived on the first try but that was 15 years ago.

Does anyone know of any natural fertility "drug"? I'd rather do it naturally if I can.

Hi mellie - ubiquinol is supppsed to be egg rejuvenating and also good for sperm.

It starts with the egg is a good book to start reading, advice on supplements and lifestyle changes. I think you can get a sorry count test in boots too? Point your dh towards all the recent news reports about male fertility!

Beyond that, tracking and temping etc to make sure you're timed right on cue.

Thank you. Timing on my side isn't really an issue. I can pretty much tell when I'm ovulating. My body gives me all the right ques. LOL

I also think a lot of this has to do with stressed caused by his ex wife in regards to the child they have together which I don't even think is his but that is a whole other story and probably for a different thread LOL

It's amazing to see how many of us are in the same situation. My pregnancy two days shy of 41 was a complete surprise-- so much so that we hadn't come to terms with it at all before it was gone. And now it's all we can think about. I'm having HSG done tomorrow as a precursor to IVF but now husband is really rethinking IVF. I know the odds are so slim but I just fear the regret of looking back in several years and wishing we had tried everything.

My hubby won't even talk about IVF as an option. He believes it will happen naturally but I'm starting it think it never will... he lives in a bit of a dream world sometimes

My hubby thinks that as well. We have two children (11 and 8) already, and he just thinks that what will be will be. Actually, when I dive deeper into his thoughts, he's scared. So scared that something will happen to me, so many risks; and if we do IVF it would be like we brought it upon ourselves. If we get pregnant naturally, it would be accepting that what will be will be.

So we are literally deciding every day. I'm taking my DHEA, coQ10, and trying to chill out. On cd9 today and no sign of any mucus, neg OPK's, etc. So naturally may not even end up being an option.

If we already had a baby together i'd be okay with letting nature take it's course but we don't. I have one from my past marriage and "so does he"

im on the verge of giving up. if i knew how to i would i think. every month just brings a horrible reminder of what we lost and i cant stay positive.
im cd 27 today zero signs of an upcoming bfp - im just waiting for AF to put in an appearance. same as every month for a year. i really cant see it happening for us naturally now and dp also wont entertain the idea of ivf - hes been there and done that.
i might have to make my peace with it. aF due usually cd30.

ive got one last idea - going to try a fertility lube next cycle and replicate how i got pg last year - we only dtd cd 13, 15 and 19. maybe were trying just a bit too hard now with dtd everyday over fertile window.
god knows. im also i think in the ignorance is bliss camp regards any issues. id rather have hope i think than write the idea off completely - i just worry as after tfmr i developed PID and just hope no damage was done - irony being they talked me into medical management to ensure less damage was caused to safeguard future pregnancies. at 45 i cant see it. im a bit down. its probably pms.

I understand Mellie. If we could only know what the future holds.

I've been reading board after board on this website, going back to 2008 (!) which I'm sure isn't healthy for me. There are so many that get pregnant successfully, so many with miscarriage, and so many that go through years and years of fertility treatment with no results. It's really heartbreaking and it's really random, and I guess just luck in the end who gets their baby and who doesn't. It's brutal. And some even have worse lab data than I do, but have had multiple successful pregnancies! I can't figure it out. All I can do is hope.