40+ ttc: bring on the bfp's!

[ababsurdum]

Continuation of the long-running 40+ ttc thread.

Link to the previous thread.

I'm not sure. It could be worth asking your GP.

Good luck for this cycle!

Just thought I'd say hi. I'm the grand old age of 43 and ttc #1. Met my DH later in life than I would have planned and neither of us have children. So, we're hopeful, but realistic... well, maybe he's a bit more realistic than I am :)

Currently on cycle 3 6dpo, but this is the first one that I'm charting bbt and did opks. So still trying to understand what it's all telling me, but I'm fairly sure I'm 6dpo. Been trying not to get too over-optimistic but doing a bit too much symptom spotting... Had dull af type stomach ache yesterday, but it is (hopefully) too early for that. And today eating lunch, all I could taste was the metal fork I was eating with! Never noticed it so strong before. Well, fingers crossed anyway....

So I just wanted to introduce myself and say hi and good luck to everyone!

Welcome guardian and good luck!! Fingers crossed for you..!

Thanks Clara! Feeling a bit disheartened today as my temp dipped this morning and I think AF is on her way. I also had a 21 day blood test at the GP this month and my GP wants to see me as my level was really low apparently. But I have longer than 28 day cycles anyway, and think I might have ovulated the day after the blood test, but it's still a worry.

But I'm moving house on Friday, so trying to keep focused on that to keep my mind off other things. How's it going with you this month?

Hi Guardian, if you ov'd after your blood test that would explain why it was so low. How many dpo are you?

How are you Clara?

Do you think it's possible at 8dpo to feel premenstrual and that it's not happened? What is it I feel at this stage? What happens between 7dpo (when progesterone peaks) and the implantation window being over? Does anyone else notice anything at this time of the cycle?

Hi Ali, I'm 12 dpo today. My temp went back up this morning so I'm hoping yesterday was just a blip. I'm going to hold off testing until the weekend though, assuming AF doesn't show up. I'm on cd33 today, so it can arrive any day now.

Hi Guardian, good luck. If you're temping can you see when you ovulated in relation to the progesterone test.? Like Ali said if you ovulated after the test that wd explain why progesterone hadn't gone up yet.

Hey Ali, at this stage eg cd 22 or so I often feel v grouchy and mood goes bad!

Hi ladies,

Hope you don't mind me popping on with a bit of positiveness? Introducing Phoebe Belle Blossom, conceived and born when I was 43. She is now 15 weeks old xx I was on a previous thread whilst trying to conceive and everyone is so lovely and supportive xxx ababs I remember you being so kind... best wishes and lots of luck ladies xxxxxxxxx

Ahhhh great to hear some positive news! Thanks Beegee and congrats!

Clara - it's so weird isn't it? Because at 8dpo I have almost a week until AF and it's before the implantation window. So what makes us grouchy at this time?

Beegee, thank you so much for posting, it's given me hope. Phoebe is absolutely gorgeous, you must be a very proud mummy x

Hi everyone. I hope you don't mind me joining... hoping to keep this discussion going. I'm 41, ttc #3. I just found these threads and have read every single one of them over the last few hours... bingeing, I know, I can't help it.
Our story is unplanned pregnancy a week before turning 41. Complete surprise, we have two beautiful children much older and just marching along in life. Lost pregnancy at 6 weeks. We are devastated, and honestly are shocked at how devastated we are.

After loss, cycles were very short (17-19 days) for 2-3 months, and very heavy. Should have gone to RE at that point, but didn't, just chatted with our regular ob who said a couple of months of clomid and we should be pregnant again (no testing at that point.) first month of low dose clomid, didn't ovulate, produced huge cysts, which have not gone away and are still dumping estrogen. So now it's three months later, no end in sight, I have to just 'wait it out'. I'm not having cycles or ovulating and it's killing me to do nothing. Oh, and my amh was tested and it's very low. Honestly, it's hard to get up in the morning. I don't know why I can't be perfectly happy with my lovely family like I was before, when this wasn't ever on my mind.

Sorry so long. Feels good to vent.

Hi Bill,

Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time

Your story is similar to mine. We lost our pg in May 2016 when I was 40 (accidental pregnancy like you, with 2 older children). Been trying ever since.

Did you lose the pg naturally or was it medically-managed? Are your cycles really different to how they were pre-pg? Have the doctors offered any explanation for this?

Hi Ali.

Thank you so much for responding. It feels so good to be able to talk about this. Where I live, 40+ moms are an anomaly. It's hard knowing none of my friends really 'get' why my husband and I are having trouble getting over this. They've all been amazing and excellent support, they are just still in the mindset where DH and I were before our loss: that their lives are perfectly happy and easy with their childbearing years behind them. Sometimes I jealously long for that innocence and happiness as well, yet unfortunately I feel as though I will never get back to that time.

In March, started bleeding with heavy cramping and just blood in my uterus by the time I had a scan. No D&C. HCG returned to normal in about three weeks. Cycle returned in about a month. However, as I said was very heavy, and the next two cycles were only 17 and 19 days.

There's no explanation for why my cycles are so off, except they're saying it's perimenopause given my low AMH. It's hard to fully except this, as before the unplanned pregnancy my cycles were completely normal and obviously was ovulating. Everything just changed on a dime, I feel like I would've had some inkling of menopause prior to now.

Current thinking is in two weeks, when the reproductive endocrinologist comes back from abroad, they may try to aspirate the cysts. Then potentially birth control pills for suppression, then beginning IVF. However, very difficult as my IVF will be completely out of pocket, and I believe my chance of success will be very, very low, given my very low AMH. I just don't know which way to turn.

How have you gotten through this? You sound like you're better adjusted than I am. Did you turn to IVF? I know that time heals all wounds, I'm hoping this is a wound that will also heal.

I'm hoping that this thread isn't dying off, I've been addicted to following it for the last several days, and I hope to now be an active participant. It might make the days go by more easily.

Words can't express how extremely impressed I am of each of you who have been on this forum since 2008. The coursge and strength you all exhibit is really a testament to mothers everywhere.
It really has been a gift to me in a time of need. I hope to hear more of each of your stories.

I know what you mean about the age thing. I was very happy with my lot until this accidental pregnancy turned my life upside down.

It's early days for you, it's only been 4 months since the MC. It does take a while for your body to return to normal. Hopefully it's just that as I can't see the menopause suddenly starting out of nowhere, as you say. And women can still get pg during perimenopause anyway.

Don't take too much notice of your AMH result - it's quality of eggs and not quantity.

Did the Clomid produce the cysts? Once they are gone, maybe things will return to normal?

I haven't done IVF and sometimes wish I had just got on with it as I might be pg by now. But I didn't and that's that. Just hoping it will happen naturally one day.

Don't worry too much about your situation. Give yourself time to grieve and allow your body to return to normal. You are only 41 and there is still time.

Thanks for responding. Has everyone else gone away? Is there another 40+ thread?

Just today had a small amount of mucus-y blood. Perhaps might be cycle? Apparently my last 'bleed' in mid-June (which admittedly was very weak, pink, and short) wasn't a real "period" based on my labs... so technically am cd65 today. Just called RE to see if I need to come in.

I went to a meeting last night with an adoption attorney who basically was talking about all of the ins and outs of different types of adoption. Essentially I feel as if it's incredibly difficult and will probably take years. He also talked about embryo adoption, and I could tell my husband's ears perked up a little at that. Could be a good option since my eggs seem to have passed their expiration date.

How are you doing Ali? I'm thinking IVF exactly for the reason that you just stated, that I don't want to regret not trying in a year. Could you still consider trying it?

I'm ok - up and down. Some days I feel fine and some days I feel terrible. I don't think I will try IVF. If it doesn't happen, I'll just have to come to terms with it.

I don't know where the others are. Don't think there's another thread but haven't checked for ages. I should start a new thread...

Ugh I just got off the phone with the RE's nurse. I said "not sure if this is a real period" and she compared me to a 'tween': "with your numbers, you're at the tail end of prrimenopause and on the edge of menopause. ". Wow I feel better.

Please start a new threat! I'm aboard!

Oh and my personal favorite: "you're at DEFCON 5".

I'm 41. And conceived out of the blue six months ago. Now everything is literally crumbling away.

What's defcon 5?

I had icsi at 36 and had a child on 2nd attempt. Then went on to have 2 children naturally at 39 and 41. I have a friend who tried for no 2 at 45 and got pg first time. It does happen so good luck all. I think every individual couples issues can be slightly different so best to investigate after 6 months of trying if you want a baby 40+. Good luck all.

DEFCON 5 is from a movie, Wargames, with young Matthew Broderick that came out many. years ago. It's what the American government says when things are at the absolute worst state and war is eminent. Not a very optimistic outlook.

Getting ultrasound and labs first thing tomorrow morning, so fingers crossed please. I could really use some extra mojo or karma or prayers are whatever you all believe in.

Fingers crossed. Hope you get good news! x

Hi all, sorry I've been awol.. Just a bit down abt it all at times! Wonderful news Beegee, congrats on Phoebe's arrival. She looks gorgeous and you both give us hope :-).

Good luck for tomorrow Till. Sending you positive karma. You know I think there's similar elements to some of our stories. Part of the reason I'm finding it hard to stop hoping for three is because a pg came along apparently easily and then disappeared. You start imagining a different future and then it seems to disintegrate.

I find it hard to talk about as compared to many of my friends and siblings I'm so lucky to have two, lovely healthy children. i know I am but I still have this yearning.

Ali I took your advice recently and had a good cry with DP. Feel a bit better for that. Found out following ultra sounds post mc that I have a polyp in uterus. Don't know if that has been significant in reducing my chances last 2 years but maybe so looking into it. Agree w Lush that worth pushing for investigations if nothing after 6 months as I'm wishing I had earlier as cd have found this out.

Good luck tomorrow Till!