Thread 26. TTC #1 - Calm as a hysterical cucumber

[AlexiaB]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has somewhat worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

Here's our Grad's Thread. May 2017 lead us all to upduffed heaven and the Grad's thread, amen.

We don't have rules as such but expect to be talked down from the ledge with kind but firm words if you get too hysterical. But most importantly, don't convince yourself that you're pregnant in the tww. That is paramount!

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

hey ladies, thank you so much for your positivity and support! I took a test this morning and it was negative. I'm day 31 now which I know probably sounds silly but my periods are always 28 days like clockwork.

I felt really stupid for allowing myself to get even slightly hopeful and spent some of the cycle ride to work crying (Really good look!).

Still no period and the hospital fertility unit where I had my called- off IUI (because I ovulated early over the weekend before they could do the procedure) want me to go in for a scan on wednesday.

skipper your AF sounds awful hope you have a nice relaxing evening with curry and beers!

Harriet87 my op is to have a fibroid removed, well I have 1 large one at 6cm and another smaller one.

• Kathrino are you going anywhere nice?

Well I was due to have my op today but due to a miss understanding they ending up cancelling it! But I was slightly relieved as I need to get myself prepared! Now waiting for surgeon to give me another date, should be in a few weeks. Box sets, reading and endless to await me! Not sure if I should stop ttc until after the op given that it could be another month away as then I have to wait for 3 months after op to ttc. Might be the only one left here!

Hope everyone is having a nice evening chilling.

• misunderstanding that was meant to say and tv not to!

Need to proof read before posting

That's a shame hopeful but good that you can get some time to prepare.

binky sorry you are upset. I know so many people with pcos and they all have children. It's good that they know now so that they can address it.

missy this month I had one positive opk with practically white ones both days either side, so it is possible to miss the surge. What cd are you?

5dpo here. Have had cramps since I ovulated and still do. Weird. No other symptoms of any kind.

In other news our house purchase has become major stress. It needs so much work we can't get a normal mortgage so looking at bridging finance or just pulling out. We really want it though! When do you move jam?

Glad to hear your brother is improving macs. I hope you enjoy your nice chilled out weekend. I'm very jealous!

So sorry about your diagnosis Binky but hopefully now the docs know there's an issue, they can come up with a plan to get you the treatment you need so you can conceive. It must be a shock to find out something like that though.
*
Missy*, I didn't get any strong lines this cycle. I presume I just missed it. I think it can be over and done pretty quickly. Your CM sounds like you might still be fertile though.

Kerry, sorry about the BFN. I hope it's just too early to show on a test, keeping everything crossed that AF stays away.

Hopeful, sounds like a bit of a mess at the hospital! I hope it's not too long until it can be rearranged.

Harriet, sorry to hear about your house problems. My knowledge of property renovation is mainly from Homes Under the Hammer so I'm not sure so have any useful advice...hope you manage to sort out the finances without too much hassle though.

Hope you're doing okay Gaelach

Nothing to report here at the end of CD32. Thinking I might test tomorrow if situation stays the same but pretty sure I'm going to see a BFN and I'll just have ovulated a few days later. Tempted to POAS tonight as I know I won't sleep well if I'm thinking about doing it in the morning.

Missy I didn't notice that, will have another watch! Poor woman looked so mortified. Re ovulation I reckon forget about it and keep up regular sex 🤞🏼

Kerry don't feel stupid it's so easy to get your hopes up, we are trying after all and it's bound to happen at some point. Hope AF stays away

Hopeful that's good you've got more time to prepare I hope it's not too long for your next date. And you won't be left on your own here I'm sure I'll still be here at least!

Harriet I hope you can make it work it's all so stressful isn't it. We move on the 31st

Fingers tightly crossed for you also kath

Ah kerry how flipping confusing for you grrr sorry you had a cry. What's the scan for? Ahhhh so jealous id love to be able to ride bike to work it would take me 4 hrs though boooo

Hope that date comes through quickly for you hopeful

Thanks harriet would be so typical if I missed the one day but guess I'll never know. I'm cd16 now and my cycle ranges between 24-26 days usually.

kathrino yes that's what I thought about CM was so convinced yesterday actually that was surprised not to see line on opk even had a bit of low cramping, it didn't last long though maybe it's just gearing up for dispersal lol

jam i did feel for her as well if she was nanny hope she doesn't get fired for that she looked so worried :(
I'm up for a GOS tonight so if fertile who knows. Would have loved to see that line though but I prob just missed it. It's so hard doing it at work I've been waiting until I get home each night.

She wasn't the nanny Missy :) I saw that clip on Facebook earlier today, totally made me giggle. The lady in question was the wife/mother of the gent doing the interview - he was the Korea expert after all! You can see it a bit in the older kiddy particularly.

Wife of the gent, mother of the kids! clearly not HIS mother! hee.

Oh phew then to that well I hope they can have a good old giggle over it I'm sure that clip will make it into their family album and make a reappearance at key milestones haha

I don't know where to turn right now.

I went out last night and I'll admit, I drank way too much, all the pent up sadness and frustration was just released and I'll admit I went overboard. I came home at about 2am and I saw a text from DH saying "what the fuck are you doing until this time of night!!!!" (I had told him I was going out and had put my things in spare room so I wouldn't wake him). I'm mortified about this but I got out of the cab and felt sick, so I was sick - DH saw. He is livid.

He came home tonight shouted right in my face, told me to fuck off, screamed at me telling me to get out and leave him alone, threw all my things out of the room and locked himself in. He honestly looked at me in total disgust and I was genuinely scared. I have never seen him like this before.

I've been crying for hours and I'm shaking. I don't know what to do.

Oh lovely, his behaviour is totally and utterly unacceptable. There is absolutely nothing wrong with going out until 2am (or whatever time!) if you want to but I know that you know that. Do you feel safe at home with him there? Is there anywhere you can go or anywhere he can go? Space seems like the best thing right now. You should never ever be made to feel scared by your partner and I'm so angry that he made you feel that way.

You have no reason to feel mortified about anything too, it happens to the best of us and the stress that you've been under needs an outlet. Take care of yourself

woah, that sounds awful pyjamas i cant remember exactly but am i right in thinking he has given up booze? do you know if something else has happened thats upset him seperate from you both as a couple? like something at work? It seems quite an extreme reaction. Possibly hes just feeling the pressure all too much and has noone really to talk to it about apart from you? but even so his behaviour is not acceptable. being sick after a night out is not a crime, everyone is aloud a few to many once in a while. Has he literally thrown all your things out the room? not just the few bits you need overnight? really hope you can talks things over and that hes calmed down enough to do this soon.

I actually feel numb and like I'm in some horrible nightmare. In the four years we've been together he has never raised his voice to me and I was genuinely frightened. The spare room is also my study where my overnight things were and he threw all that out along with some other things. He's now sleeping in there with a chair up against the door so I can't get in.

I'm in shock - I've never been scared before. He shouted that he refuses to be treated this way, what did he do to deserve this, spat out that he's ashamed of me and how did I think it made him feel seeing me sprawled out puking my guts up in a gutter (it wasn't like that, I remember - I got out of the cab and was sick once, no sprawling), all shouted at me and telling me to fuck off while I was telling him he was scaring me.

I don't want to leave because I want to sort this out in the morning, but I honestly don't know what to do. This has never happened to me.

Yes, he has given up booze glittery - I gave it up for three weeks out of cycle so I don't drink during fertile week or TWW. I'm so hurt, it felt like abuse.

Oh pyjamas I'm so sorry. This is unacceptable. I am not in any way condoning it but it sounds like it was totally out of character for him. He is obviously not coping and is taking it out on you which is inexcusable. This process really takes its toll - I think we've probably all had issues with our other halves because it's just so different for them. I hope you can get some sleep and talk it over rationally in the morning. He definitely owes you an apology.

What did he do to deserve what?! You went out with colleagues, had a few drinks and then were sick. That's pretty much every Thursday night for a large proportion of the population. I'm guessing you're not going to get much sleep tonight - do you have an easy DVD you could put on to keep you company? Maybe in the morning he'll have come to his senses, clearly he's not going to engage tonight (which is probably no bad thing if he's so volatile, your safety is absolutely paramount). Sending you lots of strength.

Thank you so much all - I was really blaming myself. But you're right, I should never be made to feel scared. You're right Harriet - it's totally out of character for him which is why I'm so so shocked. I'm stressed out by ttc as well, but I would never dream of treating him the way he treated me tonight. He looked at me like I was something he'd scraped off his shoe. One of the reasons I fell in love with him was his gentle nature and knowing he would never hurt me in that way. Now I feel like that security isn't there.

Exactly kath - I don't understand.

Sleep isn't going to come easy, but I will try.

You have absolutely nothing to blame yourself for pyjamas, please remember that. I absolutely know how you feel though; I had an incident with DH a few months ago where I was scared by the way he was behaving. We managed to get through it but it shakes the very foundations which you've built your life on, I know. I'm sure your DH is stressed out by TTC but that's absolutely no excuse to shout at someone like he shouted at you. I don't think there's any excuse in the world to be honest. I hope you manage to get some sleep tonight.

Thank you kath - that's what it feels like, like my foundations have been rocked. I didn't recognise him.