Thread 26. TTC #1 - Calm as a hysterical cucumber

[AlexiaB]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has somewhat worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

Here's our Grad's Thread. May 2017 lead us all to upduffed heaven and the Grad's thread, amen.

We don't have rules as such but expect to be talked down from the ledge with kind but firm words if you get too hysterical. But most importantly, don't convince yourself that you're pregnant in the tww. That is paramount!

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

Penguin I think IVF funding is being lost altogether in some regions. Just beyond heartbreaking for people who can't pay.

That's lovely you are excited about starting treatment kath - I need to get into this mindset . I'm nervous about the overseas element and I'm worrying about who to tell and when. I think our parents will be really concerned and have lots of questions and I want them to know but can't face the barrage. I also don't think I'll want them to know the ins and outs of when we start treatment - it's going to be the mother of all TWWs and I don't want them asking me if it's worked etc. Maybe I'm not giving them enough credit, maybe they would be more sensitive than that. I also don't want people knowing that DH has anything wrong with his sperm. I don't know why - I think I'd find it easier if it was me with the problem. Maybe I'm just feeling protective of him.

There is lots to be positive about though - hopefully IVF can bypass our problem and that in itself is amazing.

Hugs alexia I'm glad your mum is supporting you so well

Harriet sounds like you've given it a decent shot. Have a nice chilled TWW

I hope this is it smitten!

So sorry for BFN skipper it's just so shit 😔 I hope you're alright 💜

Ah and we finally exchanged today ☺️🏡🥂

Sorry skipper, what a bitch.

The plot thickens here.... took a FRER earlier and it was whiter than white. Had had coffee and water though, not a very long hold... but I thought at this point it would still be likely to show up. BFN also on an internet cheapie.

Just did another opk though, see attached. I don't think they've ever got this dark for me, ever. (The bottom one is wet and the rest are dry)

London, fabulous news!

PS, I'm 15dpo, I think.

Sorry been away for a while needed I get on top of my anxiety problem last week and the good news is today is the first day in seven months when I have not been blighted by it...she says touching wood in the hope it doesn't all come crashing down tomorrow!
Sorry if I have missed much.
skip sorry for the BFN blooming typical AF the witch waiting in the wings like that for you grrr
smitten wow those OPKs look pretty strong on the line front are you doing a test in the morning...weird about the FRER thing maybe the level is just not high enough yet for it??? Fx fx fx for you...

So ventured into the OPK world over weekend as you can see no positive yet the second one I did had a bit of a line but apparently that is still negative right? The line needs to be same as the first line for positive...

Evening ladies! Sending good vibes to anyone in the two week wait with me... one thing I've noticed is that I no longer expect that I will get pregnant, so it's easier to deal with when my period starts. I've even managed to ignore my 'symptoms' this month and not completely convince myself I'm up the duff!

Last night I had the sleepless night I always get a couple of days before I start (apparently it happens because progesterone drops) - anyone else get that?

HUGE congrats Smitten - so pleased!

Everyone looking up their IVF info - you're so lucky if you get three cycles still! We get just one here, but it's at one of the best clinics in the country so that's definitely a plus. We're going along to their open morning on Sunday to see them - we still haven't had our three NHS Iui yet, but I want to be prepared.

AlexiaB I know exactly what you mean about feeling bitter / calm acceptance. Mostly I cope fine too, but it is just so bloody UNFAIR isn't it.

So much to catch up on I don't know where to start! Apologies if I miss anything big!

That opk is very encouraging smitten but am confused by the FRER What CD/dpo are you on? Did you pick up ov through temping? I surged twice a few cycles ago and obviously me and DH were quite literally all shagged out by then!

Damn stupid AF skipper - I'm sorry it looks like she's on her way. I'm like you wondering when my spotting is going to turn up.

Hooray for exchanging today jam! Congratulations!

I checked our IVF allowance today - one funded cycle after 24 months (no thanks) and two private ones allowed. My clock is ticking so we won't be waiting 24 months.

Sorry you're having a tough time Alexia - it's totally natural to feel bitter.

CD26 here and still nothing to report. Absolutely nothing. Expectations are low, not quite sure why, but I'm just not expecting anything anymore. Feels like pregnancy is something that happens to other people. If/when AF comes, I've got a couple of fun nights planned as well as my birthday next week. Have told DH I'm going out, letting my hair down and drinking if I'm not pregnant by the time I'm 36 (next week), and there's nothing he can do to stop me - I'll stay in a hotel if that's what it takes to avoid an argument. He didn't argue!

Hi ladies - sorry for going AWOL again, I've been away for a family wedding (which was lovely but I am so glad to be home now!).

Hmm strange one Smitten, some seriously strong OPK lines! Are you going to test with FMU tomorrow? FX for you!!

Eek congrats Jam! So exciting!

Ahh sorry skipper

Kwick hope you're ok lovely, you seem to be having a tough time of it at the moment. Take care of yourself and don't overdo it, your work schedule sounds manic

Glad to hear your mum is so supportive Alexia, hope you're doing ok! You're not out yet, hopefully just to soon for anything to be picked up. FX for you!

Anyone care to analyse my chart? CD30 and no crosshairs still If my temperature stays around the current level it will put CD23 as my ovulation date (yes, I have resorted to testing out pretend future data ).

Pyjamas81 I feel exactly the same as you re not expecting anything. It makes it easier to cope with doesn't it? But I wonder if either of us will believe it when we do get pregnant. It's definitely great that you've got some fun stuff planned

Missy that is great progress. Please don't be disheartened if you have an anxious moment or day - it does not mean you are back to square one. It's just a small hiccup and you can pick yourself up and carry on again. Your OPKs are negative so far - keep going!

Kerry I sleep terribly before AF. It adds to my general sense of grump and crapness! When are you going for your IUI?

Pyjamas - it feels like pregnancy is something happens to other people - yes oh god yes I absolutely feel like this now. I think it's also why I don't feel that excited about IVF too ?! Even that surely won't actually result in pregnancy? I can't imagine ever ever seeing a BFP. I feel like I'm trying to grow wings and fly over my house. Your DH definitely needs to let you enjoy your birthday by the way!!

Jam - I got curious and took at look at IVF funding in my area. I get one fucking cycle. Unfortunately, OH and I couldn't afford additional cycles so that would be it for us. I keep thinking IVF is the be all and end all solution but now I'm not so sure. Congraulations on your completion - so, so excited for you!! xx

Smitten - how strange, have you got another FRER to do in the morning maybe?

Jam, in some ways, it feels like when we started TTC all those months ago all over again. There are definitely elements that I'm not looking forward to but DH and I are both quite practical/logical people and the stats around IVF appeal to us. Obviously, it's not a guarantee at all but the odds are so much more in a our favour than if we're just TTC naturally so it seems like a no-brainer. We definitely won't tell his family (his sister is a doctor with no social skills so would be overly interested plus they're catholic and technically IVF isn't allowed although I'm sure they'd be fine). Not sure about my parents, we're closer to them but I think I want to keep it between DH and me (and all of you obviously). And congrats on exchanging, brilliant news!!

Sk1pper, I'm so sorry about AF. There's nothing like peeing on a stick to start it flowing is there? It's really shitty though and I hope you're doing okay.

Alexia, sorry for the white OPK. Hopefully it's just too early / not sensitive enough to pick up anything.

Smitten, that's odd about the FRER given the strength of your OPKs. This may be a stupid question but how sure are you that you ovulated two weeks ago?

Missy, glad you're feeling a bit better. Anxiety is just the worst. Your OPKs still look negative to me but hopefully the line you've got means you're gearing up for a surge in a day or two.

Kerry, your point around sleep is really interesting. I tend to not sleep well generally but I wonder if it's linked to hormones at all. I must track it and see! How many DPO are you?

Pyjamas, I absolutely know what you mean about feeling like pregnancy happens to other people. I sometimes wonder if they all know something we don't...we are doing sex right aren't we?! I hope you have good news for your birthday but if not, have the mother of all celebrations. You deserve it.

Forgot to say that I'm thinking of you kwick. Sending you lots of good vibes to get through this week and your horrendous schedule.

Skipper mine is one cycle too but with two frozen transfers. Do you get any frozen goes? They have similar success rate, some say slightly higher. Have you looked at overseas prices? Some of the European clinics are a lot cheaper - I'm looking at Reprofit Czech Republic which is €1950 for one cycle. I really hope you have some more options. I hope even more that it happens naturally and you don't even need IVF.

Kathrino, it's not a stupid question; I got a fairly strong opk at that time, but these opks from the last couple of days are making me question everything... !

That is good news jam

Jam - not sure, the spreadsheet I found wasn't that great. I think I'll just wait for my appointment in April and get the low down from the gynaecologist. I'm unsure about doing it abroad, I mean cost wise it's fine but I can't get my head round the logistics of it. Do you have to keep flying over for each step or stay out there for the whole thing start to finish? Maybe I'm thinking IVF is much more complex than it is. I hope we both don't need it mate xx

That's exactly it kath - makes me think we must be doing it wrong!! Glad you're feeling positive about next steps 🙂

That's how I feel as well jam - I can't actually imagine seeing my own BFP, it feels like a totally alien concept!

Sorry guys - I tend to do this a couple of days before AF is due. It's like I try and convince myself it's definitely not happening as a form of self-preservation.

I will definitely be letting my hair down for my birthday if no BFP!

Thanks kwick you okay?

Skipper I know what you mean. Overseas seems v daunting. Some of the clinics have 'sister' clinics in the uk you can get scans done at, and then I think you need to go there for the egg collection and transfer. I'm not sure other than that. Hopefully someone else can advise. I'm pretty early on in investigations. Maybe a few of us should do it together! Mumsnet mini break 😬

Pyjamas I do the exact same thing - self preservation all the way. I wrote a list of PMA too which is not always easy but helped. Things like - enjoyjng child free trips with DH, being able to cope, getting closer to it every day, being able to try again in two weeks, enjoying yoga etc etc. Anything you can think of

Jam - Assuming I get my period wednesday, I'll call the clinic then and hopefully they have room for me. So probably in 2.5 weeks or so.

Kath - I'm CD 27 but not 100% sure when I ovulated as I didn't get on with the new tests I was using - I should be about 12dpo but who knows!

Pyjamas and kathrino (or should that be the twins??!) good luck for tomorrow! Skipper hope it's just spotting and AF keeps the hell away- fx

Kwick what a sucky week when you're already going through so much. Take care of yourself 💐 Hope you get a fantastic sleep tonight and the next couple of days are ok

Yay London congrats on exchanging! 🎉 Great news

I reckon you've got good chance with your timing Harriet-fx

Alexia- it bloody sucks doesn't it, when the fuck are we all getting our sticky beans????

I'm sorry I've been flakey last couple of weeks...I'm not going so well with the TTC crap. I've had a meltdown this evening and am feeling pretty shitty (that's probably the good old PMS starting) and although am struggling not to symptom spot I know I'm going to plummet when AF arrives at the end of the week 😫 Plus have my scan Friday and worried about what it will show. All in all, I'm like a thunderstorm right now! Urgh!!

Hey Binky - no point worrying about your scan until after the results (if then). Easier said than done I know...Do you have to have the scan during AF?

And the faint spotting has started - Cycle 10, here we come. Let's see when full AF shows, then I'll be able to pin point when I ov'd.