Thread 26. TTC #1 - Calm as a hysterical cucumber

[AlexiaB]

Calling all OPK-ers, Temp-ers, Clomid-ers, Femara-ers, IUI-ers, IVF-ers and anyone else on the TTC #1 Bus.

We've been going a while now so the novelty has somewhat worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area. We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts, we just keep it legs spread and fingers crossed (LSFX). We love a baby bomb from a prior bus-mate but if we get told to 'just relax and enjoy it' ONE MORE TIME you will get a punch in the face!

Here's our Grad's Thread. May 2017 lead us all to upduffed heaven and the Grad's thread, amen.

We don't have rules as such but expect to be talked down from the ledge with kind but firm words if you get too hysterical. But most importantly, don't convince yourself that you're pregnant in the tww. That is paramount!

Hop on board, post your stats and prepare to be dazzled by the wealth of TTC knowledge we long-timeys have to share...

Hi, just a quick update from me.

Woke up on Tuesday feeling very different/not pregnant. Had some brownish discharge later on in day. Nothing yesterday but seems to be building up again today. Not hopefull at all now. Haven't even told anyone in real life so it's pretty much me and my OH. I have spoke to the doctor. I have a midwife appointment on Tuesday. If I haven't fully bled out they will then get me a scan as I should be 6.5/7 wks so they should be able to see what's happening by that point. Right now it's too early to do anything.

kwick glad to hear you are back at work. Always put yourself first so if you feel you need a less stressfull job then go for it.

jam i hope you get the answers you are looking for today.

Will catch up soon everyone, have a stress headache from all this so can't really concentrate properly. Hope everyone is well x

Sorry I meant pyjamas re relaxed cycles, not jam! Thanks for the hugs.

Hope you are ok peaches. Great you will have an early scan. I think bleeding is really common and brown suggests old blood so fingers crossed all will be fine. Have you had any cramping?

thanks harriet Yes and no. Nothing I wouldn't expect in early pregnancy, so nothing overly painful. I just have a horrible feeling it's not right. I had extremely sore boobs and nausea and both have disappeared. Have also had real upset tummy after being bloated and constipated. Trying to remain optimistic. It's going to be a lot going week!

peaches keeping everything crossed for you. hopefully you will answers soon.

Thinking of you peaches and wishing you lots of luck for your appointment next week. I hope nothing happens between now and then, take care of yourself

Sounds really tough harriet, can you recover a bit over the weekend? Hoping that your ovulation is just delayed because you've not been feeling well and that egg will pop out soon.

Jam, good luck for this afternoon. I hope it helps DH comes to terms with it all too.

Loving the chilled out cycles. Feeling similar here at about 8/9 DPO. Definitely not testing until a week on Saturday although fully expecting AF before then. What will be, will be.

Fx everything will be fine peaches some bleeding in early pregnancy does seem very common

Consultant said IVF with ICSI. He did an internal scan on me there and then said everything fine. We had blood taken for various things and DH has to do another SA.

He said there isn't much you can do to influence morphology. He said you can try Proxeed Plus and reduce caffeine / alcohol but he didn't say give up - he said everything in moderation.

We've got a follow up appointment on three months when we get referred for IVF. The waiting list is 6-8 months so the soonest we would be starting treatment is December.

He did say we might still conceive naturally in that time. I asked can people can conceive with low morphology and both he and the nurse nodded straight away and said yes.

I think we're both in shock. I just can't process this. I can't believe we are going to be waiting this long. We are spending all our savings on this flat and will have nothing left for paying for IVF.

Kwick im glad you managed to get through the first day but i agree with everyone else in saying if your not enjoying it anymore and they cant offer you a suitible position then looking elsewhere is a good idea.

harriet what cycle day are you? im sure you will get the positive opk soon it just may be slightly out of wack with normal.

jam good luck in your appointment today, hope you start getting some answers.

peaches fx for no more bleeding. My friend lost all her pregnancy symptoms about 6 weeks (she had sore boobs and slight food aversion and bloating) they went away for about a week and then returned with a vengence including nasty morning sickness for 2 weeks before going again and then apart from the growing belly she pretty much didnt get any other symptoms until labour...

glad to see so many people having a relaxed cycle. fx it brings you all the bfp you want. im sitting just in/half way through the fw now depending on if my body depends to chuck out an egg earlier again this month or not. on cd 11, last month got positive opk cd 12. already have ecwm for last 2 days which i dont usually get until after postive opk. Im trying the b complex as well this month- i think it was flash who had just started that as well. Had a 10 day lp last month with spotting for 3 days before af.

jam didnt see your last post as i was typing. I know of many people who get their bfp while on the waiting list for IVF, its like being on the list takes the pressure off and then just like that it happens! i am sure you will be one of them!

jam at least you have a plan of action. Do you not qualify for NHS Ivf? But always remember both the doc and the nurse have quickly agreed it's not a definite no to conceive naturally too. Try and take some comfort from the fact you have a plan of action in place. Give yourselves a few days to let everything sink in

Thanks again for the thoughts everyone, it's nice to feel there's a place to talk. I've read loads since Tuesday and really there's nothing I can control either way. I just need to try not make myself ill with worry. glitter fx I'm one of the lucky ones like your friend.

Jam, I'm so sorry about the wait. It must be so gutting to gear yourself up for the appointment and what the next steps might be only to find that there is such a long waiting list. Did he have an opinion as to whether a HSG in the intervening months might help at all? I hope your DH is being fully supportive of you

(From a totally selfish perspective, I'm interested that he said ICSI as that didn't seem to be on the table when we spoke to our consultant so it might be something I should pick up next time I see her).

DH is very upset. I asked about HSG but he said no point - said my tubes / ovaries / uterus all looked completely fine on the scan and its his opinion we are not conceiving because of the abnormal sperm.

Am going to look into how much it actually costs. I think it's cheaper in Europe.

Jam I know it's a massive shock but lots of positives. Here's 5 to start with:
A) you're going to be referred for IVF with ICSI in 3 months if it hasn't happened so it's an option there for you if you want it but you don't have to. It's another string to your ttc bow.
B) you still have say, 9 months to conceive a miracle baby naturally - it happens all the time. I was on one thread where a lady got her bfp the same day as her CCG funding letter came through which is the last step before you start!
C) you get at least one (maybe two?) NHS free goes - some people get none and have to save or take loans
D) your consultant - like mine - said everything in moderation. It's ok to drink a bit. So as long as your DH is not on a bender every other day, you can relax a bit and not let the drinking come between you and DH. You can stop fighting about it. It's shit that the MFI is there but it's just the hand you've drawn and there's not much you can do to change it. Since I let go and accepted the morphology just is what it is and it's ok for my DH to have a few drinks and a pizza like normal, we've been much happier and less stressed.
E) your DH went to the appointment. He obviously wants answers like you do and wants this baby!
I have been exactly where you are to the letter and I've felt that desperation and one thing I would say is that even though I desperately wanted the IVF to start in the hope I can meet my baby quicker, I actually considered delaying for a month just to get my head around it more. It's a huge decision and although 9 months feels like forever, it gives you the chance to do your research and understand exactly what it'll mean. When we had to have protected sex this month to start the IVF and I knew we'd stopped trying naturally - even with low chances - it made me really sad.
Take some time to digest it all but honestly, you'll feel better about this soon. If you ever want to message direct just PM me.

Oh and one other thing. Lots of women on the "mind numbing boredom of infertility" have been abroad so might be worth lurking there/reading back and there's separate threads for reprofit and similiar who are certainly much cheaper than UK with great success rates.

It's just such a long time gee I can't get my head around waiting that long

I think we're going to have to start saving up again as soon as we've bought this place. We haven't exchanged yet - there's part of me wondering whether we bin and put our savings in IVF instead.

I know it feels like so awfully long. No one can make the decision re the house for you but what I would say is that if you buy the house, you'll definitely own a house to raise your baby in when he or she comes and they will! If you pull out, and I don't want to scare you more than you already are, there's a risk you might spend that money on an IVF cycle that could fail - you have to mentally prepare for it to take 3 shots - then you'd end up waiting for your NHS rounds anyway but you won't have the house. It's tough. Hey don't make a rash decision.

skipper loads of travel with current job 2-3 days each week if not more.

peaches I really hope it is nothing.

jam what is really encouraging is that you have options. You can still conceive naturally and if not you can start amazeballs treatment in December. Remember you are in perfect time.
Re: cost - definitely cheaper abroad - IVI in Spain has a very good reputation; some clinics in Greece do too. What typically bumps up the cost are the meds - did you discuss doibg a natural cycle with no stimulating drugs?
Sorry to hear DH is upset but at least you know what the issue is. I guess I am "lucky" I get to try different magic potions...
What geeup said (see you cannot abandon us - we need you!)

Thanks ladies - your support means so much to me :)
CBT was via an online chat!!! Will give it a go though.
Only cried on one person today... and then alone for a bit. That is progress more work shit came my way again today - it is never ending. I am exhausted.

Jam, definitely cheaper in Europe. I think we're budgeting about £20k in total (estimating that will give us three goes); the cost is one of the reasons we've decided to hold off on pursuing IVF for a while. I think it's about half of that in Europe isn't it? Spain is supposed to be very good too. In terms of the choice between moving and IVF, it's difficult when it's so raw but I guess you have to think about what will be better for you long term and where you'd rather be in a year's time. There are no easy decisions though. Let me know if you ever want a (real life) glass of wine and a rant.

Kwick glad you had a better (if that's the right word...) day although I'm sorry about the work shit. Is there scope to get signed off for longer? It doesn't sound like it's a healthy environment at all.

I am not sure kathrino if going out again would be wise but I may need to pull back a bit... lets see how it goes. I just had a squiz on some job boards... problem is not sure what I want to do next.
I want to come too if you and jam are planning a rendezvous!!!

It seems about £5-6k a go in the U.K. doesn't it? If it's half price abroad I think we will seriously consider it.

Yes please to London meet up / Vino xx

We've signed the contracts so will exchange tomorrow. We're too far in to lose it now. We've said we will start saving again as soon as we can. And keep trying.

So sorry as well to read you've had a tough day Jam. Awesome work on finding the positives geeup! I've been thinking about IVF so your post was very interesting to me!

I'm in the few days before period is due hell, anyone else? I get SO bloated that I literally look 5 months pregnant, not really what you want ha!

Just managed to catch up jam - wow a lot for you and your DH to take in and think about. But great that you have options and could still conceive naturally. Me and DH are sort of in a similar position - we're putting off selling up and buying a bigger place until we know whether we'll need to shell out for IVF. We are fine where we are at the moment and there's enough room for a baby if it happens, so that's the right decision for us I think. Am sure after some proper chats with your DH, you can come to a decision you're both hopefully comfortable with.

I'd be up for a London bev too! Although may be a non-alcoholic bev depending on where I am in cycle hahaha

Sounds like we are going to have a large gathering

If anyone needs cheering up, may I suggest this thread plus read the link on it... I have been laughing so hard I nearly did myself a mischief!
Jesus fuck, my fanny is on fire!
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2867947-Jesus-fuck-my-fanny-is-on-fire

Hahahahahahaha kwick I saw that thread earlier!

hahahaha, great start to the day kwick thanks woke partner up with my sniggering